Thou Art With Me

by Debbie Viguié

  “I have no money.”

  “We’ll call Joseph and Mark, I’m sure they can arrange something.”

  “Yeah, but I’ve never played for actual money.”

  “But at least you’ve played, and we don’t have time or opportunity for you to teach me everything you know about poker. You’re our best shot,” Jeremiah said.

  “Okay, but even so, I don’t see it happening. I can’t exactly walk up to someone and say ‘Hey, deal me in.’ You know?”

  “No, but I’ve got a way that they’ll come to you.”

  “How?” she asked.

  Jeremiah smiled. “By doing what couples have done for thousands of years. We’re going to fight about money.”

  19

  The group session that night ended up being canceled as staff were apparently called together to help find Dorothea’s necklace. As much as Cindy wanted to help with that, she had more pressing issues to deal with. Jeremiah went out for a little while to follow spy on Summer and the woman from the front desk, but was back shortly. He was convinced that because of all the other activity going on that no one would have a chance to sneak off and dig up a body.

  Cindy spent time steeling herself mentally for the challenges the next day were going to bring. At least by the time the first morning session rolled around she was ready.

  Cindy was certain that Jeremiah was out of his mind. That was the only possible explanation. She’d listened carefully to his plan, though, and ultimately she couldn’t find fault with it. They approached the building where they were about to have a group session. It was show time.

  “You ready?” Jeremiah asked softly.

  “I am.”

  Louder Jeremiah said, “I just think it’s the man’s responsibility to take care of his wife.”

  “You’re living a couple of generations in the past then,” Cindy said, also elevating her voice.

  “We should be able to live on what I can bring in,” Jeremiah said as he reached forward and grabbed the handle of the door. He yanked it open.

  “And that’s stupid. There’s no reason for us to live like paupers,” Cindy said.

  “Modest, yes, but we won’t be living like paupers. Just because it doesn’t meet up with your high standards-”

  She cut Jeremiah off. “Wait, are you saying that I’m a snob? Because you know, I’ve never treated you any differently because you didn’t have money.”

  They had the attention of everyone in the room.

  “Don’t say it like that, you make me sound like a bum who is homeless on the street.”

  “I’m not calling you a bum, I’m just saying that your Spartan lifestyle might work for you, but not for me. And it doesn’t have to, which is the great thing.”

  “We shouldn’t be using your money to pay our monthly expenses. That should come from my salary.”

  “Which would mean having to move into your tiny apartment, and that’s never going to happen. I realize this is probably some weird macho crap that they taught you in Israel growing up, but here in America-”

  “Here in America a man can still have his dignity and pride,” Jeremiah snapped. “I’ve seen the way your family spends money and that’s not for me. I want no part of their money.”

  “We’re not talking about their money, we’re talking about my money.”

  “Oh, yes, how could I ever forget that you’re rich and I’m not?” Jeremiah was shouting now.

  “What is wrong with you?” Cindy yelled, balling her hands into fists at her side.

  “Cindy! Jeremiah! Deep breaths. Let’s just try to calm down,” Arnold said, hurrying over to them. “I know income inequity can cause stress, but-”

  “This has nothing to do with income inequity. She’s never worked a day in her life. She inherited her grandparents’ fortune.”

  “I’m tired of doing things his way. You know we’re stuck in a teeny little bungalow because he insisted on paying for half of this retreat? If I’d let him pay for the whole thing like he wanted to then he’d still be saving for months, maybe years before we got here. Lucky me, we were only dating, so he couldn’t make the ‘responsible for paying for his family’ argument stick.”

  “Maybe it’s lucky for both of us that we’re here. It makes some things a lot clearer,” Jeremiah said, sounding incredibly angry.

  “I don’t like you like this,” Cindy said, crossing her arms.

  “Then maybe we shouldn’t be dating.”

  “Maybe we shouldn’t. We came here to see where we should go from here as a couple and I think things are becoming pretty clear.”

  “Okay, that’s enough. You need to either settle down or one of you needs to walk away so that the two of you can calm down and get a chance to think before you say anything else hurtful,” Arnold said.

  “Good idea. I think I’ll go see what else there is to do around this dump,” Cindy fumed before turning and storming out the door. “If anyone wants me I’ll be at the pool,” she threw back over her shoulder before letting the door slam behind her.

  She kept walking, keeping her head high, and headed straight for the bungalow. There she’d change into her bathing suit and head for the pool area in case anyone did want to come looking. She was just grateful that Jeremiah was the one stuck in the room with everyone who had just witnessed their fake fight.

  Jeremiah watched Cindy walk out of the room. It surprised him how much even fake fighting with her caused him anxiety. He had an almost overwhelming need to chase after her even though he knew she really wasn’t angry and that this was all part of the plan.

  He took a deep breath, grimaced, and turned to Arnold. “Coming from two different worlds can be exciting at first.”

  Arnold nodded. “But sooner or later if you’re going to stay together you have to pick one to live in.”

  “That’s very well put,” he said in a moment of sincerity.

  “Thank you.” Arnold turned. “Class, we’ll begin in five minutes.” He turned back to Jeremiah. “Excuse me for a moment.”

  Jeremiah watched as Arnold left the building, hopefully on the way to tell someone that Cindy was rich.

  He turned back and saw that all the other couples were still staring.

  “Dude, you should totally let her pay for stuff,” Tristan said.

  “And there’s no way she should have to move into a dinky apartment,” Jill said, wrinkling her nose.

  Jeremiah sighed. Unfortunately being the one who stayed behind meant a lot of awkwardness, but better that he endure it than Cindy.

  “It’s hard, sometimes. We are so different. Different cultures, different values,” he said, purposely allowing his natural accent to manifest more strongly. “We don’t always understand each other.”

  “You don’t always have to understand each other,” Beth said earnestly. “You just have to love each other.”

  “That’s right,” Tristan said, picking up his wife’s hand and kissing it.

  “And what Arnold said about picking a world? Trust me, Cindy’s world sounds a whole lot better,” Jack said.

  Jill nodded emphatically.

  Jeremiah didn’t say anything else. He slowly sat down on his cushion on the floor and stared at Cindy’s empty one. He had no idea what he was supposed to do here by himself, but he figured that was Arnold’s job to figure out. The instructor should be back shortly and would surely tell him what to do. Personally he was hoping to be excused which meant he could do a little more reconnaissance work, and maybe even be able to keep an eye on Cindy while she was at the pool.

  Cindy’s heart was still beating a little faster than normal by the time she’d changed into her bathing suit. As she glanced in the mirror she was grateful that Dave had talked her into buying a new one. Her old suit would never have passed muster as belonging to a woman with money. Or probably even one with taste. She shook her head ruefully. She could thank Dave for her entire wardrobe this week, which was giving her the chance to play out this charade.

&nbs
p; She grabbed a hat, towel, and some sunscreen and headed for the pool. Fortunately it had been a warm week even if it was February. That was one of the nice things about living in southern California, it rarely got truly cold.

  As she walked to the pool she tried to put a little angry woman with attitude swagger into her walk in case anyone was looking. She made it all the way there without encountering anyone. It was fairly isolated on the property, though, and theoretically everyone should be in sessions for a couple of hours. She ignored the beach chairs that were scattered around and instead spread out her towel on the sand and stretched out. She’d wait a few minutes before applying sunscreen. Hopefully someone would approach her in that time and she’d be back inside before she needed it.

  It hadn’t been as difficult faking an argument with Jeremiah as she’d thought it would be. The really hard part had been keeping it on topic. She’d found that as she raised her voice and faked the anger that there was a lot of real frustration bubbling just beneath the surface. She wished they could be more like a normal couple and it was getting harder and harder to keep their relationship a secret. She was trying to respect his need to do so, but it was starting to get to her.

  If anything this retreat was bringing the frustration and impatience to the surface. Maybe it was being around so many married couples who were honestly trying to work on their relationships instead of being here clandestinely trying to investigate a disappearance. Or maybe it was the fact that here they were getting to hold hands and kiss openly. They were even expected to and in some cases required to. It made the secrecy back home seem that much more oppressive and it made her less and less eager to return to her real life. She couldn’t get what Dr. Carpenter had said about sacrificing everything else for safety out of her mind.

  “Hey, how are you doing?”

  Cindy looked up to see Summer, the yoga instructor, looking down at her sympathetically.

  “I’m okay,” Cindy said, being careful not to smile as she propped herself up on her elbows.

  Summer sat down on the sand next to her. “Come on, Sweetie, you don’t have to put on a brave face. You’re safe. There’s nothing you can say to me that will ever be repeated.”

  “Jeremiah and I had a fight,” Cindy said.

  “I heard,” Summer said, tilting her head to the side. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Wow, gossip travels fast around here.”

  “It’s not like that. Arnold was worried about you, but he had to teach the class. He asked me to come make sure you were okay. Plus, he thought you might be more willing to talk to another woman.”

  “Wow, a man actually came up with a good idea all on his own,” Cindy said sarcastically. “I wouldn’t have made a bet on that.”

  Summer laughed and put her hand on Cindy’s arm. “Yeah, most of the time they can be pretty stupid.”

  She was trying to make Cindy feel comfortable, reel her in and get her to confide. It was possible she was just a kind person and a good counselor, but Cindy was hoping that Summer’s attention had a more sinister motivation.

  “And my guy trumps them all,” Cindy said with a sigh.

  “What did he do?”

  “He comes across all King of Hearts until he has to actually face that I’m the Queen of Diamonds.” Cindy was purposefully using as many card and gambling related words and phrases as she could, just to make sure the other woman was connecting her with gambling.

  “So, he’s all lovey dovey until he realizes that what you need is to see a ring then he gets cold feet?” Summer asked, clearly trying to catch up.

  “I’m sorry. I’m used to playing things close to the vest. I don’t often like to come right out and lay my cards on the table for everyone to see. I’m not looking for a ring from him. Well, I mean, eventually, I think. That’s kind of why we’re here to explore whether or not we’re suited for each other. I come from money. He hates it when people know that, so I try to keep it concealed when we’re places people don’t already know us.”

  “That seems very strange. Why would he hate that you come from money?”

  “He’s got these weird ideas that the man should take care of everything, earn the money, all that. I mean, I thought it was cute at first, but then he started getting really weird about it. I don’t know what his problem is. It’s money, it’s meant to be spent and enjoyed.”

  “And you’re not getting to spend your own money?” Summer asked, eyes wide.

  “Exactly! Take this retreat for example. I wanted us to go to this nice place up in Napa, you know, a real first class place. I was happy to pay for it, but because he couldn’t at least pay his own way he refused. That’s how we ended up in this dump. It was all he could afford.” Cindy winced. “I’m sorry. I did not mean to slam this place. You and the other staff have been very nice.”

  “No, it’s okay. I understand. We make do with what we have here and we’re not like one of the really fancy retreat centers.”

  “I know. And in theory the laid back thing sounds nice, but there’s just nothing interesting to do and I’m so bored.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Summer said.

  Cindy was hoping Summer would say something useful soon. She was beginning to worry that she was in danger of overplaying her hand. She sighed in a dramatic fashion. “You know what I really want right now?”

  “Tell me.”

  “I want to blow off the retreat, Jeremiah, all of it and just go do something fun.”

  “Then I think you should,” Summer said emphatically.

  Cindy laughed. “Great. Got any suggestions?”

  Summer looked at her, eyes narrowing slightly. “You know I might be able to come up with something fun. Let me see what I can do.”

  “Oh, please, yes. That would be fantastic.”

  Summer stood abruptly. “I’ve got to go take care of a few things. Tell you what, though. I’ll check in with you after dinner.”

  “Okay. I’ll probably be here until then.”

  “Great. Take it easy, and try to relax a little. No one’s going to bother you here. You should have the place to yourself for a couple of hours at the very least.”

  “Thanks,” Cindy said.

  Summer left and as Cindy laid back down she hoped that by the end of the day someone would be approaching her with a poker invitation. She figured that she should at least give it a few minutes before she packed up and headed back to the bungalow, just in case Summer hadn’t gone that far away.

  After about five minutes had passed she opened her eyes as she debated about going inside. She was surprised to see Jeremiah heading toward her wearing swim trunks and a short-sleeved button down shirt and carrying a towel of his own.

  He laid his towel down next to hers and then sat down on it. “TK told me the session wouldn’t be useful to me without my partner present. I told him I was going to try and talk to you.”

  “So, people won’t be surprised to see you here.”

  “If anyone does.”

  “Summer came to see me. Arnold told her about the fight.”

  “Did she say anything?”

  “Not directly, but when she left she promised to try and find me something fun to do and that we’d talk after dinner. I all but asked her if she knew of any big poker games so if she doesn’t come back with something she’s either out of the loop completely or I managed to scare her off.”

  “I’m sure you were fine. I guess now we just have to wait and see. At least we can be comfortable for a while and we got out of that session.”

  He laid down, stretching out.

  She turned on her side to stare at him. “You know I must say that despite all the circumstances, this is very romantic.”

  “I guess,” he said.

  She reached out and touched his cheek and he turned to look at her.

  “You haven’t commented on my bikini,” she said.

  “It looks very nice.”

  Nice? Nice was not what she’d been going for.
She’d never owned a bikini in her life and it had taken all her courage to get and wear this one. It was black, it was tiny, and it had a dusting of little rhinestones. Nice was not a good answer, not with all the emotions that had been swirling around inside her.

  She leaned over and kissed him. After a couple of seconds he moved. “We shouldn’t be kissing in public,” he said.

  “Um, we’re supposed to be kissing here, even Dr. Carpenter thinks so. It’s even part of our cover. It’s weird if we don’t. And besides, this can barely be described as being public.”

  “Yes, but we shouldn’t get used to it. If we get used to kissing in public here then we might slip up back home.”

  “And that would be bad?” she questioned.

  “Yes.”

  She stood up abruptly. For a moment she thought of leaving, heading back to the bungalow, but he would just follow her. If she couldn’t be alone at the moment then they had some things they needed to work out.

  “Are you embarrassed to let others know that we have feelings for each other?” she asked.

  “Of course not.”

  “Well, you’re acting like you are.”

  He stood up and moved closer to her, lowering his voice a bit. “Once it’s out there for the world to know things are going to change.”

  “Yes. We won’t have to keep lying to everyone, and we could actually have a real relationship.”

  “It’s more than that. As my...girlfriend...you’re going to come under a lot of intense scrutiny from my congregation and yours. It could get uncomfortable.”

  “So?”

  He took a deep breath. “Cindy, it’s not too late to change your mind about me, about us.”

  And somehow that was the worst thing he could have said to her at the moment. The anger that she’d been struggling to hold back crashed down around her.

  “Do you regret what you said to me back in Jerusalem?”

  “No,” he said.

  “Have you changed your mind about your feelings for me?”

  “No.”

  “Prove it,” she said, her breath catching in her throat.