The Day I Lost You: A totally gripping psychological thriller

by Alex Sinclair

  “Alice,” I yell over the laughter, over the rain, over the pain of my existence. “Bunny, come back to me. I need you.”

  The water doesn’t stop filling the streets. An oversize wave comes crashing through the city, spilling across every surface, rolling cars and debris along its deadly path.

  I can’t stop the inevitable. Death is about to claim me.

  * * *

  A splash of water hits my face and wakes me up. I rub the liquid out of my eyes and see Gus standing over me with an empty glass. It doesn’t take long for me to work out where the water came from.

  “Are you okay?” Gus asks me.

  I scratch my head. “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Let me take a look. I’m just going to lean your body forward to check if there’s any blood coming from the back of your head.”

  I comply and let him inspect me. He finds nothing to fret about. A flood of memories all hit me at once as I remember Desmond shoving me firmly into the wall. “Alice,” I blurt out.

  “She’s not in there. He’s hidden her somewhere else. But don’t worry. Officer Mason is looking for Desmond as we speak. He chased him up the stairs. As soon as he apprehends the bastard, he’ll tell us where Alice is.”

  “How do you know? What if Desmond’s already hurt her—or worse? What if Mason has to shoot him and he never gets a chance to tell us?”

  Gus hold up his hands. “Hey, calm down, okay? The police will find Desmond. Desmond will give up Alice. Trust me.”

  I feel my lungs working overtime to take in tiny breaths of air and expel them just as quickly. How can he be so sure? How can he possibly know everything will be okay? I start to remember that Henry and Mrs. Stellar were around when Desmond shoved me over.

  “What about the old lady and Henry?”

  “Taken care of. Officer Mason sent her back inside with instructions not to come out until it is safe to do so. Henry went with Mason after Desmond.”

  “God,” I say, as I slump back against the wall Gus has me leaning on. A lot happened while I was out of it.

  “You just need to take it easy for a few minutes. You might have a concussion.”

  I ignore his words and start to stand up.

  “Erika, what did I just tell you?”

  I wave him off. “I’m not going to sit around here all day. We have to find her right now.” I brush myself off.

  He shakes his head at me. “Nothing’s going to stop you, is it?”

  I turn back to face him fully again. “I don’t have a choice. I have to save her.”

  Thirty-Eight

  Then

  Six months had passed since I’d left Michael. Alice and I had had our share of tough moments during that time. Michael came after me the next day with the police. They found us at a cheap hotel out of the city, but to Michael’s disgust, they couldn’t force me to come home. Instead, they moved me into some temporary housing until I found something better. Alice was being taken care of, so the matter of custody would have to be settled in court.

  When the judge said Michael could only visit once every two weeks, he lost it in court and had to be restrained. I tried to use that outburst to take away his biweekly visit, but Michael calmed down and apologized to the judge.

  I filed for a divorce as soon as I could, and Michael didn’t fight me on the decision. I reverted to my maiden name while I waited for the slow divorce procedure to go through, and Michael offered to give me money each week for Alice’s care before child support was demanded of him. He still thought he could influence her care from a distance. Despite my fears, he seemed to be doing the right thing for us all. I only hoped it would last and he wouldn’t try to force us back home.

  I didn’t want to rely on Michael’s money forever, so I knew I would need to return to working part-time to keep giving Alice what she needed. This meant I would need to enroll her in daycare.

  Before I found the right facility for my Bunny, I tried out a few places around my area that were within my budget. Once I found a job, I would need to put her in daycare three days per week, at the young age of only twelve months. It killed me to be away from her, but I had no choice. Michael’s child support had served me well, but I wanted to eventually break away from that dependence.

  I decided I’d rather return to admin work to make enough extra money to provide Alice with what she deserved. While I was trying to secure a job and a place for Alice, I was forced to rely on my neighbor to look after my Bunny so I could scout out an appropriate center.

  I came across a reasonable facility, only a ten-minute bus ride from my new apartment, which was way out of the city. It was nothing like the building she should have gone to in Brooklyn Heights, but those days were gone, with no chance of ever coming back.

  I had scheduled a tour with one of the managers at a center called Moorhall Family Daycare. It was bigger than the daycare in Brooklyn Heights, in a purpose-built building. I shook the manager’s hand as she welcomed me into the reception area.

  “Hello, Miss Rice. My name is Vina Schwartz. I am the manager here on Mondays to Wednesdays.”

  “Pleased to meet you,” I said, looking at the tall brunette and taking in her demeanor. She appeared to be in her late thirties and was wearing simple clothing—essential for wrangling dozens of children at once.

  “I suppose you’re dying to see the place. Shall we begin?”

  I nodded. “Yes, please.”

  We moved through a security door at the front of the building, designed to prevent children from escaping. I guessed it was also to prevent anyone from taking them, but that was a scenario I never imagined possible.

  “This is where Alice would take a nap if you decide to go with us,” Vina said. I gazed out at a sea of cots and toddler beds all crammed in together. As cute as they looked, I felt a pit in my stomach at the thought of Alice trying to take her nap in such a busy environment. What if she couldn’t fall asleep? Would her development be stunted as a result? Would her nighttime sleep be ruined? Dozens of questions entered my mind as I was shown to the next area.

  “And here we have one of the play areas designated for children aged twelve months to three years. We have one staff member per four children. Alice will spend her first few years in this room before she moves on up to the next area.”

  I gazed around at the room, which was well worn but obviously cared for. There were fun activities and educational toys for Alice to play with. I couldn’t fault any one thing about the space, other than the fact that Alice would be spending the next two years here, three days a week.

  I stumbled back and out of the room. Fortunately, we were moving quickly along on the tour. I was shown where the kids would eat and go to the toilet, as well as outside to see a few of the playgrounds reserved for different age groups.

  It was a beautiful facility, and the staff seemed warm and inviting. I really had no choice but to put Moorhall Family Daycare down as one of my top picks. This meant handing over a non-refundable deposit to secure a place, whether I selected the facility or not.

  Vina took me back to the reception area to start the process. I had arranged the tour over the phone and had yet to give them my full details and credit card information.

  “Okay, let’s get this underway,” Vina said. I gave her every detail needed to secure Alice a place within the next few weeks. The price was a little higher than the two other daycares I’d applied to, but it seemed to be worth the extra expense.

  “Alright. Now I just need to send this off to our system at HQ, and we’ll be all set.” Vina made a show of hitting the send button. Working with children as much as she did probably caused her to talk in an overenthusiastic way.

  Vina’s brows tightened as she leaned in closer to the screen. “That doesn’t seem right,” she said. “I’ll try again.” I heard her click a few buttons as she concentrated entirely too hard on the problem. “Oh.”

  “Oh?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”

  Vina cleared her throat. Her
forehead wrinkled as she moved her hand to her lips. Something was not right.

  “It appears to be some sort of automated response that won’t allow me to sign you up. This is quite odd. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

  “Okay,” I said, unsure what to make of her comment.

  “Tell you what,” Vina said, “why don’t you take a seat in our waiting room while I get this sorted with the director. I’m probably doing something wrong. But rest assured, Bernetta always knows the answer to these problems.” Vina smiled at me, but I saw her face drop the second she began to turn away from me. What was going on?

  I tried to remain calm as I walked out to the small waiting room near the reception area, where parents would wait for their children at the end of the day. It was another security measure the facility had in place.

  Why wasn’t their system allowing me to register? And why did Vina’s face drop? Something had given her reason to go straight to the director of the place. It didn’t make sense.

  I stared at the ground and bounced my legs up and down on the spot. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to block out the building anxiety I was prone to suffering from. If I didn’t calm down, it would push me over the edge.

  I kicked off my shoes and clenched my toes. I focused on my breathing as best I could, wishing I had a paper bag. After a few minutes, I began to calm down. Whatever the problem was, I would face it. I’d come this far on my own. Nothing could stop me now.

  Vina came back with who I assumed was Bernetta. I quickly put my shoes back on.

  Vina stared at me for a moment. “Unfortunately, Erika, we won’t be able to offer you a place here. I’m sorry.”

  “Why? What seems to be the problem?” I asked, as my eyes flicked between the two.

  They shared a quick look. “I’m sorry,” said Bernetta, “but we can’t help you.”

  “What? Clearly, this is some sort of mistake, right?”

  “We’re sorry, our system miscalculated, and we are actually fully booked.”

  “Fully booked?”

  “I’m afraid so,” Bernetta said. “Now, is there anyone we can call for you?”

  I stared around at the other staff members in the reception area. A lone parent was also nearby, waiting for their child. I felt a sting of embarrassment smack me in the face. Why was this happening? What had I done to be denied a place so quickly, and why were they asking if there was anyone they could call for me? The answer hit me a second later. How could I not see it?

  “This is because of my ex-husband, Michael, isn’t it?”

  Bernetta’s eyes betrayed her the second I said Michael’s name. She exchanged a look with Vina. “Why don’t I give him a call. He can come pick you up.”

  “You can’t be serious? I’m not going anywhere with him.” I didn’t realize at first, but I had risen to my feet. This caused the two daycare workers to back up a step.

  “That’s fine, but you will need to leave,” Bernetta said.

  “Leave? I’m not doing anything wrong!” My voice was rising, but I couldn’t help myself. What had Michael told these people about me?

  Bernetta and Vina backed away and gestured toward the exit. I flicked my eyes from one person to the next while my nostrils flared in and out with my breath. “This is some sort of mistake. It has to be. I’m just trying to find an adequate daycare center for my Bunny.”

  “We understand, Erika, but we can’t help you. Please leave right now, before this situation gets out of hand.”

  “Out of hand? What exactly do you think I’m going to do?” I asked, as I threw both of my hands up into the air. The waiting parent to my side didn’t move a muscle, as if they were hoping to not draw any attention to themselves.

  “We can discuss this further outside, if you’d like?”

  “No,” I said, as I shook my head. I wrapped both hands around my face. Had Michael really gone to this much effort to control where I enrolled Alice? I knew his money had power, but I never realized until then that he could influence and control my life from afar like this. I had no choice but to leave.

  “I’m leaving.” It took everything I had not to unload my every frustration on these people, but I realized it was not going to help in any way. I had to go.

  “Right this way,” Bernetta said. She gestured toward the set of double doors at the front of the reception area. I moved along a few steps and kept my eyes down and forward. I couldn’t help the next words out of my mouth.

  I turned my head toward them both and said, “You will be hearing from me about this.” I hit an exit button and walked through the double doors as they opened to the parking lot. I didn’t dare look back at the many people who would be watching my every move.

  How could Michael be so cruel? I realized at that moment that this wasn’t the first daycare center to reject my application. Two other facilities had given me excuses about capacity issues that I had believed to be true at the time. It was obvious now that it was all BS.

  Michael was out there, making it impossible for me to get the care Alice needed so that I could work. Was this all part of his plan to force us back home? Or was he slowly building toward something far worse?

  Thirty-Nine

  Now

  I decide to search through the apartment Desmond has been hiding in, despite what Gus has to say on the matter. Officer Mason is still in pursuit of Desmond. I can’t wait for any other officers to arrive and be filled in on the situation. Alice needs me now.

  I try to work out if Alice has been in here with him. There are no toys or pieces of paper with colorful drawings on them. There’s no mess and no bits of food left out.

  I can’t smell any traces of her in any of the rooms. My daughter’s clothing emanates a particular scent from the laundry powder I’ve used ever since she was born. Every time I catch a whiff of her fragrance, my mind flies back to her days as a baby rolling around on the floor, still trying to figure out what the world around her was all about.

  I don’t know if we ever truly understand the world we live in, especially some of the people that occupy it. How can there be so many monsters hiding in plain sight, like Michael and his recruited team? I shudder at the thought that Alice had been forced to share a space with Desmond for several hours. She didn’t deserve to be boxed in with a freak like that.

  “She’s not here,” Gus says.

  “I know. I’m just trying to work out if she ever was.”

  “What do you mean? Do you think he hid her somewhere else?”

  I turn to Gus. “It’s possible. Explains why he took off on his own.”

  Gus walks further around with one hand on his forehead. “This is getting messy. So where did he hide her then?”

  “She can’t be far. The location has to be on this floor. We were hot on his tail. We both saw her with him. It has to be one of these apartments. He could have put her in any one of the empty ones, using his key cards.”

  Gus stares at me in agreement, then his gaze becomes distant, as if a thought has claimed him.

  “What is it?”

  He blinks. “It’s probably nothing.”

  “Tell me. Please?” I step closer and give him a pathetic face, full of desperation.

  He scratches the back of his head and shifts on the spot. “Okay, there’s one possibility we haven’t considered yet.”

  “Which is?”

  “What if he sent her down the stairwell? We assumed he was headed for this floor with her. What if he sent her off on her own?”

  I let the possibility run through my head. Alice would keep going until she hit the ground floor. She would head out into the lobby. Henry was up here with Mason. What if she found it empty, with no adults around? No one would be there to help her. What would she do then?

  I stare back at Gus and shake my head. “He wouldn’t do that. It would put her in danger. Michael doesn’t want his daughter hurt. He just wants her taken away from me. He has for some time now. I hate to admit that, but
it’s true. During a recent visit, I could tell he left with a plot hatching in his brain. I didn’t realize that it was to remove Alice from my custody.”

  “Wow,” Gus says. “And I thought some of the people I know are messed up.”

  “Yep. So she has to be close. He would have locked her in an apartment to keep her both safe and away from me.”

  Gus crosses his arms and stares around the living room. A fine layer of dust coats every surface, except for the coffee table, which Desmond and his co-workers sometimes use. I wonder if Gus is one of those people that abuses the trust of the residents. Is he another corrupt individual that thinks they are above the rules? I think not.

  “I guess we’d better start searching for her then,” Gus said. “As you say, she can’t be far. We should start with the empty apartments. I doubt he would pick one that has anyone living in it.”

  “Hopefully not,” I say. “I can’t deal with another old woman handcuffing me to a radiator.”

  Gus chuckles. I return his positivity as best I can. Alice is close by. I can feel it. This apartment seems to radiate her location to me. I can tell in my heart she is near. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that this is where she is.

  “Come on,” Gus says. “Let’s save your daughter.” He heads for the door. I follow him, semi-reluctant to budge from the spot. It feels stupid to think that I can sense her location like I have superpowers, but I can’t ignore her presence. Still, I obey and go along with Gus.

  We search the empty apartments, starting with the ones furthest away from the elevator. It seems unlikely that Desmond would have reached any of them and then had enough time to run back to the apartment he chose to hide in, but we need to eliminate the possibility in case Alice escaped on her own.

  Each apartment is the same: empty spaces and their mirrored equivalents. I see the same layouts over and over, driving me to wonder how anyone can have an identity in this building, or in any other of the giant apartment complexes that exist in the neighborhood.