Never Let Go (The Storm Inside #4)

by Alexis Anne

  I knew it would do weird things to my head.

  “But you’re enjoying seeing more of Natalie?” I thought maybe a change of subject would do everyone some good.

  “Yes. Our lives have always been unconventional and I’m the first to admit that I wasn’t ready to be a dad, but I think this is the perfect time for our lives to converge.”

  The door opened again. This time it was Andrew, Jennie’s husband, that strode inside. “Room for one more?”

  “Always,” Greg said, waving him over.

  “Jennie needed a nap and I knew I couldn’t be quiet,” he explained.

  I always envied Andrew’s confidence. The man had known from the moment he met Jennie that he would fall in love with her. It wasn’t a question. And he was just as sure about the life they’d have together. Nothing seemed to faze him. Marriage hadn’t scared him, becoming a father had excited him. It was like the man only ever saw the positive in any situation.

  Sometimes, when I wasn’t sure what to do, I asked myself “What would Andrew do?” and went from there. He was even sure about my relationship with Eve. He’d barely met us before he pushed Eve into giving me a chance. Where did he get that confidence?

  “How’s country life?” I asked. They’d moved out of the city, closer to Lakeland, on five acres.

  “Good. We just finished the renovation on the last bathroom so the farm house is officially done.”

  “And the kids are happy?”

  He grinned. “We barely see them anymore. There is so much room to run around that they spend all their time outside now.”

  It seemed like the perfect time to dig around for some insight on the always-confident Andrew. “So, now that Greg’s getting married, what advice do you have for the man who never thought he’d get married?”

  He laughed. “You’ve been married longer than any of us. Shouldn’t you be giving him the advice?”

  I waved him off. “He’s already heard everything I have to say.”

  “Okay,” Andrew said, chewing on his lower lip. “There’s the usual: make her happy or she’ll make you miserable, learn to love romance or your sex life will suck, and of course, never stay angry. It’s not worth it.”

  All good advice. I’d given essentially the same words of wisdom. But I selfishly wanted more. If I was going to keep what Eve and I had alive until we were too old to do anything but hold hands and smile about the lives we’d led, then I needed more. So I gave in and asked my question point blank.

  “How do you do it, man? How do you just…” I waved my hand through the air, “go with the flow? You’re always happy.”

  Greg grunted. “You are freakishly happy all the time. What’s up with that?”

  Greg said it like being that happy was a bad thing, but damn did I want to feel that way.

  Andrew shrugged. “It’s the only option I give myself. Life moves forward no matter what. I learned that the hard way when my mom died. She was such a positive, happy person. And yet, she was gone. There was nothing we could do about it.”

  He leaned back in his chair and sighed, shaking his head. “Before she died she told me that she wanted me to be happy. That it was okay to miss her and it was even okay to feel really sad for a little while, but then I needed to take a breath and get back to my life. That the only thing she wanted was for me to live my life to the fullest and enjoy every second. She’d be there with me and that was how she wanted her memory to live on…through her kids having exceptional lives.”

  Greg cleared his throat and looked away. This was way too close to the things he struggled with every day. But Andrew didn’t let the conversation stop on such a heavy note. He kept going.

  “So no matter what happens I look for the next step. I focus on what I can do and what is good in any situation. And then I ask myself how I can make it even better. Like when I first met Jake and Eve and I thought they were a couple.”

  I grinned at the memory of Eve wringing her hands and getting all flustered. “I think I have you to thank for getting us together.”

  “Naw,” he shook his head. “You two were meant for each other. She would have come around eventually. I just gave her a little push.”

  That he did. Right into my arms on a hot, rainy afternoon. I adjusted slightly because the memories of that trip were far too sexy to ignore. “See, that’s just what I mean. It’s so black and white to you. We loved each other so we should be together. No doubts.”

  “Exactly. What did those doubts do for either one of you? Except waste more time? If you know what you want and what you should do, just fucking do it already.”

  “Like becoming a father at eighteen,” Brandon murmured. “If I’d just accepted it and learned to love the life I’d made, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time with Natalie. I could have been a lot happier a lot sooner. Being angry and full of regret didn’t do Natalie or Marie any good.”

  Greg still didn’t look back, but he nodded.

  I was the worst Best Man ever. Instead of keeping Greg relaxed and happy, I’d walked him straight down Grief Lane.

  “Okay, boys. It’s time for the groom to get ready.” I couldn’t take back what I’d accidentally done, but I sure could clean up the mess I’d made.

  “Good luck, man,” Andrew said with a clap on Greg’s back.

  “Best of luck,” Brandon smiled. “I really do mean that.”

  I pushed the door closed and went straight to the scotch. “You can punch me anywhere, even the face.”

  He laughed. “I’m not going to punch you. It isn’t your fault that I’m a sad fuck. I think at this point I’ve decided it’s actually part of my DNA.”

  He probably had a point. “Still, talking about death and grief when you’re about to get married is not the way to go.”

  “I love them both. Jennifer and Marie. It’s different, but it’s not.”

  “I know,” I said because I honestly didn’t know what else to say. I hadn’t lost someone I loved.

  “I’m actually kind of glad that conversation just happened.” He took the scotch and tossed it back. “I can’t get married without having Jenn here with me, too.” He rubbed his chest. “And I was having trouble with it. I was sitting here just before you came in trying to think about her, but it was making me crazy.”

  “Why?”

  He shook his head a little. “I couldn’t feel her. I was scared that I’d done something stupid and forgotten how to remember her. I never want to forget her, but I’m marrying Marie,” he sighed. “It’s all so fucking complicated and I don’t know how to deal with any of it. But Andrew said all the right things and now I feel straight with Jenn and the universe.”

  Thank goodness for small miracles. I could tell by the relief on Greg’s face that he meant everything he said. “All right then.”

  He nodded. “But, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be by myself for a little bit. I have some things to say and some people I want to call before I walk down the aisle.”

  “You’ll get me if you need anything?”

  And just like that, the old Greg was back. He smirked. “If I need anything it won’t be your sorry ass. I’ll call Eve.”

  Which was actually a much better idea. Greg and I were friends, but Eve got that softer side of Greg that he preferred to keep hidden. If he needed help on today of all days, it was most likely Eve who would the one to fix it.

  “I’ll be back in an hour.”

  “And I’ll be ready.”

  15

  EVE

  “You’re more beautiful to me every day, you know that right?” Jake murmured from the bed. We were in our hotel room getting ready for Greg and Marie’s wedding. I was standing in front of the mirror putting the last touches on my hair and makeup.

  I rolled my eyes. “Could you be any cheesier?”

  He rolled his eyes right back. “Maybe it sounded cheesy but when a man sees his woman looking at herself in the mirror the way I just caught you looking at yourself, it is his job and
duty to remind her what he sees.”

  Okay, that was incredibly sweet.

  “I’m still learning to love the aging process,” I sighed. Between two pregnancies and a busy career I’d already seen my share of changes on my skin and hair, but it didn’t make it any easier to look in the mirror and see the differences.

  It was so, so weird what the body does.

  “Really?” Jake asked, sounding surprised for some reason. Did he not know that all women worried about looking old?

  “Yes, really. I’m not grey and wrinkly yet but my boobs—” I lifted them up in my dress, “are not where they used to be and my cheeks—” I pointed at the spot where my skin was softer that it used to be, “look like my mother’s now.”

  Jake lifted a brow. “Have you not noticed the grey in my hair? At least you don’t have that.”

  Had I noticed? I gave him a closer inspection. Sure enough…Jake had a smattering of grey mixed in with his dark brown locks. “Huh. When did that happen?”

  He shrugged. “Not sure.” He took advantage of my proximity and pulled me down into his lap. “But none of it matters. You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and you always will be. I like that you aren’t the same as when we first met. We were really young.”

  Eighteen and naïve but with really amazing hair. “You don’t want my tight perky breasts back?” I laughed, but realized as soon as the sound escaped my mouth that it was a lie. I wasn’t carefree or making a joke—I was genuinely worried that Jake wouldn’t lust after me when we were older. That we’d lose the spark.

  “May I?” He raised his hand to my dress.

  I was all ready to head downstairs, but I gave him a nod. I’d already stepped right into a steaming pile of emotions, why not go crazy and let him open my dress?

  He slowly slid the side zipper down on my soft yellow strapless sundress, then folded the front forward, exposing my breasts. He palmed them, massaging and groaning in the back of his throat. “Babe? How could you ever doubt how I feel about these? You know how much I love your breasts.”

  It was true. Jake worshipped them.

  He looked up and into my eyes. “They are the perfect size to fit in my hands. They are small enough that you still go braless under sundresses,” he groaned appreciatively, “and sensitive enough that when I do this,” he gently sucked my right nipple into his mouth and swirled his tongue. As if by command my core clenched and I wrapped my hand around Jake’s bicep to steady myself. I moaned without thinking anything beyond yes. He pulled back and grinned. “You respond like that.”

  “I’m sorry. What were we talking about?” I still had my eyes closed. Could we skip the wedding and spend the day in bed? Max and Sam were with June downstairs rehearsing their march down the aisle. She could keep them, right?

  Jake chuckled. Then he used his index finger to trace along my skin. “I don’t notice whether they are as ‘perky’ as they used to be. I see how beautiful they are. I remember every amazing thing we’ve done together. I remember the children we made while I gave you pleasure. I see the life you brought into my world. These stretch marks?” He kissed the jagged white lines that I received as a gift of suddenly having enormous breasts at the end of my pregnancy with Sam. “They are beautiful. They’re a part of you and the life we’ve lived together. So don’t for one second think that I will ever look at you—any part of you—and see anything but love.” Then he bit his lip and grinned. “And lust. God, woman. I will still want to hump you when we’re a hundred. I can promise you that.”

  The mental image of our bodies tangled together forever was beautiful. “I like the sound of that.”

  “Me too. I like moving forward. I don’t ever want to go backward. And I love that we’re doing it together.”

  Fuck. He was so damn sweet I couldn’t stand it. A little tear formed in the corner of my eye. “I love you.”

  “Oh darlin’,” he kissed the corner of my eye, stealing my tear. “You’re not supposed to cry until Greg does.”

  And then I laughed. Jake could take away my fears, make me feel loved and lusted after, then make me laugh all in the span of a few minutes. He was magical.

  “My money is still on both of them crying the minute the minister starts talking.” Beneath all of Greg’s bluster and gruffness was the most emotional man I’d ever met. That was probably why he hid under so many layers.

  “Really?” he asked. “I don’t think Marie is going to cry at all. I think she’s going to be like you.”

  “Me?”

  He bounced his eyebrows and zipped my dress back up. “I remember every second of our wedding day and you, my love, never stopped smiling.”

  WE WERE BOTH WRONG. Greg beamed through the entire ceremony while Marie sniffled, but never actually cried. Then she beamed through the entire reception and Greg kept sniffling—and even went to full-on tears during his toast. I blame Jake for that. The man had a way with words and poor Greg was a sitting duck.

  The ceremony took place under the shade of palm trees. Max glided down the aisle throwing rose petals like fairy dust. She even twirled at the end, her little ringlets bouncing and glinting in the sun. She was definitely going to be my outgoing child.

  Sam followed right behind her in a far too grown up looking yellow dress. Instead of ringlets her hair had waves like mine. When did that happen? She smiled at everyone, then twirled just like her sister.

  Maybe not so old after all.

  Marie’s daughter, Natalie, walked her mother down the aisle. She was nearly as tall as her mother and wore a beautiful light blue dress.

  Beside her, Marie wore white. It was a simple, low cut, sexy spaghetti strap dress that was perfect for a beachside wedding but still high-end enough that it was very clearly a formal gown for a special day.

  Greg stood beside the minister in gray slacks and a yellow shirt that matched the one Jake was wearing. He wore a jacket to match his slacks, but no tie. The minute he laid eyes on his bride his whole face lit up.

  Greg came to life the day he met Marie. We all knew something had changed and it didn’t take long for us to realize they were meant to be together. Where Marie was wary, Greg was bold confidence. Where Greg was gruff, Marie was soft. They just…fit. It was a beautiful thing to see them come together as a family.

  Cocktails were served on the patio and the reception took place on the beach pavillion. Large grills were covered in clams and oysters steaming under burlap sacks. Crab, shrimp, and fish were served in every imaginable combination. Laughter and stories filled the air. It was a perfect day just as it was.

  Then the speeches started.

  Jake stood in front of the group with a beer in his hand. He stared at it while the silence settled around us. “I thought I was alone in the world. I had no family, no friends, and I was too messed up to matter to anyone.”

  Max and Sam were busy building a sandcastle, not paying any attention to their father’s story. I watched them innocently playing with the shells and sticks they gathered and said a silent prayer of thanks that Jake found his way back to me.

  “And then I met Greg,” Jake said. “And I found a brother. Life is so much fuller when it’s shared. He taught me that. I am very grateful that after a lot of fighting and denial, he allowed me to return the favor. This guy is…well we all know he’s a loveable lug who doesn’t know just how much he means to each of us. He’s special and so are Marie and her daughter, Natalie. They’ve made our little ragtag family complete. May your lives be as filled with love as mine has been with Eve. Thank you, Greg, for everything you’ve given me, and thank you Marie, for everything you’ve given Greg.”

  I may have gotten a bit teary eyed during his speech, and I definitely cried a little when Jake wrapped his strong arms around me and nuzzled his nose into my neck.

  “Beautiful speech.”

  “Thank you, darlin’.” He nuzzled in deeper.

  Then Greg stood up, rubbing his face.

  “Is Greg…?” I g
asped.

  “Yep,” Jake said with a nod. “He is.”

  Wow. I never thought I’d see the day Greg cried, but there he was, sniffling into a glass of Knob Creek as he attempted to thank everyone for coming.

  “If you’re here, you’re family. We planned this day with love and friendship in mind. Marie and I didn’t find each other early in life, but that means we really understand how important and valuable it is to love each other to the fullest. Life is just starting for us. Marie, babe, thanks for waking me the hell up and giving me the most amazing daughter a man could ask for. The two of you are the light of my life and I’m the luckiest fuck that ever lived.”

  Greg had a special way with words. He made the foulest language sound sweet. I nestled closer to the man who made me the luckiest fuck that ever lived.

  “See?” he whispered in my ear, sending a cascade of tingles down my spine. “We’re not getting older,” he nipped my earlobe and shot a jolt of electricity straight to my core, lighting my entire body on fire for him, “we’re still getting started.”

  16

  EVE

  Everything was lovely for the rest of the summer. The Rays were winning more than they lost, Josh and I fell into a rhythm of trading off stressful responsibilities, and the girls each grew an inch. Which meant Sam needed entirely new clothes for first grade.

  But more importantly, Jake and I were fine. The Senator’s campaign kicked off without any mention of us, and no reporters had come sniffing down dead-end trails. We worked, enjoyed the Florida summer, and loved each other in every way possible.

  Things were quietly wonderful. Too quiet.

  “I can pick up the order from the store on my way back from lunch if you want.” Zoe offered.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin your afternoon.” Standing in back-to-school lines could put anyone in a bad mood.

  “Totally. I’m in creative mode so I’m going to be doing all my errands with my headphones on anyway. I won’t even notice the crowds.”

  Sam had tiny little hips and preferred a skinny cut of shorts that I could only find at one store. I bought as many pairs as I could and had them shipped direct to the store just in time for school on Monday. Nothing like cutting it close.