by Toni Aleo
He shook his head. “No, I need to go and do it in person.”
She slowly nodded her head. “Okay, we’ll go.”
“Thanks, babe.”
“Always,” she said slowly, looking down and sucking in a deep breath.
He eyed her, and he knew something seemed off. “You sure you are okay?”
She nodded, looking back up at him. “Just really tired and I miss you.”
“I miss you more,” he promised, holding the phone closer. “Show me some boob.”
“Jordie!” she scolded and he laughed as she fought her grin. When she pulled her shirt up suddenly, both her tits on the screen, he slowly nodded his head.
“Mm, can’t wait to get home.”
“Me either,” she said, her eyes watering up, and that surprised him.
“You’re being weird.”
“I don’t like being away from you,” she said as a tear slowly fell. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. “I’m fine.”
“Going to your AA meetings?”
“I went to one yesterday, and I’ll go again tomorrow. Might make Benji go with me. Roommate bonding and shit,” he said and Benji nodded as Kacey smiled.
“Good, the email didn’t bother you too much, did it?”
He shrugged. “Kinda, but nothing I can’t handle.”
She worked her lip, letting out a long breath. “Okay, well, call me if you need me. I’m dead on my feet.”
He nodded. “Okay, baby, I’ll call you in the morning. I’m gonna finish my dinner and start Game of Thrones with Benji.”
She grinned. “Sounds like fun, talk to you tomorrow then.”
“Love you.”
“Love you more,” she said, and she waved before the screen went black and she was gone. Something really did seem off, but he wasn’t sure what it was. It was hard to push for info when they were so far apart. He was ready to get home, but he still had five days before he would be able to.
“You’re lucky to have her,” Benji said from his bed, pausing the TV.
“I know,” Jordie agreed.
“And she obviously loves you,” he said slowly and Jordie nodded.
“Yeah, she does, as do I.”
“Then don’t let your mom fuck it up,” he said sternly. “Let her go because she will ruin you, dude.”
“It’s harder than it sounds,” he said slowly, but Benji shook his head.
“It’s not. Look deep inside of you, and if you can write down three reasons why you need to keep her, then do it. But if you can’t, then let her go,” he said before opening the drawer in the side table and grabbing a pen and paper. Throwing them to Jordie, he said, “And if you can find three reasons to keep her, make a list of the things that need to change, and then give them to her. If she can’t change them, let her go.”
Jordie looked down at the piece of paper and then back at Benji. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “I have so many lists that I make for every person I form a relationship with. It’s something Richie taught me, and it’s worked for me.”
“So I have a list on me?”
Benji grinned as he shrugged. “Yeah, and you made the cut.”
Jordie shot him back a grin as he reached for the pen. Looking up to see if Benji was watching him, he found that he wasn’t. He was watching TV, and when Jordie looked back down, he sucked in a breath.
He could do this. His pencil shook as he wrote, but even he didn’t believe what he wrote. Or at least he thought the reasons meant enough to go through the pain she put him through.
I love her.
She gave me life.
Staring at the piece of the paper, he smacked his pen to it and shook his head. He couldn’t come up with a three. Staring at the paper, he read one and two again, and then slowly crossed out one. He didn’t love her. He couldn’t. She gave him no reason to love her. Before, he’d told himself it was love. But really, that was because he was a kid and she was all he knew. He didn’t have a dad, didn’t have someone who could show him love. But then he met Karson, his family, and ultimately, Kacey.
Because of them, he knew real love—true, undeniable love.
The kind of love that people die for.
And Stacey Thomas did not deserve that love.
Especially not from him.
Holding the puck behind the Stars’ net, Jordie looked to Karson, who was watching with him, waiting for the puck. An offenseman was waiting for him to go but, acting as if he was going to pass it, he deked it to the other side, going around the net, sending it hard up to Erik who was waiting at the line. As he carried it into the zone, Jordie skated hard to catch up, crossing the blue line with Karson. As Karson shot, it was knocked away. Anderson and Titov fought for it in the corner as Baylor waited in the slot. Finally getting it out, Erik shot it over to Karson, who took the shot. But it was quickly rebounded right to Baylor. She had no shot, but Jordie would. She sent it back to Jordie, he deked around two offensemen, but just as he was about to shoot, a defenseman tripped him, the puck hitting the goalie’s shoulder as Jordie went face first into the goal, the post smacking him right between his neck and shoulder. Looking up, he groaned.
Fuck. It didn’t go in.
Pain shot down his shoulder, his neck throbbing as he got up slowly, and Karson came to make sure he was okay. He could hear Coach screaming, even Erik, and when he realized the whistle was blown for a penalty against him for high-sticking the dick that tripped him, he was screaming too.
“Are you serious?”
“High stick,” the ref yelled as he went for center ice, but Jordie followed.
“My stick went up because the douche tripped me!”
“Fucking pussy,” the guy called, but Jordie ignored him.
“No, you high-sticked him before you fell.”
“No! Fucking horseshit fucking call!” Jordie screamed, throwing his hands up. “Man, if I’d known you needed your dick sucked before the game for a decent call, I would have hired someone!”
The ref glared as he called the penalty, and Jordie headed into the box. Sitting down, Jordie glowered, watching as his team fought to keep the Stars from scoring. Tate was doing ninja goalie moves, smacking everything away, the boys clearing the zone every chance they got. They killed off the penalty, and when the time ran down, Jordie broke out of the box just as Erik sent it along the boards. Getting control of the puck, Jordie rushed the goal, the goalie coming out to stop him. But, taking a page out of Kacey’s book, Jordie deked to the left, then the right, confusing the hell out of the goalie, and then shot top shelf, getting the goal.
Hell. YES.
It was his first goal of the year.
And it felt damn good.
“Baby, you see my goal? That was for you,” Jordie boasted as Kacey grinned back at him.
“You mean, you stole my move and knew you had to dedicate the goal to me?” she teased and he nodded.
“Exactly.”
“Great goal, nonetheless. I’m proud of you,” she said with a bright grin, her eyes locked on his. He hated that this was the only way he could see her. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, but thankfully, only two more days.
“Thanks, sugar thighs.”
She sent him a grin. “How’s your shoulder?”
He pulled his shirt down, showing her that he had one hell of a nasty bruise along his neck and shoulder. It hurt, but the scans said nothing was broken, and when they offered him pain meds, he declined. He actually felt sort of badass and extremely proud of himself.
Looking at the screen, she grimaced and said, “Ouch.”
“Yeah, wish you were here to kiss it better.”
“Me too,” she agreed, moving her hand through her hair. He loved how long it was getting. It’d be to the middle of her back in no time.
“I said no to the pain meds,” he said and her face lit up.
“’Cause you’re badass.”
“Very true,” he agreed, the pride bursting inside of him. M
eeting her gaze, he asked, “Hey, you still miss me?”
She nodded as she looked down. “A lot.”
“Good.” She grinned up at him and he shot her one back. “You look tired. You all right?”
She laughed. “Is that the way you tell me I look like shit?”
“No, brat, you just look beat. Wanna call me back?”
She shook her head. “No, I miss you and haven’t spoken to you much today.”
“Yeah, sorry. I had AA and then Elli found me a therapist to go talk to today.”
That sparked her interest as she sat up, taking the phone with her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” he said confidently. “Few nights ago, Benji told me to make a list of three reasons why I needed my mom in my life. I could only come up with one, and it’s been weighing heavy on my heart. So Elli called this morning, asking how I was doing, and I told her about it and she found me someone to go talk to.”
She nodded slowly, her eyes looking down as she picked at her sweatpants. “And it went well?”
“Yeah, I think I’m ready to face her.”
“Awesome,” she said, but Jordie felt like there was more she wanted to say.
“And?”
She shrugged, looking up at him. “You could have talked to me… No, wait, never mind. That makes me an asshole to say that, and I don’t mean it. I’m glad you went. I just miss you, and I feel like we aren’t that close when you are gone.”
When her eyes filled with tears and she looked away, his heart lurched in his chest. “Baby,” he said softly and she shook her head.
“Ignore me. I’m on a whole other level right now.”
“Sugar thighs, we are still very close and I miss you so much,” he said to reassure her. “I know I could have talked to you, but you are one-sided, y’know? You hate my mom with good reason, and I know what you would say. I wanted the opinion of someone who doesn’t know her.”
“Yeah, I know,” she said slowly, wiping her face. She waved him off. “I’m just tired, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said quickly, his eyes searching hers. He wanted nothing more than to reach through the phone and pull her into his arms. He could tell she was struggling, which he was too. For the last couple of months, it had been just the two of them, and now it was only her. In a huge house, by herself, when she never had lived alone before.
“So the therapist did help?” she asked, wiping her face, and he nodded.
“Yeah, baby, she did. She was nice,” he said and she smiled.
“I’m glad.”
“Are you okay?” he asked and she shrugged.
“Yeah, I am. Like I said, just tired.”
But he felt like it was something more. “Talk to me, baby.”
She leaned on her hand, wiping her face and then sucking in a deep breath. “I’m lonely.”
He figured, and as his lips curled, he said, “I’ll be home in two days, and I promise I’ll do you in the car.”’
She giggled, which was what he wanted, her face breaking into a grin as she let her head fall back, laughing. “There’s my smile,” he said and she glanced back at the phone and smiled wider.
“It sucks you being gone, like really.”
“I know,” he agreed and she looked away.
“I’ve actually been thinking a lot, and what do you think of me opening a gym?”
He made a face, surprised by her statement. “Don’t you have those interviews with Bellevue?”
She nodded. “And I’m gonna go. But I’ve been training the Assassins’ wives and it’s so much fun. I love it.”
“Then do it,” he said quickly. “Anything that makes you happy, I’m down for.”
She smiled. “Yeah, I’m still considering it.”
“You should do it. Talk to Lacey, she’s good with that stuff. Business and all.”
She chewed on her lip, thinking for a moment. “Yeah, maybe I will. I’m gonna see her tomorrow.”
“Good, let me know what happens.”
“Of course, I will,” she promised and then she looked up. “So we are still going to dinner with your mom?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna give her a chance to be in my life, and if she doesn’t want it, then I’m gone.”
She nodded and he could tell she didn’t think his mom deserved even that much, which she didn’t. “Well, you know how I feel about it.”
He grinned. “Yeah, I do.”
“Well, then I guess I’ll prepare myself not to punch her in the throat, no matter how much I want to.”
“Yeah, hold that in,” he laughed. “I don’t want to bail you out of jail when I need to be investing in Gym Khaos, with K, of course,” he said with a wink and she grinned big.
“You do love me, huh?” she said sweetly, batting her lashes, and he nodded.
“More than you know,” he admitted. “So much more.”
As her eyes lit up and a grin spread across her whole face, he knew he could never love her enough.
There wouldn’t be enough time.
He’d need at least seven lifetimes, but since he only had one, he wouldn’t stop until that smile never left her lips.
“I forgot my darn flip-flops,” Lacey complained as she met Kacey in front of the nail shop. “Did you bring yours?”
Kacey shook her head, her fingers wringing together as her heart pounded in her chest. Ever since she’d sat on the toilet in her bathroom and watched as the word PREGNANT came up on the pregnancy test, her heart hadn’t slowed. To say she was elated and surprised was an understatement, but she was already scared out of her mind. She sort of felt bipolar, because one minute she was ecstatic, couldn’t wait to tell Jordie and get ready for a new baby. Then the next, she was curled up in a ball, worried that not only was Jordie not going to be able to handle a new baby, based on what Lacey said, but also that this was the second time she had gotten pregnant on her IUD. That couldn’t be good for the baby, and what if she lost this one too?
What if she couldn’t have children?
“It’s okay, we aren’t even going to the salon,” Kacey said before walking toward her OB-GYN, which happened to be right next door to the nail salon.
Lacey’s face warped in confusion as she looked at Kacey expectantly. “What the hell? You said girls’ day, Elli is watching Mena, I need my feet done, and why are we going to the OB-GYN… Oh my God, you’re pregnant?” she asked and Kacey rolled her eyes as she went through the door.
“Apparently. Come on,” she said, still not a hundred percent sure the nine home pregnancy tests she took were right. It seemed a little unreal, but yet she was still puking her brains out and now finally, her boobs were hurting. She knew that she was, but a part of her was in denial.
“Seriously? You took a test?”
She nodded as she went up to the desk, signing in. “Yup, nine positives and my tits started hurting.”
“Oh, shit.”
That was one thought Kacey had.
“Jesus, Jordie’s sperm is strong as hell,” Lacey commented as they went to sit down after Kacey had checked in.
“Agreed,” she said, her knee bouncing. “I don’t think I am though.”
“Liar,” Lacey laughed. “You know you are. I can see it on your face.”
“Okay, yeah,” she said with a nod, and then a smile crept up on her face. “I’m really excited but scared out of my mind.”
Lacey threaded her fingers with Kacey’s. “It’s gonna be fine.”
Kacey shot her a look. “A couple days ago you were singing a different tune.”
She shrugged. “A couple days ago we weren’t sure. Now we are, and now we will be fine.”
The way she said that, it almost seemed as if she meant her and Kacey, which was confusing. Was she already counting Jordie out? Holding Lacey’s gaze, she asked, “You still don’t think he’ll be able to handle this?”
Lacey looked away, sucking in a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But if he can’t, I got you,
” she promised before squeezing Kacey’s hand.
Leaning back in the chair, Kacey bit her lip as she waited. The news of her pregnancy came as a shock, it really did. And while this was both something she and Jordie wanted, it felt almost too good to be true. As most of their whirlwind romance had been. Biting hard on her lip, she couldn’t imagine losing this baby. It would devastate both of them, and what if it made him relapse? Closing her eyes, she prayed that wouldn’t happen, and then she scolded herself for thinking it at all. This was her second chance. She had a man who loved her, and they wanted this.
It would be fine.
“Kacey King?”
Hearing her name, she shot up, her hand hitting her thigh from where Lacey was still holding it as she sat waiting. Standing up, Lacey shot her a grin and squeezed her hand.
“It’s okay.”
No, it wasn’t.
But not even ten minutes later, her new doctor, Dr. Richards, said, “Yay, we’re having a baby!”
It took her a minute to get over how hot her doctor was before she realized that he had confirmed what she already knew. Lacey looked over at her and smiled happily as Kacey slowly nodded her head.
“But I have an IUD in.”
His brow quirked as he looked down at her records, and then he shook his head. “In my paperwork, you don’t.”
“Excuse me?”
He smiled. “Yeah, they said they removed it after your miscarriage, and you would come in at a later time to have it put back in.”
Holy shit. She hadn’t had an IUD in for this long and didn’t even know it? Wait, oh shit, she didn’t. She had started practicing for the Olympics with the rest of Team USA and forgot to go back. Crap on a cracker! Thank God, she never had sex with anyone! As she stared into Dr. Richards’s sky blue eyes, she almost couldn’t believe it. Was this a sign from God? Did she not have sex with anyone because she was supposed to be with Jordie? He was supposed to get her pregnant, and then they’d live happily ever after?
Why was that all too hard to believe?
“But I’ll check to make sure,” he said, sitting on his stool before sliding between her legs. “Lie back and be calm.”
“I’m pregnant,” she said slowly as his hands moved between her legs. She always felt dirty during her visit with the OB-GYN, but today, she wasn’t even worried about him. “Really pregnant?