Dirty Bad Boys Box Set: Forbidden Romance Collection

by Kat T. Masen

  “Ha-ha,” she responds sarcastically. “Stop saying ‘fisted.’ It’s weird.”

  I jump off the stool and grab her arm. We need to get out here. Now.

  “Let’s go home,” she says, defeated, dragging her heels.

  “Only if you’ll fuck me.”

  She shuts me down immediately. “No.”

  “C’mon, I just need... you know—”

  “You want a rebound. Someone to take your mind off her?”

  And for once in my life, I finally understand what it’s like to be on the other side. To be in so much pain you’ll do anything you can to erase it. Even if it means fucking someone else. But Kate isn’t just someone else. She’s been with me since day one. Always by my side and knows the real me. Maybe I love her but don’t know it. And perhaps if I fucked her properly just one time, I’d know if it was love.

  “C’mon, promise I’ll get hard this time. Look…” I place her hand on my dick. “See?”

  She removes her hand and takes me outside to the car and she attempts to open the door. I place my body against hers and slide my hand up the side of her ribcage, whispering in her ear, “Please, Kate, let me fuck you. I promise you’ll forget about him.”

  I know she has her own reasons as to why she’s hurting. And I’m an asshole for using that as a way to relieve my own pain. But I don’t fucking care anymore. I purely want to forget Morgan’s name.

  My vision may be blurred but Kate stops for a moment and watches me with vacant eyes. I can see it—her hurt reflects mine.

  “Okay, Noah. Let’s go.”

  ***

  I roll over to my side, my head pounding to the beat of a drum. No, wait, it is actually drums. Argh, that damn drum set. I throw my pillow over my head until there’s a knock on my door. Amelia walks in carrying a bottle of water and two white pills. She turns around to look at Charlie who encourages her to hand them to me.

  “Uncle Noah, Mommy says take this happy medicine to make you feel better.”

  I take it off her, swallowing it in one go. Amelia runs out of the room leaving Charlie behind. She sits on the edge of my bed with a worried expression.

  “I heard what happened.”

  I throw my head back onto the pillow. “From Kate?”

  She nods her head. “It’s okay to be angry. I know I would be.”

  I close my eyes, wishing this nightmare away. “Am I that stupid I didn’t see the signs? I pride myself on knowing how to read women. God, that’s how I managed to get through these years without being tied down in a relationship.”

  “You’re not stupid,” she tells me. “When you’re infatuated with someone, you can barely think straight. It’s like a whirlwind of emotions where nothing makes sense and you’re being taken on this wild ride that consumes every part of you.”

  Her theory makes sense. I saw the signs, but I chose to ignore them, thinking it was nothing more than my wild imagination. And I didn’t press on for fear of losing her. Stupid as it may seem, it was never my intention.

  “Charlie,” I say softly, afraid to admit the truth. “Am I in love with her?”

  “I don’t know, Noah. Only you can answer that.”

  “But I don’t even know what that feels like. And I’ve only known her for three weeks. How can you fall in love with someone after three weeks? Isn’t that too soon?”

  She smiles, toying with the wedding band on her finger. “I don’t think there’s a set time. Sometimes it’s love at first sight and other times it takes a while for you to fall in love. Just go with your gut.”

  “My gut doesn’t fall in love,” I tell her. “It preys on broken women looking for a rebound. Just like Kate. Oh my God... Kate,” I bury my head in my hands. “Did I... you know... with her... last night?”

  Charlie stands up. “I don’t know, Noah. The two of you were awfully chummy on the patio but Lex was the one who brought you guys in.”

  “Noah,” she continues, keeping her voice low. “I don’t know what’s going on with Morgan. I like her, I really do. But you need to remember she has a family. A husband and a son.”

  “I know, Charlie,” I respond with a bitter taste in my mouth. “My morals tell me to walk away. You’ve been played and karma is a goddamn bitch.”

  She leans in and kisses my forehead, staring back at me with her big brown eyes. “Karma may be a bitch, but sometimes, she’s your best friend.”

  “So you think karma is a woman, too?” I laugh.

  “Hell, yeah,” she laughs along. “Only women would have mood swings like that.”

  ***

  I promise myself that I will try my utmost to forget about Morgan and throw myself into my work. It doesn’t help that my work’s all about Scarlett Winters.

  Scarlett called me yesterday but I ignored it, too busy drinking again and trying to forget about my ninety-nine problems. That was all before lunchtime.

  Under Charlie’s instructions, Lex babysat me, taking us golfing. He admitted that he hated the sport, much like myself, but practiced since most business meetings these days were on the golf course.

  And Lex was just the right person to be with. He didn’t discuss relationships or women, we spent most of the afternoon chatting about Black Mamba and the Lakers.

  When we arrived home, Mom had cooked my favorite meal—chicken curry.

  Mom knew not to question me in the state of mind I was in. Instead, she offered her ear whenever—or if ever—I was ready to talk about it. It was getting on my nerves that everyone thought I was so fragile. I was over it. Morgan was nothing but a good time for a couple of weeks. The more I kept telling myself that the bigger the lie in my head became.

  I’ve only been in the office for an hour and my mind won’t shut down. It’s bugging me that I don’t recall what happened with Kate and she hasn’t bothered to call me. She’s staying with another friend in LA and didn’t return to Charlie’s yesterday. I decide to call her and ease my troubled mind.

  “Hey,” she answers oddly.

  “I knew it,” I say, angry at myself.

  “Knew what?”

  “We fucked. That’s why you didn’t answer the phone in your annoying ‘wazzup.’”

  She chuckles softly, releasing a long sigh. “Uh no, I didn’t answer that way... it’s just things are awkward.”

  “I’m sorry, Kate. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “Noah,” she interrupts. “We didn’t have sex.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. We fooled around, we kissed. You talked on and on about anal fisting which completely killed my buzz. And then, well, soldier wouldn’t come to the party. A huge letdown, excuse the pun.”

  I place my cell on my forehead—this shit just gets worse and worse. “Jesus. I’m sorry. For everything.”

  “You were upset. I get it. I was upset for you and for myself. It was just a bad night all ‘round. I wanted to forget everything as much as you. And you know what?”

  “What?”

  “My nympho is dating someone,” she says in a hurt voice. “I found out from someone. So apparently he dates, just not me.”

  “If I ever meet him, I swear, Kate…” I threaten, angry that this guy has the audacity to repeatedly hurt Kate emotionally.

  “I know, you’ll punch his balls and shove them up his ass.” She sighs. “Life goes on, I guess.”

  “I guess,” I say, unsure.

  I lean my chair back, tilting my head back until I’m staring at the ceiling. It’s nothing but all white. A blank canvas that calms me for only a moment. The creak of my door alarms me, and I pull myself forward and see Morgan standing at the entrance.

  “Kate, I have to go,” I tell her, hanging up the phone and placing it on my desk. Morgan closes the door behind her and continues to stand in the same spot. She looks terrible, dark circles behind her glasses. Even her hair doesn’t look as neat as it usually does.

  Although she looks like death has found her, she�
��s still the most beautiful woman in my eyes.

  And I hate that.

  I should be looking at her with complete contempt and disgust right now.

  “I guess I deserve that and am not surprised Kate was the one you ran to.”

  I keep silent.

  “I came here to talk to you. To explain what happened.” She tries to control her tone, remaining still.

  “You can’t just ambush me at work,” I tell her in an artic voice.

  “It’s the only place where I know you’ll have a civil conversation.”

  “There’s nothing civil about you being married with a kid, Morgan.”

  She continues to stand at the door, barely moving yet still remaining composed. “We need to talk, Noah, Please?”

  Staring at the floor, I avoid meeting her eyes. The pain is etched all over her face, but who says she even feels pain? Maybe it’s guilt for treating me like shit. Just your run-of-the-mill guilty conscience when you know you screwed someone over but only have yourself to blame.

  Just like you did with Benny.

  “What’s there to talk about? I was a fool. You lied. I got played. End of story.”

  She moves a few feet closer. “No, Noah. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain myself... the situation.”

  “The situation? The fact that you’re married?”

  “Separated.”

  I laugh at the ridiculous technicality. “Such a loose word. That’s what they all say, ‘I’m separated.’ Because it gives you the right to fuck around.”

  “But it gives you the right to prey on women even though you know they’re not over their ex?” she argues back.

  And right there, she made it all clear. Not over an ex.

  “I think, Morgan, you made yourself perfectly clear. So tell me, why should I even bother with you now? That would be a hasty decision because you’re not over your ex... husband.”

  “Noah, please. This is hard... don’t do this to me,” she pleads, keeping her cries at bay.

  “Do this to you?” I raise my voice. “This wasn’t in my plan. You weren’t in my plan! This is supposed to be a new life for me. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you!”

  “No. Just Scarlett, right?”

  “Fuck you,” I tell her and fumble for the keys to my car while ignoring the fact that she’s standing there about to cry. Every part of me wants to run to her and beg her to choose me. Not him. But my pride, it won’t allow it. I refuse to be second best.

  I stand up, pretending to ignore her as I walk past while she calls my name. She’s only a few feet away but her scent has invaded my office, making it nearly impossible to walk away at this moment.

  “Noah, please, let me explain to you.”

  I hold back, uncertain as to why. I hate she has something over me. That my pride and ego are willing to stand still for just a moment to listen to her.

  “Michael is technically not my son. He’s my stepson.”

  I hate to admit that upon hearing those words it makes me feel slightly better, though I will never admit it to her. I continue to stand in silence, unsure as to why I feel the need to listen to her explanation when the damage has already been done.

  “Michael has special needs. I don’t know if you know much about it but he has a-autism,” she continues, the crack in her voice filtering through. “Wyatt and I have joint custody of him and every second week he spends time with his mother.”

  She moves her gaze to the floor, shuffling her feet anxiously. “Last year, Wyatt and I decided to go our own ways. We thought it would be easy but Michael took it hard. We’d worked so hard to create a stable home environment for him. He reacted poorly, and his behavior changed, sleeping became difficult for him. The school was concerned for him. He doesn’t adapt well to change of any kind. There are ways around it, ways we need to adapt. But it’s a prolonged process that takes a lot of dedication from both of us, his mother, teachers, and our therapists. We saw a behavioral specialist last year, and Wyatt and I agreed that for now, we would continue to live in the same house and transition the move slowly.”

  She takes a breath, waiting for me to respond. I don’t have words, or at least my words make no sense in my head. I don’t know a thing about autism. The kid didn’t look any different at Scarlett’s house, so I don’t understand at all what she’s going on about.

  “You lied, Morgan.”

  “I had no choice, Noah. I didn’t expect any of this. I didn’t expect you to walk into my life... you just pissed me off so much I couldn’t think straight. I wanted to tell you, but I knew when I did, you’d act exactly the way you did.”

  “What the fuck do you expect?” I yell.

  “I’m sorry. I just wanted you to know the truth.” She straightens her posture and stares directly at me. “So where to now?”

  “You’re asking me that?” I ridicule her, shaking my head, almost laughing at her ridiculous question. “You’re the one carrying the baggage.”

  She appears offended, her wolfish expression quickly following. “And you’re not? Tell me now, why did life get so complicated back home?”

  I stand in silence, not answering her question.

  “Yeah, exactly. We all have our baggage. We all have our lies. The question is, are you ready to lay all yours on the table for me to see?”

  More silence.

  What the fuck does she expect me to do? Turn around and forgive her, then play happy houses with her and her husband.

  “I didn’t think so. So, before you go judging me, take a look at yourself. None of us are perfect,” she fires back hastily. Morgan turns around, attempting to leave the room before I do.

  Just before she steps out into the hall, I fire one more question at her. The one question eating away at me. “Answer me one thing,” I snarl. “Do you still sleep with him?”

  Her complete body swivels to face where I’m standing. Wearing an emerald-green dress which flares out toward the bottom, it showcases her long, lean legs which my eyes try their hardest to ignore. Even when I’m looking at the floor, I see her gold pumps strapped around her ankle and all I want to do is rest them on my shoulder and kiss every inch of her skin.

  “Yes, Noah. I sleep with him. I don’t fuck him, but we do share the same bed. For the sake of our son.”

  And the thought that threatened to eat away at me just took its first bite.

  I laugh, covering up the hurt and anger swirling throughout my twisted mind. “Right, Morgan, you answered my question perfectly.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  It would have been easy to drown my sorrows in a big bottle of booze last night, but I was sick of feeling hungover and out of control. Not to mention I have terrible judgment when I’m intoxicated.

  Mom has a late afternoon flight back home, so she’s spending most of the day out with some friends.

  When it comes time to say goodbye, I can’t help but miss her already.

  “You’ll get through this, kid,” she tells me with a reassuring smile. “You can get through anything. Just don’t end up in jail... again.”

  I wish I could believe her. But I question everything in my life with no conclusion reached. It’s just way too much for me, so I just block it out. For now.

  Charlie has the girls staying over at Lex’s sister’s house so we can have a proper night to adult. Now, I’m assuming a bottle of tequila will be present but I’m misinformed.

  I arrive home from the airport, and both Charlie and Kate are dressed in PJs, their hair tied up in messy buns.

  “Do you guys do realize it’s only seven o’clock?”

  “Yes.” Charlie smiles. “Go put your PJs on.”

  “Uh, why?”

  “Because when girls have their hearts broken, this is how we recover. Now go get changed and be back here in ten minutes.”

  I laugh loudly, watching the two of them stare at me like a pack of angry wolves. I shake my head repeatedly while making my way upstairs. I decide to wear my gra
y sweats and a white tank since I don’t own PJs with fluffy bunnies on them like Charlie and Kate.

  As I step closer down the stairs, the aroma of pizza lingers in the air. I didn’t have much of an appetite today, stopping only for coffee and a pack of mints. But I sure feel hungry now.

  “We’re eating pizza? Is that it?” I ask both of them.

  “No, silly,” Kate scolds playfully. “That’s just the first course.”

  Charlie stands in front of the television. “Okay… do we watch The Notebook or Titanic?”

  Should I mention that both movies sound awful? Why on earth would they want to watch such depressing shit?

  “Go… The Notebook,” Kate suggests.

  Charlie smiles, clicking the remote and locating the movie on the hard drive. She dims the lights in the theater as I plonk myself next to Kate. She’s holding a box of tissues, then grabs a slice of pizza as the movie begins.

  Thirty minutes into the movie, I’ve lost interest. “So, why is this helping us right now?” I complain.

  “Because it’s one of the greatest love stories. It’ll make you smile, laugh, and cry all at the same time,” Charlie responds with a waver in her voice.

  I’ve devoured a whole pizza when the movie becomes interesting. Okay, the female lead is fucking gorgeous and the story becomes somewhat sad. Somewhere during the middle, it all begins to make sense, and the girls beside me have their tissues scrunched up in their hands with tears streaming down their faces. I’m not sure why. Sure, it is sad, but nothing that depressing.

  And then, the old lady screams at her husband, and the realness of the situation leaves an empty pit in my stomach. Charlie and Kate are a mess. I swallow the lump in my throat—it is actually quite sad.

  Charlie pauses the movie and tells us she’ll be back in a few minutes. She returns with three tubs of ice cream. I pick the vanilla, and she presses play again as we all eat out of the cartons.

  The end of the movie is almost near and I seriously can’t take it anymore. It’s so sad and depressing, I finish the carton of ice cream and I’m not any closer to feeling better about myself.