The King's Commander (Kingdoms of Meria Book 1)

by Cecelia Mecca

  Giving Aedre more pleasure than she’s ever received in her lifetime. I know a part of her has been left vulnerable these past days, her world changing irrevocably. For these brief moments, I want to take away her pain and replace it with the very opposite.

  When her hips press upward, I know she’s fully recovered. With the first thrust, her eyes widen. With the second, her nails press into the flesh of my arms.

  With the third and fourth, she screams out my name, and I welcome it.

  “Vanni,” she says, over and over again.

  Rubbing her nipple between my thumb and forefinger, I angle my body slightly and move again.

  “Aedre,” I murmur in response, knowing exactly how she feels. I could let go at any moment as she climbs toward that final rush of pleasure.

  And then she looks into my eyes.

  All of it is there.

  Her inital resistance toward me.

  The teasing Garra who agreed to “treat” me.

  The gentle healer, sorrowful granddaughter, fierce fighter.

  Looking down at her, I could no sooner hold back than if she’d continued to take me in her mouth. Thankfully, her face transforms to pure joy as I tumble into my release. I collapse on top of her, holding myself up just enough not to crush her. When her arms wrap around me, I don’t even consider moving.

  The ship that so distracted everyone will have been abandoned. The villagers will return, the inn filling up below us, making it more difficult to sneak her out. But I just don’t care.

  My failed mission.

  Rumors about the queen’s commander.

  The king’s need for us.

  None of it matters more than the woman I just made love to, who is holding me as if she would never let go.

  And now we won’t have to part. Our joining solves the problem of me having to leave her, though it creates many others.

  I lift my head finally, confirming it with Aedre.

  “You will come with me to d’Almerita.”

  Her lips part, and I can feel myself stir again, still inside her.

  “Come with you?” She seems genuinely confused.

  “Aye. We will marry. And you will come with me.”

  I don’t like the look she gives me.

  “You think . . . I want to leave Murwood End because I gave you my virginity? That I’d abandon my father, my whole life?”

  I definitely did not expect her anger.

  “You think,” I counter, “that I would take it today and leave you tomorrow? I never expected this, us, but we have no choice now, Aedre.”

  What manner of man does she think I am? I’ve taken her outside of marriage, but to do so and then simply leave her?

  “You did not expect me at all? You knew nothing of me and Kipp when you first came here?”

  I’m unsure what made her think of that now, but when asked that way, I would not lie to her.

  “I knew there was a woman. And I thought perhaps . . .”

  Her eyes narrow, fire blazing from them.

  “You knew.”

  “Aedre, I did not. It was a possibility, of course, but had little to do with why we met so often. Surely you know that. As you know you are a lady. An unmarried lady, and I’ve just taken your virginity.”

  “So Kipp was right. And you did not take my virginity, Vanni. I gave it to you. There is a difference.”

  Perhaps, but there is no difference in the outcome.

  “You will marry me, Aedre. I am not leaving here without you.”

  I don’t much care for the look she gives me as her hands push against my chest.

  “Then it seems as if Murwood End has gained a new resident, because I am not leaving.”

  Chapter Thirty

  Vanni

  “There’s been a . . . complication,” I admit to Thomas as we sit at a table in the inn.

  Aedre ran off before I could stop her—her reaction a clear sign that I did not express myself well. Although I still very much plan to press my suit, it’s clear she needs time to process everything. To cool down. So I watched her walk away—an experience I didn’t care for—and then headed into the great hall of the inn for an ale. Thomas found me there and joined me.

  From the look on his face, he’s not surprised by my words.

  “Aye, I suspected so,” he replies. “You left us at the docks.”

  With good reason, but I don’t offer an explanation. “Was it truly someone from the Royal Court of Edingham?”

  The serving girl brings Thomas an ale, and he thanks her. I drink from my mug, missing wine more than I would have expected. The bitter ale of the north is a poor substitute, though passable, I suppose.

  “If you’d stayed long enough, you might have seen your old friend Stokerton.”

  “You saw him with your own eyes?” I ask in disbelief. I’d heard the rumor but had not believed it true.

  Thomas raises his mug to me. “I saw the queen’s second with my own eyes.”

  In that case, I don’t doubt him. The man is difficult to miss. There’s always a trail of women following him, hoping for a glimpse or even a wink.

  I’ve met Erik Stokerton on numerous occasions and have come away with two incontrovertible truths:

  He is as deadly as he is good-looking.

  He is madly in love with his queen.

  All know it, and he does not aim to hide the fact. It was rumored she once carried his babe, but naught came of that particular rumor. Though there are others . . .

  “What is he doing here in Murwood?”

  For a brief moment, fear blinds my thinking. Could he know about Aldwine somehow? Is he here to persuade him to their cause?

  Impossible. If Edingham knew of Aldwine, they’d have exploited him long ago.

  “We need to speak to him,” I say.

  Thomas smiles. “Done. He will be joining us tomorrow midday, in this very spot.”

  We are enemies, aye. But neither side wishes for a full-out war. The queen’s Curia would not dare to attack us without provocation. And I plan to give them none.

  “How many travel with him?”

  He lifts his eyebrows. “If you’d stayed longer, perhaps you would already know.”

  I know without asking that he saw me leave with Aedre.

  “Thomas—”

  “Explain to another. I more than anyone understand what it is to love a woman. You’ll draw no judgment from me.”

  He thinks I’m in love with Aedre.

  Am I not?

  Although I didn’t intend to take things so far, part of me is glad for it. I didn’t want to be parted from her, and now I won’t have to be. Because whatever she thinks, we will marry. I will not leave Murwood End without her.

  “Tomorrow midday?” The timing of our meeting just occurs to me.

  “Aye. He suggested it himself. I also learned he is to be a guest of Lord Bailor.” Thomas shrugs. “I suppose that’s where the queen’s men can be found this eve.”

  He drinks, unconcerned.

  Lord Bailor did not make such an offer to us when we arrived. I watch my friend, wondering how he could be so oblivious.

  “A guest of Lord Bailor?”

  “Aye.”

  “Why didn’t he offer us the same courtesy?”

  “Maybe he would have if you were as good-looking as Stokerton.”

  Laughing at his own joke, Thomas does not seem bothered by my concern. So I lean forward, lower my voice, and enlighten him. “The queen’s commander is here, in Murwood End, as a guest of the highest-ranking noble in town. Weeks after our failed attack.”

  He blinks.

  God save me from him.

  “And now I know why Galfrid thought so long and hard about naming you Knight Commander,” I quip.

  Thomas isn’t bothered by my words. He’s openly admitted he can be quite difficult at times. If he weren’t such a fierce warrior . . .

  “He is here to gather support.”

  Thomas stares at me a moment and th
en laughs. “From the Voyagers? They will not give it. They’ve always withheld aid and allegiance from both sides.”

  True, but these are curious times.

  “Maybe so, yet it hasn’t stopped them from trying in the past.”

  When Galfrid’s father reigned, the War of Loigh claimed more lives than any of the other wars in Meria’s history. In a bid to end the fighting, the King of Edingham had sent a contingent of men to Murwood to elicit the aid of the Voyagers. They refused, and none have attempted to solicit their support since.

  Some say the Voyagers trade more regularly with Meria because of that long-ago breach of their unwritten rules: Voyagers do not care for any to test their neutrality. Now that I’ve spent time here, I have a better understanding of their ways. Of their independence. The people here honor Aldwine for his fearlessness more than they do Bailor for his title. Such things are meaningless in Murwood, and the queen should know that already.

  But she’s accustomed to wealth and power mattering, and here they do not.

  “If they do get the Voyagers’ support . . . ,” Thomas begins, but I stop him.

  “You are correct—they would never agree to such a thing. But I can tell you, unequivocally, that is why Stokerton is here.”

  “Hmm. Then it should be an interesting meeting. So, since I went to the trouble of arranging it, perhaps you can tell me more of the complications you have embroiled yourself in.”

  I have a feeling he already knows. But Stokerton’s arrival gives me an unexpected stay of execution. An extra day to speak to Aedre, to make her understand. She thinks my interest in her was solely to gain an audience with Kipp, and I have to convince her otherwise. I was drawn to her from the start, and there is no way I will leave Murwood End without her. Now I have a reason to stay, to convince her that we should marry.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Aedre

  “I will never marry him. He knew, Kipp.”

  Kipp grins at me as I pace in his solar. I came to Nord Manor after sending word to Father instead of going home, desperate to avoid Vanni. I’ve stayed overnight here before, the manor more than large enough to accommodate guests. Now that the tide has risen, we are accessible only by boat, and Vanni and his men have none. Of course, as Kipp pointed out, they could obtain one easily for the short journey, but I do not believe Vanni will do so.

  He was less angry than I imagined when I told him Vanni suspected I knew him. Or at least considered the possibility Kipp and I were friends. If he had any inkling of it, Vanni should have told me when I asked.

  Is he even still here, in Murwood End?

  This morn, the thought of him leaving was devastating. But now, the very opposite is true. If he had asked me instead of telling me . . . if he had made some profession of love . . . if he had considered my wants and needs at all . . . if he’d mentioned the possibility that he knew I had a connection to Kipp.

  I don’t know what would have happened then. But I’ll not let a man dictate my future out of some allegiance to a code of honor I do not share. Nor will I wed a man who’s made it quite clear he has no wish to marry.

  I would rather remain here, in the manor house, heartbroken.

  “The choice is yours.”

  Stopping at the window, I find myself thinking of Vanni’s chest beneath my hands, of him thrusting into me, of him looking into my eyes with something stronger than lust. Of the utter bliss I experienced with him.

  I was ignorant before, but now . . . now I know. And I will never, ever be the same again.

  “How could you not have told me?” I accuse, knowing my anger is misplaced but unable to help myself.

  “Told you what, precisely?”

  Unlike me, Kipp is relaxed, legs stretched out in front of him as he eats an apple and fingers the dagger my father forged for him. I’ll never forget the day he asked my father for that weapon. Father and I were in the shop when Kipp stormed inside. Normally, we would have learned of his ship’s arrival before we saw him, but we’d heard nothing. We only knew he and his father had gone off to fight for Lord Rawlins in Edingham.

  But I knew straightaway something had gone wrong. Which was confirmed by Kipp’s words.

  “I need a dagger. The finest, sharpest one you’ve ever forged.”

  Even now a chill runs up my back at the memory of his expression that day.

  After explaining that his father had been killed, he stated his intention to slay the man who’d hired him.

  Lord Rawlins had gained back his estate but at a great loss of life, something the Highlander cared little about given the majority of the men were hired mercenaries. Worse, he refused to pay Kipp, saying his agreement was with the father, not the son.

  Since that day, he’s never again spoken of the battle, or of Rawlins, except but one time. I’d asked Kipp why he had wanted a dagger when he owned a perfectly good sword.

  “I will look into the eyes of the man responsible for my father’s death.”

  After that, I never asked again about Lord Rawlins, his plans for revenge, or details of the battle. I know only he’s talked many times of an opportunity for a fair fight with the man.

  “Aedre? What did I not tell you?”

  I tear my gaze away from the dagger.

  “You’ve been with women before. How could you not have told me what it was like? How transformative it is.”

  Kipp wasn’t exactly happy to learn what happened between Vanni and me, especially since it was as much my idea as Vanni’s, but I’m annoyed too. I can’t help but feel my friend has been withholding.

  “You allowed me to practice what Amma taught me, but I didn’t truly understand what I was doing,” I continue. “I am a fool.”

  He does not seem overly concerned.

  “What would you have me say, Aedre? ’Tis not something easily put into words. As well you know.”

  Could I put what I experienced earlier that day into words? The feeling of Vanni inside of me? The bond that had formed between us, so strong I would have thought it unbreakable if he had not snapped it so quickly afterward?

  “I am a fool,” I repeat, shoving aside the comforting words Vanni spoke the other night. He compared my practice to that of a childless midwife. But it is different. So different.

  “Amma knew,” Kipp says, his words barely a whisper. “She did not think you less of a Garra because of it.”

  Amma. I dishonor her memory by worrying about Vanni when I should be mourning.

  “What would she say if you told her what you told me about Vanni?”

  I only need to consider it for a moment. The answer is as clear to me as my memory of her smile, for she always asked the same thing of the people who came to her for help in matters of love.

  “She would have asked if I love him.”

  Amma had claimed the heart always, always knew, even when the mind did not. And that love was a greater healer than marigold or mallow. No herb or stone or talisman could properly substitute for it. She had loved my grandfather, whom I never knew. And taught her daughter to marry for love too.

  “Do you believe in marrying for love, Kipp?”

  It’s been some time since we’ve discussed the subject, though I’m sure I already know his answer.

  “Few in this world can afford the luxury.”

  Voyagers might be freer than most, certainly more so than those from Meria or Edingham, but there are disadvantages to living in such a small place.

  “Do you suppose I’ve fallen for Vanni simply because he is not from Murwood?” I ask.

  Kipp puts the knife down on a table next to him in favor of a mug of ale.

  “Fallen? I’d think you of all people would be brave enough to say the word, Aedre.”

  I slink into a velvet-lined chair across from my friend, the sky now completely dark.

  “Love.”

  Amma always described love as both wondrous and treacherous, a healer and the source of sorrow. I thought I understood. I love her. And Father. And Kipp
.

  But this is different. This type of love has fangs.

  One of Kipp’s brows lifts. “Have you fallen for any of the other men who’ve come through here?” he asks. “There are plenty of them, are there not?”

  Indeed.

  “You have no other words of wisdom?”

  Kipp shrugs. “You’ve made it clear you’ll not marry him. What wisdom could I offer? He will leave, if he’s not done so already, and you will likely never see the man again.”

  “You are no Amma,” I mutter.

  “Nay, I am not.”

  “Do you truly believe he only cared for me as a way to gain access to you?”

  I know better than to think it, but I am curious whether Kipp still believes it to be so.

  He gives me a long look and, as if what he saw made him pity me, proceeds to stand and pour me a mug of ale. Once it passes from his hand to mine, he sits again.

  “Nay, I do not. I saw the fire in his eyes when Father Beald walked into Lord Bailor’s hall. His reaction was not feigned.”

  Which reminds me. “Speaking of Lord Bailor . . . they say the queen’s commander is his guest. Does that not surprise you?”

  “Nay, it does not. I expect he will attempt to garner support for an attack on Meria.”

  I nearly spill the ale halfway to my lips.

  “Attack on Meria?”

  I hadn’t considered why they were here, precisely. Given what happened with Amma. And Vanni. I haven’t thought of much else.

  “You know as well as I do they are weakened by the loss of that ship. With a contingent of Voyagers, they could cause real damage. The conflict could finally be resolved.”

  His words make no sense.

  “Voyagers do not serve the queen.”

  “Perhaps for the right price . . .”

  Nay, it is not possible.

  “You would never.”

  Kipp gave up his mercenary days when his father died. Although some of his journeys are still dangerous, his focus is on trade, not fighting. Does he hate the king so much he’d consider taking up arms against him? Against Vanni?

  “Kipp?”

  He makes a face that I do not like.

  I’m consumed by the thought of him sailing to d’Almerita, engaging in battle with Vanni. What if Kipp kills him? What if Vanni kills Kipp?