by J. M. Adele
“Left foot, yellow,” she called out.
Ben and I stood on opposite sides of the mat, mirroring our moves and our grins.
“Left hand, red.”
We both bent, me to the left, him to the right.
“Right hand, blue.”
I bent forward, arms spread wide, and my left leg bent to the side. He had to cross his arms to reach his target. I took in the way his shoulders and back stretched to accommodate the move. The guy was built like a tank. I fucking loved it. His gaze targeted my cleavage. It was pretty clear by the glow in his eyes that he liked what he saw.
Several moves later, his arm was across my back, and my leg stretched between his. I hadn’t thought this through. It was tempting to wriggle my butt against him, but Bree was watching. This was getting weird. His breath brushed my ear. Hair-raising tingles spread along the backs of my thighs as his jeans rubbed against me. My mind went straight to the gutter, picturing this position, but naked and without a witness. I couldn’t take it. I collapsed, laughing at myself. How ridiculous. My seduction plan had backfired on me.
“Can we watch a movie now?” Bree grumbled.
“You don’t want a turn?” I stood and pulled my shorts out of my bum.
She moved towards the TV. “Nah. I’m bored with it already.”
I bent to grab the mat and his hand trailed up my thigh, landing on my arse cheek. I snapped upright, checking to see that Bree was concentrating on the DVD collection and not what Ben and I were doing. Music still filled the room with primal beats fit for a dance club. Angling my head, my nose pressed into his jaw as he placed his chin on my shoulder. His hand slid inside my shorts, a finger hooking into the back of my G-string. “I was wondering if you were wearing any undies at all.” The words came out as a low rumble like distant thunder. A warning of an impending electrical storm.
“Now you know.”
His other palm landed flat between my hip bones, holding me in place. He moved his hooked finger down, pulling my underwear away from my skin until his knuckle hit moist flesh. “You’re wet. I thought so.” Tugging the strip of fabric upwards, he made it rub against my sensitive opening. “Does that feel good?”
I sucked in some air through clenched teeth. Fuck, yes.
“Do you enjoy it when I torment you?”
I leaned against him, slipping my hand behind me to find his arousal hard. Giving him a gentle squeeze, I answered, “Yes.”
“I’ve gotta go sit down before she sees my issue.” He aimed for the big armchair at one end of the lounge, his hands working under his T-shirt to adjust his pants.
I dashed over to the stereo remote and shut off the music before grabbing the throw rug off the back of the couch. Offering it to him, he shook his head and patted his lap for me to sit. Carefully lowering myself across his thighs, I made sure to give him some room. The blanket provided cover over our laps. Bree pressed play before walking off in the direction of the kitchen.
“Are you getting drinks?” I called out.
“Yeah,” she yelled back as the sound of the movie starting filled the room.
I turned to Ben “Are you still hard?” I whispered.
“Painfully.”
“Undo your fly.”
“I already did.”
“Really?” I lifted his shirt and had a peek. Black jocks barely contained what he was packing. In fact, if I tugged on the waistband, I’d get to see. Oh, my God. There’s the head of his cock. I raised my eyes, finding his smoking-hot stare aimed at my mouth.
Bree came back in the room and I quickly put the blanket back in place, feigning innocence. Sweat broke out along my top lip.
She placed three glasses and a bottle of lemonade on the coffee table before frowning at us. “Are you guys cold?”
Ben coughed. I half whimpered, half hummed.
“Do you want me to turn off the fan?”
“Nope,” I yelped.
At the same time, Ben barked, “No.”
“Okaaay.” She raised her brows and twisted one corner of her mouth like she thought we’d gone cuckoo.
Turning off the light, she finally came back and lay on the couch, facing her feet away from us.
My gaze was trained on Ben as the flickering light from the screen played across his tight features. He returned my stare, the flare of his nostrils evident even in the dim room. I kissed the corner of his mouth. The poor guy. Two hours of this was going to be excruciating. I wasn’t exactly comfortable myself.
I leaned forward, preparing to move seats, but his grip on my hips pulled me back. I shot him a questioning glance. He pressed his lips to my ear. “Don’t move.” My shoulder jerked towards my ear as his breath set off a cascade of tingles. My nipples tightened. He noticed, his hand reaching to pinch one through my tank. I bit my lip to keep from making a noise.
I was the worst babysitter in the world. We were the worst babysitters in the world.
His lips met my earlobe again. “Behave yourself.”
I encircled his neck with my arms and placed my lips to his ear. “I can’t if I’m sitting on your lap with your dick poking out of your undies.”
He burst out laughing. Thank God it was perfectly timed with something funny in the movie and Bree laughed, too. On the screen, Jim Carrey made one of his rubber-faced expressions.
I hopped up before Ben could stop me, throwing the blanket back over him before going to the toilet.
When I’d finished, I filled the glasses with lemonade and handed Bree and Ben one each. Taking my own to the opposite side of the room, I settled into the spare armchair.
Ben narrowed his eyes at me over the rim. I volleyed a smirk. His brows rose. I winked. He mouthed, “You are in big trouble.”
I certainly hoped so.
When the fuck would this movie ever finish?
_____
Bree conked out about half an hour before the end of the flick. I had to shake her awake so she’d go to bed. After making sure she was settled, I shut her door and returned to the lounge room. Ben had turned the movie off and music played on low volume. I could only just hear Beyoncé singing about being single, but already my shoulders were bouncing.
“Dance for me.”
“I am.” I twisted my left hand back and forth near my face in Beyoncé’s signature move, my other hand on my hip as I rocked from side to side. I spun around, shaking my booty in his face. He grabbed for me, but I danced out of his way, doing a lap of the coffee table.
Laughter tumbled from my mouth as I braced my hands on my hips and tried to catch a breath.
“I love watching you dance.” He sat on the edge of his seat.
I smiled and shrugged as his compliment settled in my chest. “I stopped dancing a couple of years ago.”
“Why?”
“After Jess died, it didn’t feel right anymore.” I didn’t want to put a dampener on our night. But it was the truth. Partially. There was another reason. “But also, these happened.” I grabbed my boobs. “They get in the way of everything.”
Like a telephoto lens, he zoomed in on my rack. “I wouldn’t mind them getting in my way.”
“You like them a lot, don’t you?”
“Stupid question.” He looked down the hall. “Can we go to your room?”
“Yes.” Finally.
In one swift move, he’d picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. I cried out before slapping my hand over my mouth. Shit. Stay asleep, Bree. Luckily her bedroom was at the end of the hallway near Mum and Peter’s bedroom. Mine was closer to the living area. There was a bathroom and laundry in between us.
He locked us in my room and put me on my feet.
“Those shorts drive me insane. Your boobs drive me mental. You make me crazy.”
“The feeling is mutual. What are we gonna do about it?”
He lurched forward, locking his mouth to mine as big arms caught me in their embrace. He was my safe place. I couldn’t have felt more secure. He was the one person I could unle
ash my true self upon, knowing he could take it. It was instinctual. Intrinsic. Home.
I slipped my hands under his shirt and into the back of his undies, rewarded with warm, smooth skin. His glutes clenched under my touch, and I pinched one in warning. Pulling up his shirt, he bent forward so I could rip it off. I didn’t waste a second before my hands were spread across his chest, playing with the dusting of dark hair and the dips and valleys of his abs. God, I wanted to lick him everywhere. I did just that, starting at one nipple and travelling across to the other. He tugged at my tank, forcing me to step away so he could get rid of it. We’d already gone further than we’d ever been before.
A harsh breath rushed from his mouth as he tested the heavy weight of my breasts in his hands. “Fuck. You are beautiful.” His words sank in to expand my heart and it responded by thumping with more veracity.
He kissed from my chin down my neck before lifting my boobs to his face and sucking wet kisses along the edge of sheer fabric. My palms caressed the bulges and striations of his back—the wide, winged trapezius muscle that made it impossible for his arms to sit flat against his sides.
I slid to the dip at his waist and the indents near his hipbones. My fingers worked the button and zipper and pushed the denim down his strong legs. There it was again. The head of his cock, poking out to say hello. My thumb found the tip, circling around. His hips jerked and a strangled noise muffled into my breasts. Without warning, my shorts landed in a pool at my feet and he retreated a step. “Turn.”
My stomach clenched at his demand. I spun slowly. Large, sure palms halted my movement as they gripped the front of my thighs. Knees brushed at my ankles as he lowered himself to the floor. I didn’t look behind me. I just closed my eyes and let my other senses take over. The calluses on his hands scratched against my skin, setting off sparks along my nerve endings. His stubble was rough against my backside as he kissed and bit his way along, getting to know this intimate part of me. His nose dug into one cheek as his teeth grabbed a hold of the flimsy fabric that ran along it, and he pulled it away before snapping it back in place. I jumped, laughing. Playful Ben. My body liked that side of him way too much, responding by soaking my G-string. I was so ready.
His hand slipped between my legs, his fingers playing along the front while his thumb probed beneath my underwear. He continued to plant kisses all over my cheeks as his free hand curled into the band of my lingerie and tugged it down my legs. The pads of his fingers played me like his guitar. I lifted one foot out of the scrap of lace and organza and widened my stance. He growled in response and bit my bum. My hips rolled as he kept swirling, rubbing, circling. I gasped for air as he consumed my body in flames. Rising to his feet without stopping, he unsnapped the clasp of my bra and pushed between my shoulders until I braced my hands on the edge of the bed, the straps acting as restraints around my wrists. Hips instinctively moving with sharp thrusts, I circled them on occasion. My nerves had me under their control and Ben was the messenger telling them what to do.
I opened my eyes, drawn to movement in my peripheral vision. The mirrored door of my wardrobe. He’d been watching us. My tits hung, brushing my elbows. His cock stood out straight as he bent over me. Oh, my God. His hooded blue stare was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen. He caught me looking and nipped at my shoulder as his fingers entered me. One. Two. His other hand reached around to continue playing my clit. I bowed my back, mouth wide in a soundless scream as an orgasm crashed my system.
I was still riding the crest of the wave when I heard the rustle of a wrapper before his dick slid along my opening, then forward and backwards through my slickness. “Fuck.” His head lolled, as one palm urged my hips to press against him. He entered me slowly, fingers gently stroking my folds from the front. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I whispered as my legs shook and my chest tightened in anticipation.
He inched his way in before pulling all the way out. With each slow thrust he got deeper and deeper. My orgasm was building again from his persistent playful fingers. Pressure swelled. It was more intense with him inside me. He pushed with a sharp jolt and something inside gave way. It stole my breath and my head bowed forward. He didn’t retreat this time. Letting me get used to him, his fingers kept moving. I watched the flex of his hand and wrist as he drove me toward the precipice.
My hips began to circle. I writhed against him, my bum rubbing against his hips.
“Watch,” he whispered, kissing behind my ear, his thumb nudging my chin towards the end of the bed.
Jesus. We were putting on our own porn show and I fucking loved it. His hands reached around to capture my tits, pinching at the nipples. They bounced every time we ground together. The muscles in Ben’s neck strained as he clenched his teeth. Our action became frantic. The pulse between my legs strengthened, spreading over my whole body. Ben’s hands squeezed harder as he bent his knees and pounded me from behind. I dropped to my elbows and his strokes went deeper.
“Fuck,” he grunted. “Put your knees up on the bed and face the mirror.”
I did as he said. He climbed behind me, pushing my knees wider with his. After grabbing my pillow, he placed it under my chest. My tits settled near my chin as I leaned on my elbows. Giving me a long kiss, he reached around and played with the soft flesh as his tongue tangled with mine.
Straightening, our reflections returned our rapt faces as he filled me again. I looked so small compared to his looming form behind me. His arms flexed as he worked my body. All I could smell was sex, sweat, and a hint of cologne. We both bit our bottom lips, the sounds of slick flesh slapping together turning me to liquid. My heart crashed around my ribcage as he reached around to press on my button. Quakes spread from my core, arresting my body into seizures of pleasure. Involuntarily, my eyes clenched shut, robbing me of the view of him falling off the cliff into pleasure. Hearing his grunts, I ordered my lids to open and caught his chin pressed towards his chest, his face screwed up in ecstasy. Oh, wow. He was divine. I smiled. His face relaxed and we kept our gazes on each other as our movements calmed.
He tugged me backwards to sit on him, keeping us connected, my knees resting outside of his. As he peppered the side of my face with kisses, his palms rubbed my nipples. “Are you sore?”
“A bit. But in a good way.”
“Now that I’ve unwrapped you, I don’t want to cover you up. If we lived together you’d have to walk around naked.”
Ooh. I could imagine it all too well and my core clenched around him. Bending over to get the milk out of the fridge and him taking me from behind. Him sitting at the dinner table and me bouncing in his lap. Him coming home from work and me climbing on to welcome him. “Same rules would apply for you.”
“Mm-hmm.” He jiggled my girls in his hands, watching in the mirror.
“Pfft. You’re a boob man.”
“Yes, I am.”
I climbed off and stood next to the bed, grabbing at the mattress as my legs wobbled.
“You okay?” He steadied my shoulder.
“Yeah. Sort of. I need to lie down.”
He moved over and patted the bed. After ripping a tissue from the box on my nightstand, he took care of the condom before lying beside me. His arm was under my neck and around my shoulders. My arm was across his chest, leg rested on top of his. I kissed his stubbly chin. He kissed the tip of my nose.
We closed our eyes and went to sleep.
Ben
Brisbane, Australia
30th of December, 2016
I took off Sebastian’s nappy, exposing his scrawny little body. After grabbing a wipe, I cleaned his bum. His poos were finally becoming normal baby poos. That black tar shit that first came out was hard to get off his skin. The nurse said it was because in the womb they get their nutrients through the umbilical blood, so the waste is a different colour and consistency than when they’re on milk. Andy would have known that already. She would’ve known how to swaddle him so that he would feel secure and settle quickly. She would
’ve known how to give him a bath.
I was standing here, listening to the nurse talk me through the procedure for the second time. I couldn’t fucking remember what she’d shown me before. Did I swaddle him and wash his hair first, or did I just hook my fingers under his arms and dip his body in?
Seb’s little arms reached into thin air, shaking as he cried his newborn cry.
“Okay. He’s not liking the cold air or the feeling of being exposed, so let’s swaddle him first. Across one shoulder. Across the other. Fold up the bottom and tuck it behind. That’s it.” She made actions with her hands to guide me.
He quietened, blinking up at me with eyes like Andy’s.
“Hold him like a football. You know how to do that.”
That I could do.
“Wet the flannel and just trickle the warm water over his scalp. He’ll love it.”
His mouth formed an O as his eyes rolled closed. It almost sounded like he was purring.
“See?” the nurse chirped.
Yeah, I saw.
I chuckled. Man, this was amazing. Andy and I had done something incredible in making this miniscule human.
Guilt hit me a second later. How was I able to enjoy this experience when she was upstairs in the ICU fighting for her life because of our son’s existence?
“Now you can unwrap him and hold him steady in the water like I showed you. But don’t leave him exposed for too long.”
I put him back in the plastic cradle before taking off the towel. His umbilical cord was still attached. A dried out, shrivelled up version of itself, the clip no longer holding on for any reason other than the fact that no one had taken it off. Andy would want to keep that. And the name-card on the cradle. His arm band. The hair from his first haircut. His first tooth. God, would she get to experience any of his milestones? She hadn’t even set eyes on him.
“Get him in the water.”
Right. Shit. The poor kid was stuck with me looking after him when I couldn’t think straight.
I dipped his body beneath the water, holding him under the shoulders. He kicked his legs before going still and sporting that blissful expression he had before. The force of my love for this child was off the scale. He expanded my heart to the size of the universe. Endless. Ever-growing. Infinite. Timeless. It was so big it couldn’t be contained by measures applied in this world.