Hardwired

by C. P. Rowlands

  “It hurts.” Devi touched her sore eye. “I like the doctor lady.”

  “It’ll heal, and the doctor will always be here for us.” Leefe took a sip of the coffee.

  Devi went to work on the toast. “Is Papa here?”

  “No. I’m taking you with me to the day care.” Leefe got up and gave Devi the rest of her own carton of milk. “Will you drink this for me?”

  Devi took the carton. “I’m thirsty.”

  “Want some water?”

  “I don’t like water.” Devi held up the plastic glass on her tray, looking at it intently.

  “You drink water with me at the day care. What’s up?”

  “We drink brown water at Papa’s. It hurts.” She rubbed her stomach.

  Leefe tucked the information away for Dr. Bergs. She knew where Devi’s family had been squatting, at the old theater. “You’re right. You shouldn’t drink brown water.”

  “Mine?” Devi pointed at the big stuffed Cookie Monster, her face hopeful.

  “No. That belongs here. Some other little boy or girl may need it.”

  “Okay.” Devi scanned each part of the walls as if she were memorizing them. Leefe remembered her own confusion when Beverly had her in the hospital. She had learned, and so would Devi. “I like this bed,” Devi said. Her little hands stroked the sheets.

  “I liked my bed too. We’re lucky, aren’t we?”

  Devi smiled an almost grownup smile. Leefe wondered if she’d ever slept in a real bed, other than the one at day care.

  “Dang.” Leefe remembered Devi’s clothes. “I’ll be right back.” She opened the door and almost ran into Clary.

  “Morning,” Clary said. “I came in earlier and stopped at the ER. They couldn’t find the clothes but saved the red shoes, so I went shopping and got these. Is that okay with you? I would have called, but I’ve lost my phone. I ripped the car up but couldn’t find it.”

  “You left your phone here on the cot,” Leefe said. “It fell on the floor but didn’t break. I looked at that picture you showed me last night and one other one,” she admitted.

  “I don’t care that you looked at the pictures. I’m just glad to find the phone.” Clary tucked the phone into her jean’s pocket. “The shopping was fun, and I saw Dr. Bergs as she was leaving. She said I could take you two out to breakfast.” Clary gave her that full-out, warm smile that always made Leefe smile too.

  “That would be great.” Leefe was still hungry, but years of disregarding the feeling had taught her to be satisfied with what was available. “We had oatmeal, but I think we could pack away some pancakes.”

  *

  Clary parked in the restaurant parking lot. Devi’s awe-filled little voice filtered over the seats. “I’ve never rided a car before. We slept in one.”

  “Ridden in,” Leefe corrected her. “Not rided.”

  “She’s never ridden in a car?” Clary said under her breath.

  “Dr. Bergs said Devi should take this medicine with food so this is good.” Leefe stuffed the bottle in her pocket and fumbled with Devi’s seat belt. Watching her, Clary remembered Leefe didn’t drive and had probably never taken a child out of a car.

  They found a booth near the window, put the booster chair between them, and pulled the table close. Devi’s eyes were riveted on the people in the restaurant.

  “This used to be the old drug store,” Clary said.

  “There was candy right there,” Leefe said softly, pointing across the room.

  “And books,” Clary added, turning to Leefe. “My favorite—” She stopped. Leefe had the strangest look on her face. She started to ask as the waitress appeared.

  Devi drank water as if she’d wandered in from the desert. Clary was sure she’d need a bathroom soon and, right on schedule, Devi began to wiggle. They left, Leefe holding Devi’s hand securely.

  Clary noticed Leefe had that small limp going this morning. Maybe she hadn’t slept well. She leaned back with a little ramble of happiness inside her. This was fun, being here with Leefe and Devi. The jeans and long-sleeved, blue T-shirt with embroidered butterflies and bumblebees she’d bought fit Devi perfectly. She might learn a lot about the young Leefe by paying attention to Devi.

  The waitress brought warmed syrup, butter, a glass of chocolate milk, and coffee. Clary scanned the table and wondered if Devi had ever been in a restaurant. Hannah had been in a restaurant at least once a week her entire life.

  They came out of the bathroom with Devi skipping beside Leefe. Both were gesturing with their hands. She thought of Leefe between her and Jesse last night. They were warriors Clary decided, big and small, and Devi would be tough like Leefe. Once again, fully intrigued, Clary’s heart bumped up.

  Devi scrambled up over the booth into the booster seat. “There was hot air in the bathroom,” she said to Clary, eyes shining with wonder.

  “What does she mean?” Clary looked at Leefe.

  “The hand drier in the bathroom fascinated her.”

  They both laughed. Two people from the table next to them left, one of them holding an unlit cigarette, and Clary turned to Leefe.

  “You really don’t smoke, do you?”

  “Of course I do, when I feel like it. I just don’t feel like it very often,” Leefe said with a shrug. “It’s my little rebellion or relaxation. Don’t you have something like that?”

  “Sure. I do something crazy with my hair.”

  Leefe narrowed her eyes, scanning Clary’s hair. “Is that your real color?”

  “I haven’t seen my real color since eighth grade.” Clary laughed at herself.

  “You girls look happy,” Howie McCardle said, suddenly in front of them.

  Clary smiled up at him. “Have a seat. We’re waiting for breakfast.”

  “Hi, Howard,” Leefe said. “This is Devi.”

  “So this is Devi. I talked with Jesse today,” he said with a big smile for the little girl, and pulled a chair up to the table. “We haven’t found the missing people,” he said, and pushed back as the waitress brought the food.

  “Look, a bear.” Devi’s voice rose as she pointed at the teddy bear pancake.

  “Bet it tastes better than a real bear.” Leefe grinned.

  “It does.” Howie made a face. “My wife shot a bear two years ago, but none of us liked the meat. We gave it to the Food Plant. They made a great stew out of it and fed lots of people.”

  “Your wife shoots bears? I heard you were married,” Clary said. “Do you have kids?”

  “I have three, including one boy, the youngest, and two girls that have me wrapped around their little fingers.” He picked up the syrup container and held it out to Devi. “Tell me when you’re ready.”

  Devi bent close. “What is it?”

  “Syrup,” Leefe said. “Remember the bumblebee jar at the day care?”

  Devi nodded and pointed at her shirt. “See? I have bees. Butterflies too.”

  Clary grinned. Had she ever seen three adults so focused on a pancake and syrup? Howie was good with kids and made Devi giggle as he poured the syrup. Clary caught Leefe’s warm look directed at her from under those long, black eyelashes and took a deep breath. It was a good moment, and she leaned back, relaxed and happy.

  Howie told them stories about camping with his family and called his wife “Annie Oakley.” Devi ate everything and took the medicine without a complaint. The chocolate milk was exciting as well. Clary noticed and had the waitress bring Devi another glass, which brought on more grins. Devi sipped the milk and watched Howie carefully.

  As they left, Howie held Leefe back and talked to her by the restaurant door. Devi yawned so Clary picked her up, carrying her toward the car, and Devi snuggled into her with a sigh. She weighed hardly anything. She heard running footsteps behind her, and she began to turn as Devi yelled, “Papa.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Clary tightened her grip just as she was knocked down, and then Devi was gone. The parking lot pavement came up fast, jolting her knees, and
she rolled to her feet.

  “Son-of-a—” she yelled, running after the man with Devi in his arms.

  “Stop, Clary.” Howie grabbed her from behind.

  “Let me go.” She jerked sideways. Her knees were killing her.

  Leefe was beside her, then in front of her, stopping her. “Clary, no, we have to let her go.”

  “But she just got out of the hospital.” Clary felt Leefe’s rushed breath and hands tight on her hips. “Devi said Papa. Was that really her father?”

  Leefe stepped back, and Howie straightened his tie. “Yes, and Leefe’s right,” he said.

  “The father will bring her back. He knows we’ll feed her.” Leefe took a few steps and looked down the alley behind the restaurant. “He’s gone. They’re gone,” she said, her face grim.

  “We’ll watch for them.” Howie dialed his phone. “Legally, no one can detain them, even the police, unless there’s a crime involved.”

  “Damn.” Clary bent to pick up the car keys she’d dropped. There was blood on the knees of her torn jeans. “I screwed up. She was my responsibility.”

  “Mine too.” Leefe put a hand on her back and nudged her toward the car. “Let’s clean your knees at the day care. Does anything else hurt?” she said over a shaky breath.

  “No.” Clary put the car in gear and waved at Howie. “He knocked me down. He could have asked, and I might have argued, but she called him Papa. I would have asked you or Howie.”

  “He didn’t know that,” Leefe said. “For all he knew, you were kidnapping his child. He’d have recognized me or Howard, but we were out of his line of vision.” Leefe leaned over and looked at Clary’s knees. “Have you been knocked down before like that?”

  “Not since I was a kid,” Clary said, parking at the day care. The fall had shaken her.

  When they walked into the kitchen, the kids sitting at the table yelled Leefe’s name. Clary saw Leefe’s tight smile as she talked to them. A woman placed soup and sandwiches on the big table. Albie stopped to shake her hand with a firm grip, her square face carrying a smile. Her hair was tied back with a brown ribbon that matched her skin, and she wore an apron over her T-shirt and jeans.

  “You’re Joe and Maureen’s niece?” Albie said. “You’re lucky to have them as family.”

  “I think so too,” Clary said.

  Leefe lifted a toddler into a high chair and kissed her braided hair. “Who did this?” she teased her, pulling on one of the pigtails that stood straight up from the little girl’s head. A tiny yellow ribbon wove through her hair.

  “Mema.” The toddler looked down, shy in front of everyone.

  “Her sometimes-grandmother, and she gave her a bath too.” Albie distributed pieces of a sandwich on the high chair tray with a Sippy Cup of milk. A big blue ceramic bowl of apples sat in the middle of the table.

  “Where is everyone? There’s only…” Leefe counted. “Fourteen kids.”

  “Two of the volunteers, the lifeguards, took the older ones to the beach,” Albie said as she finished the last sandwich. “This is second shift. The others ate before they left. Where’s Devi?” Leefe frowned, and Albie looked at Clary, a question on her face.

  “This is Clary, from yesterday. Does anyone remember?” Leefe pointed at Clary.

  Hands went up, but Clary noticed not a single child sitting at the table touched their food, and Leefe appeared so calm.

  “I need your help,” Leefe said to the group. “Clary, step back so they can see your knees. What do we need when we have skinned knees?”

  “Band-Aid,” a chorus of voices answered. Clary couldn’t believe how concerned and interested they all looked.

  “That’s right,” Leefe said. “Do you care if I cut your jeans, Clary?” She picked up scissors when Clary nodded. “Here, sit on this stool. Kids, time to eat, but you can watch.” Spoons clattered at the table.

  Perched on the stool, Clary leaned close to Leefe. “Careful,” she whispered.

  Leefe gave her a ghost of a smile and turned to the children. “See this? Pieces of cement and dirt from a parking lot and, if you don’t clean it, you get…what?”

  “In-fek-shun,” the kids said together. Leefe opened a little red box full of bandages, antibiotic cream, Q-Tips, and peroxide.

  Leefe went to work on both of Clary’s knees. “Jacob, sit down,” she said without turning around. The little blond boy stood on the bench. He sank to the seat but craned his neck.

  Clary recognized the little boy that had snuggled against her yesterday, and she smiled at him. “Now I know what a microscope slide feels like. Ouch, that stings,” she said. The kids giggled, and she grinned at them.The fingers on her skin felt good, warm and careful. When Leefe was done, she placed the red box on the cupboard.

  “Good as new, but you’ll be stiff tomorrow,” Leefe said and turned to the kids. “Remember, you don’t need that little red box. Wet a paper towel, an old T-shirt, a sock, whatever. Just clean the scrape off, but it’s better if you can find soap and water. Okay, show’s over. Finish your lunch. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Leefe held the door to the front porch. “Thanks for being my living lesson.”

  “I lied. It didn’t sting,” Clary said, but every time Leefe had touched her, a jolt of something shot through her.

  “I felt you flinch.”

  “Maybe a little.” They stood on the porch. “Why don’t you swing by tonight and I’ll make dinner. We missed coffee last night.”

  “You’re cooking? I’m there, but I have to feed the kids first so make it later.” Leefe took a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

  “No biggie.” Clary shrugged. “How do you know Devi will be back?”

  “I’d be shocked to see them today, but he won’t want her to be without food. Howard’s group is probably watching the Food Plant.” Leefe sat on the step, pulled her legs up, and wrapped her arms around them. “Yes, it’s that simple.” Eyes glistening, she looked out into the street and cleared her throat. “Howard said he and his wife will take Devi’s brother when they’re located, and if they need help. No one knows how this is going to shake out.”

  “I don’t know Howie’s wife, but I went all the way through school with him. I trust him.”

  “You’re making a face.”

  “He was my first kiss, and I hit him as hard as I could.”

  Leefe tipped her head back, laughing. “I’ve had a few of those.”

  “Call me if you hear anything. I’m going fishing with my neighbor at the harbor, and I’ll have my phone. Bring your appetite tonight,” Clary said and went down the steps. “Thanks for the first aid.”

  “Thanks for breakfast,” Leefe called from the porch.

  Clary looked back at Leefe and paused as if to say more, but then went on her way. A little lightheaded, she fumbled with her keys. It was more than just the fall in the parking lot. No need to wonder what she’d felt all morning. It was attraction, plain and simple.

  *

  On the way back to the kitchen, Leefe stopped to get herself together. Where would Devi’s family have gone? She’d been honest with Clary, but there were a million other possibilities. Dinner tonight was a bright spot in an otherwise very dangerous day. And Clary…she took a deep breath and went into the kitchen.

  She helped Albie clean up, and they sat at the table over coffee, talking about the hospital, this morning at the restaurant, and Devi’s absence. Albie only nodded. They’d been through this before. The children always had cuts, scrapes, or bruises. And sometimes they just disappeared.

  “I think I saw her father across the street before breakfast. He was probably looking for her,” Albie said, rinsing her cup. “Also, before I forget, Jacob has a fever.”

  “Again?” Leefe leaned back, seeing Jacob curled in his favorite corner with the book he and Devi had been reading yesterday. “He’s already asleep.” She checked the schedule on the wall. “The city nurses will be here tomorrow. Maybe we should keep him here tonight.” Albie was
a nurse who had lost her job when the hospitals downsized, and one of the few people Leefe trusted without question. She picked up her phone and left a message about Devi and her father for Beverly, and then as an afterthought, one for Dr. Bergs.

  When Jacob woke, they’d check his temperature. The rest of the kids could help with the wash this afternoon. She always let them have a few jumps on the beds after they’d stripped the sheets. There’d been no jumping on the beds at the county home. This day care was a hotel compared to that place.

  “Clary looks a lot like Maureen,” Albie said, separating laundry.

  “And they’re a lot alike,” Leefe said, tossing dish towels into the dirty clothes baskets. Clary’s story about Howard’s kiss amused her. Leefe’s experience had been different. The boys at the home, always older and bigger, would shove her into corners, kissing and touching her. She’d hit them too, not that it did much good. They’d just laugh and run. The adults in charge would ignore everything until someone got pregnant and then, of course, it was always the girl’s fault.

  The day they’d demolished the County Home, she and many others that had lived there had watched, silently savoring every loud crash of bricks, plaster, and wood. It had misted light rain, but no one moved. The construction workers had watched them, curious why they were there. Leefe had ridden back to the women’s shelter in a car that smelled like wet clothing. She’d showered and gone to work at the hospital, deeply satisfied.

  *

  Andy and Clary hadn’t caught a single fish, but she didn’t care. Her mind was still on the morning with Leefe and Devi. She’d felt Leefe’s tension at the day care as she had bent over her knees. Being close to Leefe was like anticipation, and the fascination of something different. While teaching, she constantly studied her students’ faces for comprehension. Looking into Leefe’s eyes was like hitting the jackpot of possibilities. Everything was there.

  Andy moved closer and asked about Piper’s classes. “You’re like your folks,” he said. “Always busy teaching or doing something in the community.”