Honor (Made Book 1)

by Melissa Ellen

  “Once again, I get the feeling you’re insulting me.”

  “The eye of the beholder,” he taunted.

  “Cut the bullshit, Declan. You’re wasting my time, a commodity I don’t have much of.”

  He considered me for a moment before uncrossing his arms and flattening his palms on the glass top, gripping the edge. “What do you remember about your mother?”

  “That one day she up and left us. Then years later, the police were at our door telling my father she’d died in a car accident.”

  “That’s not what I asked, Lena. I asked what do you remember, not what your father told you.”

  I considered his question carefully before responding this time. “I remember her laugh. That she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen…that she loved me and would never leave me if she hadn’t been forced to.”

  “All true statements, unlike the ones your father told you.”

  “I don’t understand. How could you possibly know that?”

  “Because I have the same memories of her.”

  “What? You knew my mother? How is that possible?”

  “Not your mother, our mother.”

  I shook my head, swearing I’d misheard him. “You’re lying.” The words came out in a rush, my pulse ringing in my ears—even though I knew he wasn’t. How had I not seen it before? We had the same eyes. Her eyes. The more I looked at him, the more I saw her in him.

  “You and I both know I’m not. I’ve never lied to you and I never will. I have no reason to, unlike your piece of shit father. The only thing I’d ever gain from lying to you about something like this is you turning against him and your fiancé. But, since we both know you already loathe them, lying is completely unnecessary.”

  “How? You’re not much younger than me.”

  “My father and our mother fell in love while she was married to your father. She’d been having an affair with him for years when she ended up pregnant with me. She hadn’t slept with Moretti since the day you were conceived.

  “Their marriage had been arranged and apparently your Italian ancestors had a custom of proving the marriage was consummated and the bride was pure by presenting the bloodstained bedsheets the morning after the wedding. It was the one and only time she had slept with your father, so when I was conceived, she couldn’t lie and say I was his. If he knew she’d been having an affair, he’d kill her. Especially if he’d found out she carried the child of a rival Irish mob boss.”

  “So, she ran.” I said the words more to myself.

  I knew everything he was saying was the truth. I knew of the custom and was thankful it hadn’t been carried on in recent years. I knew my mother had run, even if I hadn’t known why until now. Every word he was saying made perfect sense.

  He nodded.

  “She ran to save herself and you. But she left me alone with that evil bastard.”

  “She left him, not you,” he insisted.

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better? No matter how you spin it, she left me, too.”

  “She was coming back for you.”

  “When?” My temper flared. “She had years!”

  “The day she died!”

  My heart dropped, my hands clinging to the chair armrests. “He…he found out, didn’t he? He killed her.”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, God… Oh my—” I slid from the chair onto my knees. Hunched over, the tears came fast and hard as I quietly sobbed into my hands.

  I felt a hand at my back as he lowered to a squat beside me. It was far from comforting, but I’d take it.

  “It’s not your fault,” he tried to assure me.

  “If she hadn’t—”

  “Don’t,” he demanded through clenched teeth. “The only man responsible is Moretti. It was his doing. His order.” His tone was hard, his words laced with a hatred that surpassed mine.

  As my tears slowed and dried, I inhaled a few deep breaths and looked up at Declan, finally managing to speak. “His order… Who carried it out?”

  “I don’t know for sure…but if I had to guess, I’d say Ricci.”

  I looked away, trying to process everything. Given the timing, I assumed he was referring to Lorenzo’s father. It’s like all the puzzle pieces were falling into place effortlessly. Feeling more lost than ever, I quietly asked, “What am I supposed to do now?”

  “Go home.”

  I snapped my eyes back to him, my mouth hanging slightly open as I swiped at my tear-stained cheeks. “You can’t be serious.” I’d been able to pretend for years, but that was before my suspicions were confirmed.

  “I am. The safest place for you right now is at home. If he suspects you know anything…”

  “You think he’d kill me.” Once again, my apparent half-brother did little to set me at ease.

  “I don’t know for sure. But I wouldn’t put it past him. No offense.”

  “Is that why you’re here in New York? To get revenge?”

  “Yes. And to meet you. I needed to know whether you were loyal to your father and if you were going to be a problem that needed handling.”

  A harsh laugh escaped from my mouth. “And if I was a problem…you’d what? Kill me?”

  “Honestly?”

  “I wouldn’t want you to ruin your track record now,” I smarted.

  He shrugged casually. “I don’t know. I had high hopes it wouldn’t come down to that, so I didn’t give it much thought.”

  I didn’t know how to feel about his response, but I appreciated his honesty. It was more than any other member of my family had given me. I placed a hand on the chair while he helped me to my feet. I slumped back down into the seat across from his desk, resting a hand over my uneasy stomach.

  “What happens with us now? Are you expecting family holidays together? Despite your honesty, I don’t exactly trust you any more than I do him.”

  “I don’t expect you to. But regardless, I’m here if you ever need anything.”

  I stood, not wanting to be here any longer and knowing at any minute Gia could have the police or worse, Mario, busting in here. “I have to go.” I walked toward the door in a stupor.

  “Lena.”

  I looked at him over my shoulder.

  “Anything. I mean it.”

  I nodded, then left as quickly as my feet would carry me.

  I woke to the sound of the shower spray hitting the tile floor, my heart racing from a nightmare. My conversation with Declan plagued me, even in my dreams.

  After my secret meeting with him, I rushed home and waited anxiously for Mario to pick me up, praying it would be before my father returned home. My prayer was answered.

  Mario arrived an hour after I’d made it back to the penthouse. He loaded my bags in the Town Car, and we left the city behind to spend the weekend at a cabin in the Catskill Mountains. After my emotional breakdown, the late start to our trip, and the nearly three-hour drive, I passed out as soon as we arrived.

  I looked toward the cracked bathroom door, a thin beam of light peeking through and illuminating Mario’s discarded clothes. Relieved to know he was there and I was safe, I rolled to my side, making room for him.

  The shower shut off and a few minutes later, the bed dipped as he cocooned me with his body, his arm curling around my waist. I covered his hand with mine as he kissed the back of my head, the gesture stirring the butterflies in my stomach. A tingle started in my arms, spreading like wildfire under my skin.

  “What time is it?” I asked while fighting back a yawn.

  “Late. I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “It’s fine. Get some rest. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

  Neither having the energy nor wanting to object, I closed my eyes, falling back into a deep sleep.

  The next morning, I sat on the bed between Mario’s bent legs, my back pressed to his chest as he toyed with my fingers.

  “Will it work?” I asked
.

  He seemed confident as he laid it all out there. I didn’t know how he could be. There were too many factors, too many things that could go wrong.

  “Yes. It has to,” he said adamantly. He brought my wrist to his lips, pressing a kiss on the underside.

  “I can help.”

  “No,” he replied sternly.

  I twisted in his arms to face him. “I can. I can look through his office, see if I can find something. Or, I don’t know, try to get close to Lorenzo.”

  “Not just no, but fuck no, Lena. There’s no way I’d ever ask you to do that.”

  “You didn’t.”

  “Regardless, I don’t want you doing either of those things. It’s too dangerous. If your father caught you snooping or Lorenzo figured out your game, they’d kill you. And I can’t even stand to think about that... Do you have any idea what it would do to me if that happened?”

  “Yes!” I snapped back. “The same thing it’ll do to me, because I know they’ll kill you too if they find out.”

  His eyes held mine for a beat. He wasn’t about to promise that wouldn’t happen. Mario didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep. It’s what bothered me the most about our conversation.

  Instead, he hauled me close to his chest. “If anything happens to me, you go to plan B. You get yourself out like we discussed.”

  I gnawed on my lip as I reluctantly nodded my head. I hated not being able to help him. It was because of me he was even in this position. I didn’t know what I could do, but I knew if it came down to it, I would do whatever I could to make sure Mario got out of this alive.

  My stomach plummeted as I registered the ring on my finger. It might as well have been handcuffs. “I need to tell you something.”

  “I already know,” he said softly, running his fingers through my hair and down my back.

  I pulled away once again. “Did they tell you?”

  “Not exactly. I knew you were hiding something from me. And it didn’t take me long to figure out my family knew.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I get it. I don’t like that you didn’t tell me, but I’m glad you at least had enough sense to tell Ma and Gia and not go at it completely alone.”

  His words made me feel even worse for not telling him sooner. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “You’re wrong. You deserve everything and more. I just hope I can love you the way you truly deserve.”

  “I lied to you.”

  “And I killed someone, yet you still forgave me.”

  I dropped my gaze to my hands. “He’s my brother… Declan’s my half-brother. My ma—she was pregnant with him when she ran. It’s why she left.”

  He didn’t say a word. I peeked back up at him, seeing something in his expression that told me the news wasn’t a surprise to him. It was only for a moment, then his usual unreadable countenance slipped over it like a cloak. But I didn’t question whether there was deceit hiding there. I didn’t think I could handle any more truths today. Between finding out I had a brother and learning Mario’s plan to get us away from my father, my mind and nerves were frazzled enough.

  His stomach growled and he gave me an apologetic smile.

  “I need to feed you.” I grinned weakly, relieved to change the subject. “Your ma will kill me if I let you starve.” I shifted, starting to scoot from his lap, when his hand grasped my arm lightly. I stopped to look at him.

  “Lena…about Declan being your brother—”

  “Let’s not talk about it, okay? I’m not ready. I think I just needed to say it out loud to someone.”

  “Okay,” he agreed half-heartedly.

  I quickly kissed his cheek and slipped away. With my bare feet padding across the floor, I walked into the kitchen, searching for something for us to eat.

  The pantry was nearly bare, so I moved on to the fridge. “We’re going to need to go to the store,” I hollered as I stared at the empty shelves and rummaged through the drawers.

  “I can go if you want to hang out here. I saw you eyeing that bathtub last night.”

  He was right. I had been eyeing it. A warm bubble bath sounded perfect, exactly what I needed. I closed the fridge door, spinning to look at him as he walked into the kitchen, shrugging into a T-shirt, his jeans low on his hips.

  The tip of my tongue swiped across my lips as I watched the muscles disappear under his shirt, his bare feet closing the distance between us. He hooked an arm around my back, burying his face in the crook of my neck. His lips skimmed the delicate skin as he inched his hand down and under the silky nightgown I’d worn to bed.

  “Or I could take a bath with you,” he suggested, his voice low and gravelly.

  “We need to eat.” The pressure between my legs was already building as his hand began to tease the area expertly.

  “Forget food. I can just eat you.”

  I laughed, planting my hands on his chest as I shoved off and walked to the pantry to grab the box of Goldfish crackers I’d seen earlier. “How would I explain that one to your ma when she asked if I fed you well?”

  He groaned. “You tell her very well. And are you trying to kill the mood? Because mentioning my ma is a sure way to do it.”

  Shaking my head, I passed him the box of crackers. He reached in, taking a handful and funneling them into his mouth.

  “First, crackers. Then, bath, and—”

  “Sex,” he interrupted my to-do list.

  I laughed, my arms straight, elbows locked, keeping him at bay once again when he tried to pounce. “Groceries,” I continued, “while I take a bath. Alone. Then sex... If, you’re good,” I added as I sauntered away, heading back to the bedroom, the giant claw tub calling my name.

  I jolted to a stop as his hand landed with a loud smack on my ass. Swiveling my head, I glared at him. “You’re asking for it,” I warned with a pointed finger.

  “Ohhh, I’m asking for it all right.” He grinned, unashamed. “The question still remains whether you’re going to keep teasing me with that ass of yours or give it to me.”

  My lips puckered with a repressed smile as I continued my way to the bathroom, ignoring his desperate plea, and hollering over my shoulder, “Make sure you get me some wine!”

  “Tease,” he grumbled from behind me.

  “You like it,” I piped back confidently.

  As I entered the bathroom, I heard his sexy chuckle rumble in the distance. I smiled to myself. The road ahead of us was dark, but knowing there would be more moments like these to look forward to would make it all worth it.

  15

  Lena

  I tugged at my jeans, pulling them over my hips, zipped them up, and untucked the shirt I was wearing. I reached for the engagement ring on the bedside table out of habit, sliding it onto my ring finger. I stopped midway, staring down at it. I heard a car door shut outside the cabin, breaking me out of my daze. Removing the ring, I moved quickly to my bag, stuffing it in the side pocket.

  Mario opened the front door, returning from the store just as I finished getting dressed after my bath. His hands were overloaded with grocery bags as he walked through, managing to carry them all in one trip from the car. He unloaded them on the kitchen counter as I walked into the room.

  Wanting to help, I started to unpack the bag closest to me. “I hope you got more than just a bunch of junk food,” I said, pulling out the bag of marshmallows lying on top.

  He gave me a goofy grin as he looked at the white, sugary treats. “I saw some stacked logs on the side of the cabin. Figured we could roast them over a fire tonight.”

  I scrunched up my nose, tossing him the bag to put in the pantry.

  “What?” he asked in feigned offense as he placed them on a shelf. “Don’t tell me you’ve never had a roasted marshmallow before.”

  “I’m a city girl and you’ve known me my whole life... Are you really that surprised by this?”

  The trip to the mountains was completely out of the ordinary for me, but right
up Mario’s alley. Any other time, I would’ve chosen a weekend at a resort spa, filled with pampering and massages, but I knew Mario and I needed some privacy without the fear of witnesses. Renting a cabin in the mountains provided that. I was glad Declan had come along when he did, keeping my father preoccupied to the point that he hadn’t even questioned my choice of weekend retreat.

  “You have no idea what you’re missing out on,” he said, coming up behind me, snaking his arms around my waist. “But don’t worry, bella. I plan to expose you to all the things you’ve missed.” He planted a kiss on my neck, releasing me all too soon, for my liking, to put away the rest of our groceries.

  “Like what?” I gathered the last of the empty bags, stuffing them under the kitchen sink.

  “Like hiking in the fresh mountain air.”

  “I’m starting to think we aren’t compatible at all,” I teased.

  He responded swiftly, sweeping me up into his arms and over his shoulder, giving my ass a light smack. “Now who’s asking for it?”

  A laugh bubbled from me. I squealed as he brought me back down, keeping me cradled against his chest, carrying me down the hall of our one-bedroom cabin. “What are you doing?” I linked my hands at the base of his neck.

  “I’m checking off the next item on your to-do list.”

  My head fell back as I laughed whole-heartedly at the wide grin on his face. He seemed happy and relaxed. It was contagious, and I found myself loosening up and falling under his carefree spell.

  The branches swayed in the wind high above us. The sound of rustling leaves and the cries of birds didn’t help the eerie quietness. I was used to noise, lots of it: honking horns, sirens, yelling New Yorkers.

  “Isn’t this great?” Mario asked, looking over his shoulder at me as I trudged along behind him on the rocky dirt trail.

  His smile reminded me of when we were kids and he discovered a new cheat code to one of his video games. I’d sit with him for hours, watching him play in the basement of their home. I never cared much for the games, but it didn’t matter. All I ever cared about or wanted to do was spend more time with Mario.