Indelible Love Jake's Story

by D. W. Cee

  “What’s on your mind, Beautiful?”

  “Um… I was wondering whether or not I should kiss you.”

  What an odd thought. “Why would you wonder that? What’s stopping you?”

  “Because you kissed another woman – a vile but stunning woman – this morning.”

  “But I didn’t kiss her! She kissed me.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Your lips touched. They’ve been defiled as far as I’m concerned.” She fell to her back and started laughing.

  I pounced on her and covered her mouth with mine regardless of how she felt about Allison or PDA. Locked in our embrace she didn’t resist. Our closeness lasted longer than I would have ever anticipated in public.

  “Jake?” Eventually pulling away she called out my name with gentleness. “How did you know Parisian macarons are my favorite dessert? I don’t think I ever told you this, did I?”

  A bit of a random question but I could tell this was important to her. So many times she fell into a child-like awe and wonder about my attitude and feelings for her. She still didn’t get her place in my life. There was none higher than Emily on my scale of importance – apologies to my parents and siblings.

  “You have this almost wistful look in your eyes when you talk about or see something you like.” She looked excited when I told her this.

  “That’s exactly what my mom used to tell me. While you call it wistful, she called it covetous. How boring and predictable am I when you’ve figured me out this easily and so quickly,” she sighed.

  “On the contrary, I find you to be the most interesting and desirable woman I’ve ever met. I can’t get enough of you!” I declared.

  “That’s only because I’m the one girl who hasn’t jumped into bed with you on the first date.” With that she proceeded to take a bite of each of the macarons and finish only the ones she liked.

  This weekend had come and gone far too quickly and to my chagrin, reality awaited my return to LA. Paused on the tarmac, Emily couldn’t keep her eyes open. I pulled her into me and held her to sleep. While she dozed off, I finally professed what I’d been wanting to tell her all weekend.

  “I love you, Emily,” I whispered and kissed her off to sleep.

  Chapter 9 Do You Love Me?

  After an entire weekend with my love I got up early to visit her before heading to work. Today would probably be an insane day since the hospital left me alone all weekend. I figured Emily would be asleep and would jokingly scold me for waking her up. With a croissant and a latte, I sped to her doorstep.

  Ding Dong. The door opened immediately.

  “Good morning, Beautiful.” I planted a longing kiss on her as it had been a whole six hours since we last saw each other. I continued my kiss even though I heard Sarah’s annoying attempt to break us up.

  “Hello!” Sarah demanded.

  “Hey, Sarah. What are you doing here so early?”

  “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

  “What are you both doing here at this hour” was Emily’s attempt to join in our conversation as the phone rang and Sarah ran to answer it.

  Emily wondered why I was here so soon after a date. She knew it would be a crazy day for me as well. I asked her to come by the hospital to have lunch with me since I probably wouldn’t see sunlight today.

  She laughed. “Oh? What time should I come by for lunch?”

  I was about to give her a random time when Sarah yelled over to tell her that Max and Peter wanted to have lunch with Emily. My sour look reappeared.

  With a wicked smile, Emily asked, “Well, Dr. Reid? Lunch today? I’ve got another offer on the table. Can you match that?”

  I knew I couldn’t. “No. Go ahead and have lunch with your ex. I don’t know when I’ll get out of surgery.” After spending a wonderful weekend together, the thought of Emily being with Max bugged me.

  Emily made some snide remark about not kissing Max like I had kissed Allison and sent me off for the day. My mood spiraled south.

  My day at the hospital was worse than expected. I was thrown into surgery then went to assist the Chief with his operation. When I got out, it was almost 1:00pm. Work kept me so busy, I actually forgot about Emily. I wondered if she was still at lunch. I texted her.

  Are you done with lunch yet? You did keep your promise with Max?

  She answered immediately.

  What promise? I didn’t make you nor Max any promises did I?

  She loved toying with my emotion. I was definitely the weaker link.

  Yes, you did! You weren’t going to allow him anywhere near you.

  Well, he picked me up, drove me to lunch and is now sitting next to me. Does that break my promise to you?

  Are you kidding me? was what I wanted to write. Instead I wrote,

  Emily! This isn’t funny. You’re torturing me.

  I’m not the one who kissed another woman in the middle of our weekend together.

  I would live to hear this story the rest of my life.

  I thought you said you’re going to let that one go. I promise! I didn’t kiss her back. When will lunch be over? You want to come visit me at the hospital?

  I don’t know when lunch will be over and no, I don’t want to go to the hospital anymore. After the ER incident, I’m afraid of doctors now. Everyone at my table is giving me an unpleasant look because I’m ignoring them while texting you. Come over tonight and I will consider whether or not I want to kiss you since you’ve now reminded me of Allison. I have to go. Bye.

  “Jake.” I turned to see the Chief calling me. “David is coming by in a few minutes, you want to have lunch with us?”

  “Okay, where are we going?”

  The Chief’s phone rang. “Let’s go,” he said, “David’s outside.”

  Uncle Dave picked us up and we arrived at dim sum and found Mom and Dad waiting for us as well.

  “Hi Mom. Hi Dad.”

  “Hello, Son, long time no see. How was your weekend?” Mom asked with a knowing smile.

  “You didn’t talk to Jane, yet?” I answered.

  “We talked to her last night but I thought I’d get your version as well.” Mom smiled again.

  “I heard you dropped a pretty penny at French Laundry,” Uncle Dave added to our conversation. “Thomas Keller told me you added every supplemental item to your meal. I assume you enjoyed it?” He too had a knowing smile.

  “So obviously, you all know I had a good weekend. What answers are you exactly looking for?”

  The Chief also joined in. “So is she still the one after two full days together? You’ve never once spoken of marriage till this Emily came along.”

  “She is most definitely the one! This weekend only solidified what I already knew.”

  The dim sum cart started coming around and everyone began picking their favorites. I saw my mom choose the shrimp and scallop har gow; Uncle Dave picked out the pan-fried dumplings; Dad decided on the siu mai and the Chief picked Chinese broccoli and shrimp rolls. I picked a deep fried pork dumpling and I thought of how much Emily would have enjoyed having lunch with us. There wouldn’t have been anything she didn’t like at our table.

  “So what makes her the one? After years with Kelley, you never mentioned marrying her. Were you too young back then?” This time my dad wanted to know.

  Considering how close we were as a family, it was only fitting that every Reid expressed not only curiosity, but also concern about my relationships.

  “Dad, when you meet her, you’ll understand. She is such a sweet person. She’s honest and open and down to earth. She’s had a tough life. Her dad died when she was thirteen and her mom followed him when Emily was only seventeen. At times, I see signs of loneliness and sadness but rather than being down on life, she’s playful and affectionate and heartfelt. I can’t get enough of this girl.”

  “Does she feel as strongly about you?” That was a legitimate question from Uncle Henry.

  “Not yet, I don’t think. Because she’s been alone for so
long, I think she wants to lean on someone entirely, but is also afraid to do so. She told me this weekend she felt abandoned by her parents for leaving her so early.” I decided to leave out the part about Max and their four years together. This wasn’t something I wanted anyone to know since it wasn’t important to her or me.

  I saw my mom start to tear. “How heart breaking to lose not just one parent but both of them so early in life. I will definitely dote on her when I meet her in Hawaii.” Knowing Mom, she would most assuredly do so. “Jane called to say Emily was wonderful. She told me they made a pact to be sisters regardless of what happens to your relationship.”

  “I guess we have a new Reid in the family. We can’t wait to meet her next week,” Uncle Dave declared as we finished up lunch.

  The rest of the day flashed by. When I got to Emily’s doorstep it was already midnight. The lights were off but I couldn’t resist seeing her. I had missed her all day.

  Ding Dong. The lights turned on like a domino effect – the family room, the kitchen, the dining room to the living room.

  Incredibly excited to see my love, I wanted to hug and kiss her the moment I saw her. Instead I was shocked to see Emily’s face.

  “What’s the matter, Emily? Have you been crying?”

  “How’d you know?” Her face looked even more surprised than mine.

  “Your eyes are puffier than a marshmallow. Why were you crying?” We walked hand in hand and while I went off to the couch, she went to look at her eyes in the mirror.

  “Does this have something to do with your lunch with Max today?” I knew her meeting with Max would be a bad idea. I hoped he didn’t undo all our progress this weekend. “Do you mind telling me what happened?”

  Without missing any detail, she told me Max regretted breaking up with my girlfriend when she was his girlfriend. When I asked her how she felt about Max’s regret, she gave me all the right answers but I still couldn’t understand why she had cried.

  “If you don’t want a relationship with Max and it is me you want, why were you crying?”

  She was at a loss for words. Thinking about this for a few seconds, she answered, “I cried because a lot of the pain I felt after we broke up resurfaced. Those were the words I wanted to hear eighteen months ago, not now. Maybe I was angry at him for…”

  “Waiting this long?” I finished her sentence. “Do you want to get back together with him but can’t because of me? Am I in your way?”

  What possessed me to ask these questions and leave the balance of our relationship up to her was beyond me. I guess I needed to know her answer.

  “No! I want to be with you, Jake.” She hugged me tenaciously, body shaking. “Please don’t think that. Please, please believe me when I tell you how much I cherish our relationship.”

  With such ardor, I was happy to have asked my questions. I brought her close to me and attempted to understand her.

  “Emily, explain to me what’s on your mind. There must be something lingering in your heart for Max for you to be in such anguish.”

  “To be honest, I don’t exactly know what hold Max still has on me, if any. I know there’s no more connection between us but why I still hurt so much when he brings up the past, I can’t explain.” She looked guilty again. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. This is the kind of stuff I don’t want you to see. What I do know is that in the short while we’ve been together, you’re the one I want to be with, not Max.”

  I decided at this point it was time to tell her how deeply I felt. I’d held back as long as I could. “Emily, I’m not letting you go anywhere. We are not separating for any reason. I can’t imagine my life without you anymore and I hope you feel the same way about me. You must know by now how much I love you. I can’t believe I’ve waited this long to tell you. “

  I saw more signs of hesitation.

  “And by the look on your face you don’t quite reciprocate?” I asked to be sure.

  “Jake, I’m not there just yet,” she answered half shrugging her shoulders.

  “Emily, are you really not there? I think you’re just afraid to admit it.”

  “To me, when I tell someone I love them, it’s a forever kind of word. I can’t take it lightly. Forever is not in my vocabulary just yet with us.”

  I got angry again. “Why do you keep saying that? Didn’t you tell Max you loved him? Why are you so negative about us all the time? Do you think I take the words ‘I love you’ lightly? The words ‘love’ and ‘flippant’ do not coexist in my vocabulary either. This appears to be a weekly argument with us.”

  “I’m sorry, Jake.” She had a coquettish but apologetic smile as she sat on my lap and put her arms around my neck. “Can we not argue about this, again? Just give me a little more time? Please?” She had perfected the art of flirting with my hope.

  “You can’t admit you love me and you refuse to have sex with me. Why am I still here with you?”

  “Because you love me.” She answered before propositioning my lips.

  The next day I stopped by with breakfast but had to leave within minutes when I got paged. I came back fairly late in the evening to find dinner waiting for me.

  “What’s for dinner?”

  “Spaghetti, chopped salad, and garlic toast.”

  “That smells good! I brought a cheesecake for dessert.” I held up the bag to show her. “Should I put it in the fridge?”

  “Uh-huh. Can you get out the iced tea I put in there? Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat.”

  “How was your day?” Emily asked nonchalantly not realizing how much she sounded like a wife asking her husband about his day.

  I delighted in her question and forgot to answer.

  “Are we not talking tonight?” She stared at me.

  “My day started off intense but slowed down after lunch. What did you to all day?”

  “I did just about nothing. I read a book, went grocery shopping and made dinner. I think I could live like this for a while.”

  “Me too,” I answered but she didn’t understand my comment.

  “Jake…” It was never a good sign when she dragged my name. Either I was in trouble or she needed to confess something. “Can I ask you something that’s been bothering me since I saw Allison this weekend?”

  “You’re not going to bring up the kiss, again, are you?”

  “No, not this time.”

  “Then what’s bothering you?” I tried to think through all the things Allison said and did while Emily was present. There wasn’t much else that happened, I didn’t think.

  “Well…”

  “Emi, just spit it out.”

  “Well… when I met Allison, I noticed she had a similar… never mind. I’m being silly. Finish your dinner. Let’s talk about something else.”

  I dropped my fork. “I’m not eating anymore till you finish your thought. What is it?”

  She hesitated for a long while then tried again. “I noticed Allison had a similar ring as mine and I wondered if you had given that to her.” Her head dropped immediately. I just hoped she wasn’t crying.

  “Emily, what ring? I didn’t give her any ring.” Furiously I searched my brain for a mental picture of Allison’s finger that morning. I also did a quick jog through my memory to make sure I hadn’t given her anything that significant.

  My girlfriend didn’t look convinced.

  “It’s okay if you have.” She tried to back pedal. “I don’t mind.” Obviously she did. “I shouldn’t have asked. Sorry…”

  “Emi, I promise you, I haven’t given her any gifts. I don’t know what ring she had on but it wasn’t from me.”

  “Okay.” She answered and took a big awkward bite of her spaghetti.

  “You don’t believe me, huh? I promise it wasn’t from me.”

  Emily didn’t say anything but continued eating.

  “Alright, let me tell you about all the girls I’ve dated and what I’ve given to each one of them so you will believe me when I tell you I’ve given no girl a ring
in my life but you. You are the only one.”

  Comically, Emily’s eye bulged and she cringed at the can of worms she’d opened. Purposely and tediously I named every girl I’d ‘dated’ even the ones I had a crush on in elementary school and told Emily about each and every gift a girl or woman got from me. It started with the girl in first grade who received a pink pencil from me all the way to Kelley who received several Tiffany trinkets, to books to a trip to Mexico. I gave the names of all the other women I’d gone on a date with and where we went and what we did, to the best of my memory. For the sake of our relationship, I didn’t outline all that I had done on my dates and filled in the blanks to some I really couldn’t remember.

  “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry. I believe you. I don’t need to hear any more. It’s not that I didn’t believe you the first time, I felt stupid having asked that question. I was jealous.”

  “No, I think you need to hear more.” I punished her with copious details, many of which were unnecessary but made my adventures even more drawn out. Towards the end of the story, all Emi could do was laugh. I had made my point. She conceded a loss.

  “You can be so mean sometimes,” she accused.

  “Oh, you charge me with giving Allison the same ring you have on and tell me I’m the one who’s being mean?”

  “I’m sorry. How can I make this up to you?” The banter began again.

  “Will you let me stay the night?”

  She gave me a seriously look.

  I’ll sleep in the guest room. Just let me stay here tonight.

  “I think it’s time for you to leave.” Emily got up and started clearing the dishes. “We’ll have the cheesecake tomorrow night. Will you be back?”

  “Can I stay tomorrow night?” I didn’t let up.