Indelible Love Jake's Story

by D. W. Cee

  “I don’t care,” I responded in between my lips staying busy on her body and my hands trying to undo all the buttons on her dress. Today of all days, she had to wear a complicated dress. I had half her dress undone and Emily stopped protesting and started participating. Almost done, victory was only a few buttons away.

  Then there was a loud knock on the door.

  “Jake… Oh Jake…” It was Nick, my own brother, keeping me from the finish line.

  “GO AWAY!” I yelled at him.

  “Mom told me to come and get you and Emily. Everybody’s waiting. Dinner’s about to begin. Come out soon or I’m going to have the Chief come up and get you,” Nick started bellowing. He knew I was irritated.

  "Nick, I'm going to remember this next time you have a girl up in your room," I threatened.

  Emily jumped out of bed as soon as I got off of her body. She laughed though I knew she too was sorry it ended.

  "Jake…” I heard Emily call my name but was in such a foul mood I didn’t answer her. “Jake. Can I give you your Christmas present before we go down?”

  Like a child, my face lit up at the talk of a present. Emily walked over to her purse and brought out a book that was nicely tied together with ribbons and a bow.

  “What is that, Emi?”

  “You have to promise me one thing,” she said before giving me the present.

  “Okay. I promise.” Without even hearing what it was that I was promising to, my head bobbed yes.

  “This is a journal I started writing soon after we met. I wrote in it after every date or conversation or even a fight. My initial intention was to journal my feelings and thoughts. This wasn’t written for anyone to read but myself. When I thought about what I wanted to give you for Christmas, I knew you would most appreciate my heart. Whatever I felt during our time together… it’s all in here.”

  My mind was in a state of shock. She was actually going to open herself up completely to me and show me all that was in her heart. This was huge progress. I would have to propose again very soon. She was almost there – ready to take that last step. I loved this girl infinitely and now I knew for sure she loved me just as much.

  “I’m sorry I’m so frustrating. You’re a patient man to deal with someone so indecisive. This journal will hopefully answer all your questions and take away any doubt you might still have about us.”

  She left me speechless.

  “Okay, so back to the promise.” She pulled away from my embrace. “You can’t read this till after I leave.”

  “Why not? If you wrote it you know everything that’s in there.”

  “It’s embarrassing. You can enjoy it when I’m not around. I also don’t want to see your ego blowing up page by page. Your head may burst.”

  “Can I take a peak before dinner?”

  “No! I’m taking this back if you don’t keep your promise, okay?”

  “Alright. I promise. I can’t wait to read it.” I had an eager smile. I would have to start tonight.

  “I’ll leave it over here on your bookcase.”

  Half way down the hall, Emily stopped me again. “I love you, Jake and I'm really happy to be here with you," she professed.

  I swept her off her feet again and tried to take her back to bed, but she forced us downstairs.

  My poor Emily greeted the entire family and tried to memorize all their names. Mom had hors d’oeuvres laid all around the living room and I saw Emily’s attempt to eat fail each time as she got accosted by an aunt or uncle or cousin.

  “She’s super hot!” Doug came up to me and whispered. “Where did you say you met her? Does she have a sister? Isn’t she more my age than yours?”

  I whacked him on the back of his head. “Don’t even think about it. She will soon be your cousin, not a possible date.”

  Aunt Barbara also came up to me to rave about Emily. “She’s so sweet. I approve of her whole heartedly.”

  “Thanks, Aunt Babs.”

  Mom sat us in the middle of the table so Emily could converse with as many people as possible.

  “Jake,” Emily whispered.

  “Yes, Love?”

  “Who is sitting across from you? I can’t remember her name.”

  “That’s Susan and next to her is Glen and they are with Uncle David and Aunt Deborah.”

  “I feel like I’m in school and there’s going to be a pop quiz on names and faces.” She sounded a bit worried.

  “You’re doing great. No one expects you to know everyone’s name tonight.”

  “Okay. Stay near me tonight. I might need you to keep reminding me who is who.”

  “Alright.” I leaned in to kiss her but of course Emily moved away and had a frantic please no PDA look on her face. I laughed and kissed her anyhow. I hadn’t seen her face turn rosy in a long while.

  The Chief monopolized my Emily from the onset of dinner. While the soup was being served he told her many unnecessary stories of all the staff members I’d dated. Though, I didn’t mind him telling her stories of all the women who wanted to date me.

  “Jake told me about many of these women. He sure did date a lot of girls…” She let out a cute sigh.

  “You must have had your share of dates, Emily. You’re absolutely beautiful. Men must follow you around all the time.” Uncle Henry said with a wink.

  “Thank you for the compliment but no, I didn’t date much. I was never as popular with men as your nephew has been with the ladies.”

  “You mean guys weren’t lined up to ask you out?” Sadie asked.

  Emily shook her head no. “Stupid me… I met a guy my first day in undergrad and I dated him all four years. Then, a year and a half and no dates later, I met your cousin and now I’m stuck again.” Her lips spread slightly and she had a devilish look in her eyes. “Maybe I should stop seeing your cousin and date around a bit, huh? Do you think I’ve missed out?”

  All my cousins shook their heads yes.

  “There are so many men in this world. Why commit to one for so long. How will you compare who’s the best if you haven’t dated other guys?” Susan asked.

  “Hey, let’s not give Emily any unnecessary ideas. And Emi, you are kidding, right? Don’t blame your college years on me. That’s when you should’ve dated around, not now.”

  Uncle Henry changed subjects and asked, “So, Emily, are you coming to the pre-party and football game with all of us on New Year’s Day?

  “Um, I don’t think so,” she answered. “I wasn’t invited. Plus, I’m a Bruin.”

  Every head turned our way and Emily got an ovation of boos.

  “Maybe I should leave,” she whispered in my ear. “They don’t like me here anymore.”

  I put my arms around her and kissed her head. “I love you and that’s all that matters.”

  She gazed into my eyes and whispered, “I love you too.”

  While we were enjoying our dinner, Gram called and asked to talk to her favorite grandchild.

  I gladly answered the call. “Hi Gram!”

  “Jakey, is Emily there?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Let me talk to her.”

  “What about me?” I asked but she insisted on talking to Emily. “She wants to talk to you,” I said handing over the phone.

  Emily quietly asked, “You have a grandmother?”

  I nodded yes.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? How shall I address her?”

  “I forgot and you can call her Gram.”

  Emily got on the phone and proceeded to have a long conversation with Gram.

  “Hello Gram, this is Emily. It’s very nice to meet you.”

  A frantic look donned Emily’s face as she answered, “I’m very sorry Gram but Jake never told me I was supposed to call you. But I’m thrilled to meet you! I lived with my grandmother since I was thirteen. Talking to you makes me miss her very much.”

  Gram must have asked if Emily’s maternal grandma was still alive because the tears flickered as she answered, “No. She
passed away a few years ago. Gram, why aren’t you here with the family? I wish I could have met you too.”

  What kind words my girlfriend shared with Gram. I was sure Gram liked Emily a lot. I went back to eating my prime rib when all of a sudden Emily gave me a horrified look.

  “Oh Gram,” she sounded so sweet. “Jake can be silly at times. How can he possibly think he loves anyone more than his grandmother? Plus, I’m not that pretty. It’s only in Jake’s eyes.”

  Women – no matter how old or young – their feelings got hurt so easily. Gram must have been complaining about the remark I made at Uncle Dave’s birthday. I turned to talk to the Chief about a patient when all of a sudden I heard Emily say, “He was treating me very well till this morning. He was mean to me and he made me cry.”

  That sounded an awful lot like her telling my entire family I had made her cry today. Clank, clank, clank… every forked dropped and all eyes glared at me.

  “Oh my gosh, Emily! I can’t believe you just told everyone I made you cry this morning.”

  “But you did,” she answered sadly. I didn’t realize I was dating an actress. Laughter was in her eyes but melancholy choked her voice.

  While Emily talked away with Gram, I defended myself against the women. They all ganged up on me and took Emily’s side.

  “How can you take the word of a person you just met tonight over your own flesh and blood? I promise it was me who should have been crying, not her. Ask her.”

  I turned to Emily for some help. She shrugged her shoulders, winked, and mouthed “I love you,” before she went back to eating her Chilean sea bass. I would have to get her back for this act of treason.

  With the meal over, we all sat around in the living room watching Mom get ready for our white elephant game. Emily sat on the couch with Doug and Nick noshing on her mini cheesecake square. I tried to squish between them but the sofa wasn’t large enough for the four of us and no one would move.

  “Go find your own seat,” Nick told me.

  “This love seat is meant for those in love. Why don’t you two get lost? Let me sit here comfortably with my love.”

  “Whatever,” Doug answered and didn’t budge.

  Refusing to sit on my lap, she offered to sit on the ground so I could sit next to my cousins. I sat on the ground instead as the game began. Emily was in for a treat as this was the only time the Reid family fought, cheated and stole from one another.

  “What gift did you bring, Emily?” I heard Nick ask.

  “I brought a movie gift card. What did you bring?”

  “I brought literally a white elephant statue.”

  “Eew! Which one is yours so I don’t pick it?”

  “I’m not telling.” He started to laugh.

  We all picked numbers and both of us got numbers towards the end. We had a good chance of ending up with decent prizes. Doug had the last number. He was excited.

  “Do you want to trade numbers, Doug?” I saw Emily try to work her charm.

  “Not a chance… well, maybe if you dump my cousin and agree to go on a date with me, then I’d be willing to trade numbers.”

  “Not a chance!” she mimicked him. That’s my girl!

  The first person to pick was Aunt Babs and she opened up an elaborate box. We all died laughing when we found an 8x10 autographed picture of the Chief in that box. Next was Nick and he picked a smaller box. In it was a box of chocolate from Fauchon in Paris. We all envied the gift until Nick followed the “open me” instruction on the box and found that each chocolate had been bitten into. That was another funny gift. Next was Glen and he opened a tiny box and there he found the golden ticket. There was always a “grand prize” Mom added to the pot and this year they were two floor seats to a Laker game.

  Emily’s eyes lit up. “Honey, can you get that for me. That’s what I want.”

  “You like basketball?”

  “I love basketball! Help me get those tickets.”

  “Okay.” Who knew my girlfriend liked basketball? I guess there were still many things I didn’t know about her.

  With the game done, everyone left content with their meal and happy to have spent time with one another. All my aunts and uncles came by to tell me how much they enjoyed meeting Emily and Emily said good bye to all the cousins, first, then to every aunt and uncle. By now, she knew everyone’s name and had memorized a mini bio of each person.

  My immediate family went upstairs tired from Hawaii and tonight’s dinner. Emily was the last one to leave. I still hadn’t come up with a good enough retribution for what she had done to me at dinner. She came towards me with her arms open and purposely I stepped away. Surprised, she couldn’t understand what was going on. I’d never rejected any of her advances.

  “I can’t believe you threw me under the bus, today. You’re so lucky I didn’t tell my whole family how you chopped up my proposal and my heart into pieces.”

  She knew she was in trouble. In her most tempting voice, she snuggled up to me and asked, “What can I do to make things better? I’ll make it up to you.”

  Although I knew this was not said in any suggestive way, I thought I’d push my luck. “Stay the night with me.” I demanded. Pause. Pause. Pause. I couldn’t believe it. She didn’t reject my demand.

  Before she could change her mind, I picked her up and hurried her up the stairs and into my room. Every room I passed - my parents’ room, Jane’s room, Nick’s room, and even up till I got to my room, I expected Emily to protest and beg me to let her go home. Instead she wrapped both her arms around me and laid her head against my own. Her consent spoke loudly through her silence.

  I lay her gently on my bed and looked into her eyes for any sign of hesitation. Without a doubt she desired to be with me tonight. Wanting tonight to be perfect, I didn’t rush anything. I wanted her to remember each kiss, each touch, each moment’s embrace. I wanted tonight to be as memorable for her as it would be for me.

  Unbuttoning her dress I looked into her eyes one more time. She gazed back at me but this time her thoughts went elsewhere. Her resolved fortitude briefly turned to doubt. I knew I had to stop. She was not ready to give up what she had fought so hard to keep all these years. Thirty years from now when she thought about her first night, I wanted her memories to be filled only with joy – without any regret. My fingers grudgingly placed the buttons back where they belonged.

  “Jake?” she quietly called my name. “What’s the matter?”

  It pained me to answer her. I wanted to be with her tonight in every way. “Emily, I’m content to just hold you tonight. We don’t have to do anything else.”

  “Why? What’s wrong?”

  “Sweetheart, as difficult as this is for me, I want to keep you as you are until we get married – and trust me, we will get married,” I promised her.

  She did her best to change my mind but we both knew she was grateful for my decision. Relief marked her face.

  “Jake… I’m okay. I want to do this for you… with you. I’d like to be with you tonight.”

  I appreciated her efforts to give me what I wanted. I’d made my intentions clear from the onset that I desired to be with her. I loved her for choosing me to give the gift she’s been holding on to all these years. But since this was a gift she could never retrieve, I didn’t want her to ever regret who this gift was given to. Only after she was married would she feel confident she had given this gift to the right person. It was only a matter of time before this gift came to me.

  Chapter 12 What Have I Done?

  We spent a beautiful night together. I woke up several times watching Emily sleep in my arms and I cherished her more this night than I had our entire two months together. I pulled her in as close to me as possible and hoped for more nights like these to come soon.

  Way too early, Emily woke up frantic. She pulled away telling me she had to go home and pack for her road trip.

  “What?” Where was she going without me, I thought. “You’re going somewhere?”


  “I’m going to Vegas with my college friends, remember? I have to leave right now.” She tried to get up.

  “Don’t go. Stay a little longer. I’ll fly you out to Vegas later today.” This would give me another hour with her before I had to go into the hospital.

  She wouldn’t go for it since everyone was supposed to meet at her house. She jumped out of bed the first chance she got and hurried out the door.

  “I’ll call you later. I love you.” She whispered and left the house.

  Whenever she told me she loved me, it sent shivers down my spine. I couldn’t believe she was finally admitting it. Those precious words lingered long after they were said. I too jumped out of bed and got ready to go see Emily before she left me for three days in Vegas with all her friends and one ex-boyfriend.

  “Where are you off to so early? Do you have an early surgery?” Mom and Dad asked as I ran straight for the front door without even noticing them at the breakfast table.

  “I’m off to see Emily before she leaves for Vegas with her college friends. Why are you both up so early? You must be tired from last night. It was a wonderful dinner, Mom. Emily and I enjoyed it very much, thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Son. Everyone seemed to enjoy meeting Emily. Compliments were overflowing last night on how sweet she was and how you two made a lovely couple.” Mom’s words were encouraging.

  “Gram called not too long ago and told us how pleased she was with Emily as well. She mentioned Emily sounded lovely and would take good care of her favorite grandson. She told me to make sure you treat her well and she wants you to bring her to London soon. End of March is too late, she says.” I’d have to talk to Emily and see if she could take a few days off and go for a long weekend to see Gram in the next month. Once Gram decided she wanted something, it had to be done, soon.

  “Alright, Dad. I’ll talk to Emily today and let her know. We’ll try to go see Gram within the month.”

  I drove to pick up breakfast for my love and got to her house right at 6:30. I didn’t see any cars outside so I assumed no one had arrived yet. Perfect. I’d have some alone time with her before she left. Walking up to her house, my phone rang.