Holding

by Jillian Quinn

  I kiss her cold lips and say, “We should continue this in the car where we have heat.”

  She smiles and peels herself from my body. “You look handsome, Shawn.”

  “You look gorgeous, as always.” I tilt my head to the side, and my eyes travel up the length of her legs. “I can’t wait to see what you have on beneath this coat.”

  Ella admires my dark slacks, dress shirt, and tie that peek out from beneath a leather jacket. I only get dressed when I have to attend formal fraternity functions. Otherwise, I stick to my usual jeans, shorts, or track pants and T-shirts. But tonight is special. I had envisioned this night in my head before I had known for sure that Ella was the masked girl.

  After I help Ella get into the SUV, I hurry around to the driver’s side and get behind the wheel. We rub our hands together in front of the heater, staring at each other with wicked grins.

  “So, where are you taking me?” Ella asks to break the silence. “You said to wear a dress, so I imagine it must be someplace fancy.”

  “Maybe I just wanted to see you in another dress.”

  “You just want to get me out of it,” she declares with a wink.

  I move the shifter into gear and loop around the circle and down the long driveway. “I’m not in any rush, Ella. We can take things however fast or slow you want.”

  “Because I’m a virgin.”

  I see her nose wrinkle out of the corner of my eye, as I exit the property and head toward the city.

  “Yes, that has something to do with not rushing things. But I don’t want you to feel as though you have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I have no expectations for tonight. All I want is to take you to dinner and spend some time with you away from school. That’s it. And I want to kiss you, of course. There will be lots of kissing.”

  “I’m glad that you respect me enough to understand that I want to take things slower than the girls you normally date.”

  “I don’t date girls. Only you, beautiful.”

  “Date, hook up, whatever you want to call it. You know what I mean, Shawn.”

  “This is my first real relationship if that at all helps,” I add.

  “Mine, too,” she confesses, folding her arms over her chest, as she sinks into the leather seat. “How crazy is that?”

  “Not crazy at all. I never had a girlfriend. At least not one that lasted more than a few days.”

  “Yeah, but you dated other girls. I never had the chance to do things normal people our age do.”

  “That’s why I am helping you make up for lost times. We can start with this date and go from there.”

  “And the Spring Formal,” she says. “I guess I have to figure out a more elaborate plan to sneak away for the weekend.”

  “Does it even matter anymore? You can go live with Mrs. F. She already offered for you to live with her. She has tons of money, a car for you to use to get to school instead of riding the bus, and you can get the fuck away from Clarissa and her bitchy daughters.”

  “I don’t want to impose, and I cannot ask her for money to get to school, even though she offered it to me. It feels weird to take a handout, regardless of her lineage.”

  “I don’t see the problem, babe. Your solution is right next door. Either take her money or deal with constant punishments and enslavement. The choice is simple.”

  “Easy for you to say when you would never take money from anyone. You are just as stubborn as me.”

  She’s right about that. I would never accept a cent from anyone. Even when I couldn’t afford my fraternity dues, and a few of my brothers had offered to loan me the money from their trust funds, I found other ways to make it up. They were semi-legal methods, of course, but it was better than begging for scraps to pay the bills.

  “So, what are you going to do then?”

  “I don’t know. Wait it out, I guess. I made it this long. I have less than two months.”

  “Time you could spend living your life instead of being oppressed by that witch. You should consider Mrs. F’s offer. It was more than generous, and she’s not some random person off the street who wants to help you out. She is family.”

  “I know that, Shawn. Thank you for reminding me. I’m sorry if my personal life cuts into yours, but this is all so new to me that I haven’t had the time to digest everything. I want to live with Mrs. F, believe me, I do, but I have to process it all.”

  I place my hand on her thigh, and she covers mine with hers, squeezing it. “Enough serious talk for the night. How about we focus on our date and what I have planned for us?”

  She tilts her head to the side and smiles. “That sounds perfect.”

  I wanted to cram as much as we could into one date. Ella should have the chance to experience everything possible, and I want to be the man to give it to her. But I also knew I had to lead with the easy ones first. I started with a candlelit Italian dinner in the city. Who knew I could be so romantic? Ella has changed me for the better. But that wasn’t my big plan for our date.

  When I pull up outside the rink, Ella turns to me and shakes her head, confused.

  “Are you we lost? This does not seem like a place you would hang out on a Friday night.”

  “It’s not, but I thought you would like it.”

  “True or false?” She asks, using my own game against me. “You brought me here because of what Tori told you? She’s the only person other than Mrs. F who knows about this part of my childhood.”

  I shrug, giving her a boyish smile. “True. You got me, babe. I asked Tori what she thought would be a good date since I haven’t done this before. She said to make it special and think outside the box.”

  “You never disappoint, Shawn.” She touches the side of my face with her hand and traces a line down my jaw with her finger. “Just being here with you is already special enough. But this is incredible.”

  “I was afraid you would think it was stupid.”

  “Nope, not even close. Roller skating is perfect. You might be good on your feet when it comes to football, but can you balance yourself on wheels?”

  “I’m good at all sports,” I counter. “Why would this be any different?”

  She grips my tie between her fingers and pulls me closer. “You are so cocky and always in charge.”

  “I’m confident. There’s a difference. And yes, I am always in charge.” I clasp her wrist and her lips part from my sudden reaction.

  No more words are required. I let our bodies do the talking and slip my tongue inside Ella’s mouth, gripping her hair, as I deepen the kiss. My other hand travels down her back and to her firm ass, but her thick winter coat is in the way of what I want. There’s always some layer of clothing between us, just like the night we met. For the life of me, I could not figure out how to get around that damn dress. Tonight is no different.

  With Ella being so pure and innocent, I cannot rush things. She’s not some sorostitute I picked up at a party that’s already down to fuck. I peel my lips from hers and sit back in my seat to give us some space.

  “The things you do to me, Ella,” I say, out of breath. “I have such a hard time controlling myself when I’m with you.”

  She digs her elbow into the armrest between us and leans over. “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean you will break me. Maybe I want you to break me. Have you thought of that?”

  As if I wasn’t already hard enough, my dick twitches at her comment. “Don’t say things like that, Ella.”

  “I want it to be you, Shawn. I want you to take my virginity.”

  Stripping Ella of her virginity would make some of my brothers more than happy to accept the challenge. But it’s not like that with us. Ella is not another girl for me to conquer, not even close. I like her a lot, maybe even more than that. Maybe even love.

  “When the time is right, okay?”

  “My timing is never right,” she hisses.

  “When it comes to us, our timing was always right. We found each other. I might have thought
I lost you after the party, but you were with me all along. I would say our timing is perfect. Do you remember what I told you about letting things happen on their own?”

  She nods. “Yes, but—”

  I hold my finger to her mouth to silence her. “No buts. Just let things happen, and when the time comes, I promise it will be special. That night will be everything you had ever imagined. I care about you too much to mess this up for you. Okay?”

  She stares at me for a few seconds, holding my gaze, before she finally speaks. “Whatever you say, handsome.”

  I open the door, not wanting to leave the comfort of my car. Winters in Philly are too fucking cold.

  “Are you ready to do this or what?”

  She bobs her head in agreement.

  Once we’re inside the building, I suddenly regret listening to Tori about taking Ella here for a date. Kids, ranging from toddler to teenager, are everywhere, screaming and skating past us in a hurry. The last time I did something like this, Delta Sig was throwing an event where we rented the place for the night. Only people from Strick U were allowed, and of course, there was lots of sex and a fuck ton of alcohol.

  I hook my arm around Ella and steer her toward the counter to get skates, keeping her on my side to allow people to pass. “I’m sorry about this. I had something different in mind when I planned our date. I guess I should have thought this one through, huh?”

  “Are you crazy? This is perfect. I can’t even remember the last time I got away from my house to do something off campus. And this is super sweet, Shawn. I love that you put this much thought into our date.”

  “Well, I love that you love it,” I say with a crooked smile. “I thought this would be more intimate with the lights turned down and plenty of places for us to hide in the dark.”

  “We can still do that,” she counters, licking her lips at me. “I’m sure we can find at least one hiding space in here. If you want, we can skip skating all together and go straight to making out in the dark.”

  “I always underestimate the good girls,” I say, laughing and meaning every word.

  “You should never underestimate me,” she says with a wink. “I might be predictable most of the time, but even you didn’t think I was the girl at the party because of it.”

  “No one could believe it,” I confess. “After I had gotten to know you, I thought the possibility was less each day, and then you reached for that charm, and well…we wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t do something unexpected.”

  She slides her arm around my back and clutches my waist. “I’m glad I did. You were the best risk I ever took.”

  “I know the feeling. You made me think I was crazy, running around campus in search of some girl in a mask. Do you know how many people thought I’d lost my mind? I had never done anything that bizarre until I’d met you.”

  “I felt bad watching you in action and knowing I could do something to end your misery.”

  “Misery is a good word for it. The guys in my house were concerned about me. Hell, they made fun of me just about every day.”

  She laughs to herself, covering her mouth with her hand. “I am sorry about that. I can only imagine the kind of shit you got from your teammates and fraternity brothers while you were going around campus with my charm and a picture, in search of a girl who you didn’t even know her name. I would have thought you were crazy, too, if I didn’t know you.”

  “The fact they knew me is what made it even more surprising.”

  “They don’t know you as I do.” She lets out an exaggerated sigh and leans into my side. “There is so much more to Shawn Finch than anyone realizes.”

  I bend down to kiss her on the forehead, stopping in front of the counter to give the attendant our skate sizes. “So are you, Ella Fitzgerald, and I’m planning to show you everything you have missed out on for the last four years.”

  After I pay, I grab our skates from the counter and drape them over my arm by the strings, guiding Ella toward the rows of benches over by the lockers. We sit side by side, our legs touching as we put on our skates. Ella stares at me the entire time, the sexual tension burning between us like wildfire.

  She wants me to be the one. I still can’t believe my sweet, innocent Ella muttered those words to me. She wants me to break her, and I get hard just thinking about all the things I would love to do with Ella. Hearing her say those things have stirred a deep aching inside me, but I am doing my best to take things slow. I have to show Ella that I am worthy of a girl like her.

  Some days, I feel as though she deserves better than a failing football player who drinks more than he studies. I stopped the drinking, and because of Ella and her long bus rides home, I study every night. She chose me. From the start, she made her decision. And she was always the girl of my dreams.

  Once I find a locker to store our things, we make our way onto the rink, holding hands. “I feel like we’re in high school all over again,” I admit, laughing.

  “I never got to do this when I was in high school with anyone other than my dad.” She stares off into the expanse of the rink, before meeting my gaze. “I miss him, you know. Every day. He would have liked you.”

  Overcome by emotions, I squeeze her hand tighter. I have no idea how to process them all at once. Ella makes me feel things I have never experienced before. “All of this is new for me, too. I wasn’t the same guy I am now in high school.”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “I have a hard time believing that the Shawn Finch had trouble with girls back in high school. They practically throw themselves at you, even when I am standing next to you.”

  “I don’t know about all that. The only girl I see is you.”

  “You’re such a smooth talker. Please regale me with your stories of how you were not hot and popular in high school.” She says this with so much sarcasm in her voice we both laugh.

  “It’s true. My first girlfriend, if you can even call her that, wasn’t until my freshman year of college.”

  “I’m sure that was by choice.”

  I shake my head. “Nope, not even close. When I was in high school, I was heavier and hadn’t grown into all the weight until I started training more to make the Senators. They didn’t even take me until my sophomore year. I was lucky I met Bash and Clay when I tried out freshman year for the team and that they both helped me get my shit together. I was way too shy to talk to anyone until after I joined my fraternity and grew a pair.”

  “I see you in a different light, Shawn, and I kind of like this version even better than the one I already know. I still find it hard to believe that you didn’t hook up with anyone until freshman year.”

  “I kissed girls, sure, but I wasn’t Homecoming King or anything like that.”

  “Not like you are now,” she says.

  “I’m not as popular as you think,” I retort.

  “You are delusional,” she challenges with a wicked grin. “How do you think I noticed you?”

  “You saw me playing football on the lawn in the Quad. That’s how.”

  “Yes and no. I was only in the Quad because everyone had told me about this super hot football player who reminded them of Rob Gronkowski.”

  “Talk about delusional,” I say, shaking my head. “I look nothing like Gronk.”

  She rakes her eyes over my body and licks her lips. “You do. You’re about the same height and build, and you play the same position. I had no idea who Gronk was until I Googled him since football doesn’t interest me. And you are someone worth talking about.”

  Swinging her around the rink I say, “I’ll give you something to talk about later.”

  Still holding my hand, she skates back to my side and runs her fingers down my arm with a sexy-as-fuck look in her eyes. “How about you show me now?”

  “Just let things happen, Princess,” I say, my willpower fleeting.

  Ella threads her fingers between mine. “Now, Shawn, I want you now. Not later. Not next week. Now.”

  Nearing t
he exit to the rink, I slide my hand from her waist and to her ass, giving it a squeeze that causes her to jump, as we go back to retrieve our things. “As you wish.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ella

  I have no control over myself when I am with Shawn, which causes me to do and say things that are so out of the ordinary. He brings out a different side to me that even I had no idea existed until we met. Our dinner was phenomenal, followed by the sweetest gesture at the skating rink. Shawn took me by surprise when he pulled up outside the one place that holds so many happy memories. Now, we are making our own memories.

  Straddling Shawn in the back seat of his SUV, I grind against his growing erection that is digging into my thigh. When he stops kissing me long enough to look into my eyes, he doesn’t speak, just gives me a crooked smile that goes right to my throbbing core. One look is all it ever takes. He’s all mine and no longer the most eligible bachelor on campus.

  Threading my fingers through his short blond hair, I slip my tongue inside his mouth, desperate for more. I can never get enough of Shawn. We have so little time alone that I have to be greedy tonight. It’s not often I get to escape from my dungeon and enter civilization. And it’s not every night I get to dry hump the hottest guy on campus in the back seat of his car. So, I am taking full advantage of this moment.

  Shawn palms the back of my head to deepen the kiss, each one growing more impatient. Heat spreads from my cheeks, down my arms, and to my thighs, intensifying an intense desire that only Shawn can satisfy. My body quivers in anticipation of sex, but I am nervous. Like super freaked out. But I’m ready to go all the way with Shawn, even if tonight is only the preview.

  Each day we spend together, I fall harder for him, and I know he feels it, too. What we have together goes beyond sexual chemistry or tension. We have a much deeper connection, a bond that draws us together like magnets. He makes me feel sexy, wanted, and most of all, secure.

  Shawn hikes my dress up to my hips and slides his hand up the back, as he unhooks my bra. I borrowed a vintage sweater dress from Mrs. F that stops below my knees with long sleeves that make it harder to rip this damn thing off. The skating rink parking lot wasn’t either of our preferred make out spots, but I could not wait any longer.