Revive (The Revival Series Book 1)

by Claire Thake

  Sitting up he put his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees, taking deep breaths in and out. What the hell was he doing? He didn’t want Ella, he was just using her as a distraction but he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t go through with using her when all he wanted was Carrie.

  “What’s the matter Dan? Not going to throw up are you?” Ella muttered pulling herself up to a kneeling position on the bed and putting her arms around his shoulders. Pushing her away Daniel stood up and walked across the room, needing to put as much space as he could between himself and Ella.

  “I’m sorry Ella I can’t do this” he muttered running his hands across his mouth, trying to wipe away the memory of her lips on his. He was disgusted with himself at how easily he had let her take control, and how easily he had fallen for her charm. She was a beautiful woman, he couldn’t deny that, but she wasn’t the woman he wanted.

  Ella turned and crawled into his bed, obviously not getting the message.

  “Had a few too many to get it up Dan? I’m sure I can help with that if you let me try?” She said fluttering her eyelids at him.

  “I’m sorry Ella, feel free to stay but I’m going to sleep on the floor” He answered grabbing his shirt off the carpet and putting it back on before grabbing the spare pillows from the top of the wardrobe.

  The look of shock on Ella’s face was obvious; she was rarely turned down, and never once inside someone’s room. She had genuinely missed Dan; he was always one of the nicer guys in the area and took care of her, even though he would never commit to a full time relationship. When he had left Ella assumed she would never see him again, and seeing him sitting alone in the bar tonight was like a dream come true, and now he was rejecting her.

  Ella pulled the duvet up around her shoulders and laid down on the bed, her head began to swim from the alcohol and her tummy felt like a washing machine, but it didn’t take long for her to fall asleep. If anyone else had turned her down she would have turned around and gone straight home, but she was determined to turn Dan’s head in the morning and change his mind.

  When the morning came round, Daniel stared up at the ceiling and rubbed his head, the memory of the shots answering the question of why he felt so bad. Sitting up, he stretched out his aching muscles from sleeping on the hard floor, before standing and glancing over to his bed.

  Ella was still sleeping and he really wanted to avoid a show down this morning. He grabbed some clothes and quickly changed in the bathroom, hoping she wouldn’t wake in the process, then he scribbled her a quick apology on the hotel note pad and left it on the bed, before grabbing his wallet and leaving the room.

  It had been a long time since Daniel had consumed so much alcohol in one go and the way he felt, reminded him not to do it again. Being on the farm involved early mornings and trying to work with a hangover would be dangerous with the machines involved.

  Daniel grabbed himself a newspaper from a stall, a coffee and a sausage bap from the nearby café and grabbed a table, each mouthful of liquid and bite of food slowly making him feel better physically but mentally he felt awful. He wasn’t the person he had been 4 years ago when he had lived here, and he should never have led Ella on the way that he did. It wasn’t fair on her.

  Opening the paper, he began reading all about what was happening with the world, hoping it wouldn’t be too long before he could return to his room and hopefully find Ella gone. He felt like a coward but he really didn’t want to have to face her, yet he needed more sleep and didn’t want to spend the entire day, roaming the streets of London.

  Chapter 12

  Concentrating at work that day was a nightmare for Carrie. She had made a promise to Leah to go and see Daniel and as the clocked ticked on, the butterflies in her stomach grew and fluttered wildly.

  When 5pm came around, she packed up her things and left the office, once again on time, for which she received a few odd looks from her colleagues who were used to her staying late every night. Ignoring their glances she made her way out of the building and hailed a cab to take her to Daniels hotel. It wasn’t far and she could have easily walked it but she thought if she did her feet may take her in the direction of home instead,

  Nervous at being in a London cab, Carrie gripped the door handle so hard her knuckles turned white, and the journey made her feel sick. The fear of crashing however replaced with a fear of seeing Daniel.

  Pulling up outside the hotel, Carrie paid the driver and took a deep breath before exiting and walking inside the building, she glanced at the piece of paper Daniel had given her with all the details and took note of the room number before making her way to the lifts.

  Waiting for the lift to arrive felt like an eternity and once the door opened she was shoved out of the way by a very angry looking girl, with red hair and what looked like yesterdays clothes, all wrinkled and obviously evening wear. Carrie chuckled as it was obvious whoever the girl had spent the night with obviously didn’t want to enjoy anymore of her company.

  Arriving at the correct floor, Carrie took slow steps in the direction of Daniels room. Stopping outside the door she took a deep breath before lifting her fist and knocking twice, debating whether to just run for it.

  The shock on Daniels face on seeing Carrie at his door was obvious, and he swallowed, not knowing what to say. Pulling himself together he invited her into the room, swearing to himself that he hadn’t come back sooner and tidied up and also feeling relieved that Ella had finally gone after what was a very unpleasant show down.

  The thought that Carrie arrived only minutes after he convinced Ella to finally leave, making him feel sick as that was the last thing he needed; for Carrie to find another woman in his room even if he couldn’t go through with it. Guilt crept through his body at what he had done and almost done the night before and he wanted to kick himself for being so stupid.

  “I’m sorry about the other night” Carrie muttered “It was a shock, I didn’t expect to see you again”

  “Please don’t apologise, I should have let you know I was coming, it was my fault” he said feeling awkward standing, so taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

  “Why did you come here Daniel?” Carrie asked, not really knowing what she wanted to hear

  “You want to the truth?” he asked and Carrie nodded slightly

  “I’m not sure, if I’m honest. Ever since I met you Carrie, I can’t get you out of my head, and trust me I have tried. When you left it hit me just how much I cared for you. I know it sounds mad and I wish I could explain it without sounding like a crazy person, but there’s something here that I’ve never felt before, a connection I feel with you that I just can’t ignore”

  Daniel could feel the blood rushing through him, and his cheeks redden. It was all laid out on the table now, and he was expecting a rejection and braced himself for her harsh words to come, but they didn’t, only silence. Looking up at her he could see silent tears rolling down her cheeks. He stood up and used his thumb to wipe them away, staring into her brown eyes. Without saying a word she leant forward and kissed him, putting her arms up and around his neck, letting herself get lost in him.

  Carrie pushed all doubts as far back in her mind as she could, diminishing the idea of bolting out the door and instead concentrating on Daniel. Every word he had said she had understood as she had felt it too, she just didn’t want to admit it.

  Daniel ran his hands up her back and placed a hand on the back of her head deepening the kiss, expecting her to pull away at any minute, but she didn’t and although he could still tell she was apprehensive he wanted to just enjoy the moment her had with her.

  Waking in Daniels arms the next morning, Carrie smiled. She had pushed passed the fear of moving on with someone else and even though she had no idea what the future held, she wanted to focus on the here and now.

  Stretching, Daniel pulled her closer to him, not quite believing that the woman of his dreams was actually here and in his bed. Leaning down he kissed her gently.

  “Mor
ning beautiful” He said in a croaky voice “Are you ok?” he asked wearily, hoping she was still happy with the way things had gone.

  “I’m good” she replied smiling up at him “I do however need to go” she said sitting up in bed and checking the time on her mobile phone. Daniel gave her a questioning glance praying he hadn’t done anything wrong again.

  “I promised I would visit my in-laws this weekend” she replied, realising how odd it sounded to say in-laws to the man she had just spent the night with.

  “Oh erm ok, what about tonight then?” he asked eager to see her again and not wanting to spend much time apart from her.

  “Tonight I am free, how about you come over to mine and I will cook dinner?” she asked smiling down at him.

  “That sounds like a wonderful idea”

  Slipping out of bed, Carrie quickly got dressed and got sorted and said a long goodbye to Daniel, consisting of lots of kisses that made the butterflies flutter once again in her tummy. She didn’t want to go so early but she knew she needed to get home and get changed and showered before she visited Joe and Sandra, as it wouldn’t feel right, visiting her dead husbands parents, with the feel and smell of another man on her skin, however much she liked it.

  “Carrie darling” Sandra shouted as she opened the door and let Carrie in, giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  “Hey Sandra” Carrie replied, loving the reception she always got when she visited.

  “Carrie, it’s been too long” Said Joe joining the pair in the hallway of their lavish townhouse. It was a wonderful property and was a lot larger than it looked from the outside, and beautifully decorated in reds and creams. Joe was retired now but had received a rather good pension from his company and they lived very well, never going without.

  Carrie hung up her coat and kicked off her heels before following them to the living room, enjoying the feeling of the thick plush carpet under her feet. They had always made her feel at home here, even in the early days when she first started dating Ian, she was never nervous about visiting as they always gave her such a warm reception.

  “Tea, dear?” Sandra asked as Carrie strode over to the fire place at the opposite side of the room.

  “Yes please, that would be lovely” she replied before turning and concentrating on the urn that took centre stage on the fire place. Her beloved husbands ashes, and either side stood 2 photos, 1 of Ian when he had finished school, all young, smart and handsome and the other a photo of Ian and herself on the beach at their wedding. Carrie brought her fingers to her lips and kissed the tips before reaching out and touching the urn gently, a gesture she did every time she visited.

  Carrie had been given the option to keep Ian’s ashes herself or to have them split between her and his parents, but she decided it would be best for him to be at his childhood home, plus the constant reminder and pain it would cause her having him in her apartment would devastate her.

  Taking a seat on the sofa she looked over and smiled at Joe, his warm welcoming eyes smiling back at her.

  “How have you been Carrie? It’s been a while since you came round, I was beginning to think you had forgotten us” he chuckled

  “I’m so sorry Joe; I never meant to leave it so long. Works just been hectic and then I had to go away and see my mother” she replied, taking her tea from Sandra and thanking her before taking a sip, being careful not to burn her mouth on the hot liquid.

  “Is everything ok with your mother?” Joe asked

  “Unfortunately not, she’s very ill, she was diagnosed with a brain tumour” She replied, a grave feeling setting over her. Wondering when her mother was coming home from Devon and feeling the need to see her again.

  “Oh Carrie I’m so sorry, I take it the doctors are doing all they can to help her” Sandra said putting a hand affectionately on Carrie knee.

  “They have been, but unfortunately its terminal” As Carrie said the words she felt them truly hit her; she was going to lose her mum.

  “Oh Carrie I’m so sorry, if we can do anything to help…” Joe said joining Carrie and his wife on the sofa and pulling Carrie into a hug.

  “I’ll be ok” Carrie sniffed back a sob not wanting to break down in front of them.

  “So what have you both been doing?” she asked trying her hardest to change the conversation.

  The lunch Sandra had made was delicious as usual. A gorgeous traditional roast dinner with chicken, beef and pork, roast potatoes, roasted vegetables, Yorkshire puddings and gravy, followed with a gorgeous homemade raspberry cheese cake. Carrie sipped her glass of mineral water and leant back on the table chair feeling very full and wondering if she would need to eat again for the next week.

  Taking in her surroundings, Carrie wondered why on earth she had put off visiting for so long, she always felt at home here and no matter what the future held she would always have a special place for Joe and Sandra in her heart.

  “So my dear, have you met anyone special yet?” Joe asked, Carrie sat up straight and felt herself flush. Joe had never asked her a question like that before and she wondered if they somehow knew something about Daniel but realising that it would be near impossible.

  “I, err, what would make you think that?” she replied, not knowing what to say. The last thing she wanted to be doing was discuss her love life with her in-laws.

  “Carrie, sweetheart as much as it hurts, Ian’s been gone now for over 2 years, and although I still believe the 2 of you were made for each other, I’m a realist and I want you to be happy. Ian would want the same thing and staying on your own forever, well let’s face it, isn’t the best option” Joes said smiling at Carrie and then at Sandra

  “You need to find someone who will make you happy and look after you. Ian would want the same, and whoever you decide on we will welcome into the family with open arms. All we ask is that you don’t forget us. You are like a daughter to us and we would like to be involved if you didn’t mind of course”

  Carrie sat stunned staring at the floor, the timing of this conversation was such a weird coincidence considering she had finally decided to make the jump into moving on with her life only the night before.

  “Carrie, anyone you fall in love with, we will welcome and any children you decide to have we will treat the same as we would our own grandchildren. We just want you to know you don’t have to be alone” Sandra added, reaching over and holding Joe’s hand.

  Carrie held back tears once again, these kind, lovely people had lost their only son and yet they were willing to move on and accept someone else being in her life, and to treat any children as their own grandchildren; surely she didn’t deserve this much kindness after everything that had happened.

  Carrie eventually left after a lovely afternoon and made her way to the supermarket to buy some supplies to prepare for her evening with Daniel. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face, she felt so much better knowing she had Joe and Sandra’s blessing to move on with someone else, and although it still felt very strange to her, she pushed all doubts to the back of her mind, just wanting to be happy for once, which was something she thought would never happen again.

  Arriving home she hung up her coat and kicked off her shoes in the hall, then carried the small amount of shopping she had into the kitchen, before getting busy preparing a nice meal for the pair of them, and chilling a bottle of wine in the fridge.

  As she pottered around the kitchen she sang to the radio and couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so carefree and excited. Popping the dish she had prepared into the oven, she skipped out of the kitchen and to her bedroom, grabbing Daniel’s jacket she still had and slipping it on. Smelling the scent of his aftershave caused butterflies to fill her tummy once again. Staring in the mirror at her reflection she couldn’t believe the change in herself from only a week ago. The smile sitting on her face was something that had not been seen in a long while, and it changed her whole appearance.

  Jumping up, she grabbed her towels and made her w
ay to the bathroom, opting for a soak in the tub with bubbles, and to pamper herself a bit. Lying in the hot water was relaxing and she could have stayed enjoying the moment for a long time, but today she was so excited about the evening she could hardly sit still for more than a few minutes.

  Once out of the bath she dried herself and got dressed in a gorgeous short red dress. She couldn’t remember the last time she had worn it and felt sad as she really did love the dress and what it did to her figure. Putting on some make up and brushing her hair, she looked at her reflection once again, the mask she had been wearing for the past 2 years was gone and she needed to be Carrie again, not to the person she had been trying so hard to be.

  Picking up the house phone she dialled the number for her stylist and booked an appointment for the next day to have her hair done. She was shocked it was so close but they had a cancellation and managed to fit her in, and she was so desperate to be herself now she couldn’t say no. Running her fingers through her hair she couldn’t wait to get rid of the blonde tresses and to replace them with her normal hair colour. They say blondes have more fun but she couldn’t agree as all her blonde hair was just part of the mask she had worn.

  Returning to the kitchen she opened the oven to check the food, it was almost ready and she was hoping Daniel would like what she had prepared. Shutting the oven again she hoped he would arrive in time for it not to spoil, and set the table along with some tall candles and matches, before going to the fridge and pouring a glass of wine.

  Carrie relaxed slightly as the cold liquid soothed her throat and her nerves. Despite feeing like she had turned a corner, the guilt and doubts were still eating away at her and she needed to be strong and to push them away, or she would never move forward.