by Claire Thake
“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Carrie giggled, leaning into Daniel and shouting to be heard over the music
“I want to you have a good time, and enjoy yourself” he replied clinking his shot glass against hers. After the count of 3 they both slammed the glasses back and placed them on the bar. Carrie pulled a face as the strong liqueur hit her throat. Grabbing Daniel by the hand she pulled him to the dance floor and let her inhibitions fly away as she let her body move to the rhythm of the music. She had been a dancer for most of her teenage years and it was nice to let go again and let the music take her over.
Daniel watched Carrie, mesmerised at the change in the beautiful woman in front of him, from the closed off shell she had been back in Devon. His heart swelled seeing her so carefree and he knew he would do whatever it took right there and then to spend his life making her happy.
As the drinks flowed into the night, Carrie could feel herself getting light headed from the alcohol and was thoroughly enjoying the evening. Her arms around Daniel, staring up into his face she suddenly felt a nudge on her right as a young woman bumped into them obviously very drunk.
“Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t see you there” the woman slurred in Carrie’s direction
“Dan, how nice to see you again” she said to Daniel and draped her arm over his. Daniels face turned to stone, and his heart began to race. In front of him was a very drunk Ella. London was a large place and he had hoped not to see her again after the night he took her back to his hotel. Pushing her off he grabbed Carrie and pulled her in another direction
“Let’s get another drink” he said pulling her away from the crowd and ignoring Ella
“Who was that?” Carrie asked, wondering why he had been so rude
“No one, I mean someone I knew a long time ago, she’s not important” he replied, before ordering them both more drinks. Carrie had a niggling feeling that she had seen the woman before but she couldn’t place where, and came to the conclusion that it must just be a coincidence. Over the next hour Daniel seemed edgy and kept looking at the time on his phone.
“What’s wrong?” she asked wondering why his mood had changed so dramatically. Smiling back Daniel threaded his arms around her waist, pulled her close and kissed her, before pulling away so they were nose to nose.
“Nothing is wrong, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, I’m just dying to get you out of here and to get you all to myself” Carrie giggled and nodded, pulling away from his embrace. She kissed the tips of her fingers and put them to Daniels lips.
“Give me 5 hot stuff and we’ll get out of here” The look on Daniels face was a mixture of relief and lust, as she turned and walked away, making her way to the ladies bathroom.
Carrie was staring into the mirror, reapplying her make up, when the red headed woman from earlier came crashing through the door and stopped sharply when she saw Carrie. Straightening up Carrie put her lipstick back into her bag before heading to the door; the red head stepping into her way.
“Excuse me please” Carrie said politely wanting nothing more than to just leave
“One sec, I want to talk to you” the red head replied walking towards Carrie and forcing her back into the room.
“I don’t want any trouble, please I was about to leave” Carrie murmured feeling nervous
“It won’t take long” The red head replied leaning into Carrie and standing eye to eye with her. Carrie squared up to her, not wanting to be pushed around, the alcohol in her veins giving her more courage than she would normally have. The red head looked Carrie up and down in disgust, a snarl on her lips.
“I don’t know who you are, but I feel I need to give you a word of warning. Dan is a user and if you think this little thing tonight means anything to him you would be very, very wrong” Carrie gulped and felt her stomach swimming from the alcohol.
“He’s a player; once he beds you he will be gone. That’s if he can even bed you, hell he couldn’t get it up with me the other night and no offence Hun but I think I have a bit more going on than you do”
“What are you talking about, the other night?” Carrie asked not wanting to believe what she was hearing but wanting to know what the girl had to say at the same time.
“Thursday night, he took me back to his hotel full of promises he couldn’t fulfil. Hes lost his touch. He then man handled me out of his hotel after spending the night with me, so from one woman to another…I wouldn’t waste your time”
Nauseas overcome Carrie and she pushed the woman to one side, and stormed out of the bathroom, cursing herself for being so stupid and believing he could be the answer to her problems; instead he was just causing her more heartache.
Not wanting to face him, Carrie walked around the outside of the room, avoiding the side Daniel was waiting for her and left the club, not caring that her coat was still in the cloakroom, as Daniel had the cloakroom ticket and she couldn’t get it without it. Running outside she felt the cold air hit her body and instantly goose bumps appeared over her arms and legs. Luckily there were plenty of cabs waiting by the curb so she quickly jumped into one and gave the driver her address, laying back into the seat and counting the minutes until she was home.
Daniel looked at his phone at the time, starting to worry about how long Carrie had been and wondering how it would look if he walked into the ladies to check on her. A hand with red nails ran over his shoulder and he flinched and turned to see Ella grinning back at him.
“Hey handsome” She chirped at him, reaching out to run her hand over his chest. Daniel jumped back to put some distance between himself and Ella and gave her a look of disgust.
“What the hell are you playing at Ella?” He asked panic surging through him as he searched the crowds for Carrie.
“If you’re looking for your little friend, I wouldn’t bother. I had a little chat with her in the ladies and gave her a heads up. Wouldn’t want another girl being treated like you treated me the other night” Anger took the place of the panic and he grabbed Ella by the shoulders
“What did you say to her Ella?” Ella giggled and waved her hand dismissively; an evil smile spreading across her face. Flicking her hair over her should she shrugged at him and pushed his hands away from her shoulders.
“I told her how you’re a poor excuse for a man, taking innocent girls back to your hotel and not fulfilling your end of the bargain before you throw them out with no care for anyone but yourself”
Daniel pushed Ella to one side and ran out of the club, his eyes scanning for Carrie but coming up empty. Grabbing the coats from the cloakroom he ran outside and jumped straight in a cab to Carrie’s address.
Once home Carrie locked the door behind her and quickly changed out of her clothes into her pyjamas; scrubbing at her face to remove all traces of the makeup. Staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, the tears she was so used to began to run down her cheeks.
How could she be so stupid? She thought to herself. As if a man would be interested in her, all she had done was cheat on her husband, on the dream of living a normal happy life instead of just existing. Tying her hair up in a bun on the top of her head, she walked into the living room and sunk into the sofa, hugging her knees to her chest and rocking gently, wishing everything would just disappear.
Arriving at Carrie’s apartment Daniel raced to the door pressing the buzzer like a mad man. 10 minutes past and despite the constant buzzing there was no reaction. The rain began to fall and despite the cold and wet Daniel refused to give up. He couldn’t lose her now and wanted to kick himself for being so stupid with Ella after a few drinks. He had jeopardised everything and he felt as if his world was coming crashing down around him.
Putting her hands over her ears, Carrie ignored the noise from the buzzer as much as she could. She knew Daniel would know she had run from the club and was the reason her buzzer was going nonstop. She prayed that he would give up eventually and leave her alone.
“Carrie please” she heard him shout outside her window.
The temptation to look down to the street at him eating away at her but at the same time she was scared to see his face and to see the truth written all over it. Although she already knew what Ella had said was true, she could tell from the way he had reacted when Ella had first bumped into them earlier in the night.
His whole mood had changed at that moment and now she knew why. She knew she had no claim to how he had acted that night; nothing was going on between them then, but he had come all this way to see her and yet still took a girl back to his hotel, and it killed her inside to think of Daniel kissing and touching the red head.
The more she thought about it all the more upset she was getting. He had kissed her and touched her and made love to her, when the night before he had been with that other girl. She suddenly felt dirty and used and all sort of emotions over took her. She wanted to just hide away from the world.
Chapter 15
Around 5am in the morning, soaked through to the skin, Daniel finally flopped down on the bed in his hotel; feeling awful and clueless as to what to do. Carrie had ignored his calls, and his constant attempts to see her in the night, and he had only left after her neighbour had threatened to call the police if he didn’t.
Stripping off his wet clothes he threw them in a pile in the corner and sat with his head in his hands and sobbed. He wasn’t the type to cry and hadn’t even cried when he was given the news that his father had died, but losing Carrie felt like he had had his heart ripped out of his chest and he felt like he was struggling to breath.
He never thought he would find someone meant for him and he always thought that true love was something made up in books and movies, to give people hope of a happy ever after in life, but meeting Carrie he could see what he wanted in his future and he didn’t want to continue without her.
Monday came round and Carrie sipped her coffee as she prepared to leave for work. She had used the Sunday to pull herself together and put the familiar veil back in place, vowing to learn from the mistake and not to repeat it.
The day went on as usual and she worked through lunch and stayed late, hoping to avoid any show down with Daniel if he came to her apartment again, although she was hoping he got the message as he hadn’t showed on Sunday.
Arriving home, she ordered herself a pizza and slumped on the sofa, not in the mood to cook. She just wanted to eat and go straight to sleep before work again tomorrow that she could throw herself into and keep issues off her mind.
Carrie’s phone began to ring and she glanced at the screen ready to mute the ring if Daniels number appeared, but Jason’s flashed on the screen
“Hey Jay” she answered, hoping her brother hadn’t heard what had happened and wasn’t trying to talk to her about her love life.
“Hey Carrie” he replied an odd tone to his voice which immediately set alarm bells ringing
“What’s up Jason?” She asked not really sure she wanted to know the answer
“It’s mum Carrie. She collapsed last night, she’s in hospital” Jason’s words caught in his throat not knowing how to continue and needing his twin sister for support. Carrie swallowed, a feeling of dread pooling in her stomach at hearing the words she didn’t want to hear.
“Is it serious?” she asked knowing the truth but not wanting to believe it.
“I need you here Caz, please” Jason replied his voice choking up
“Ok I will sort something and come straight away” She replied.
After a brief chat over her mother’s health, she hung up the phone to Jason and went to pack. Chucking as much as she could and as fast as she could into a suitcase, she came across Daniels jacket. The garment made her stop in her tracks and her stomach do somersaults. She couldn’t deny the feelings she had for him and right now all she wanted was to feel his arms around her for comfort but she knew she had to focus on her family and push him to the back of her mind.
The journey back down to Devon seemed to take a life time, and Carrie couldn’t concentrate on anything but the horrid feeling taking over her and nervousness about seeing her brother and even worse her mother. She had avoided her mother for 2 years after Ian had died as she knew her mother would see right through her and find everything out; things she wasn’t willing or ready to discuss and she knew her family would never let them rest and would smother her, so it was easier for her to block everyone out. She had never expected though the guilt she would feel now that she was on the verge of losing the most important woman in her life, the one she admired and looked up to.
Arriving at the hospital, Jason met her by the main doors and enveloped her in a hug so tight and desperate, yet full of gratitude at her presence.
“Thank you Carrie” he whispered “I don’t know if I can do this by myself anymore” Carrie gulped and the feeling of guilt spread through her. Her mum had been ill for a while and because she had locked everyone out she had left her brother to cope with it all by himself, while she carried on living a lie, instead of helping him.
Entering her mother’s room, Carrie gasped at the sight of her mother. She couldn’t believe the strong woman could look anymore frail than she had when she had last seen her, yet the woman in front of her was hardly recognisable as her mum. The disease eating away at the wonderful woman that was Anne Warren.
“Mum” Carrie whispered taking a chair beside the bed and taking her mother’s hand. Anne turned to face her daughter and smiled
“Carrie, you look so different, you look so much better” she said in a raspy voice.
“Oh yeah, I had my hair done” Carrie replied running her free hand over her head. She had totally forgetten how different she must look with the extensions and now being a brunette again.
“No sweetheart, I meant you not your hair, you look happy and yet there’s a sadness in your eyes” Her mother looked confused and her eyes fluttered closed and her chest began to rise and fall in a steady rhythm showing she had fallen asleep.
Carrie glanced at her brother alarmed at the suddenness of it all and Jason crossed the room and pulled a chair up next to Carries.
“The pain medication they have her on makes her sleepy, it’s to be expected I was told” He said, taking his sisters hand and rubbing his thumb over hers.
“What’s going to happen Jay? Is she going to make it out of here?” she asked her pulse quickening at the thought.
“The doctor said this is it Carrie, it’s why I asked you to come here. They reckon it could be any day now and she has asked not to be resuscitated”
“Surely there is something they can do, what’s all these machines for?” Carrie could feel herself raising her voice in a panic.
“These are just monitoring her, and administering pain meds, she’s refused any other treatment Carrie, and she doesn’t want to live in pain anymore” Tears fell once again down Carries face and she leant into her brother. He pulled her close and the pair comforted each other at their mother’s bedside, both scared not knowing when they would lose their precious mother.
As soon as Daniel had gotten off of the phone to Graham, the worker he had left in charge of the farm and a trusted friend, he immediately packed up his things and checked out of the hotel. Hearing of the ambulance that had escorted Mrs Warren from the farm, he knew Carrie would be making her way to be with her family and couldn’t imagine how much she would be hurting. He didn’t know how she would react to his presence but he knew he wanted to be there for her if she needed him.
Pulling his truck out of the hotel car park, he drove as fast as he could yet carefully to get back home, praying that Carrie would see him and not see his arrival as an excuse to force her to speak to him. Right now all he wanted to do was look after her whether she hated him or not and he knew it would be the worst moment to bring up Ella and what had happened the night at the club.
6 Hours later he arrived home, and ran straight to the barn and knocked. Jason answered and seemed shocked to see him.
“Daniel, when did you get back?”
“Just
now, I left as soon as I heard from Graham, how’s things? Is Carrie here?” he stammered trying to catch his breath from the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
“Didn’t she speak to you before she left? I guess she left in a hurry but I thought she would have told you what was happening. She’s at the hospital still, I had to come back and take a shower”
Without waiting for Jason to finish speaking, Daniel ran back to his truck, spinning the vehicle and driving back out of the farm, his wheels kicking up dust from the gravel. Jason stared at the disappearing truck, wondering what the hell was going on with Daniel and his sister. She hadn’t mentioned him since she had arrived back.
Standing, staring in the doorway, Daniel stopped and wondered what he should do. Carrie was sitting on a chair next to her mother, her head leaning on the mattress and she looked like she was asleep, she looked so beautiful and peaceful.
As if she sensed his presence her head shot up and her eyes stared into his. He waited for her reaction wondering if he had made the right decision to be here or if she would tell him to go.
Carrie stood up and made her way slowly out of her mother’s room, closing the door behind her. She stared up at Daniel, her eyes were red from crying and he stood frozen to the spot. He wanted to hold her tight and comfort her and to make her feel loved and help her with what she was feeling but didn’t want to push her.
They stood and stared at each other for what felt life a lifetime before Carrie stepped forward and threw herself into his arms. Relief washed through him as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.
“I’m so, so sorry Carrie” He whispered into her ear
“Don’t please, not now. I can’t think about that now I need to focus on my mum, but I appreciate that you came here”