Her Secret Twins

by Janette Foreman

  The sunset painted her profile in orange and gold, like wheat during the harvest. She looked up as he approached and brushed back tears.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Where are the kids?”

  He dug his hands into his pockets. “With your mom.”

  “Grant—”

  “They’ll be fine for a while.” He took a seat beside her, propping his elbows on his knees. Then he waited, listening to the crickets and the wind rustling through the trees overhead.

  Hugging her arms, Kallie turned her attention back to the empty creek bed. “It shouldn’t have to be like this,” she muttered. “A mom’s supposed to be there for her kids. Why wasn’t mine?”

  Grant thought about it, then shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe she was trying to be there for you in another way.”

  “It’s not what I needed. I didn’t care if her job allowed us to get new school clothes every year, or whatever her reasoning was. I needed her here—to lean on and learn from.”

  “Yeah, I get it.”

  She swiped at another tear. “I felt like I wasn’t enough, you know? Like she had to go on the road in order to find whatever it was she needed out of life.”

  Was that why Kallie never wanted to leave the kids’ side? Did she think she was failing as a mom if she ever had a hint of interest in something other than the kids?

  Shaking his head, Grant took her hand. “You’re enough, Kallie Shore. Whether anyone else ever recognizes it, you’re enough.”

  He laced his fingers with hers. New tears welled in her eyes before she blinked and they dropped down her cheeks. With her free hand, she covered her eyes and gave a shuddered sigh.

  When she let her hand fall into her lap, her gaze reached back in time, seeming to find the memories among the cottonwoods. “When I was nine, my mom left on an especially long business trip. I remember I finally got up the courage to call her and ask if she’d tuck me in when she got home. It was something she hadn’t done in a while, and I’d been missing it.”

  Her hand tightened around his, so he scooted closer.

  “She’d said of course she would, and I got so excited. I made everything extra special.” Blinking a few times, Kallie shook her head. “I cleaned my room and lined up all my stuffed animals. I’d made this little sign with paper and markers that said, ‘Welcome home, Mom,’ and it was propped up by the animals as if they were helping me greet her when she arrived. Anyway, I wore my favorite pajamas and braided my hair and made a card I was going to give her. I had this whole speech prepared about how I’d missed her and hoped she’d never have to leave again.”

  A tear slipped down her cheek. Grant switched her hand into his far one so he could tug her against his side.

  “So when she got home—did she tuck you in?”

  She huffed. “She didn’t even come home.”

  His hand lightly ran along her outside arm. Slowly, she rested her head in the pocket of his shoulder and collarbone. “She’d passed right on by to the next job. Then she called the next morning to say she’d been running late and to apologize. Promised to tuck me in the next time she came home, but it didn’t matter by then. I already knew I couldn’t trust her with things that were important to me.” Her distant stare hardened. “No one cares half as much about your wishes and dreams as you do. It’s a fact of life. So why it bothers me that Mom’s around all of a sudden—I don’t know.” As her gaze connected with Grant, she squeezed his hand further. “I shouldn’t care if I’ve written her off, right?”

  He smiled. “Maybe you haven’t.”

  Kallie was quiet—maybe she had to think about that one. Gently, he tugged her closer to him, wishing he could help her see the worth she carried. What he saw in her.

  “Look, I know what it’s like to live with a parent who has squandered his life. And if I hadn’t before, I also understand now how important my mom is to me. I think if I had the chance to fix my relationship with my dad the way you might with your mom, I’d jump at it. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Seemed as if she’d relaxed into him some, though he wasn’t one hundred percent sure. “You’re a good friend,” she finally murmured.

  A good friend. Obviously, that’s what she wanted him to be, and nothing more. Why couldn’t he keep his heart in check, stay in the friend zone and accept it?

  “Kal, there’s something I’ve been wondering. Did your dad ever pressure you to find me and tell me about the kids?”

  She took a few seconds to answer. “Yeah. And I should have. I know saying sorry will never be enough.”

  “Just seems odd that I’d still be in the will after we ended things.”

  “In the end, I was so busy with Dad that I never thought to look at the beneficiaries on the will. All I could think about was being thankful we’d already set his will up, you know? And then I spent the rest of my energy managing the farm, the kids and caring for him.”

  Frustration scratched through him. Why hadn’t Frank contacted him? He could’ve helped on the place, at least for a while. Or paid for worthwhile help. Something. As it was, Grant hadn’t even known Frank was sick.

  She shifted her head, still on his shoulder, and tilted it slightly upward as she spoke. “Honestly though, I think he left you in on purpose.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. He knew the kids would need you.”

  “Well, I need them. I had no idea how much until I met them.”

  It did hurt that he might never have known about the kids if it hadn’t been for the will. But the fact was, he couldn’t change the past. And he couldn’t control Kallie’s life decisions. The best he could do was prove himself a worthy dad—to help anywhere he could and to make her feel proud that he’d entered the kids’ lives, not ashamed.

  His eyes met hers and drank her in before visually outlining the curves of her face. Slowly, he let go of her hand and moved his thumb along her cheek beside her mouth. This precious woman. What had he been thinking, letting her go?

  The song on the truck radio ended and another began. Faintly, in the background, but Grant closed his eyes as the haunting tune reached into his soul and reminded him. Reminded him of the past, of the times he and Kallie had fallen in love to those very words, those very notes, two years ago.

  “Do you recognize—”

  “Yes.” Kallie straightened off his chest. She began to move away, but he gently caught her hand. She paused, but he could feel her shoulders stiffen beneath his arm, could almost hear her breath catch as the singer crooned the words so deeply ingrained in both of them.

  “Remember when we first heard it?”

  After a second, she nodded. “Down here. By the empty creek bed.”

  “We drove down here to watch the sun set and then it came on the radio.” He dared to rub his thumb against the curve of her shoulder, his chest tightening. “You said it reminded you of us.”

  She didn’t look at him, but he knew the memories sailed through her mind.

  God, let her hear me.

  “The second time we heard it, we were in the barn, unloading a shipment of dog food,” he said, his voice growing low. “And the next time was on our way home from Fourth of July fireworks, and you were so pretty in the moonlight—”

  “Grant, please.” Her hushed voice broke. She pressed her fingers to her eyes. “It’s getting late. I’ve got to feed the kids and get them down for the night.”

  Releasing his hand, she hopped off the log.

  He sat for a moment before gritting his jaw and getting up himself. He followed her to her four-wheeler, watched her fish out the key and climb aboard. She fumbled putting the key in the ignition, mumbling something unintelligible beneath her breath.

  When she got the four-wheeler going, she sent him a quiet smile. “Thanks for talking me through things about my mom. It helped.”

 
Somehow he managed to return her smile. “You’re welcome. Hope it works out.” His bit back anything else as he watched her drive away.

  * * *

  When Kallie returned to the house, Grant wasn’t far behind her.

  Part of her wanted to run from the feelings brewing inside her. But another part wanted his strength. Her mother was inside the house, and soon she’d be facing her and their entire past. Somehow, being around Grant made her feel more confident that she could handle it.

  Kallie met Grant on the pickup’s driver side, shielded from the house. “Do you want to stay for supper?” she asked.

  Grant stuck his hands deep into his pockets. “I think I’d better eat on my own tonight.”

  Kallie frowned.

  “I’d love to, honestly,” he added. “But you’ve got some catching up to do with your mom, and I’d only be in the way.”

  “You wouldn’t be in the way.” But even as Kallie said it, she knew he was right. She needed to at least finally hear her out. And that was something they should do alone.

  “Okay.” She half turned, then pivoted back. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Yep.” That slow, tantalizing grin of his slid back into place, and she had to hurry away before he saw his smile returned.

  Kallie shook her head, shoe treads scraping over the gravel turnaround. These days, her rebel grin apparently wasn’t going to be contained when it came to Grant Young.

  He’d surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to stick around as long as he had, working the farm and getting to know the kids. It was a nice change. Hopefully it stuck.

  She stepped inside and found Peter and Ainsley sitting in their high chairs. Mom was seated beside them at the table, spoon-feeding them a bowl of oatmeal—the spoon acting as an airplane coming in for a landing, and the kids were giggling at the thrilling game.

  “Hey,” she offered, before turning into the laundry room to scoop food out for Ruby.

  “Hi, hun.” Mom’s voice was so familiar, it hurt. But also so foreign. How often had Kallie prayed to hear that voice in this house on a regular basis?

  Listen to what she has to say. Be open to restoring the only parent relationship you have left.

  She fed Ruby, then returned to the kitchen. Mom looked up from the kids and Kallie forced herself to sit down at the table with her.

  “I wasn’t sure what the kids ate these days,” Mom said. “But I figured oatmeal was pretty safe.”

  “Oatmeal’s fine.”

  Silence poured in. So thick she felt she’d drown.

  Finally, Kallie took a breath and asked the question that had been weighing her down for the past hour. “What brings you out here?”

  “I’ve changed a lot over the past few years, and I needed to come back and say I’m sorry.”

  Ainsley protested having to wait for food, so Mom paused to give her a granddaughter a bite. All the while, Kallie’s mind spun with questions.

  “I started going to church,” Mom said.

  Kallie raised her brows. That was something Mom had never done, even when home with her and Dad. “Really?”

  Mom nodded. “Three months ago, I became a Christian. And—and I deeply regret missing all those formative years of your life. I want to make things right.”

  How was Kallie supposed to respond to that? She wanted things to be made right between them, too—but how did someone heal years of hurt?

  The bowl of oatmeal went fast, and the children protested, wanting more. Kallie quickly realized this was a conversation they’d be better off having after the kids went to bed.

  Turning the topic to Peter and Ainsley, they finished feeding the kids, and then after playing with them and getting them in bed, Kallie and her mom grabbed fresh coffee and moved out to the porch. The sun had completely set now, and twilight had taken over the sky in dusky blue elegance. They sat side by side, listening to the crickets’ serenade. Hopefully it would make their conversation easier.

  “So, who is Grant?” Mom asked, both hands around the mug on her lap. “Is he the kids’ dad?”

  “Yes.”

  Mom took a long pause before speaking again. “Where’s he living these days?”

  “Here, actually. In the hired help cottage. Before this, he was in Iowa, running a setter rescue facility and also putting on training clinics around the country. But once he found out about the kids, he settled here and wouldn’t leave. When Grant sets his mind on something, you’ll have a hard time tearing him away.”

  Sounded like someone else she knew—herself.

  Kallie exhaled at the memory of him digging his heels in, how aggravating it had felt and how that aggravation had now turned to hope mixed with concern. “I just hope he keeps his mind focused on the kids.”

  “Do you think he won’t?”

  It took Kallie a moment to answer. “I don’t know what to think yet. Jury’s still out. But if Peter and Ainsley are going to have a father in their lives, it had better be a dependable one.”

  “Yes... You said he didn’t know about the kids?”

  “It’s a long story.” She tried telling it as succinctly as she could. “It’s my fault. I have no good excuse. I was selfish and hurt. And extremely stubborn. I shouldn’t have kept them a secret from him.”

  “Well, don’t be too hard on yourself,” Mom murmured, her gaze on a flock of birds swirling around the shrub oaks in the distance. “Sometimes you can’t trust people. But then other people you can. It takes time to know the difference.”

  More aching silence broke up the conversation. So many questions, but which should she ask first? Which were even worth asking, and which were better off lost in the pages of the past?

  “Are you and—”

  “Why didn’t—”

  They gave each other awkward smiles.

  “You go first,” Kallie said.

  “Are you and Grant back together now?”

  The words swirled through Kallie’s mind and she shook her head. “Oh, no. We’re too different. We could never be together like that.”

  Mom nodded, as if she was satisfied with the brief explanation. “Okay, your turn,” she said.

  “Why didn’t you come to Dad’s funeral?”

  Mom’s face shadowed over with grief. “I wanted to. I really did. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I was caregiving for my aunt Opal, who wound up passing away just last week. That’s when I called you—on Sunday.”

  When Kallie and Grant were on their way to church together.

  “There was no one else to take care of her. I didn’t figure your dad or you wanted me there anyway.” She sighed. “Regardless, the truth is, I missed your dad’s funeral, and I’ve deeply regretted it. I’ve regretted a lot of things in my life. Especially how I left you and your dad so much.”

  “Why did you leave us so often? You’re my mother. I needed you.”

  Tears filled Mom’s eyes. She tried to smile but it came out wavering, so she patted Kallie’s hand instead. “The whys don’t matter much anymore. What matters is that I right my wrongs and make the most of the time we have left together.”

  Kallie lowered her eyes, wishing she’d been brave enough to answer the phone last week when Mom had called. Brave enough to do a lot of things in this life. Maybe this would be the start of a bold new beginning.

  Chapter Eight

  One more sunken screw and the dog shelter would be complete. Late-afternoon sun beat down on Grant’s shoulders and neck as he finished the work and climbed down his ladder. He’d spent the morning mowing a portion of grass behind the old kennels, planning to use that area for some bird and obedience training. The fields beyond were ideal for firsthand experience, catching the scent of wild birds and allowing the dogs a chance to do what they were born to do. The opportunity thrummed through his veins.

  This afternoon, he�
��d reconstructed and secured the shelter Frank had used to keep dogs shaded and watered while awaiting their turn to train. It was in fairly good condition—only needed a few sections repaired. Which was a good thing, as their first set of bird dogs were coming in a matter of days.

  Grant couldn’t thank God enough for the lead he’d received during his last phone call yesterday evening. He’d spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday calling people about training their dogs.

  Many were interested—next summer. Helpful in the long run, but not exactly for this year. He had to save the farm first before he could think about next summer’s plans.

  But the last handler he’d called said he might be able to help. He personally couldn’t bring his dog up from Texas, but he had a friend who might be interested in bringing his own two—said they’d heard of Grant and respected the training methods he taught at his seminars. And if his friend came, he’d send his dog with him.

  Turned out, it worked perfectly for the handler’s friend to deliver all three dogs for an introductory level, four-week training. Starting next Friday, a week from today. Thanks to Frank, a lot of the supplies Grant would need were already on the premises. But there were still a lot of repairs to make and schedules to design.

  The best news of all was that both men had already paid their deposits. That money was about to take a nice chunk out of Frank’s outstanding loans.

  “Things are looking up, Chief.” Grant shook his fingers through Chief’s shaggy black-and-white ears. “This might be just the break we were looking for.”

  And as an added cherry on top of his already amazing sundae—Mom’s test results had come back normal.

  He’d praised God multiple times for that over the past week. It had also prompted him to think a lot about family. More than just about anything, he wanted his kids to grow up proud of their dad, not ashamed of him like Grant had been. Having his own business in a field he loved, now that was the dream. He could not only provide for his kids, but one day when he was gone, they’d inherit it. It was yet another way he could protect them long into the future. A way for him to be dependable, loyal and steadfast. Productive and successful while still being there for his kids.