As he headed for the house, he took a longer look at Chief’s shaggy hair—the wavy strands hanging from his ears, the thick feathering on his chest and legs, and the long flag of his tail. He had to brush Chief quite a bit to remove all the burrs he picked up in the field. It was definitely time for a significant trim.
Frank—well, really Kallie—used to do this with all the dogs that came to camp, in order to keep them clean and as burr-free as possible during their stay. Grant seriously considered keeping up the tradition.
Leaving Chief out front to sniff around, Grant headed inside Kallie’s house.
Laughing met him just inside. It died away, and Kallie and Edith looked at him from the kitchen, where—speaking of hair—they were in the middle of cutting Ainsley’s and Peter’s in their high chairs.
“Hey,” Kallie said, her eyes bright. “They’re getting haircuts for the first time. And they’re not sure what to think of it.”
The smell of supper already wafted from inside the oven, which was a pretty standard occurrence now that Edith had been here for a week, but Grant suddenly didn’t feel like eating.
Peter, recognizing Grant, reached out toward him. “Ehh-ehh-ehh!”
It was nice that someone cared to include him. “Hey, bud.” He thought about going over to give the boy’s hand an affectionate shake, like he usually did, but as Peter had moved, Kallie quietly shushed him and moved him back into position, murmuring something about him needing to stay still for the cut. So Grant hung back.
“Supper’s almost ready,” Edith said, scissors in hand. “Are you staying tonight?”
Her glance in his direction was very brief before she turned back to Ainsley’s hair. But there was something in her face that he didn’t quite like.
Before Edith had arrived, Grant watched the kids three times a week. This week, it’d only been for one afternoon. And Edith had been there, too, making meals and rocking the kids to sleep, sort of giving Grant the feeling of being in the way. Every other day, Edith had watched them either on her own or with Kallie.
He told himself he was overreacting. The woman had never met her grandkids and was just now reconnecting with her daughter. She needed time to do that. But that didn’t make it any less frustrating, and it didn’t change the fact that he felt a little put off by the way she seemed to edge him out and then fill his shoes.
“Supper?” Kallie prompted.
“No,” he heard himself say, probably more out of knee-jerk reaction than anything. “I’m not hungry. Just stopped to see if you could trim Chief and Bella for me before training camp starts. Maybe trim the other dogs, too, when they come.”
“Sure. I can do that.”
“Great.” Grant headed for the door. “See you around.”
A few strides across the turnaround and he heard the door open.
“Grant?” Kallie followed him. “Are you okay?”
Her long blond hair hung around her shoulders in super-pretty waves, like maybe she’d curled it some this morning. She seemed to be doing well. It seemed to make her happy to get to know her mom again and share the kids with her. And that was important. Grant wanted that for Kallie, too.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He shrugged, deflecting her concern. “Just trying to get everything ready for training to start next week.”
From the concern that pulled Kallie’s brows together, he couldn’t tell if she bought his story. “Do you need help with anything?”
“Just the grooming.”
“Okay. Grant, are you sure there’s nothing else?”
He shot a glance at the house. “You could’ve let me know you were giving the kids their first haircuts.”
Kallie frowned. “You would’ve wanted to be there for that?”
“Well, sure. I missed all the other firsts.”
She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it that way.”
It was something they couldn’t go back on, and that’s what annoyed him the most. Again, missing out on something monumental in the kids’ lives. His dad never cared about those things, but Grant did. “How long is your mom staying?”
“I told her she can stay as long as she wants. She doesn’t really have anything to get back for. Her full-time job was caring for her ailing aunt, who passed away last week. She’s really enjoying the kids and being back on the farm. And I’m enjoying getting to know her better.”
Smiling, he couldn’t begrudge her that. “I’m glad.”
Seeing her happy like this strengthened his resolve to tell her about his new perspective. He no longer thought he could enjoy being a father while also being a bachelor. Now he wondered if he was actually missing out on something special. If he tried hard enough, could he convince Kallie that their relationship was worth another try?
After wolfing down a peanut butter sandwich, Grant found ways to keep busy in the barn, locating supplies Frank had stashed that Grant would need next week.
Dakota, Chief and Bella explored all the scents the barn had to offer while Grant hunted around. In one of the barn’s side rooms, he was digging through a box when he heard scratching above his head.
What was that? He put the box away and stood to scan the rafters. Mice, maybe? Did he need to set traps?
“Oh, Grant,” a voice said from the doorway. “Glad I found you.”
He turned, putting off the rodent search for now. Edith watched him, arms crossed.
“Hey,” he said, frowning. Had something happened with Kallie or the kids? “Everything okay?”
“Oh, fine. Fine. I just wanted to talk a few things through with you. I don’t get much of a chance at the house, as you haven’t been there very often.”
Grant raised a brow. “Okay...”
“Listen,” she said. “I’ve decided to hire someone to finish the farmwork for the rest of the summer.”
He frowned. “You mean Kallie’s decided?”
“I did, but ultimately, it doesn’t matter who made the decision. It’s my way of helping out around here.”
“Well, we appreciate your interest in helping out, Edith, but it’s not necessary. Kallie and I agreed to share the work.”
“But plans change. Now that I’m here, you’re relieved of your obligation.”
Now both brows rose. “My obligation?”
“To the farm and to the kids. Now you’re free to go teach your seminar classes, or join another nonprofit in Iowa, or whatever.” She smiled, which sure felt patronizing. “Even if I don’t hire someone, we still don’t need your services anymore, because I can help with the kids while Kallie runs the farm.”
Grant straightened, drawing his hands out of his pockets. “My time here is about more than farmwork.”
“That may be true, but I think it’s best for everyone if your time here ended soon.”
“Now, hold it right there, ma’am. I don’t mean any disrespect, but don’t forget I own half of this land. And those are my kids we’re talking about.”
“Are you meaning to marry Kallie, then?” Edith stared him down over her crossed arms. “Because Kallie needs a husband.”
Grant’s frown deepened. “She said that?”
“She said she needs a dependable father for her children.”
The words hit him square in the chest. A dependable father. Something his father wasn’t. Was Grant not one, either?
“In my eyes,” Edith said, “that includes being a husband. Because it’s not enough to like your kids and show up whenever it’s convenient. If you’re living on this farm, and you’re enjoying the benefits that Kallie provides for you, like a roof over your head and free food to eat, then you had better pull your own weight with those children. It’s about committing to them and their mother.”
“Okay, I’m going to stop you right there.” You know, before he punched his fist through the barn wall. “
You make me sound like some sort of bum, but you have no idea what I do around here. Everything is for Kallie and the kids. I’m trying to save this farm just as much as she is. That’s why I’m in this barn right now instead of inside playing with Peter and Ainsley—getting ready for next week’s training camp.”
Edith didn’t even flinch. “Is that why you’re out here?”
“Yes.”
“Not to pout about me being here? About you not being the big man on campus anymore?”
“Of course not.” Though her words did sting a bit.
“And not because this training business is all about you rather than the farm?”
“Edith—”
“Because my Kallie is strong. She doesn’t need some superhero flying in to save her from the situation she’s been put in. Especially one who then abuses his privilege of being here. What my daughter needs is a partner who gives and sacrifices and commits. Things you never gave to her.”
Wow. Hands balled into fists, Grant glued them to his sides. “I’m done talking about this with you. Now, get out of my barn. Whatever issues Kallie and I have, we’ll discuss them together. Privately.”
Edith’s opinions on his relationship with Kallie weren’t necessarily true. And neither was her assumption of his character. But man, her words cut into his confidence. He’d better make sure that what she’d said about him wasn’t true.
One thing was clear. There was nothing Edith could say to convince him to give up his kids.
And if Kallie would accept him, he wasn’t giving her up, either.
* * *
Saturday evening, Kallie, her mom and the kids finally made it home from their first farmers market of the year. Their vegetables still weren’t ready to sell, but they had been sure to bake a bunch of pies, cookies and fresh bread to make up for it. And that had gone over wonderfully—better than she’d expected. Though her earnings were meager compared to some of the other vendors, who’d brought a wider variety of things to display, Kallie couldn’t have been prouder of how well she’d done.
Her only regret was that Grant hadn’t been there.
She’d hoped he could find time to join them. It had been an exciting day for her, and she’d wanted to share it with him. But the day had come and gone without him.
It was understandable, his absence. There was still a lot to do before the training camp started Monday morning. And ultimately, she was proud of him for working hard to earn money to save the farm.
But there was still that voice inside her, reminding her of his workaholic ways. His tendency to grab hold of a dream and lose sight of everything else. The worry that she was invisible.
Because if he’d truly known how important the day was for her, he would have tried to make at least an appearance, right?
And it wasn’t the first time he’d disregarded her wishes. Bringing a dog home, staying on the farm when she’d asked him to leave. Even starting this training business. Sure, he’d asked for her opinion first, but if he’d remembered and cared that she didn’t want other dogs here, then he wouldn’t have even brought it up.
After bringing everything inside and putting her money in a safe place where the kids wouldn’t reach it, she went about starting supper. Mom hopped between helping her cook and occupying Ainsley and Peter.
Grant arrived just in time for supper, and this time he stayed to eat. A light drizzle outside pattered on the windows as they ate a fairly quiet supper. He did ask about how the farmers market went today, which lifted Kallie’s spirits some.
“So, hey,” he said, after supper was done and she was putting dishes in the dishwasher. He stood beside her at the sink while Mom was in the living room with the kids. “I found something in the barn that I want to show you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. Finish your dishes and we’ll head over there. That is, if your mom doesn’t mind watching the kids for a little bit.” He must have read concern on her face, because he added, “It’s okay. We won’t be gone long.”
Raindrops dotted the windshield and body of the farm pickup parked in the earth-saturated turnaround. Dakota farmland stretched as far as the sunset-lit horizon, and a light sprinkle on their skin from clouds rolling in hinted at more rain to come.
“What’s the surprise?”
“Shh, it’s in the barn.”
Kallie eyed Grant as he walked beside her. He kept his gaze trained forward, though she was certain he was hiding a playful grin.
“This had better be good, Mr. Young,” she countered, “taking me away from washing dishes and all.”
He didn’t answer. Only let a twitch of his mouth indicate that smile again.
They entered the barn, and Kallie scanned the open space for anything out of place. But nothing suspicious jumped out.
“Grant, I—”
“Shh.”
Kallie shut her mouth. Grant was heading for a side room and motioned with his head for her to follow. Quirking a brow, she did, again sweeping her gaze around for something amiss.
When they were inside the small room, he pointed up at the exposed rafters, where Dad had stored away old junk and supplies. He put a finger to his lips, and suddenly, she heard the soft, squeaky mewling of newborn kittens.
She couldn’t contain her grin. “Where are they?” she whispered.
“On top of that door.” Grant pointed to an old door suspended in the rafters. “She must have climbed the storage boxes over there and walked along the rafters to this spot. I can’t see any other way she’d get up there.”
“Clever mama.”
“Mamas usually are.” Grant gave her a wink before leaving to grab the double-sided ladder, already set up in a corner.
He brought it back and motioned for her to climb one side. Grabbing hold, she stepped up each wrung until she could peek over the top of the rafters.
There it was, the little nest the barn cat had made on top of the door, tucked beside other various pieces of long-forgotten junk. Mama cat must have been off hunting, but she’d left behind four adorable, fuzzy kittens. Their squeaks and tiny bodies crawling over each other was enough to make Kallie giggle.
“How’d you find them?”
“I was in here looking for training supplies.” Grant climbed the other side of the ladder and looked over the rafters, too, shooting her a wink that had her knees fixing to buckle.
“How did I miss these little guys being born?” Kallie asked. “They’re so precious.”
“It’s been a busy few weeks. I’m not an expert on barn cats, but from what I can guess, they’ve only been up here a couple of weeks or so. I’m wondering if they were born while we were in Iowa.”
“Oh, probably. Or right before we left.” Had she honestly been that busy and preoccupied, to not notice a new batch of kittens?
Her arm brushed against his black checkered sleeve, only the ladder between them.
“Sorry,” she murmured.
“It’s fine.” His voice came low and thick, bringing her gaze up.
Dark green and brown depths reached into her, searching her as if he could take her all in. She didn’t know what he’d find.
Then his hand covered hers and she pulled away. She took to climbing off the ladder, and he followed in long, swift strides. He reached the doorway before her, hand up against the frame, fencing her in.
Inches from him, she sensed his heat.
“You going to push me away forever, Kal?”
Her heartbeat stumbled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
His fierce eyes captured her. “Just tell me something. Do you ever regret us?”
Closing her eyes, Kallie felt her chest tighten. The look in Grant’s eyes wounded her, his vulnerability matching hers completely. What could she possibly say that wouldn’t change things between them?
Or maybe things h
ad already changed.
Faint light crept through the open door, lighting the side of his square jaw, and suddenly she had to fight the urge to reach out and cup his cheek in her hand. Slowly, she shook her head. “No. I regret how we had the kids, that we didn’t wait until we were married. But no, I don’t regret us. At all.”
The muscles in his jaw tightened. He bent his head, and his lips grazed hers before landing on them fully, sweeping her away. A long time coming, his kiss was sunshine and rain and harvest all wrapped up together. Grant was all those things. The blossoming of new romance intertwined with the deep current of old.
How she wanted to fall. But tears rushed against her closed eyes as she somehow managed to break the kiss and step out of his arms. “I—I just can’t,” she whispered, her voice broken by a sudden sob. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
She rounded him and fled toward the door.
“Why not, Kallie?” His voice followed her. “Are you afraid?”
Kallie spun and stared him down. Here she was, running again. She had to face her battles instead of burying them. A storm raged inside her as soft rain pattered outside the barn. What little moonlight remained had splashed across his features in the open door, highlighting the fierceness of his green-brown eyes.
“I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be with me,” she finally said, her voice catching again. Dumb tears. “Everyone wants to love the twins. And I’m the mean old monster who hid them for two years.” She blinked and tears dropped down both cheeks. “What I did was unforgiveable.”
His stare never wavered. “But I forgive you.”
“I don’t believe that.” She paused for a moment. Then went on. “I can’t make the past go away, Grant. It’ll always be there, this incredibly dark shadow over our history. I think it’s better that I be alone. I’ve been invisible my whole life—why change now?”
“Because maybe I want to be with you.”
“You don’t.” She pursed her lips to stop their tremor. He had to stop this nonsense before it got worse. She already knew how this would end. If he didn’t mess things up between them, she certainly would, given time. “You want to be with the kids, just like everyone else, and you’re settling for me because we come as a package deal.”
Her Secret Twins Page 13