Biker Romance: Never Desire an Exile (Exile Love Biker MC Series Book Book 2)

by Kara Summers

  Most people from their small town married out of desperation rather than love. Some married for money, and others married because their families could no longer afford to feed them. It was a time when a girl was expected to be married by nineteen or she was considered to be broken in a way that no man could fix.

  Mari didn’t want to fall victim to that mentality, and as long as Brian was here she knew she wouldn’t. He would always be there to love her and take care of her and that was really all she could ask of him.

  She sighed and turned to face him, the grass tickling her cheek as she took in his perfectly browned skin. Years working on his father’s farm had toughened his skin and tanned it to a handsome glow. She reached out and brushed her delicate fingers against his arm.

  “Brian?”

  “Yes?”

  “Will it always be like this?” she asked sitting up enough to look at him, her blue eyes full of concern.

  Brian just smiled and sat up as well, reaching out to touch her cheek tenderly. “It will. I will always be here for you. You know that,” he said softly, leaning in to brush his lips against her cheek.

  Her cheek went hot with embarrassment but she nodded slowly. “Alright. I just worry,” she said softly, looking up towards the sky.

  “Why in the world would you worry? You know I care for you.”

  She sighed and brought her hand to her own chest, feeling her heart beating a hundred miles a minute underneath her dress and smock.

  “I have these dreams sometimes,” she admitted, turning to look at him.

  “Dreams?” he asked, eyebrow raised in something akin to concern.

  “Yes. I have dreams that a large storm cloud rolls in and destroys everything. Our farms, our lives,” she whispered, looking away.

  He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “Nothing like that is ever going to happen,” he promised. “We’re safe here. This is God’s land. Nothing bad will happen in this valley.”

  His voice was so reassuring and so tender that she couldn’t help but relax in his arms, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him in return. After a moment, he spoke and pulled away, cupping her cheek and smiled.

  “I love you.”

  The words echoed through the air like a spell and Mari could hardly find it in herself to respond. Her eyes widened and she stared at him for a long moment.

  “What?”

  “I love you Mari, and I’m going to marry you one day. I swear to you, we’re going to be happy,” he whispered, leaning closer.

  There was hardly any space between them and she took it upon herself to close it. She pressed her lips to his and it was like the world around them came to a grinding halt. It was just them in this moment and she wanted it to be like this forever.

  He pulled her close and put a hand to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in the golden strands, sighing softly. They finally broke the kiss when the need for air became too strong to ignore and sighed softly, smiling as he pressed their foreheads together.

  “I love you,” he said for the third time that day.

  Tears of joy welled in Mari’s eyes and she knew in that moment that she loved him too. She nodded, unable to get the words out as she threw her arms around him again, completely forgetting her dreams of the dark clouds that threatened to engulf her home.

  While the worry faded, the threat did not. Mari’s visions would come to fruition far too soon and with far too real consequences. Within six months of her and Brian’s first kiss, the first of the machines came to town. They took the jobs of all the hard working farmers and coal miners and soon enough the smog that filled the air made the land infertile and the animals sick.

  People grew tired of it and moved away from the once beautiful town and one of those people was Brian’s father. He packed up his family and headed out west where it was rumored that rivers sparkled -with gold and a man could make a small fortune within months.

  Brian had no choice but to follow his father and leave his little town and his love behind. It broke Mari’s heart to see him go and she knew that as long as he was gone she would never be happy.

  They were supposed to fall in love and get married and now all of those dreams were shattered and Mari was left behind in a dying town with no way out.

  Chapter Two

  Mari’s life only became more desperate as time passed. As more and more men left, the pickings were becoming fairly slim and Mari was left with only the bottom of the barrel of choices for a husband. Soon she became one of those desperate women getting married to someone she didn’t care for in the slightest; she didn’t want to be left alone in this cruel world.

  Her husband was a coal miner named Mitchel who made a decent living and had a good plot of land. At least he did in the beginning. Soon after the industrialists began moving in and buying the land, he fell prey to a bad deal and sold his fertile soil for a small sum of money that barely bought them a hut on the edge of town.

  Now they lived in squalor and never seemed to have enough food to feed themselves. Mari wasn’t able to keep their lives together and her husband didn’t seem interested in even trying. Soon after they sold their land Mitchel fell into a deep depression and started drinking. He wasn’t a very good man to begin with. He’d always had a bit of a temper and never seemed to control himself well, but this was only made worse when the booze took over.

  Mari couldn’t remember the last time they sat together and had a meaningful conversation. She couldn’t remember ever laying in the grass with Mitchel and watching the clouds float above as the sun trickled down and touched their faces. There were no good memories with Mitchel.

  Her marriage wasn’t the only tragedy she was forced to endure. A few short years after she married Mitchel, her mother and father fell ill with the same sickness that had been killing people off for years. It was rumored to have been brought by foreign workers who’d come to the town to help expand the railroad.

  Mari didn’t really care where it came from, her only concern was helping her parents get better. She knew it was a long shot but she couldn’t give up on them. They were the only thing she had left here. Brian was gone and her sisters had moved on long ago, leaving the town behind. Mari knew if she lost her parents she would have nothing else to live for.

  She did her best, caring for them day and night. She hardly ate or got any sleep, making sure that her parents always had plenty of food and water even if it meant she had to go without. She was willing to make those sacrifices for them. Yet even with all of her efforts, it wasn’t enough.

  Her father fell prey to the disease first, and then her mother shortly after. Mari had to bury them both on a small parcel of land near the railroad tracks that had destroyed her home. She hated these damn tracks. The represented freedom to the rest of the world, but for Mari they’d created a personal hell she couldn’t break free from.

  Soon after her parents’ death her own depression got worse and she fell deeper into her own sadness, unsure as to how to break its vicious cycle. Mitchel was no help either. His drinking only got worse and so did his temper. Soon enough their marriage shifted from miserable too dangerous and there was no one there to help her escape.

  One evening Mari was sitting beside the fire, watching as the last of the flames died out. Her cheek ached from a particularly hard slap meant as a reprimand for overcooking dinner, but she knew the violence was senseless. Mitchel hardly worked anymore due to his alcoholism and she knew it took a toll on his psyche to feel useless, though she didn’t really feel bad for him. This was all his doing and he had no one to blame but himself.

  She sighed and rested her head against the cold, stone wall and put a hand over her belly, tears coming to her eyes. She was pregnant with her first child and she hadn’t told anyone about it. She hadn’t even seen a midwife or a doctor yet. She didn’t need a second opinion to know that she was with child. Women had instincts about these things and that’s all she needed to confirm it.

>   Motherhood was something that had always appealed to Mari. Like any little girl she’d dreamed of holding a baby in her arms and rocking it to sleep. She’d dreamed of the family that she’d have one day, however, Brian was always there with her in those dreams.

  She knew that she couldn’t stay here. She knew that staying would mean subjecting her child to the same treatment she endured on a daily basis. She didn’t want her baby to fear its father and cower whenever he entered the room. She knew she had to leave Mitchel before his temper turned deadly. However, that was a lot easier said than done. This was the type of society in which the blame was always put on the woman. If she went to the sheriff or tried to get anyone involved they would just bring her back to Mitchel and insist that she’d done something to deserve the punishment. This wasn’t a world that was kind to women.

  Tears came to her eyes and she quickly wiped them away, trying to pull herself together. It wasn’t going to do her any good to sit here and cry. If she wanted things to get better she was going to have to make it happen. She wasn’t sure how, but she knew she could do it if she put her mind to it.

  Chapter Three

  Mari wasn’t the only woman left behind in the storm. Her best friend Katherine was left alone when her husband was recruited to work for the railroad. The money was good enough and Katherine’s husband was able to take care of his family from afar. The railroad stretched across the entire country and so men were expected to follow their work. It was dangerous and took them hundreds of miles from their families but it was worth it to many.

  It was early in the afternoon and Mari and Katherine found themselves sitting outside under a tree, mending their family’s clothes with rusted needles that needed replacing. They’d sat in silence for most of the day but Katherine finally spoke up, clearly concerned by the bruise that was forming on her friend’s cheek.

  “Did Mitchel find another reason to wail on you last night?” she asked, her voice soft and full of sadness.

  Mari tensed up and sighed. “Don’t make me feel any worse than I already do, Katherine.”

  “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, Mari but you can’t let him beat on you like an animal!” Katherine replied.

  Tears came to Mari’s eyes and she turned her head, eyes wild. “What is it you expect me to do?” she snapped, throwing the needle down. It would be lost in the grass but she didn’t really care. “Do you expect me to hit him back? To report him to the authorities? What am I supposed to do?” she choked, tears starting to spill down her cheeks.

  Mari hated feeling so helpless. She wished everything could go back to being normal. She wished she could be happy with Brian, the way it was supposed to be. Instead of the happiness she’d been promised, she found herself in a downward spiral she desperately wanted to escape.

  Katherine reached up and touched her friend’s hand gently, running her fingers along the skin to try and calm her down.

  “It’s okay, Mari. I wasn’t suggesting that at all,” Katherine said softly.

  Mari collapsed against her friend, wrapping her arms around the woman and sobbing into her chest almost desperately.

  “What am I supposed to do? What do I do?” she choked, shaking her head back and forth.

  Kathrine held Mari close and rubbed her back, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head. “Shhh, it’s going to be okay Mari. I think I found a way out,” she whispered, trying to calm her friend.

  After a few more moments of desperate sobbing Mari lifted her head and wiped her eyes, not wanting to cry anymore. She’d cried enough for several lifetimes. She hated it. She hated how sad and alone she felt. There was nothing left for her here and she knew it.

  “What do you mean?” she whispered.

  Kathrine leaned back to look Mari in the eye. “There are women who travel from all over the country and go out west. It’s mostly men out there now and wives are in short supply. Tim has told me that they put ads out to try and convince women to come out West and marry!” she said, gripping Mari’s shoulder. “They have no way of knowing if you’re already married or not. You can just disappear and start over, Mari!”

  Mari’s heart swelled and fluttered at the idea. Could she really get away from this godforsaken place that easily? Could she just disappear like a puff of smoke and no one would notice? It seemed like a long shot, but it was the best idea she’d heard in a very long time.

  She swallowed thickly and looked up at her friend, hands shaking. “Do you really think it could work? Do you really think I could do it?” she asked.

  “Yes. I’ll help you,” Katherine offered.

  Kathrine leaned back for a moment and rustled through her skirt pockets, pulling out a wad of folded papers and handing it over to Mari. It was clear that Katherine had been thinking this plan over for some time.

  “These are all ads I’ve collected over the past few days. Write letters and send them out. Don’t let anyone see you give them to the postman. If they see you sending letters and you suddenly disappear, someone might put everything together and figure out where you’ve gone.”

  Mari nodded, staring at the papers with wide eyes. It was like she was holding the keys to a whole new world. This was how she would escape this nightmare. She quickly tucked the papers away in her bodice and threw her arms around Kathrine.

  “Thank you. Thank you Kathrine. You’re saving my life.”

  Kathrine hugged her friend in return and nodded. “I can’t stand by and watch what he does to you. We’re going to end this now,” she said, cupping Mari’s cheeks gently.

  Mari nodded and the settled back in the grass, continuing to mend the clothes they’d been working on before. Mari found it difficult to focus, however, since her hands were quivering with excitement. For the first time in years she had hope for a better future.

  She went home that night, happy to see that Mitchel had passed out near the fire and was snoring away on the floor. A very small part of her secretly hoped an ember would jump out of the fire and burn the man in his sleep. That would be a just end for a man who took pleasure in beating his wife.

  Mari snuck away to their bedroom, which happened to be the only separate room in the small shack. She pulled out a stack of parchment that had never been used and a pen and ink well. She answered each ad with a fevered desperation, sweat beading on her forehead as she continued to glance back at the door, making sure that she was still alone.

  By the time she finished answering all the ads, the sun was starting to come up. Mari hadn’t slept all night but she didn’t really care. She had a pile of letters that were ready to send out and with them she had hope of for her and her baby.

  Chapter Four

  Mari managed to get out at least a dozen letters in a months’ time and within weeks she had already started to receive answers. Now, she was more than eager to get out of her home town, but she knew she had to choose her suitor carefully. She didn’t want to end up in a situation as bad, or worse, than the one she was trying to escape.

  This decision wasn’t just about her anymore; it was about providing the best possible life for her baby. She didn’t want to put her child in harm’s way, so she knew she had to be very diligent when it came to finding her new husband.

  She was careful not to give herself away as a married woman. She made sure to use her maiden name. Married women or women who were deemed ‘unclean’ often struggled to remarry. No one wanted a woman who’d already been tainted by another man.

  She knew she had to act fast. If she waited too long her new husband would be able to figure out that the child she was carrying wasn’t his, so as much as she wanted to pick the perfect man, she knew she didn’t have much time. It was a delicate balance of choosing the right man and choosing him quickly.

  All of the letters held some sort of promise. The men out west were doing a lot better than those in her home town. The stories seemed far too outlandish to even consider and she tossed them out readily, sure that the men were lying.


  It wasn’t until she came to a letter signed ‘Mr. Williams’ that she gave pause. The last name brought back memories of her beloved. He’d been then man she’d always dreamed of marrying. Maybe it was a coincidence or maybe it was a sign. Not only was his name Williams, but he seemed genuine in his writing. His story didn’t sound too good to be true. It just sounded good.

  He warned her that the west was a strange and dangerous place. He didn’t claim to have a massive fortune, but assured her that she would be comfortable and well taken care of and at the end of the day that was all she could really ask for. She wasn’t after a millionaire. She just wanted to be with someone who would take care of her and her baby.

  She signed the contractual agreement attached to the letter and reminded herself that she wasn’t going to go out west and find love. She’d given up on love the day Brian had walked out of her life.

  Within a few weeks another letter arrived and this one had no note. All that was inside the envelope was enough money to cover her travel expenses and directions on how to take the train to the small town of Billings, Montana.

  Her heart leapt into her throat and she held the envelope close to her chest, wide-eyed and hardly believing that the day had come. Of course she hoped that this would be her way out and she prayed that it would work, but there was always a little voice in her head telling her that it could all go wrong. She could fail and she would be stuck here forever.

  Now that she was holding the money in her hand she felt a swell of relief. She knew she was going to get out of this ruined shell of a town and she was going to be free. It took every ounce of her strength not to burst into victorious laughter. She ran inside the house, made sure she was alone, and finally let the tears of joy stream down her face.