Run So Far

by Elizabeth Monvey

  Not wanting to see what type of perverted thing his cousin planned next, Kyle decided to leave. He would rather walk all the way home than spend one more minute in such an awful place.

  Kyle opened his eyes.

  Finally, his memory had returned. He remembered how the girl, Trina, had lain like a broken doll on the bed, and the realization that she’d already been dead hit him hard. His heart thumped heavily at the memory of how he’d turned away from her, left her at the mercy of his fucking cousin, who must have accidentally killed her in a moment of unfiltered rage. Nausea hit him and he jumped from the bed to race to the toilet as fast as possible. Just as he opened the lid, his stomach heaved and anything that had been left in his stomach was expelled.

  “Hey, you all right?” Del asked from the bed. He was propped up on one elbow, staring at him with concern.

  “Yeah,” Kyle said. He spit out the last of the vile tasting vomit and flushed the toilet. “I just remembered that night.”

  “Oh shit.”

  Kyle grabbed his toothbrush and paste and cleaned his mouth. Then he sat heavily down at the table and rested his forehead on his arms.

  “Kyle?”

  “Oh my God,” he muttered, his voice muffled by his slumped posture. “Oh my God, Del! I did see it. But I didn’t know!”

  Del got out of the bunk and reached for his boxer shorts, sliding them on before heading over to sit next to him. Del put his arm around him.

  “Listen to me, Kyle, it’s okay.”

  Kyle raised his head. He couldn’t seem to stop the tears pouring from his eyes, or keep his hands from shaking. “I took the pictures and then I watched as he put his hands around her throat. I didn’t do anything!”

  “You’re experiencing an anxiety attack, just breathe, Kyle, breathe through it. It can’t hurt you.”

  How long he cried Kyle didn’t know, but when the session was over he was drained and his head pounded. He knew his eyes had to be red and puffy because they felt like he’d been socked in the eyes with a baseball bat.

  “How did I stand by and not do anything to help her?”

  “You didn’t know what was going on,” Del said softly.

  Kyle shook his head. “Still no excuse. I knew she was in trouble yet I turned away. How do I live with that guilt?”

  “You learn from it, that’s how.”

  “You mean the next time I’m at a disgusting porn shoot and some woman is being choked by a cock in her mouth?” Kyle ran a hand over his face, trying to wipe away the moisture under his eyes. “I think I liked when I didn’t remember.”

  “No, you don’t. Someone very wise once told me everything happens for a reason. Ever think her death stops your cousin from doing something far worse in the future? If he’s behind bars, he can’t hurt anyone else.”

  Kyle frowned as he tried to wrap his brain around that logic, not sure if he agreed with it. Despite everything, though, he was glad he had Del to talk things over with.

  “I’m sorry you got stuck dealing with this,” he said. “You had a very nicely structured life before I came and messed it up, huh?”

  “I wouldn’t exactly call my life before you nicely structured,” Del replied dismissively. “I’d say it was, at best, kind of neutral.”

  “And now?”

  Del put his hand around Kyle’s neck and pulled him forward until they rested forehead to forehead. “Now I feel alive again. I’m glad I could help you through this, just as you helped me through my emotional mess.”

  “You have no idea how much you’ve given me,” Kyle said. “I don’t know where I’d have been if you hadn’t let me come along.”

  “Same here. I hope that doesn’t scare you.”

  “No,” Kyle murmured just before Del placed his lips softly on Kyle’s. Kiss after kiss was just a light brushing, teasing. Kyle relaxed into Del’s hard body, wanting his warmth, needing his heat. And little by little, his insides thawed out. The sorrow receded and he could breathe easier.

  “Can you talk about that night?”

  Kyle nodded. “She bit him on his dick. Probably because he’d roofied her and that was the only way to fight back. I don’t know. So he hit her and wrapped his hands around her throat to force her to give him a blowjob.”

  “So you did see him kill her?”

  “Yeah. I’m pretty sure he accidentally choked her because she was unresponsive on that bed.”

  “Then he panicked,” Del said. “Dumped her body.”

  “I could’ve saved her,” Kyle whispered. He shook his head regretfully. “I turned my back on her once. I can’t do that again, even if it means destroying my family.”

  Del cupped his face. “For what it’s worth, you have my full support.”

  “Thank you, Del. That is worth everything.”

  Chapter Twelve

  They didn’t quite make it to Albuquerque. Instead, Del pulled over for the night, in a small nondescript town called Edgewood that provided the usual truck stop, several hotels and a handful of mom and pop shops. The local pizza joint was almost overcrowded, showing it was the only happening place around.

  “I can use the pay phone in the back to call the foreman of the site,” Del said.

  “What’re you going to tell him?”

  Del shrugged. “Rig problems, what else?”

  Kyle chuckled as Del headed into the back, where a pay phone was set up near the restrooms.

  They didn’t talk about his meltdown, to which he was grateful. It was bad enough he broke down like a little girl, no need to keep hashing over it. Tomorrow they would make their destination, Barstow, California and he planned to take his camera to the local police, give his story, and see what they could do to handle the situation. It might be the coward’s way out, staying away from his family, because this way, he didn’t have to face them when the FBI or internal affairs came calling. Whatever the case, he knew his life was going change big time tomorrow.

  “Come on, then,” Del said as he hung up. “Greasy dinner awaits.”

  That night they lay in each other’s arms and Kyle couldn’t sleep. Anxiety kept his adrenaline flowing and he was too wired to completely relax. Instead, he let his mind wander, reliving that night, and he vowed it was the last time he was going to travel down that highway. Del was right. He couldn’t keep thinking about the what-ifs. It was time to give Trina closure.

  ****

  Twilight had just given way to night when they arrived in Barstow, driving right to the construction site to deliver the container of pipes. The deserted site sat several miles out of town, a vast wasteland of dirt and machines waiting to develop the land. Del drove toward several buildings that had been set up as temporary stations for work crews and the bosses. Nothing but eerie quiet greeted them.

  “Are you sure this is where you were told to come?” Kyle questioned.

  “Yeah,” Del said thoughtfully. “The foreman told me to deliver it tonight.”

  “I don’t know, Del. This doesn’t feel right.”

  “Stay here. Let me at least knock on the office buildings’ doors. Maybe the foreman fell asleep.”

  “Sure,” Kyle said.

  He watched Del check the two visible buildings first, with no success, and then walk around the back to check the others. One minute stretched into two which stretched into three. Del did not return. Concerned, Kyle opened his door and jumped down.

  “Del?” he called as he closed the door behind him. “Del!”

  No reply. The only sound came from a light breeze that ruffled his hair. Kyle zipped up his jacket, glad of the warmer temperature in Southern California. While still chilly, at least it wasn’t east coast freezing. He walked to where he saw Del last, retracing his steps, and saw him sprawled, face down, on the ground.

  “Del!” he called, panicked and ran to him. Kyle went to turn him over, but something dark stained the collar of his flannel shirt. He rubbed his hand over it and realized it was blood. Kyle looked closer, wishing he had a stronger
light than the moon to fully examine Del. As he touched Del’s scalp, more blood smeared on his fingertips.

  “Stand up, Kyle.”

  Kyle’s heart stuttered when he heard his uncle’s voice. Slowly, he stood and turned to face Peter Hardigan.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  “I tracked down the cell phone number,” his uncle said quietly. “Traced it to Delaney Vance. Kept tabs on his rig. He almost threw me off by taking a different route, but I knew you would end up here.”

  “I didn’t do it, you know.”

  “Do what, Kyle?”

  “I didn’t kill the girl.”

  “And how do you know I’m here about that?” Peter asked.

  Kyle snorted. “Why else would you track me so thoroughly and fly across the country to say hello in the middle of nowhere?”

  Peter sighed. “What else am I to think? You ran the moment her body was found. Even Brian said—”

  “Brian’s lying,” Kyle interrupted him. He wanted to shut down the belief that Brian did no wrong. “Brian’s always lying.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m the one who’s gone to college, who never got into trouble. I take care of my mom and work hard, and yet you believe Brian’s an innocent little angel even when you have to drag his sorry ass home from drinking too much?”

  Peter didn’t say anything. Suddenly, Kyle was tired of tiptoeing around his uncle.

  “Listen,” he said, unable to keep his anger from coming through. “Your son is an asshole. When we were eleven, he swiped one of your pistols and went out target practicing on the stray dogs roaming around the neighborhood. He only stopped when the patrol showed up from the noise of gunfire.”

  “That day he told me you shot those animals,” Peter said. “I’ve been protecting you.”

  “Oh really? And that’s why you’re here now? To protect me?”

  Peter shook his head. “I can’t overlook it this time, Kyle. I have to bring you in.”

  “I didn’t do it,” Kyle stressed.

  Peter reached behind him and pulled out his gun. “Raise your hands.”

  “Unbelievable,” Kyle muttered. “I didn’t do it!”

  “You ran, Kyle. That tells me all I need to know. Hands up!”

  Kyle obeyed. “That tells you all you need to know? How about the fact that I saw it happen!”

  His uncle sighed. “There are witnesses.”

  “Let me guess. Brian?”

  From the side of a building, his cousin, Brian, stepped into the moonlight. “Yeah. I saw you choke her after you fucked her. We all did.”

  “We?”

  “The other men in your little porno movie.”

  “My porno movie? You fucking liar!” Kyle screamed and launched himself at Brian. His fist caught his cousin’s jaw, knocking him back but not off his feet. A second later, Brian returned the punch with an uppercut that sent Kyle flying back. Blood poured out of Kyle’s nose as he moaned, clutching his face.

  “Enough!” Peter yelled. He pulled Kyle up by the arm, holding tightly and shaking slightly. “I’m taking you back to Maryland, Kyle, where you’ll stand trial for murder.”

  “I didn’t do it!” Kyle insisted once more, his voice now sounding stuffy since his nose had swelled up. He felt blood sliding into his throat and he spat it out.

  “Brian told me about your porn movies, Kyle,” Peter was saying. “How you deliberately kept your face from being filmed to protect your dirty little secret. The only thing I can breathe easier about is the fact you tried keeping the Hardigan name out of it.”

  Kyle tried pulling his arm free but his uncle’s grip was like a vise. He let out a snort. “That’s not me in the films. I wouldn’t be in a porn film like that since I don’t like girls.”

  “What?” Peter asked surprised.

  “What?” Brian asked at the same time. “Dude, do you like … dudes? Shit. That’s so gross!”

  “You kill a girl and you think me being gay is gross? You’re a fucking moron,” he tried to go after his cousin again but his uncle’s hand held him back.

  “Is this true, Kyle?”

  He looked up at his uncle. “Every bit. I’m gay and he’s a moron.”

  “And the girl?”

  Kyle raised his eyebrows. “Haven’t you figured it out? Brian’s your porn king. He’s the one drugging prostitutes so they’ll be easy to manipulate. Think about it, Uncle Peter. Who have you always bailed out of trouble? Who’s record have you always wiped clean? It sure the hell wasn’t mine.”

  “Dad! He’s lying! He’s a fag and he’s lying!”

  “Shut up, Brian!” Peter yelled back. He let go of Kyle’s arm to run the hand through his iron gray hair since the other one still held his gun. “God damn it!”

  “Dad!”

  “I can’t believe this!” Peter Hardigan took a step toward his son. “Did you do this, Brian?”

  Father and son stared at one another. Kyle glanced over to Del, who still lay knocked out cold, and hoped he would be okay.

  “Why?” Peter asked. “You’re my son—”

  “And when did you ever pay attention to me?” Brian sneered. “Every night you were gone, caring more about some fucking criminal than you did your own family.”

  “So you did all those things so I’d pay attention to you?” Peter shook his head. “Grow the fuck up, Brian. You blamed an innocent man—”

  “Oh come on,” Brian said coldly, gesturing to Kyle. “He’s a queer. All fags need to die.”

  The hate pouring out of his cousin shocked Kyle.

  “Damn it, Brian!” Peter roared. “You’ve placed me between a rock and a hard place.”

  “So what are you gonna do?” Brian taunted. “Arrest your son? Let twenty-four years of cover-up come into the light of day? Ruin the precious Hardigan name? You take me back and you can kiss your career goodbye, you know.”

  Peter stared hard at his son. All Kyle wanted to do was check on Del and make sure he was okay, but suddenly his uncle raised the gun again and pointed it at Kyle.

  “Uncle Peter—”

  “I’m sorry, Kyle. I’ve worked too hard to let my son fuck up the Hardigan name.”

  “The name means more to you than justice?”

  Peter shook his head. “How can I arrest my own son?”

  “How can you arrest an innocent man?” Kyle gestured to Brian. “He killed her by accident. I remember that night. She bit him and he put his hands around her throat. I don’t think he meant to do it.”

  “She was just a whore,” Brian scoffed. “No one even cared she was dead.”

  Kyle frowned. “I care.”

  “Why did you run?” Peter asked.

  “Because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hurt you by telling what I knew,” Kyle said honestly. “Brian might be a mean son of a bitch, but he’s still family.”

  “Jesus,” Peter muttered.

  “Uncle Peter, please. You’re a good cop. You have to do what’s right.”

  “Thirty years of being a good cop, down the drain,” Brian taunted. “And there’s no evidence against me. Besides, you know what happens when cops get arrested. All their cases are subject to review. You might be putting criminals back on the street.”

  “You are a criminal, you moron,” Kyle told him.

  Brian flipped him off.

  “Enough!” Peter sighed. “Kyle, if I arrest you, my own nephew, for murder, I can gather sympathy. People will know I will do anything to protect them, even arresting my own family.”

  Stunned, Kyle blinked, hoping he heard wrong.

  “But… But … you’ll be arresting the wrong man! He’s your killer!”

  He used both hands to make the obvious gesture at Brian.

  “Your word against his,” Peter said, a touch of sadness in his voice. “Like he said, there’s no evidence.”

  “The cameraman—”

  “Never got my face,” Brian taunted.

  “What about D
NA?”

  Peter didn’t say anything, and that’s when Kyle knew that maybe Peter had already known his son wasn’t quite as innocent as he claimed. It was on the tip of Kyle’s tongue to blurt about his own camera and the pictures he’d taken, but as he opened his mouth to say something he realized that his uncle would never allow the pictures to exist. If he was willing to go to the extreme and sell his soul to protect his son, then he would smash the camera, delete the photo, and Kyle would go away for life on a crime he didn’t commit.

  “Come on, Kyle. Let me put the handcuffs on you.”

  “How can you do this, Uncle Peter? You’re a cop, you know right from wrong!”

  Peter Hardigan gave him a hard measured look. “And I won’t let my son ruin all I’ve achieved. If Brian is bad then that reflects on me, but if you’re the bad seed, then all I’ve failed is my dead brother and crazy sister-in-law. But I’ll make sure the press knows I tried everything to make you turn out all right. I can turn the media on my side.”

  “So you’ll let a murderer go free to protect your promotion?”

  “Shut up, faggot,” Brian sneered. “You’re the fucking murderer now.”

  Kyle looked between them and shook his head. “You’ll have to kill me now because I’ll never go along with this. I’ll tell everyone—reporters, other cops, lawyers, judges. Someone will think my story is interesting enough to investigate. What other skeletons do you have, Uncle Peter?”

  Peter stared at him and Kyle maintained eye contact, making sure he conveyed to his uncle that he wasn’t bluffing. Then Peter walked away from him and trained his gun down at the unconscious Del.

  Kyle’s mouth dropped open and he took a small step forward.

  “You ran to him,” Peter said, his hand steady. “I’m thinking he’s more than just someone who picked you up hitchhiking.”

  There was no way Kyle could hide his feelings about Del, not when his emotions had been bubbling to the surface for the past few minutes.