The Ex Killer Series

by Bridget Bundy

  “It feels right to me.” Tanie remarked with a chuckle.

  We arrived at the school, and there were a lot of people. Everyone was dressed up, and Tanie and I were dressed down in jeans and silly worded t-shirts. The bleachers were pulled all the way out on both sides of the gym, and Tanie and I went to the very top to get a better view. Eventually, everyone was seated and all the graduates started filing in two by two. The music and an irritating static sound blared from the speakers. I finally found Olivia out of the small group of graduates, and she was all smiles. I guess if I finished high school I would know how she felt.

  Mayor Lydia Franklin gave the commencement speech just like she did every single year, and I could have sworn it was the same speech each time. I was bored with the whole thing, but I felt like I had to be there for Olivia. At least, Tanie made it exciting. Her phone rang a couple times causing people around us to give her an angry look and some shushing. I giggled because Tanie didn’t care one bit. She answered her phone and talked on it like any other time, and I knew she wanted someone to say something to her. She hadn’t gotten into a fight in a while, and she was probably overdue. But that’s all we needed was to get arrested for causing a disturbance, especially at this graduation ceremony. No one really said anything, though, and the nasty stares didn’t bother her one bit.

  Eventually, Olivia was called to the stage to get her diploma, and she got a small cheer from her friend Helen. She sat all the way down in the front row. I could see Helen sitting next to some older guy I didn’t recognize. Did she quit her man and started dating someone else? She would turn to talk to him, and I tried to squint and see if I could recognize him. Why did I even care who she was sitting with anyway? We weren’t friends, and we barely spoke to one another.

  When the ceremony was over, Tanie followed me down to the floor. I was trying to get to Olivia before I lost track of her. I found her without a problem, and Olivia was talking to Helen and her new guy friend. I began to feel a little anxious as I approached her. The horror show of last night still hung in my mind. It was vividly clear, Jason’s breathing, her moaning, and the anger crept up and blazed like fire in my eyes. I had to keep my cool, though and show some fake happiness. I gently tapped Olivia on the arm, and she turned. She looked so different wearing her cap and gown, like the smartest scholar in the world. She looked beautiful, too. Deep down inside I was really proud of her despite the unmentionable from last night. It was like she grew up into a fabulous young lady.

  Olivia’s smile disappeared when she saw me, of course, and I felt that coldness that we shared sometimes. I didn’t want to ruin this for her so I congratulated her. I think she could tell I was being a phony, but I was trying my best to put on a show of support regardless.

  “Thanks.” Olivia didn’t mean it. It was okay, though. We were used to be meaning to each other. She spoke to Tanie just to be cordial, and Tanie returned the favor.

  The guy that was sitting beside Helen during the ceremony spoke to me. “Hello, Angela. You have grown so much.” I recognized him the moment he spoke. He was Olivia’s father.

  “How have you been?” He asked. Tony was being a gentleman, like I’ve always remembered.

  I didn’t answer his question, and my silence made everyone uncomfortable. Olivia said to me, “You and I need to talk. Excuse us for a minute.” The gym was still very crowded, and we were barely five feet away from Tony, Helen, and Tanie.

  Olivia said, “I’m glad you showed up.”

  I knew she meant what she said. Those words softened me up a little, but it didn’t make my visions go away. I said, “I wouldn’t miss it. I know this is important to you.”

  Honestly, it was not easy trying to remain calm. I wanted to speak my mind. My brain kept dashing back to last night, with Olivia on top of Jason. I could feel the heat rush to my face, the anger filling to my shoulders. My lip began to ache. I looked down at the floor trying to avoid eye contact, and I was also trying to remain calm. I wasn’t going to act a fool, but we needed to discuss Jason later on, away from everyone else.

  “Angela,” she remarked, “I have something to tell you.”

  I gave her my undivided attention. Maybe, a discussion wasn’t needed later. She was going to apologize, and I was ready to hear it.

  Olivia stated, “I’m going to live with my dad, and I won’t be coming back.”

  I stared at her without emotion or reaction. I never thought she would leave us for real, but it all made sense. When I got dressed today, I noticed all of her clothes were out of the closet, but I never thought about it again. I was truly disappointed she was leaving, but as blindly selfish I can be sometimes, I completely understood. Tony was her only chance for a better life, and Olivia was a smart girl. She deserved a chance. I knew she wouldn’t get the opportunity if she stayed here. We just didn’t have the money.

  My heart began to ache in the midst of my pinned up anger. I was confused. I didn’t know whether to be mad or happy. I needed to get my emotions in check. No matter what has happened between us in the past, I loved my sister. She is family, no matter what goes on. I had to show I was happy for her, all fakeness aside.

  “I haven’t told Andrea yet. I was thinking she was going to be here today.”

  “The last time I saw her she was at home with Pritchard.”

  Olivia nodded and said, “I’m not going back to the apartment. We’re leaving from here straight to the airport.”

  I said, “That soon?”

  “I’m not wasting any more time here, Angela. You have to tell her that I’m not coming home anymore.”

  Now, that was something I wasn’t going to do. I can hear Andrea now. She would blame me, and then I’ll get locked out of the apartment. No way was I going to tell her Olivia was gone.

  “Olivia, I’m not going to tell her.” I admitted. “You should have said something before you left home this morning. How long have you known you were leaving, anyway?”

  “After you left the house last night, so did I. I stayed with Helen, and it doesn’t matter how long I’ve known.” Olivia got pissed at me and asked, “Why can’t you do this one last thing?”

  “It’s not going to happen.”

  “I don’t know why I was thinking you would help me. You never do.” Olivia walked away and went back to her dad and Helen.

  Tony immediately noticed Olivia’s anger and started questioning her.

  I yelled over everyone, “Tanie, it’s time to go!” I wasn’t going back over there. I didn’t feel like I was a part of Olivia’s life anymore. Why lie to myself? I wasn’t a part of her life anymore.

  Tony remarked as he started walking towards me, “Wait a minute, Angela. Is everything okay? Don’t leave on a bad note.”

  “No, no, everything is cool. Don’t worry about it.” I was hoping my nonchalant attitude and a little smile would ease his mind. “Everything is as it should be.”

  Before anything else could be said by anyone else, I vanished into the crowd and Tanie was close behind me. When Tanie and I walked out of the gym, I heard someone say my name. I thought it was Tony again, but I looked around and saw it was the nice looking blonde guy from the nursing home. The one that helped me put the cart in the elevator. I kept right on moving. I wasn’t going to speak to him. I didn’t know him anyway.

  I realized when I was outside of the gym and going to Tanie’s car, I never did say good-by to Olivia. She was mad at me. I was mad at her. I guess it is best we all move on.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The graduation party was at the National Guard Armory, the only place big enough for parties in Colum. Well, at least the type of parties I attended. Tanie and I didn’t go inside. We needed tickets. I didn’t even think to ask Olivia to get some. We were good to go outside, anyway. We sat in the parking lot leaning on Tanie’s car drinking wine coolers. There were so many people going in and out of the Armory, and the music was loud enough to hear from where we were. Country songs were the appointed music of the mom
ent. The sun hadn’t quite set yet. So, a lot of people were outside, too. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, except for me. I was pissed, sad, and happy all at the same time because Olivia was gone. I wondered if I would see her again.

  Tanie knew I wasn’t in the mood for partying, and I could tell her mind was turning. I was surprised after being there for nearly thirty minutes she didn’t say what she thought. Maybe, I was wrong. Maybe, she was letting me stew in my own anger and misery.

  Tanie’s cell phone started ringing again, and she opened it up and started reading her text message. She snapped it closed once she was done, and she drunk the last gulp of cooler and opened another. She finally stated, “I think you need to get over it.”

  And there it was. Tanie’s unfiltered thoughts, saying exactly what popped up in her head. Didn’t matter if she hurt my feelings or made me mad, she had to state exactly what was on her mind.

  “You know it all, don’t you, Tanie. You are psychic.”

  “Sometimes I think I am psychic. I should have my own hotline.” Tanie chuckled.

  I stared at her. I wasn’t laughing.

  Tanie continued, “I won’t be staying late tonight. I got business early in the morning.”

  I hated when she had to leave town for Roscoe. When she left, she stayed gone for a day or two, and I was always stuck in the apartment with my sisters and Pritchard. I asked her, “How early are you leaving in the morning?”

  “You know I can’t tell you.”

  “I don’t understand the big deal.” Don’t know why I said that because I knew exactly what the big deal was.

  “I’m not going there with you, Angela. Change the subject.”

  I waved her off, and I took a drink from my cooler.

  “I did notice one thing at the graduation ceremony.” Tanie said as she looked away from me.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t see any bruises on Olivia. You’re the one with the cut on your lip this time.”

  I didn’t even dignify that with an answer. There was no way I was going back to talking about the fight with Olivia, not with Tanie.

  I guess Tanie saw that conversation was going nowhere and let it go.

  “Oh, my goodness, I haven’t seen that eye candy in a long time.” Tanie had a huge grin on her face.

  I turned to see what she was gawking at, and it was the guy from the nursing home and the graduation ceremony. He was walking with a younger guy towards the Armory. They got to the door and stood in front of it for a minute, and the younger guy went inside. I remembered his name. It was Alex. He was greeted with smiles and hugs from a few girls as they came out, but he seemed kind of withdrawn like he wasn’t impressed with them. They were clearly impressed with him.

  I asked Tanie, “You know that guy?”

  “And you don’t? I can’t believe it.”

  “I ran into him at work today.”

  Alex saw us. Tanie gave him a cute smile and a flirty wave, and he took it as a signal to come over. I figured Tanie was going to hook up with this guy, but I noticed he wasn’t really looking at her. He was making eye contact with me.

  He said when he got to us, “Hello, Angela and Tanie.”

  “What’s up?” Tanie wasn’t even fazed that he knew her name. They must have met before.

  “What are you two up to?”

  Tanie answered, “Chilling, drinking, and watching you.” She was laying it on hard. I started to walk away, but she grabbed my arm.

  Alex laughed a little and said, “Aren’t you ladies too old for this kiddy party?”

  She answered, “It’s the only party in town.”

  “That’s too bad, huh?”

  “Yes, indeed.” Tanie answered. I was trying to get my arm away, but she had a tight grip. I had to wedge my other hand between her hand and my arm, but still her grip was too tight. I began to feel silly, and I hit her. Tanie looked at me shocked.

  Alex laughed again, and I asked him, “What’s so funny?”

  “You two haven’t changed at all.”

  Tanie asked, “You remember us, huh?”

  “Yes, I remember both of you. Tanie, you were very popular.”

  Tanie admitted, “Sometimes that wasn’t a good thing.”

  “I remember you use to give the teachers hell. If you didn’t agree with what they were teaching, you told them. You were never shy.” Alex was right about her. He continued, “And you, Angela, you were an excellent basketball player. You were the best point guard that school ever had.”

  Alex impressed me, and I looked at Tanie surprised. He knew that about me? Nobody paid attention when I played basketball in school. At least, that’s the impression I got.

  “When did you see me play ball?” I asked.

  “You were a sophomore on the varsity squad. You were the only sophomore I knew or the coach knew that made it to the varsity squad ever in that school’s history. I use to keep stats on you, too, and a couple other players.”

  I remembered him now. He used to wear a baseball cap backwards, and he would sit and watch and keep track of our stats. He always smiled at me from a distance, but I never spoke to him. I always kept going, ignoring him like he didn’t exist. I admitted, “That was a long time ago. I don’t play ball anymore.”

  “You got around that court better than a lot of guys did, better than Jason Stone. I figured you would be playing for a college by now getting ready for the pros.”

  “I wish.” Boy, how I wish that was true. There was no way that was going to happen now.

  “So, what are you two doing tonight? I know you’re not going to stay in this parking and drink wine coolers.”

  “I was about to head home.” Tanie answered.

  “I guess I am, too.” I added.

  “That’s too bad. I got a couple of tickets to a show in Montgomery. Laila Benson is giving a small concert.”

  How in the world did he get tickets for Laila Benson? She is a new singer, and I love the first song she released. My face must have lit up like a Christmas tree.

  Tanie said, “Angela will go with you.”

  “No I won’t!” There she goes again trying to hook me up. She was crazy as hell! Just like that, she invited me to go with this guy, and I still had no idea who he really was. He was practically a stranger. I said, “You go.”

  “I can’t, Angela.”

  “Tanie, I’m not going.”

  “Well, that means tonight you have to go home. Do you really want to go home and be with your sister and her man? Or would you rather go with this good looking guy to a concert?”

  I pulled Tanie further away from him and I whispered, “I don’t want to go home, but I can’t go with him.”

  “Why not,” Tanie asked with irritation.

  I kept on whispering, “I don’t know him, and he’s…he’s white.”

  She looked at me like she was baffled, “You think you’re going to catch a white guy disease or something?” I wanted to punch her in her nose. She was such a smart ass sometimes.

  I was being serious, and she was making jokes. Did she forget where we lived? In the deep south and in a small town, where mixed relationships barely existed. As a matter of fact, it didn’t exist. It was almost like an unspoken rule. People do not date outside their races. It just doesn’t happen in Colum, Alabama.

  “Angela, this nice guy is offering you a chance to go to someplace nice. I really think you’re making a mistake if you don’t go.” Tanie spoke with seriousness.

  I was almost in panic mode. I shook my head and tried to say, “Tanie…”

  She became impatient with me and fussed, “Get over that bullshit excuse of race! Stop being stupid and go enjoy yourself.”

  “It’s easy for you not to care about what people think around here, but I care. This is a serious deal, Tanie, and I’m not going with him.”

  “If I didn’t have to work tomorrow, you better believe I would be going.” Tanie was aggravated with me. “I don’t give a damn what color he
is, and I wish someone would say something to me.”

  Alex must have known neither one of us was going with him and said, “Maybe, some other time.” I wonder if he heard what I said about him being white. I kind of felt embarrassed. What if he thinks I’m prejudice? I’m not prejudice at all.

  I got into the car hoping to avoid talking to him. Alex and Tanie chatted a little, and then she got into the car. She drove off, and I could tell she was mad at me.

  I said to her, “I don’t get why you’re mad at me.”

  “You’re going to wish you had of went with him. One day you will regret it.”

  “I seriously, seriously doubt it, Tanie. I don’t even know his last name.”

  “Are you kidding me? You have no idea who he is?”

  “I only remember him from school and that’s it, and I really didn’t speak to him back then, either.”

  “You really don’t have a clue?”

  “No, I do not. I do not know him.” Why would I know him anyway? I don’t get it.

  “That’s a damn shame, for real.”

  “What is? You’re not making sense.” I was beyond confused. I shook my head.

  “Angela,” Tanie turned off the music in her car and continued, “Forget about the fact you don’t know him. It’s not important. The thing that bothers me is that you refuse to step out of the norm to feel life. You’re not going anywhere and you’re not going to do anything staying in your sister’s apartment hiding from things you don’t understand or you’re afraid of. There is nothing wrong with a woman like you going out with a guy like him. You’re letting stupid back wood opinions shape your decisions, and you’re shortcutting yourself.”

  I gave up. I let her win the argument. I didn’t say another word, but in my defense, it didn’t feel right going out with him. I will admit it was a white racial thing, but at the same time, I didn’t know him. I didn’t know him at all.

  Tanie dropped me off at home. I got out of the car, and Tanie left. I stood on the sidewalk watching as she drove out of the parking lot. I wished I had her independence, her excitement to go through life no matter what it brings. She was right. I was scared. I was scared of Alex, and I was scared of living. I seem to always walk away from good opportunities. It became too depressing to even think about.