Hourglass Squared

by K, S

  I knew in that moment that I had to keep it together. My best friend was losing it, and I needed to be her rock until I could get her to Josh. Gently resting my hands on her cheeks, I tried to soothe her. "Brooke, look at me. Calm down, sweetie. Everything is going to be fine. You are going to beat this. I promise you that."

  The tears wouldn't stop. "I can't… I can't stop crying. Why is this happening to me? I can't do this, Savannah. I'm not strong enough to beat cancer."

  She collapsed onto the chair, and I knelt next to her, gripping both of her hands.

  "Brooke, I promise this will not beat you. Please don't give up. You are going to have to fight like hell, but you've got to do it, not only for you, but for Josh, for this baby."

  I took her hands and rested them on her belly and almost instantly, as if all of the water in her body had dried up, the tears ceased, and she sat up straight in the chair, squared her shoulders, and reached for her phone.

  Brooke plucked at the keypad of her iPhone, and I watched on while she shot a quick text to Josh.

  Please meet me at home. We need to talk.

  She stood from the chair and looked at me. Her eyes were black, and I felt like I was staring at an empty shell of my best friend.

  "Would you please take me home?"

  Utterly alarmed by her sudden change of mood, I nodded and reached for the door to open it and allowed Brooke to exit first. She bypassed the front desk entirely and made her way toward my car like a walking zombie, before she climbed into the front seat and closed the door behind her.

  I opened my door and scrambled into the car and quickly started the engine and turned in my seat. "Brooke," I whispered, terrified for the state that she was in. "Are you okay?" I knew it was a ridiculous question, but I didn't know what else to say, what else I should do.

  Her head turned slowly, like she was a robot, and a fake smile appeared at the corners of her mouth. "Just fine."

  My stomach knotted, and I rushed to put the car in reverse, hightailing it out of the parking lot and across town toward her house.

  Josh was pacing on the front porch when I sped into the driveway. His hands flew into the air as if to ask where in the hell had we been. I forced the car into park and unlocked the doors. He flung Brooke's door open and reached in for her.

  "Babe, what's wrong? Is the baby okay?" he begged, helping her out of the car.

  Brooke rested her hand on his chest and lightly answered, "The baby is perfect. Give me a minute to freshen up, would you?"

  Josh's mouth fell open as Brooke left him standing there at the car while she made her way inside.

  Not sure whether or not I should stay, I crossed in front of the car and over to Josh, linking my arm through his. "Go inside. Be with her. She is going to need you now more than ever."

  His eyes full of worry begged for me to tell him what was going on with his wife, my best friend, but I knew it wasn't my place. Brooke needed to tell him; it just wouldn't be right coming from me.

  Josh squeezed me, kissing my cheek. "Stay close to your phone in case I need you."

  I nodded as he ran into the house after Brooke, and the realization hit me that his world was about to come crashing down all around him, and there was nothing neither he nor I could do to stop it.

  As I drove home, the streets passed in a blur. I couldn't help but think of what Josh and Brooke were going through.

  When I opened the front door of my house, Jake called to me from his office. "How's my wife and perfect babies?"

  His words cut through me like a sword slaying a dragon, and everything I'd witnessed over the past hour was brought to the forefront. Allowing myself to give in to the emotions that I'd had to push aside in order to be strong for Brooke, I staggered backward against the hard, wooden door.

  My body slid down the length of the door as Jake appeared from his office and rushed over to me; he knelt in front of me and watched the tears take over my face.

  "Savannah, honey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Are the babies…" His voice trailed off, and I could tell by the look of dread in his eyes that he was beginning to panic. "Oh God, babe, please tell me our babies are alright?"

  I shook my head up and down, unable to control the weeping that was now raking my entire body. Forcing myself to speak between each sob, I choked out as much as I could, "Brooke. It's. Terrible."

  Jake's arms scooped me up like I was a child and carried me into the living room, before he softly set me down on our couch. "Savannah, you've got to calm down and talk to me. I can't understand you when you're crying like this."

  His tone was stern, but I knew it wasn't because he was angry with me; he needed to know what was going on, and, by the looks of my current state, he could tell it was something terrible.

  Caressing my cheeks between his hands, he continued to wipe the tears from my face with the pads of his thumbs, consoling me every step of the way. "Sav, babe, please, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong with Brooke."

  But each time he said her name I pictured her emptied expression in the doctor's office, and the pain worsened, causing me to cry harder.

  Finally Jake's phone rang, averting his attention from me as he reached into his pocket to grab it. Josh's face was flashing on the screen. "Josh, what's going on?"

  I watched, the tears still sheeting down my cheeks as I saw the color drain from my husband's face, horror blistering through his eyes. His hands grasped at the edge of the couch, and I tried to listen so I could hear what Josh was telling him, but my cries were louder than the speaker on Jake's phone.

  Moments later, the phone fell from Jake's hand and crashed loudly onto the floor as his body sprang up and onto the couch next to me. His massive arms cradled me and our unborn babies.

  "Savannah, I'm so sorry. I promise she's going to be fine. I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that Brooke makes it through this. You will not lose your best friend."

  His body rocked back and forth with me in his arms, doing his best to soothe the uncontrollable pain that had taken over my entire body, heart, and soul as I wept in his arms.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Brooke

  "JOSH!" I CALLED, kneeling in my closet on the hunt for my black stilettos. I slung shoes out one by one, trying to find the pair I was searching for with no luck. "Josh!" I hollered again, hoping he'd be able to solve the mystery of the missing heels. I heard a rhythmic thud coming from the main living area as Josh's feet hit the wood flooring.

  "What? What's wrong?" he asked, his chest heaving as he gasped for air.

  "I'm just looking for my heels, the black ones. Do you know where they are?" I was perplexed by his demeanor; he was standing before me, gasping for air and dripping in sweat. "Josh, are you okay? You look like you didn't get any sleep."

  It was Josh's turn to look at me all crazy as he analyzed me. "No. No, I'm not okay. You won't talk to me beyond the quick one-liner I got last night. I think, as your husband, I deserve more than I've got breast cancer before you hop in the tub." Josh grasped my hand and entwined our fingers. "Talk to me, sweetheart."

  My head shook all on its own; I had closed off that piece of my brain that worried. I didn't have time to worry or stress; I needed to come up with a plan and see it through. "I've got it under control, Josh. I scheduled my biopsy for next week and even called the oncologist that Dr. Green referred me to, so he is watching for the results. When I get that information, I'll deal with it and make a new plan. One day. One step. That's what I can handle. I need you to let me do this my way."

  As I slipped my feet into my other pair of black heels, I watched Josh for a reaction. I could see the pain behind his eyes as he navigated the field of landmines that was my sanity. I was on a precarious cliff, and he could see it.

  When I'd told him that Dr. Green was pretty sure I had breast cancer, he'd stared at me, flabbergasted with the news and waiting for me to say more. Nothing more had come. I couldn't. Each time the thought crossed my mind, I remembered the littl
e baby growing inside my belly and knew I just had to push forward.

  The week passed by so slowly as I settled into a monotonous routine. I woke up, went to work, and pretended like life was going on just as every day prior to my doctor appointment. Once I got home, I'd go fix dinner for Josh and me, then cuddle on the couch and watch television until we went to bed. Cycle. Rinse. Repeat. Basic life functions, all I was capable of completing without the emotions I could feel brewing in the background spewing over. If Josh or Savannah tried to talk about the cancer, I'd leave the room and lock myself off. After day two, they mercifully caught on.

  Biopsy day was here, and I had built an impenetrable brick wall to separate my emotions from my reality. I felt vacant, like the blinking sign at a roadside motel, advertising me as an empty vessel in need of something to bring it life. A kick in my belly jostled my abdomen, making a small smile appear on my face. As I rubbed the spot where I'd just felt the baby kick, a second hand wrapped around and held us both.

  "It's good to see a smile on your face," Josh crooned as his lips skimmed along my neck. "I love you, Brooke."

  I felt the tears beating on the dam, begging to be released, wanting to connect with Josh again, but knowing full well it would be my undoing.

  "I've got to get going. I'll see you for dinner." I moved to walk away only to be halted by Josh's firm hold on my wrist.

  "You don't seriously think you're going without me by your side, do you?" Josh's eyebrow shot up as he looked at me curiously.

  I shook my head no. Josh snatched his keys from the ring and led us out to the car. As soon as the radio began playing, I turned it up louder, blocking out my wayward thoughts and making conversation impossible. Before I knew it, we were pulling up to the local hospital, the same one I'd planned to deliver my baby in four short months.

  As the doctor explained the procedure and how they'd use a larger gauge needle to pull out a tissue sample, I tuned him out, nodding my head when needed. The biopsy was a quick process with only a bit of discomfort, and in a short amount of time I was on my way back out the door.

  "Can you drop me off at work and just bring me my car so I can get home?" I turned in the passenger seat to look at Josh as he focused on the road and gave me a quick nod.

  The only tell that he was worried was him chewing on his bottom lip.

  "Hey." I stretched out to touch his hand that rested on the gearshift. My fingers danced across the tops of his, tracing each finger before interlocking with his. "We've got this."

  The first smile I'd seen in a week attempted to make an appearance as the corner of Josh's lips turned up. "Of course, we do. I'll be here with you, sweetheart, every step of the way. I just wish you'd talk to me, stop being this emotionless robot you've become." His voice faded off as he realized he'd crossed my invisible line. He'd said too much, and I was shutting down even further.

  Lucky for me, he'd created his slip-up just as we pulled up to the tall glass skyscraper that held Hourglass. I was out of the car in a flash, waving to Josh with one hand, as I shut the car door with the other. The image of him rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands seared in my mind.

  Six hours. That's how long it takes for an entire world to go up in smoke. I know because my phone had just rung, and I was now traipsing out of Hourglass like a zombie. The elevator doors whooshed open, and I picked up my lead-filled feet to walk into the metal box.

  "Brooke?" Savannah called as I turned around to press the lobby button, then the door-close button. They seemed to slide closed in slow motion as Savannah's concerned face filled the closing gap. Her eyes pooled with tears as she met my own.

  Josh had parked my car in its usual place, and I drove home in a fog. As I pulled into my driveway, I wondered how I'd even made it there. All I knew was I was grateful Josh's space in our driveway sat dormant. I unlocked the front door and pushed it open. The thud against the wall rang in my ears as it knocked against the wall and rattled before I slammed it back shut behind me. My purse fell to the floor with a thud, followed by my keys. Kicking of my heels one by one, I kept walking down the hall.

  Once in the bathroom, I tugged my dress over my head and turned on the bathtub faucet and listened to the running water echo off the walls as the tub filled. Simple tasks. One by one. That is what I was capable of. I wasn't even thirty, and I had cancer. Newly married. Cancer. Pregnant with my first child. Cancer.

  Seconds, minutes, hours later — honestly, I wasn't sure how much time had passed. All I knew was the water had turned cold, and the sun was no longer shining through the window. Sinking beneath the surface, I let my brain unwind. I needed a plan. Goals. My first priority: get this baby safely to his or her father's arms.

  I pulled the plug, letting the water circle the drain and disappear. After grabbing the soft towel off the rack, I wrapped it around me, warming my shivering body. My phone was sitting on the vanity, the clock showing I'd only been in the tub for thirty minutes, despite the fact it felt like a lifetime. If this was how time was going to pass, I had a long journey ahead of me.

  The inbox showed a message waiting for me. Once I had clicked it open, I saw an appointment confirmation from the oncologist for later in the week, and it all came rushing back.

  Cancer.

  Pressing my back against the wall, I slid to the floor. The dam had broken down, and the tears were freely flowing down my cheeks as Josh came rushing in and pulled me into his arms.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Savannah

  "SHE DIDN'T EVEN try to stop the elevator from closing on my face. She just let it shut. My shell of a best friend, standing there as if her soul had escaped her body entirely." I rummaged around the kitchen trying to find something for Jake that would appease his appetite, but coming up empty-handed as my brain was only focused on how I could help Brooke.

  "I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to help her? I try to bring it up, to find out what else is going on. Has she seen the oncologist? Have the results come back? Was it a mistake, anything? I just need answers so I can help her. But no, she's turned into robot Brooke, making it through the day as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with her."

  I turned to Jake for solutions, but he just stood there, his face blank, unable to give me the answers I was so desperately looking for.

  Frustrated with his silence, I slammed the pot down, which I'd somehow picked up during my rant, onto the countertop and rushed off to the bedroom. I slammed the door shut behind me and heaved myself into bed. I lay there for a moment, using every possible muscle in my brain to form answers for all of my questions, but I couldn't. How could I be angry with Jake if even I couldn't come up with a solution? Brooke was my very best friend. She was my sister, and for the first time in our entire lives, she wasn't in control of herself.

  The door to our bedroom opened slightly, and the light from the hallway peeked into the room. I heard Jake's voice from the other side of the door.

  "You okay?" he probed sympathetically, trying not to upset me further.

  My body rolled over so I was now facing the door, and I looked into my husband's eyes. Without even having to say a word, Jake knew what to do. He swiftly crossed the room and climbed into bed with me. He held me against his chest as I clung onto him for dear life.

  "She's going to be fine, babe. I know this is scary as hell for you, but Brooke is a fighter. She has Josh and the baby to fight for. If you think there is any way she is going to let this beat her, you're crazy."

  I knew he was right, but I also knew in the back of my head that cancer didn't care if a person was the all-time reigning champion of every sport ever invented or a newborn baby. When it wanted to consume a life, it would take over with a vengeance, not caring who it destroyed in the process.

  I rushed into the office the next morning, hoping to see Brooke. I was determined to spend more than five minutes with her, even if I had to pretend like a life-altering disease hadn't stolen my best friend and turned her into a character from
The Walking Dead. My feet moved faster than the speed of light as I bolted down the hallway toward her office, bypassing the receptionist without even saying good morning.

  My heels screeched across the marble floors as I came face to face with a dark office. Glancing down at my watch, I noticed it was already ten after nine, and Brooke was never late to work. That wasn't her style. I pivoted on my heels and darted over to her assistant's desk. "Where is Brooke? She's never late. Is everything okay?"

  Lisa's eyes scanned her computer screen as she pointed to the monitor. "I received an email from Mr. Worthington this morning. It said that Brooke will be out of the office for the remainder of the week, and if anyone needs anything, they should contact him directly."

  My heart sank into the pit of my stomach, and I turned, sulking off to my office. I tossed my purse onto the couch and fell into my chair, picking up the phone to dial Josh.

  "Savannah," Josh spoke into the phone, and his tone was exhausted, defeated.

  "Josh, is everything okay? Lisa just read me your email." I waited as silence filled the room, no noise at all coming from the other end of the receiver.

  "She finally broke down last night." A heavy sigh sounded on the other end, and my heart ached for my brother-in-law. "I just don't think in her current state that she should be in the office. I called Monica this morning and discussed everything with her. She is aware of what is going on with Brooke and has advised that we take as much time as needed before she comes back into the office."

  A glimmer of a smile crept over my face. The witch does have a heart.

  Josh interrupted my thoughts and went on. "Brooke needs to rest until we can figure everything out with the doctors. I've already called a friend of mine and Jake's. He's one of the top doctors in the nation for breast cancer. He'll fly out next week to look over Brooke and discuss our available options, but until then we've just got to let her rest."