Risky Rules of a Passionate Governess
Page 12
It all at once occurred to Katherine that Nigel had delivered a note to her the previous day, and she had stashed it in her book to read later. She knew in her heart that it was from Elizabeth, so she picked up the book, pulled it out, and read it immediately.
Bird Brain,
I find it unfair that you have a whole new life and I’m left at home with mum and dad. Things are so quiet now and I find that I can’t stand to read another book. This is my only form of divertissement.
Nonetheless, I am happy that you are happy, even though you have abandoned me. And I’m jealous that the duke and his brother are dreadfully handsome. I remember seeing them in the garden on that fateful day and I thought to myself, “Katherine shall marry one of them. Knowing my sister as I do, she might marry both.”
I do hope you’ll return home soon so that I might see your face. I’m very womanly now and you shan’t recognise me.
Lizzie
Katherine felt tears come to her eyes. Yes, she desperately missed her younger sister. The homesickness that she felt before only intensified after writing to her mother and reading the letter from Elizabeth. Somehow, Katherine thought that these things would improve her feelings, but they’d had the opposite effect. So as to not remain secluded in her room with such empty feelings, Katherine decided to go back downstairs and see if the children wished to go out into the garden or down to the brook.
They were playing in the sitting room with their elderly maid, and both children had frowns upon their faces. No, they didn’t like that maid one jot. But as soon as they both looked up and discovered Katherine, smiles came to their faces and they lit up with happiness.
“About time!” Harry said, running towards her.
“Oh, Kat,” Constance said. “We’re so miserably bored.”
“Come, let’s take some fresh air,” Katherine said, and led the children out to the garden; Harry holding her right hand and Constance holding her left. Once outside, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Katherine felt her spirits lift. The encounter with Lord Garret and the subsequent homesickness had left Katherine in a poor state of mind, but seeing those smiles on the children’s faces, Katherine was reminded of the fact that being at Bonhomie was the right thing. She belonged there and the children were made happy by her presence, just as she was made happy by theirs.
Looking back towards the home, Katherine spotted Lord Garret up in his room, looking down upon her from his window. His expression was different than it had been that afternoon. He could not hurt her now. Katherine was more determined than ever to prove him wrong and change his opinion of her. She would put on her most winning smile and perform her duties as a governess with vigor and focus.
A new plan formed in Katherine’s imagination; give all her warmth to the children and the duke, and bestow upon Lord Garret nothing but coldness. Yes, if he wished to be cold towards her, then she would be cold towards him. It was the only way.
Oh, but how ghastly and difficult it would be, for Katherine still held affections for the icy brother. She still thought of him constantly. When he came up to her in the library and she thought that he would kiss her, Katherine’s heart was pounding with anticipation. How was she supposed to get a man off of her mind when he flooded her imagination constantly? Although it would take considerable effort, Katherine was still determined to do it. She would not let Lord Garret take her down, however much he seemed to want to.
Chapter 11
The Duke of Easterly was feeling content, particularly because his brother had been away for some weeks. It allowed him to merely enjoy his children’s happy faces in the presence of their beautiful governess. Things were looking up at Bonhomie.
Oddly enough, he and Katherine and the children were beginning to feel like family. Even Renee, the chef, and Nigel, the head footman, seemed happier than ever. Renee had been making delectable fruit tarts of late, with gorgeous berries from the garden. With all the tarts that the duke had seen Katherine eat, he had thought for sure that the governess would have expanded by now, but her figure was lovelier than ever.
The duke would watch their lessons from time to time, and was quite happy with the progress they were all making. Dinners were happy affairs with pleasant talk of the adventures and excursions that the children had had that day. Occasionally, the duke would look over at Katherine and see the late duchess’ sparkling personality within her. Whenever this occurred the duke quickly tried to think of other things, lest he turn Katherine into something that she was not.
This happiness was torn asunder when the duke sat down to his desk in the study and discovered that Nigel had delivered a letter for him from his brother.
Brother,
Switzerland has been a success and now I’m returning to Bonhomie. I do hope that everything hasn’t fallen apart since my absence.
Lord Garret
His letters were always as terse as his conversation, and as tense. Did Lord Garret think that he carried the world on his shoulders? It seemed so to the duke. Such utter nonsense. If only his brother could understand that life was about living and experiencing happiness. The return of Lord Garret meant that the atmosphere of Bonhomie was about to change. Renee would not indulge in his cooking as much, and Katherine would become more distant.
The duke had been noting the trend for some time; when Lord Garret was at home, Katherine seemed mildly on edge. What was the meaning? It troubled the duke and made him wonder if he should banish his brother completely. Although to do so would rip apart the de Bowes family entirely.
Lord Roland thought that, instead of judging his brother upon his return, he’d merely observe. The duke wished to get to the bottom of why it was that Katherine’s behavior changed in his brother’s presence so that he might amend the problem. Bonhomie was his home, after all, and the duke was ready to take charge of it.
On the day that Lord Garret returned, the duke noted that the servants were all on-edge and even the children seemed anxious. Considering that Lord Garret had only been gone for some weeks, Lord Roland decided against greeting him at the door as he had the last time that his brother returned home. Instead, he’d be seated in his study and allow his brother to come to him. And so, at around noon on Saturday, that’s precisely what Lord Garret did.
“Brother,” he said, entering the study.
“I trust your travels went well,” Lord Roland said, not looking up from his ledger.
“It was most beneficial. Sometimes, all that a man needs is a little Swiss air.”
“And Swiss skirt.”
“Must you always accuse me of a being a womaniser?” Lord Garret asked humorously, seating himself in a chair.
“I don’t know why else you would travel so much.”
“Why would one need to go abroad to find a lady when there’s a beautiful one underneath your roof?”
The duke was stunned. He looked up from his ledger and met his brother’s eyes. What the devil was going on with him? He did appear happier than when he left. Was he merely excited to see Katherine again? Was there something between them that was being kept hidden? The notion of it was remarkably distasteful.
“Don’t talk of such things,” the duke replied, on the offensive.
“Why not? Isn’t that what you wish to talk of?” Lord Garret replied casually.
“When did I ever give you the impression that I wished to talk of Katherine’s beauty?”
“Ho, ho, ho!” Lord Garret cried out. “So, it was Katherine that you thought I was referring to.”
“Who else would it be?”
“I’m not sure. Perhaps Sofia? Or that old biddy that you hired as the children’s new maid. What the devil is her name, anyhow?”
“Prudence,” the duke replied flatly.
“A perfect companion for Constance,” Lord Garret quipped. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” he added, getting up from his chair and walking to the door. When he opened it, a rather young man with blond hair and blue eyes stepped i
n. A thin lad. “This is Hans.”
“The gardener?” The duke asked.
“Indeed. He starts work today.”
“Good afternoon, Your Grace,” Hans said with a light German accent, bowing his head.
“Good afternoon,” the duke replied.
“I am most excited to tend to the grounds,” Hans went on.
“And we’re most excited to have you.”
With that, Lord Garret ushered Hans out of the door.
“Handsome young lad. Someone just needs to feed him,” Lord Garret said. “Hopefully he won’t ask Katherine to be his wife,” he added, turning to his brother and looking at him squarely in the eye.
“Let us take a walk,” the duke said, unable to stand his brother’s jokes about Katherine a moment longer.
The two brothers walked out into the garden and watched as Nigel instructed Hans in what his duties would be at Bonhomie.
“There’s something very important that I wish to ask you,” Lord Roland said.
“Then ask.”
“Is there something going on between you and Katherine?”
Lord Garret did not respond immediately, nor did he stop his leisurely walk. The silence filled the duke with anticipation for the answer.
“Why should you ask?” Lord Garret finally said.
“Because I notice a change in Katherine’s demeanor when you are at home. And I also notice that you speak of her a great deal.”
“She’s a topic for interesting conversation.”
“Come on, old chap,” the duke finally said, stopping his walk and provoking Lord Garret to do the same. “I see the way that you look at her, and the way that she returns this look.”
“You’re jealous.”
“It’s not jealousy in the slightest.”
“I’m merely observing her. Trying to see if she’s a fit.”
“Brother, we used to confide in one another,” the duke finally said, and it was the truth. There was a time when the brothers confided in one another, when they were very young. Lord Garret’s expression softened and he heaved a deep sigh.
“I fear that I’m confused,” Lord Garret finally said.
“How so?”
“I think of her from time to time,” Lord Garret went on, his tone all seriousness. “I thought of her when I was in Switzerland and I wished to return to Bonhomie for her sake. I don’t desire to cause alarm. I know that you feel the same towards her as I do.”
“No, brother,” the duke replied.
“How’s that?” Lord Garret asked.
“I said no. I mean I admire her greatly, that much is plain. I’m happier with her under my roof and yes, I do catch myself gazing at her beauty. But I will not give life or breath to these feelings because I do not want Katherine for a wife. It would confuse the children, and what’s more, it would confuse me.”
“I suppose that we do still have some things in common then,” Lord Garret replied.
“How so?”
“I, as well, want the peaceful life that you speak of. To give any credence to my affections for Katherine would be the end of my life as I know it.”
“Come now,” the duke said with a laugh.
“It’s true! Women bring all kinds of complications to life, and for the sake of the de Bowes name, I won’t have it. I need to focus on business at present. I need to remain clear about my need to govern my own life. The brief encounters that I’ve had with Katherine proved that I can certainly not govern her life.”
The duke was in awe of everything that his brother was telling him. Never had Lord Garret been so candid in his presence, and although there was still that tinge of jealousy when he admitted to his affections, Lord Roland thought there was something endearing about the fact that Lord Garret was quite so enamored with Katherine.
“You’re in love,” the duke teased, seeing the helpless expression on his brother’s face.
“I most certainly am not!” Lord Garret protested.
“You are beside yourself in love. I can see it,” Lord Roland assured him.
“That is utter nonsense,” Lord Garret replied, continuing their walk, his jaw knit with frustration. “Yes, I will admit that Katherine is different from other women. There is something remarkably special about her, but I don’t have time for it. Love only leads to suffering in the end.”
The duke went silent, thinking that perhaps his brother had learned that from his own experience. The only woman that the duke ever loved truly left him with a great deal of suffering and pain, but she also left him with two of the greatest treasures of his life; Harry and Constance. Deep down, the duke was very much afraid of getting hurt again.
“Sometimes it’s worth the suffering,” the duke suggested.
“You thought it worth it? The pain that you endured?” Lord Garret asked, challenging the duke.
“Yes.”
“The children aside, you would do it all over again?”
“I would, old chap,” Lord Roland said.
“Explain that.”
“The feeling of being in love is so rich, so pure, that there’s no denying it. The pain that is left in its wake is unspeakable and grotesque, but everyone must have one great love in their life. That’s my opinion anyhow.”
“You’re a romantic,” Lord Garret said, rolling his eyes.
“I’m not. I’m a pragmatic man.”
“Not as pragmatic as you should be.”
“I see things for what they are. The good and the bad.”
“Well, that makes you a better chap than me then,” Lord Garret replied, and began to stare at something off in the distance. The duke followed his brother’s gaze until his eyes landed on Katherine, wading in the brook with the two children. They were laughing and kicking up water at one another. “Bloody hell.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” the duke said, patting his brother on the back and turning to leave. His intention was to allow his brother space and privacy to view his treasure.
“Roland,” Lord Garret said, turning back.
“Yes?”
“Forget everything that I told you about my affections. Love is not for me and that’s that.”
“Very well,” the duke replied with a warm smile before walking off. As he returned to Bonhomie, the duke had to consider how this new bit of information was going to change things. Was Lord Garret only being cross with Katherine all this time due to his secret affections for her? And, if he were to give into those affections, would it perhaps improve the mood of Bonhomie for the rest of time? More so, if Katherine returned Lord Garret’s affections, what would that mean for their future together?
There was much to consider, and the duke chose to do so back in his study. As he was there, seated at his desk, Lord Roland considered his own heart for a moment. If Katherine and Lord Garret came together, would he experience remarkable jealousy? Of course, it was possible.
Katherine was a beautiful, divine woman. Any man would naturally be jealous. The duke decided to banish those thoughts and return to something of even more grave importance. If Katherine was indeed in love, would she be leaving her post as governess of Bonhomie?
***
Lord Garret found a grassy hill upon which he sat. The air was warm and clear and he was concealed just enough that Katherine wouldn’t know that he was seated there. She was dressed in white, and her brown hair was shining underneath the rays of the sun.