Samantha sniffed back tears, and brushed her hand across her eyes.
Her mom felt sick for her daughter, and prayed for wisdom.
“Have you told him how you feel?”
“No,” Samantha said hesitantly, and sighed. “I haven’t.”
“And why is that?”
“I’m afraid,” she admitted ruefully. Her mom gave her time to think that over.
“I can understand why you would be.”
“I don’t know what to do, Mom. I’m stuck here with him. He’s being sweet right now, and says he’s willing to do anything to get me back, but I know that could change in an instant. I can’t go through that again. I won’t put Caleb through that. So what do I do? Rob is pressuring me to go back to him. He’s being charming, so charming, that when he started to kiss me earlier, I almost let him. Then his phone rang, and I’m glad it did. But I love him, even though it makes no sense, and I miss him. For the past two years, I’ve missed him. The good side of him, which is what he’s showing me. I don’t know what to do. I’m completely torn up. And, I’m angry.”
“Okay…” her mom said slowly, as she thought. “You are stuck, as you said. Until it’s possible to leave, you’re stuck with him. So… He says he’s changed. Make him prove it.”
“How?” Samantha wondered.
“A good start, would be to stop pressuring you,” her mom said firmly.
“He’ll probably say he isn’t. He probably thinks he isn’t, but when he starts apologizing, he always begs for another chance.”
“You parted on a very ugly note. You’ve been apart for two years. He made no attempt to contact you during that time. What was he doing, instead? I don’t know the man’s heart, only God does. But if he wants another chance, he needs to put in a lot more effort than he has in the past two years. Maybe he’s changed since you last saw him. We can certainly hope so. We both know you’ve changed. He needs to make the effort to get to know you again, and to let you know him. Tell him how you feel when he pressures you. If he stops, it’s a mark in the plus column. If not, then he cares more about what he wants, than he does you.”
“Alright. I can do that.”
“You might see if he’s receptive to hearing about Jesus,” her mother suggested. “Goodness knows, he needs Him. The kind of lasting transformation you need to see, really only comes through Him.”
“If I try, and he responds, how will I know he’s sincere?”
“Instead of trying to fool you into letting your guard down,” her mother considered, as her eyebrows knit in thought.
“What do I do about all this anger? I thought I forgave Rob. I told him I did, and I wasn’t angry then, when I was absolutely certain he’d never have another chance to hurt me. But now, I am angry, and I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t want to be poisoned by holding on to hurt. But I don’t know how to let go of it.”
“He’s making an effort at the moment, you still have feelings for him, and you’re considering reconciliation, all of which gives him the ability to hurt you again, and so you feel threatened. You feel anger, as a self-defense mechanism.”
“You sound like Aunt Ryland,” Samantha laughed a little, and so did her mother.
“Gracious, not that bad, I hope!”
“No, not quite. Not nearly as clinical. But you are right. So what do I do?”
“I think what you shouldn’t do, is stuff down these feelings. They won’t stay put forever. If you decide to allow Rob back into your life, then at some point, those memories and their accompanying feelings will demand to be dealt with. You’re better off doing that now, rather than waiting. You need to find the answers to these questions: Is it possible for you to trust him again, or isn’t it? Are you willing to try, or is it a lost cause? You can forgive, it will be a process, but you can, and you will. But can you reconcile? Can you function in a relationship with him, or will the past constantly intrude? Will bitterness creep in, and poison your marriage? Because it will, if you don’t face this now, before attempting to restore this relationship. And you do need to express to him how his choices have hurt you.”
“You’re right. It won’t matter whether he’s trustworthy, or not, if I’m unable, or unwilling, to try.”
“Figure that out, before you do anything else.”
“I will. Thanks, Mom. I told Rob I was sore after hiking here last night, which is the truth. I told him I was going to take a hot bath, and I will. I’ll do my thinking in the tub.”
Samantha and her mom said goodbye, and she started the water running. While the bath filled, she examined her sweater and jeans, which hung in the closet, beside her coat.
Her sweater was none the worse for wear. But her jeans…
She frowned and her forehead creased with concern. To keep the strips of silky down comforter from sliding right off her legs, she taped the first layer to her clothing. A significant amount of duct tape remained. So did a good deal of adhesive. She felt of the tacky fabric, and grimaced. In spite of the feathers that coated it liberally, the adhesive had plenty of stickiness left.
Her coat appeared to be unharmed. As it didn’t come in contact with duct tape, it probably was. Her boots, however…
Samantha sighed in resignation, as she looked down at her robe.
At least it was long.
She turned her attention to the rapidly filling tub, and the hot, sudsy water, and decided to worry about what she didn’t have, later.
ROB frowned as he tapped to answer his ringing phone, and held it to his ear.
“Is this important?” he answered gruffly.
“Hello to you, too,” Erik replied. “And yeah, kind of. How are you?”
“A little upset,” Rob admitted.
“I never would’ve guessed. What happened?”
“I was about to kiss Samantha. I think she would’ve let me. Then you called. Thanks, for that.”
“The words ‘you’re welcome,’ somehow seem inappropriate. But you’re serious?” Erik asked in amazement.
“I don’t know, we’re talking, at least. We were hugging, and I would’ve kissed her, if you didn’t interrupt.”
“Considering how you sounded this morning, I never expected this,” Erik said in amazement. “You guys are talking? And hugging? That’s great, Rob! I’m glad for you.”
“Thanks, I am too,” Rob smiled, then frowned a little. “We still would be, if you didn’t call.”
“Sorry about that,” Erik sort of laughed. “Would you like me to keep the results of today’s investigation to myself? I can do that…”
“No, go ahead and tell me.”
“Are you sure? It’s not like me and Amber found anything important. Like the granite countertops, at the railway station, in a storage bay.”
“What? Are you serious?” Rob snapped.
“Then there was the barfight two guys insisted on initiating. One did try and stab me—he did stab me, come to think of it—but you’ve got better things to do, than hear about that.”
“No, I don’t. Not anymore, I don’t. You were in a bar?”
“Not voluntarily. What matters is, we found the guy who picked up the countertops.”
“We? You took Samantha’s little sister into a bar?” Rob exclaimed in disbelief.
“No. I didn’t take myself in there either, not exactly. But what matters is, everything turned out alright, and we got a lot of leads to work with.”
“We. You, and who else?” Rob demanded to know.
“Amber.”
Rob raised an eyebrow.
“You weren’t this annoying, when you were a kid!” he declared.
“Of course not. What you’re experiencing, is years of practice. I’ll tell you everything in a minute, but I want to know how your studying went. Did you look up the verses I gave you?”
“Yes, and I read John, too. And other stuff. I have questions for you,” Rob replied, reaching for the notepad.
“Great. Let’s hear it,” Erik smiled.
“O
kay, so… if I understand this right, I believe Jesus is God’s Son, and that He paid the debt I owed, for the sins I’ve committed, and I’m forgiven.”
“Yes. First Peter one, eighteen through twenty, ‘For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And it was not paid with mere gold or silver, which lose their value. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose Him for your ransom long before the world began.’”
“Okay, I do believe that.”
“You do. You believe?”
“Yes, so… now what? I get it, that I can’t save myself. So Jesus wiped the slate clean for me. I also know I can’t win that war against the sinful nature, that makes me do what I don’t want to do. The Holy Spirit will help me with that, but in one of those verses you gave me, it says those two forces are constantly fighting, so I can’t carry out my good intentions. I’ve been living with that my whole life. I know what’s right, but I do wrong. I’m going to mess up, Erik. Not because I want to. I don’t, but I’d be lying if I said I’ll never fail. So what then? I’m back where I began?”
“No. First John two, one and two, ‘My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an Advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous. He Himself is the sacrifice that atones for our sins—and not only our sins but the sins of all the world.’ That’s ‘atones,’ present tense. Because we do mess up. We all do. First John one, eight and nine, ‘If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.’ Also Philippians three, twelve through fourteen, ‘I don’t mean to say that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.’”
“Okay, good,” Rob said in relief.
“This is in First Samuel twelve, verse twenty, ‘…you have certainly done wrong, but make sure now that you worship the Lord with all your heart, and don’t turn your back on Him.’ When you mess up, turn back to God. Keep pressing forward. Galatians five verse sixteen says, ‘So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.’”
“That’s my other question,” Rob interjected. “How does that work? Is that my conscience, or what?”
“Follow your conscience, which the Holy Spirit will shape. Colossians three, verse ten, ‘Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like Him.’ Romans fourteen, the second half of verse twenty-three says, ‘If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.’ Paul also says in First Corinthians chapter four, verse four, ‘My conscience is clear, but that doesn’t prove I’m right. It is the Lord Himself who will examine me and decide.’ Our conscience isn’t infallible. We must measure our sense of right and wrong by the truth. We do that, the same way we learn to know our Creator. By studying the truth, the word of God. The Holy Spirit will never contradict God’s word. First John two, twenty-seven, ‘But you have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what He teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as He has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.”
“Fellowship with Christ, is studying the Bible?”
“Learning to know Him through His word, yes, and spending time with Him in prayer.”
“Okay, so I’ll start praying. And I’ll keep studying. I’m kind of surprised, it’s a lot more interesting than I used to think it was.”
“You’re a believer. That’s the difference. Second Corinthians four, three and four, ‘If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is only hidden from people who are perishing. Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.’ Second Corinthians three, verses fourteen, sixteen, and eighteen, ‘…And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image.’ Philippians two, twelve, ‘…work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.’ We obey in response to His love for us, and out of our love for Him. Because of that, it isn’t the burden you might think. First John two, verse five, ‘But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love Him. That is how we know we are living in Him.’ To know God’s word, keep reading it, like you have been. Romans twelve, two, ‘…let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ Philippians four, eight, ‘…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.’”
“Good grief, do you have the whole Bible memorized?” Rob exclaimed.
“No, but… I love God, so I love studying His word. That, and prayer, are ways that I spend time with Him. When I talk about Him to others, His words are the ones that matter, not mine. Plus, I’ve been praying I’d get a chance to have this conversation with you, someday. I’ve spent years preparing.”
“Well… thanks for not giving up on me,” Rob said, his voice gruff with emotion. “And thanks for being ready, when I finally was.”
“Thank you, for being ready. I’ve nearly worn out the knees of my jeans, praying for you. I know Grampa has, too. Are you going to call and tell him you’re a believer? Nothing in the world would make him and Gramma happier, than hearing that.”
“Yeah, I… I will. But if you talk to them first, you can tell them.”
“Alright. Thank you.”
“What do I do about baptism? I’ve read about it in several places.”
“We can’t do it over the phone, but in obedience to Jesus, we’ll do that as soon as you get back.”
“Okay, good. So… why were you in a bar?”
“We got a description of the guy who picked up our granite counters, and of his truck. A couple of hours ago, Amber saw the truck as it passed us on the road. So we followed it.”
“And ended up in a bar.”
“We ended up at a bar.”
“And somehow ended up inside.”
“Somehow, yes.”
“Well, you… sound awfully good for someone who was stabbed in a barfight.”
“Fortunately for me, I had God on my side. And, I was carrying my sword.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. Erik glanced at the screen, to make certain they were still connected.
“Where are you?” Rob asked in concern.
“I’m in our suite, at the hotel.”
“Okay… I’m calling Grampa. He and Gramma will be there in about three hours. Maybe less, when I tell them what you just said! Or maybe I should call an ambulance.”
Erik laughed.
“The word of God is also known as the sword of the Spirit. My Bible was in the pocket of my coat. It stopped the steak knife the guy tried to skewer me with. I need a new coat, though.”
“Are you serious?” Rob exclaimed.
“Eventually, I’ll need a new one. Amber sewed it back up for me. So it’s no rush.”
“I’m losing my patience. What did you do, you went in there to convert people?”
“No, but what matters is, we ended up interviewing a few people, and got some leads.”
“You and Amber.”
“That’s right.”
“Is there any chance I’ll get a straight story out of you?”
“No. It’ll be crooked and disjointed at best, in order to protect the innocent, the guilty, and the highly repentant. But what matters, is—”
“You got a bunch of leads. Fine. So what are they? You better give me that much.”
“The guy who picked up the order, is Paolo’s cousin, Mário. He said someone claiming to work for Amos Burns, called him, and offered him the job. Arrangements were made for Mário to pick up the flatbed trailer from a building site that may, or may not, be Andrew Whitman’s. Mário picked up the granite, hauled it to the railyard, then parked the trailer inside one of the bays, and left.”
“Then—the countertops, are they still there?” Rob asked, his voice tinged with excitement.
“No. They’re now parked in Amber’s grandparents’ empty RV garage, but that’s not because Mário told us where they were. Amber found them, before we talked to him.”
“Amber found them?” Rob asked in surprise.
“It was her idea to go looking. She reasoned that they had to be somewhere.”
“That’s… reasonable,” Rob acknowledged. “Still, I never thought of trying to track them down.”
“Neither did I. She questioned Mike, at Granite Solutions. The amount of snow accumulation on the truck and trailer, led her to believe both were local. She pointed out that it’s not like the guy who picked up our counters could use them, and he wouldn’t want to be caught with them in his possession. She asked Mike which direction the truck went, and that gave her some ideas where Mário—not that we knew it was him, at the time—might go to dump them. That took us to the railyard. The tracks in the snow indicated that a trailer went in, but not out. We followed, and—you should’ve heard her! This guy walks out from among the boxcars. We had no idea who he was, or what he wanted. She didn’t hesitate. In Spanish, she said, ‘don’t tell me you came alone.’ She sounded really unhappy with the guy. She had him thinking we expected some guy named Antonio, to show up with a bunch more guys. She had him off balance. But, it turned out he was a security guard. After I IDed myself, he and the other guard took us straight to the bay where the trailer and counters were parked. I hitched it to my vehicle, she got permission from her grandparents to use their garage, and that’s where the granite for models B and D, are now stored.”
Disengaged (Terms of Engagement Book 3) Page 19