With that, he disappeared leaving no time for anyone to respond.
“Your dad is scary powerful,” I heard Nate say to Tessa.
I let out a humorless laugh as I looked at my former beta. “So are you now… Alpha.”
Nate groaned. “Not funny. You’re taking the pack back as soon as we figure out how. I have zero interest in being alpha and I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say they don’t want me either.”
“Don’t sell yourself short,” I murmured before walking away. Lily called out for me but I ignored her as I left. I was beyond furious with her. Seriously? Raul? I was livid.
“I know you hear me calling your name. Stop walking away from me,” she shouted, as persistent as ever.
“What?” I snapped as I whipped around and looked at her. “What can you possibly have to say to me right now?”
“Excuse me?” she said, eyebrows shooting up in shock at my outburst. “I know you of all people aren’t snapping at me because I had sex with someone years ago. Someone I didn’t even know you knew.”
She paused dramatically, placing her pointer finger on her chin as if she were contemplating something. “Especially not after you neglected to tell me about Chelsea who you were sleeping with much more recently. You would never be such a hypocrite... now would you, mate?”
I growled in frustration. “I know I’m being an ass, okay? I can’t help it. I didn’t think you were celibate in Chicago but it’s different having it shoved in my face. Especially when it’s Raul… as if I needed another reason to hate the guy.”
Liliana rolled her eyes and honestly it agitated me even more. “Whose children am I having? Who is my mate? Not him. It was the past. Let it go. We have enough problems concerning our future that we need to solve.”
“He just announced that he fucked you in front of everyone. Just informed both of our packs that you liked it when he spanked you. How do I let that go?”
Her eyes were wide, unshed tears causing them to sparkle. “The same way I let the Chelsea thing go. By loving me more than you hate him.”
She turned to walk away and I caught her wrist loosely to halt her. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice as I moved to hug her from behind. My palms cupped her swollen stomach. “I’m sorry. I do love you. I’ll figure out a way to deal and I’m sorry for not telling you about Chelsea. It was done and over with before you moved home... but I was afraid you wouldn’t give me a second chance if you knew about it.”
Lily leaned into the hug, her back pressing against my chest. “We need to start acting like a team, Sam. We have two kids on the way. We can’t just keep walking off or arguing when shit gets real. We’ll never make us work behaving like that. Our babies deserve more and so do we.”
Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’ll try to be more communicative.”
“Alright,” she whispered before stepping away from me. “That’s my house over there. It should be unlocked. I’m going to grab Tess, Nate and Ryan. We have to come up with a plan.”
I looked at the house she pointed at and smiled. It was nearly an exact replica of my own with the addition of a wrap around porch just like the one her parents had.
“Alright, love.”
It was hard, letting go of the anger. I was so angry lately. Since my father’s death, my temper had been short-fused. I knew it, but I also couldn’t help it. Life had been a series of punches lately and I wasn’t sure if I could continue to roll with them anymore. Losing my pack bonds dampened my will to fight. I just wanted to give up and wallow with the hollowness that consumed me. Unfortunately, I had others to think about. The council would never stop coming for Lily. We needed to come up with a solution--fast.
33
Liliana
Voices exploded around me. What had started out as a conversation had turned into a full on debate. Everyone thought they knew what was the best resolution to our council problem and a compromise between the group seemed hopeless.
I let out a sigh of defeat as I leaned back on the couch and stared at my friends. Tessa wanted to change my appearance with magic so I could go into hiding and leave my pack. Ryan argued that an alpha couldn’t just leave her pack behind--he wasn’t wrong there--and that we should confront the Alpha Council. Nate thought we should try to infiltrate the council and take them out from within. Sam was the one that worried me the most though. As the rest of them bickered and continually shot down each other’s ideas, my mate just stewed in silence.
“Enough,” I shouted. I couldn’t take their arguing any longer. It grated on my already frayed nerves. “I’m not running,” I said as I looked at my best friend. Turning to my beta, I addressed his idea next. “We aren’t going to run off with a half-cocked plan. We don’t have the manpower to confront the council head on.” I addressed Nate last. “I understand that you think it’s wise to send someone undercover, but the council is going to be on high alert. I’m also not willing to risk someone else’s life when I’m the one they want.”
“What do you suggest then?” Sam asked. His voice was devoid of emotion as he stared out into space.
I paused. I wasn’t sure what to do. All I really knew at that moment was what not to do. I cocked my head at him as I replied. “Gather information. What did the hitman have to say?”
“Hit man?” Tessa snorted. “When did our lives become a b-rated action movie?”
Her comment elicited a chuckle from everyone in the room--excluding Sam. Placing a hand on his knee, I gave it a squeeze before responding to my bestie.
“Somewhere around the time I came back to Knoxville.” I clicked my tongue sassily. “Should’ve stayed in Chicago, Tess. You could’ve avoided all the drama.”
“Like your ass could survive without me,” she responded immediately. Her eyes flicked toward Nate shyly before she continued. “Besides, I’m glad I’m here now.”
“Even if we’re all probably going to die?” I said, my lofty tone failing at hiding my fear.
Sam reached out and gripped my hand firmly in his. “We aren’t going to die. Nate, do you have the interrogation notes?”
Tessa’s eyebrow shot up in time with mine, shock coloring both of our faces, as she exclaimed. “You took notes while torturing a man?”
“Yep. Thorough notes at that,” Nate quipped as he pulled a notebook out of a backpack that lay at his feet.
He passed them to me first. I thumbed through them, my eyes scanning the pages. He hadn’t been joking. The notes were incredibly detailed. He’d even documented the man’s lying tells.
“Care to clue me in?” Tessa snarked.
“Raul sent him--not the council. He was supposed to kill Sam and take me alive,” I explained.
“Why capture you?” She asked.
I shrugged.
“Because he wants your power,” Sam murmured.
“They came to take me to my execution. That doesn’t make sense,” I argued.
“I’m sure Raul would have faked it. He’s power hungry enough to betray the council by sending someone after us. He wouldn’t risk the wrath of the others just to kill you in the end.”
I looked at my mate, taking in his words. He wasn’t wrong, per se, but I still felt like we were missing something.
“How would he cover up my death though? Do you think he’s working with the witches? Why does he even want me?” I fired my questions off in rapid succession, barely pausing to take a breath. It felt like we were constantly seven steps behind the people who were hell bent on ruining our lives, and I sincerely hated it.
“You were a human and now you’re a wolf with magic… Of course, he wants you. Mix in the fact that you’re my mate and he hates me? Raul has already had a taste and is probably foaming at the mouth every time he thinks of you.” Sam’s words were bitter. I thought our short conversation prior to our impromptu meeting had smooth over the whole me and Raul thing, but--judging by his expression--it hadn’t.
“Sam,” Tessa hissed quietly.
He let out a sigh of frustration, raking his hands through his thick hair before scratching at the back of his neck. “Look, we all know Lily sleeping with Raul pisses me off but I’m trying, okay? It’s hard to focus when all I want to do is kill him and then mark every inch of my mate with my scent. You don’t get it, Tess. My wolf is raging inside.”
Tessa opened her mouth to speak, but Nate reached out. His hand grasped her shoulder lightly. I watched him shake his head with a sad smile as she met his gaze. Her lips closed slowly, her face marred in frustration.
“I get that you’re upset, Sam.” I murmured to him before standing. “We’re all upset. Your pack has been transplanted from their homes. We’re stuck here until we can figure out a way to defeat the council. Your bonds are gone--you can’t feel your wolves anymore. I get it.”
I turned to the rest of the room. “Tess, take Nate and go see if your father has any plans or advice. Ryan, oversee the housing of Sam’s pack. I want everyone in a room before nightfall.”
Ryan nodded and left immediately. The other two hesitated, looking between Sam and I.
“I said go,” I repeated. My tone was sharp as I stared at the pair. It was time I stopped relying on Sam and became the leader my wolf believed I was.
Once they left the room, I turned to Sam. “Well? Let’s have at it, then. Clearly our conversation wasn’t enough for you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he snapped.
“That! Right there! Your attitude,” I retorted. “Do you think I haven’t thought about you and Chelsea? That my wolf doesn’t howl inside my chest whenever I think about it? She does. It hurts, Sam. You fucked the reason we broke up!”
He stood up and glared at me. “And you fucked the guy I’ve hated my entire life!”
“I didn’t know! He was just a guy I met at school. I didn’t even know he was a wolf! I didn’t know you were a wolf. How am I to blame here?”
“You’re not,” his words were a yell. “Don’t you get it? I’m to blame. This is all my fault. Ben hurting you, Raul seducing you, my dad dying… It's all my fault.”
I took a step back at the anger and self-loathing in his tone. It broke my heart, knowing that he internalized so much of the hell that our life had become.
“Hey,” I whispered as I reached out to hold his hands in mine. “You’re not to blame for anything. Ben was responsible for his own actions and for your father’s death. Raul is just an asshole. There is nothing you could have done to prevent any of it. You need to stop blaming yourself. If you continue to beat yourself up, you’re just making it easier for him to win.”
Sam shook his head as he brought our intertwined fingers up to his lips. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of each of my hands before stepping back. Our fingers pulled apart slowly as he continued to walk backwards, until the hold broke. My hands dropped to my sides as he turned away, tears already beginning to fill my eyes.
“I’m going to figure out a way to get the council off our backs, but you and I… we’re over. I’m leaving once it’s safe again.” His voice was even, lacking emotion, as he continued. “I’m sorry, Lily. I can’t do this.”
His voice was empty, haunting, as he left the room. I heard the front door click shut as my heart shattered. Tears began to fall down my cheeks as I collapsed on the couch. He was my mate. He wasn’t supposed to leave me.
My tears turned into sobs as my wolf howled within me. Her heartbreak lent to my own.
How could he just leave me? Leave us? I rubbed my belly, promising my children I’d always be there for them--even if their father wasn’t.
34
Sam
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My wolf raged within me, as if he would tear me apart if he could, but I didn’t turn around. Going back and begging Lily for forgiveness for my words wouldn’t make things right. I needed to go. The darkness that I held inside, the hatred and anger, wasn’t good for her. I was a magnet for evil, destroying everything I touched. My mate was too good, too pure, to be stuck with me. As much as it tore my heart apart, letting her go was for the best.
“Sam,” my brother’s voice echoed across the clearing as I made my way to the arch that would allow me to leave Lily’s lands.
My pace increased as I tried to escape conversation. I was in a foul mood and didn’t want to take it out on my brother.
He called my name again as he sprinted toward me. A growl reverberated in my throat as I turned to glare at him. “Not now, Alex.”
“What’s going on? You disappeared without telling us anything,” he pushed.
“I. Said. Not. Now.” Each word was spoken between gritted teeth.
He frowned and crossed his arms. “If not now, then when? Since Dad died you’ve pretty much shut me out. You’re not the only one who is hurt.”
“Lily and I just broke up. I can’t deal with this shit right now. Have your alpha fill you in when he gets back. Not my responsibility anymore,” I snapped as I shouldered him out of my way and exited the pack lands.
The crushing feel of walking through the gate felt almost pleasant, like it was squishing the anguish from my body, but it ended far too soon. The pain and anger came crashing back once the magic had loosened its hold.
It was a bad idea to be out in the open now that the council was so openly gunning for us. I knew that. I just couldn’t bring myself to care. I’d just said good-bye to the love of my life and my unborn children. It was for the best. Lily hadn’t been wrong when she said her life went to shit once she came back to Knoxville. I’d ruined her life, bringing more danger to her door than I brought happiness to her life. If I could go back in time, I would have never pursued her--never set foot in that damn hospital. She should be living a happy, human life instead of the supernatural shit storm I had pulled her into.
A part of me wanted the council to find me as I made my way into town. A fight sounded pretty fucking great in my current state of mind. I wanted to tear Raul apart, to make him hurt physically as much as I did emotionally, but the coast was sadly clear.
I walked into the first dive bar I came across and ordered a shot of whisky. I wanted to be numb. That’s all I’d wanted since I first laid eyes on my father’s lifeless form, since the moment I watched my mate fall to the ground only to awaken a hybrid. I didn’t want to feel anymore.
The sun streaming through the dirty stained glass windows faded as neon signs lit. I continued to drink the entire time. The bartenders were at the other end of the bar, whispering to one another as they tried to decide if they should cut me off. I wasn’t acting drunk or belligerent but I’d definitely consumed more alcohol than the average human could tolerate.
I’d been just about to ask for another round when the door to the bar flew open. My former beta stormed into the bar and yanked me from the bar stool by the collar of my shirt.
“What the fuck is your problem? How could you do that to her?” Nate shouted in my face.
I grabbed his wrists and broke his hold as I stepped forward so that we were nose to nose. “Mind your business.”
“Hey! Take it outside,” one of the bartender’s shouted as a bouncer made his way over to us.
I stepped back and grinned maliciously at the bartender. “Great idea.”
I shoulder bumped Nate as I walked past on my way to exit the bar. It was childish, I knew it, but I was piss drunk and full of rage.
The newly minted Alpha followed me out. I could feel his anger streaming through our bonds which meant the rest of our pack could, too. The strength of his emotion fed my own, even in my drunken state I wasn’t unaffected. The rest of the pack was probably fighting amongst themselves because of it.
“You didn’t answer my question,” Nate spat. “How could you do that to Lily? She’s given up so much for you, went through so much shit, and you break her heart? She’s fucking pregnant, Sam!”
I surged forward, shoving him. “You think I don’t know that? I put her through hell. Her life was fine
until I came back into it. She’s better off alone.”
“Better off alone?” He scoffed. “Better off raising your two children alone? You’re being a selfish asshole.”
“I’m selfish because I want her to be safe?” I yelled.
Nate stepped forward and shoved me back this time. “You’re selfish because you’re running away when we’re all in danger. You’re being a coward. I used to be proud to be your beta… but now? Maybe it’s a good thing you’re not Alpha anymore.”
I didn’t think--only reacted. I punched him. His head snapped backward, but he recovered quickly. His fist connected with my mouth. I felt my lip split open, blood beginning to drip down my chin from the gash. I grinned. The pain was a release from the anguish I felt inside. Liquor had numbed my feelings, but they were still there. The injury seemed to help some of it seep out of me.
We continued to pummel one another until we were both bloodied and bruised. The fight ended when we heard the distant sound of sirens. I was lying on the ground. His last hit combined with my drunken state had upset my equilibrium. Nate reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.
“You’re a dick. You know that, right?” He said as he stepped away.
“Yeah, I know. Doesn’t mean I’m wrong though. Lily is better off without me,” I said as I turned to walk away.
“Hey,” he shouted after me. I kept walking but he continued anyway. “Don’t you think that should be Liliana’s choice? She should decide if she’s better off without you. If you leave her, it should be for you. Not for her. She can make her own decisions.”
35
Liliana
I felt hollow inside as I climbed into bed that night. Nate and Tessa had returned to find me crying on the couch. I’d barely been able to tell them Sam broke up with me before I devolved into a sobbing mess once more. I was hurt and, more than that, I was angry. How dare he? My heartbreak warred with my rage.
Alpha's Compromise (Alpha Selection Book 2) Page 11