Alfie the Werewolf 3: Silvertooth

by Paul van Loon

  Silvertooth pointed at the fake Mr Frogley. ‘You there. I’m wondering who you really are.’ He reached out with one hand and tore the hat off ‘Mr Frogley’s’ head. Suddenly Mr Frogley had shoulder-length hair. Everyone could see that it was Tim’s mother, and everyone could hear it too.

  ‘Shoot if you dare, you sickening Silvertooth!’

  Silvertooth grinned and took aim. ‘My pleasure, lady.’

  ‘No!’ screamed Alfie, throwing himself against the bars again. It was a desperate leap, and Alfie put all his strength and all his fear into it. That made a difference and the cage tilted and toppled, slamming into Silvertooth’s back.

  With a bang the gun went off …

  34

  Almost Free …

  The shot echoed through the forest as the silver bullet whistled out of the barrel of the gun, going straight up, just missing Tim’s father’s nose, and drilling right through the branch the net was tied to. Tim’s father shrieked with fright. There was a loud crack.

  Silvertooth looked up, dazed, from where he was sitting on the ground. ‘Whoops,’ he mumbled. ‘I almost hit the blue-crested nincompoop.’

  Grandpa Werewolf and Tim’s mother looked up too.

  A moment later everyone was looking up and everyone was holding their breath. The branch bent lower and lower. Tim’s father screamed and Leo roared. Then the branch snapped and fell. The net ripped open where Leo had finally gnawed through it and they both came tumbling down like ripe apples.

  First the thick branch hit Silvertooth on the head, then Leo landed on top of him. And then Tim’s father landed on top of Leo, leaving all three of them sprawled on the ground. Tim’s father and Leo lay there groaning. Silvertooth was out cold.

  Just then a small bush rushed forward. A hand poked out through the leaves to grab the bunch of keys on Silvertooth’s belt. Then the bush shuffled over to Alfie’s cage. The cage was still lying on its side.

  ‘Alfie, I’ve got the key.’

  ‘Quick, then.’

  Tim tried a key. ‘Help, this one doesn’t fit.’

  He tried another, but that didn’t fit either. Finally he found the right key. The lock clicked open and Alfie was free. He climbed out of the cage.

  ‘Look, Tim,’ he growled. ‘Here’s your teddy bear. I kept it safe for you.’

  A few seconds later Noura was free too. She gave Alfie a big hug.

  ‘What about me?’ Valentine shouted. ‘Don’t forget me, Alfie the Werewolf. After all, I’m your second-best friend. Aren’t I?’

  Alfie looked around. Silvertooth was lying stretched out on the ground, motionless. Leo and Tim’s father stood up unsteadily.

  Tim’s mother ran over to her husband with her arms spread wide. There were two starbursts in his diving mask. ‘Thank goodness, sweetheart, nothing’s broken except the glass.’

  Leo staggered around dizzily. ‘Leo’s whamsied on the ground. Now Leo’s head be aching over and out. Ooh, it all be turning black as the blackest blotterer. Byesie-bye!’ Leo fell over, unconscious too.

  Grandpa Werewolf was looking a little dazed. ‘This is all too fast and furious for an old wolf like me.’

  The real Dr Cutter and Mr Frogley were still shivering.

  ‘Give me my clothes back,’ shouted the real Dr Cutter.

  ‘Mine too,’ shouted the real Mr Frogley.

  Silvertooth cautiously opened one eye. No one noticed.

  ‘Have you hurt yourself, dear?’ Tim’s mother asked, checking her husband over from head to toe.

  ‘Let me out, quick,’ begged Valentine. ‘Then we can all go home.’

  Very slowly, Silvertooth opened his other eye. There was still no one paying him any attention. Everyone was too busy shouting and talking.

  ‘When are you going to let me out?’ cried Valentine.

  Alfie didn’t say a word. He just looked into Noura’s brown, gold-flecked eyes. ‘That was brave of you, coming to rescue me.’

  Noura smiled. ‘I—’

  ‘Shut up, all of you!’ Silvertooth leapt up suddenly. He’d already grabbed his gun. ‘Enough,’ he roared.

  Tim’s hand went up to his head. ‘Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid! I should have grabbed the gun when he was knocked out.’

  Silvertooth had a crazed look in his eyes. ‘I’ve got the gun, so you have to do what I say. In the old days I killed tons of werewolves and now I feel like killing some more. All you werewolves line up next to each other. Now! And then I’ll shoot some nice holes in you.’

  35

  Bang!

  Noura held on tight to Alfie.

  ‘Are things going to go wrong now, after all?’ she asked anxiously.

  Tim’s father straightened his diving mask and marched up to Silvertooth with his hands on his hips. Because of the cracks in the glass of the diving mask he couldn’t see a thing. He walked right past Silvertooth and started talking to a tree. ‘Now listen here, Silvertooth. Enough’s enough. We—’

  Bang! Dad stopped talking. Silvertooth had bashed him on the flowerpot with his gun.

  ‘I told you to shut up, blabbermouth! You’re not even a bug-eyed blue-crested nincompoop. You’re another impostor.’

  The pot fell to the ground in two pieces.

  ‘You monster! How dare you hit my husband!’ shouted Tim’s mother. ‘And how dare you call him a blabbermouth! That’s my job! Plus, you’re the impostor. You’re not Alfie’s uncle at all!’

  ‘My poor, poor, pot hat …’ Dad stuttered. ‘What a waste!’ He wobbled. It was as if he could suddenly hear birds singing.

  ‘Shut your traps, both of you,’ said Silvertooth. ‘Stand there and don’t say a word. I’ve had enough. I’m going to shoot holes in werewolves.’

  ‘You and your shooting,’ Tim’s mother said. ‘Stop it right now. You’d think we were in a cowboy film.’

  The real Dr Cutter stepped forward. ‘Silvertooth, my good man, restrain yourself, please. We don’t want a bloodbath here, do we? That kind of thing should be done properly in a dissecting room.’

  Silvertooth looked at Dr Cutter. Even his eyes had taken on a silver gleam. He shook his head. ‘You don’t get it. You’re just a nut in undies. I’m Sebarino Silvertooth, the terror of all werewolves. These specimens have made a monkey out of me. That’s why I am now very keen on shooting holes in werewolves. Just like I used to in the good old days. So get out of the way, Cutter, unless you’d like a nice silver bullet … right between the eyes.’

  Dr Cutter ran back to Mr Frogley. ‘He’s gone mad. Completely mad!’

  Silvertooth gave a nasty laugh. ‘Let’s see. Who gets to go first?’ He looked at Alfie. ‘Ah, my so-called nephew, of course. I’ve got a lovely little present for you here, made of silver.’

  ‘Wrow, I’m not your nephew,’ growled Alfie. ‘And I don’t want any presents. I just want to go home.’

  Silvertooth spat on the ground. ‘Tough luck, werewolf.’

  ‘Don’t shoot!’ screamed Tim’s mother.

  Tim’s father was still swaying. The blow on his flowerpot had made him go a bit cross-eyed. He kept saying, ‘Tweet, tweet. Where are the birds?’

  Silvertooth ignored them and brought the gun up to his shoulder. Slowly he aimed it at Alfie.

  ‘No!’ growled Noura, quickly jumping in front of Alfie. Without so much as blinking, she stared straight at Silvertooth.

  ‘Fine by me,’ said Silvertooth. ‘You can go first.’

  36

  One Last Wish

  ‘No!’ cried Mum quickly stepping in front of Noura.

  ‘Tweet, tweet!’ said Dad, pushing his wife out of the way.

  In its box the Scoffle yowled. Silvertooth lowered his gun. ‘Thunder and botheration!’ he roared. ‘We’re not here to play musical chairs. Stop it and stand still for once. I’m dying to get a good shot in.’

  He took aim again, but now Grandpa Werewolf moved over in front of Dad. ‘Aim at me then, Silvertooth. I’m already old.’

  ‘Whatever,’ snar
led Silvertooth. ‘I’m finally going to get to you, you old pain in the neck.’

  ‘No, Grandpa,’ cried Alfie, running forward and leaping in front of Grandpa Werewolf.

  Silvertooth aimed at Alfie, but in the same instant a bush shuffled in between the two of them.

  ‘What’s happening now?’ screamed Silvertooth.

  Noura immediately leapt in front of the bush, and so it went on. Mum. Dad. Bush. Grandpa. Noura. Alfie. And finally Leo joined in too. He’d regained consciousness.

  ‘Is this game for everyones?’ he cried, pushing Alfie aside and taking front position. ‘Leo be IT. Shoots at Leo, Silvertoothache.’

  The real Dr Cutter and Mr Frogley stood there gaping. The spectacle was so exciting they’d both warmed up.

  ‘These are all extremely Extraordinary Creatures,’ Mr Frogley whispered. ‘I want them all for the RCUPA. Especially that one with the flowerpot. Have you ever seen anything like it, Dr Cutter?’

  Valentine watched silently from inside his cage, tears streaming over his pale cheeks. ‘They all love each other so much,’ he said. ‘If only I had a family like this.’

  Silvertooth stamped his foot. ‘You’re driving me mad! Stark raving mad! But now I’ve had enough. I’ll just blow you all away.’ Again he aimed his gun at Alfie.

  This can’t go on like this, thought Alfie. This madman really is going to shoot someone.

  ‘Any last wishes, nephew?’

  An angry howl sounded from the Scoffle’s box. Alfie’s mind raced.

  ‘Um, yes, I do have a last wish.’ Slowly he shuffled sideways towards the box. ‘Can I stand here when you shoot me?’

  The others shuffled over after Alfie. Silvertooth roared with laughter.

  ‘What a ridiculous wish. You’re all mad. Why would you want to stand there?’

  Alfie looked at the Scoffle’s box. The tip of its tail flicked out through the bars of the door.

  ‘Um, the light’s better here, Mr. Silvertooth.’

  Alfie shuffled a little bit further until he was close to the box. Everyone else followed him.

  ‘Stop. That’s far enough! You’re not trying to escape, are you? Not a chance, werewolf cub.’

  A couple of strides brought Silvertooth up to Alfie. He was standing with his back to the Scoffle’s box. He didn’t hear the rumbling behind him, where something was bumping. Where something was stamping and knocking and swishing its tail.

  Silvertooth didn’t look over his shoulder. He leered down the barrel of his gun. The tip of his tongue poked out between his lips. He closed one eye. ‘Say bye-bye, Alfie.’

  He didn’t see what was happening behind him, but the others did. The Scoffle’s cage was moving, sliding back and forth, rocking a little, even tilting up off the ground.

  ‘I don’t think so,’ growled Alfie. ‘Look behind you.’

  37

  The Scoffle

  Silvertooth laughed. ‘That’s an old trick. Do you expect me to fall for that?’

  Behind him there was a rumbling noise and a deep belly growl that made Silvertooth turn around after all. He shrieked with surprise as the Scoffle’s long tail shot out and wrapped around his legs.

  Whack! With enormous force the Scoffle pulled Silvertooth right through the bars and into the small box. Bang! The door shattered into little pieces. Crack!

  Then there was total silence. No one moved. They all just stared at the Scoffle’s cage.

  ‘What was that?’ whispered Noura.

  ‘The Scoffle,’ growled Alfie. ‘I think it’s a bit angry with Silvertooth and I’m not surprised, after all the times he’s hit it.’

  Something snapped inside the Scoffle’s cage and then Silvertooth’s gun came flying out broken into two pieces with a knot in the barrel. The next moment something else came flying out. Two silver teeth. Then nothing. Just a loud burp inside the cage. Somewhere far away in the forest an owl shrieked. Valentine broke the silence.

  ‘D’you see that!’ he cried. ‘The Scoffle ate him up. Just like I said. It’s as small as a cat, but it can eat a whole elephant if it needs to. That was really smart thinking, Alfie, luring Silvertooth into the Scoffle’s claws.’

  Alfie blushed. ‘I didn’t know what else to do, but I didn’t mean it to eat Silvertooth. I just wanted …’ He sighed deeply and fell silent.

  Grandpa Werewolf laid a paw on Alfie’s shoulder. ‘You didn’t have any choice, Alfie. It was Silvertooth’s own fault.’

  Everyone stared disbelievingly at the cage that had swallowed up Silvertooth. Almost everyone, at least. Dr Cutter and Mr Frogley had slipped into the cab of the lorry.

  ‘Drive, Frogley,’ said Dr Cutter.

  ‘What about our clothes?’ exclaimed Mr Frogley.

  ‘Forget ’em. Get us out of here before they feed us to that creature as well!’

  Frogley started the engine and drove off quickly.

  A peaceful snoring was now coming from the broken cage. The Scoffle was sleeping soundly after its savoury snack. Tim’s mother walked over to Alfie and hugged him with tears in her eyes. ‘Oh, son, for a while there I was scared we’d never see you again.’

  Then Noura and Grandpa Werewolf and Leo hugged him too. Dad hugged a bush, thinking it was Tim, but Tim was inside the bush that Alfie was hugging. Everyone was very happy.

  ‘What a family,’ said Valentine, who was still locked in his cage. ‘I wish I had one like that.’ Once again he was so moved that tears ran down his cheeks. ‘Can you let me out of here? Then everyone can go home. And maybe someone will give me a hug too.’

  Grandpa Werewolf gave a deep sigh. ‘That sounds like a very good idea. Going home, I mean. But what do we do with the Scoffle?’

  ‘Well,’ said Tim’s father. ‘I think it’s a pretty cool animal. Unusual, I mean. For now it can live at our house. In the shed, maybe. That’s different. I mean, compared to a guinea pig or a hamster.’

  38

  An Unexpected Visitor

  The next few weeks flew by and soon everything was back to normal. Tim, his parents and Alfie were watching TV. It was evening and Noura had come to visit.

  Tim had his teddy bear next to him on the chair and couldn’t stop smiling. Every now and then he’d sneak a glance at Alfie and his smile would grow even wider. Alfie didn’t know why.

  Suddenly Dad coughed and looked at Mum. ‘Ahem, shall we tell Alfie then?’

  Mum nodded and Tim nodded along with her, his head going all the way up and down. He was beaming.

  Alfie looked at Noura. ‘What are they talking about?’

  She shrugged.

  ‘It’s like this, Alfie,’ Mum said. ‘We—’

  Just then the doorbell rang.

  ‘I’ll get it,’ Alfie said, running into the hall and opening the front door. To his surprise there was no one there. ‘Strange!’ Alfie mumbled and was about to shut the door when he heard a familiar voice.

  ‘Wait a sec, wait a sec. I’m coming.’

  Two shoes appeared at the top of the doorway. Someone was coming down out of the sky. Alfie stood there gaping as the shoes slowly descended, revealing thin white ankles … then two trouser legs, a black cape and white hands … and a pale face with spiky yellow hair.

  ‘Valentine!’ Alfie exclaimed.

  The vampire landed softly on the ground, baring his sharp fangs in a big grin. ‘Hi, Alfie. Can I come in?’

  ‘Sure! I mean, at least, as long as you promise not to be mean to anyone.’

  ‘I promise.’

  Alfie stepped aside. ‘Come in then. Nice. Can you fly? I didn’t know that!’

  Valentine wrapped his cloak around him. ‘Of course! All vampires can fly. Unless they’re locked in a cage, at least. This is my special flying cloak.’

  Alfie led Valentine into the living room. ‘Look who’s here!’

  Everyone said hello and the vampire’s pale face blushed red for a moment. Most people ran away the moment they saw him.

  ‘Um, hello, everyone. How are you and
how’s the Scoffle doing?’

  ‘Fantastic,’ said Dad. ‘The Scoffle too. It’s easy to look after and very shy. We’re still not sure exactly what it looks like. It sleeps all day rolled up in a ball in its box in the shed.’

  ‘It might have started hibernating,’ Alfie said. ‘And even if it hasn’t, it hasn’t eaten anyone yet. We’re going to let it stay until spring and then we’ll think about it, won’t we, Mum?’

  Mum nodded. ‘That’s right. Have a seat, Valentine. Would you like a glass of … um … tomato juice. I don’t have any blood. Not cold, anyway.’

  Valentine roared with laughter. ‘You’re so much fun. I wish I had a family like this. I …’ Suddenly he looked serious. ‘But I’ve come about something completely different.’

  Alfie looked at him. ‘What do you mean, Valentine? Why have you come?’

  ‘Well,’ the vampire said. ‘I wanted to show you something. I’ve brought Silvertooth with me.’

  ‘What?’ cried Alfie, jumping up.

  39

  Silverteeth

  Everyone stared disbelievingly at Valentine.

  ‘You’ve brought Silvertooth with you? How? The Scoffle ate him up, didn’t it? We thought it did. Were we wrong?’

  Noura fronted up to Valentine. ‘What are you playing at now? Are you trying to scare Alfie again? That’s not funny, you know.’

  Valentine smiled. ‘Really, I’m not lying.’ He stuck his hand in under his cloak. ‘I’ve got more than just one silver tooth. Look.’ He opened his hand, revealing Silvertooth’s two silver teeth.

  ‘The Scoffle spat them out,’ Valentine said. ‘Remember? This is all that’s left of Sebarino Silvertooth. I thought you might like them as a memento.’

  Alfie looked down at the two silver teeth and felt faint. ‘No, thank you, Valentine. A memento like that might appeal to a vampire. After all, vampires have a thing about teeth, but I don’t want them. I’d rather not be reminded of Silvertooth ever again.’