by Raven Scott
How can one person be so happy, but so sad at the same time?
25
Goodbye
One of my favorite poets, Emily Dickinson once said,
“Because I could not stop for Death—
He kindly stopped for me—
The Carriage held but just Ourselves—
And Immortality. We slowly drove— He knew no
haste
And I had put away
My labor and leisure too,
For His Civility—
Dalton wasn’t given a chance to stop for death. No, his chance was taken away from him when that person got behind the wheel drunk. That person took one of my very best friends away from me and my boyfriend. That person took away my other best friend’s soulmate… the person that was her forever. That person took away my roommate and best friend’s brother… the only family she had left. That person took away one of the best fucking men any of us knew. I can only hope my friend will find peace in heaven, because I know that’s where he went. No human being that good could go anywhere else. He deserves peace in his afterlife, and he deserves justice on earth.
Two weeks have already gone by without hearing from the DA on their case. Parker is already in the mode of revenge or justice against the person who killed Dalton and nearly killed Cannon.
“When the hell are they going to act? Are they going to just wait around, doing nothing, while that monster is walking around a free man… while my Dalton is lying in the room downstairs— dead? I am going to do something about it myself,” she says trying to leave.
Rogen blocks her path.
“P, I get that you are mad, and you have every right to be… but you are not thinking straight. Give them time… they are probably building a case. Right, Cannon and Collins?” Rogen asks us with pleading eyes.
“Yes, Rogen is right. Sis, I know that you are upset, and we all are too. But, we must let the law do its job. That’s what Dalton would want us to do,” he says.
I calmly get up from where I’m sitting next to Cannon, and walk over to her. I place my hands on either shoulder and say, “Parker, I know that you want action taken towards that horrible person. I know because that fucking drunk about took my love away from me, and he did take one of my best friends away from me. But we must do everything the right way. Killing him would be too easy for him, and he deserves the cold justice of life in prison where he would have to look at the same damn four walls for the rest of his days knowing that he killed a good person.”
That seems to stir the Parker we know back to her somewhat originality.
The day goes by in a blur. Since the day Cannon and I declared our love for one another, I haven’t left his side.
We sit there holding each other, soaking up our newly confessed love, unaware that Vive has entered the room. I hadn’t thought I would have to see her ever again.
Am I ready to face her? Will Cannon tell her that he will never see her again? I hope so because that’s a deal breaker for me. I don’t want her in Cannon’s life, but are we at a place where I can voice that? These are some of the things I planned to ask him after we got him home.
“Oh, Cannon. I just heard about what happened. I came straight over from the airport,” she says coming to his other side.
I try to leave because I feel like I’m the one imposing on them.
“Love, I need you to stay and hear this,” Cannon says to me.
I nod to him.
He keeps hold of my hand and turns to Vive, who is staring daggers into our joint hands.
“Vive, you need to fucking know now that I never wanted anything more with you than sex. I am sorry if I ever let you believe that it could be more. But this will be the last time we see each other, and if I hear you trying to start shit with me or Collins then it will be a whole lot worse than this nice talk we are having now,” he says in a threatening non- Cannon voice.
“But, you can’t possibly want more with this fucking fat ass. Cannon, baby, I can be the woman who would be more suited for you,” she purrs.
What in the fucking hell is wrong with this girl? He just said he didn’t want to be with her. He is choosing me. Then it hits me. I know how it is to feel rejected and alone.
Cannon starts to say, “Vive, get the—”
“Cannon, hun. Let me deal with this, okay?” I say squeezing his hand. “Vive, I am truly sorry. I know how it feels to be rejected, and put to the side for someone else. But you need to realize that I am beautiful to him, and he loves me. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow. But you need to know that you are no longer going to be a part of his life. It would nice if you leave now, before you embarrass yourself more,” I state to her.
She simply looks at us and then walks out.
“Love, I am so proud of you for standing your ground. But I am sorry for everything she has put you through. I think I may love you more now. It’s like each day I fall more in love with you and your newfound bravery,” he says.
“Cannon, I love you so much. You and the others helped me to become braver than I ever have been. So, thank you for that, and thank you for loving me,” I say.
He leans in and kisses me with passion and love. Soon the kiss starts to ignite more heated touches. I pull away because we are still in the hospital.
“Love, I will have that sweet little pussy on my mouth soon. That’s a fucking promise,” he states.
My pussy is drenched just thinking about it. He knows it, too.
“I’ll hold you to it… but know when you have this pussy on your mouth… I will have your dick in mine,” I breathe.
He groans.
I love this man more every day.
The week goes by in haste, and Cannon is set to be discharged today. He’s decided that he wants to stay at my place rather than his. The doctor comes by to help us get discharged faster.
“Hallo, Doc. I have one more quick question,” Cannon states.
“Go ahead, Mr. Helding.”
“When will I be able to fuck my girl?” he blatantly asks.
My face goes red with embarrassment and curiosity.
“Cannon!”
“You are in the clear to choose whatever activities you want. Just, umm, start out easy,” the doctor says and leaves.
“Love, we are so keeping that promise we made as soon as we get home,” he says like it’s a sure deal.
What I am thinking? I know that I will do anything for this man of mine. I will never get used to saying that… I still have moments when I think all of this is a dream, and I will wake up. I will be back in Alabama with Tyler still abusing me continuously. But I’m not. I’m here, and I fucking survived my pain. I have friends that love me and a man that loves all of me.
“Come on. Let’s get you home, Can,” I say dragging him along with me.
We arrived home to a welcome home party thrown by my sweet brother.
I know Cannon wants it to be just the two of us at first, but his family needs to see that he is okay.
“Oh, Cannon. I’m so happy to see that you are okay and happy,” his mother says giving him a hug.
“Collins, we are forever in your debt for helping our son in so many ways,” Cannon’s father says.
“No, the pleasure is all mine,” I state looking loving towards my man.
“Will you give us a moment, everyone,” he says pulling me towards my room.
He shuts the door and locks it. When he turns, there’s a fiery passion in his eyes.
He comes towards me and kneels. He starts to unbutton my pants and slides them down. I groan when his hand lightly caresses my wetness.
“Fuck, you are so ready for me. Always,” he whispers.
I grabbed hold of his hair and yank him up to my lips. “Yes, only you.”
He pushes me to my bed and unzipped his fly, freeing his cock. My mouth and pussy begin to water with readiness for him to fill me. I know I should be worried about everyone outside my door, but I’m not. We need this. This is the firs
t time since before everything that we have been through to be this connected.
“I want you to fucking scream my name. Let everyone know that I’m the only one that can make you scream,” he says as he slams into me with such force that I am jarred farther onto the bed.
He feels so good inside me. He starts slamming hard into me, then out, and again. He leans down and starts showing my nipples attention. I’m getting close, and I know that he knows because he starts fucking me harder. He pinches my clit hard, and I lose it. My pussy starts convulsing around him. “Cannon, yes,” I screamed.
I watch as he searches for his release, and I know he finds it when he throws his head back yelling my name, “Collins, fuck yes.”
He rolls over but keeps us physically connected. “I love you so much, Collins. With my every breath until my last,” he says while nuzzling into my hair.
“Cannon, make love to me,” I whisper.
He starts slowly moving inside me while whispering the sweetest things to me. We both keep the rhythm for a bit, embracing each other, finding the pleasurable releases we crave.
We lie there cuddling in complete bliss but realize that we have people here wanting to see Cannon. So we put our clothes back on and kiss each other sweetly on the lips before opening the door.
I know right at this very moment, I will never love anyone else ever again. Not the way I love Cannon… for me, he is my forever.
26
Justice
The DA finally started the process of the case against Dalton’s murderer. Parker isn’t the same anymore, but who would be after losing the love of their life? No one. It took only a couple of weeks of trial to find the verdict, guilty. The young man made a public apology towards Dalton’s friends and family, but the damage is done. It won’t bring him back, but I know Dalton would have wanted us to accept it and move on.
We buried him the day after his murderer was sentenced to five years in prison for involuntary manslaughter. The injustice is that he will not even end up serving the full amount of time that he was given. It was one of the saddest days of my whole life… I can’t imagine Parker’s feelings that day. At least, Cannon and I had each other to get through it. Rogen had really been there for Parker, and I’m so blessed to have such a great big brother that would do that for his friends.
four days ago…
Today is the day we say goodbye to our dear friend, Dalton. He was the kind of person who was there for someone a hundred percent, and I will miss him so much. To pay tribute to his honor, we decided to wear his color in some form. It was Parker’s idea.
“Love, are you okay?” Cannon says coming up from behind me.
“I will be. It’s just so hard knowing I will never see him again. He will never be there to give me advice on life or love. It’s just so fucking hard knowing this will be the last time we will see him until one day.” I say crying into his shoulder.
“I know that it’s hard, love. But, I will be here for you, and we will get through this together. Okay?” he says to me.
Knowing I have Cannon makes this day just a little bit easier. “Okay.”
Rogen leans into the door and says, “Are y’all ready to get going?”
“Yea, Rog,” I say in a weak voice.
Cannon leans in and gives me a sweet kiss on the lips, and pulls me toward the door.
We arrive at the cemetery for Dalton’s graveside funeral. Since the only family that he had was Rain, we all decided to help with the arrangements. Picking out what he would wear and what… what type of coffin he would be buried in was hard for us. It was so unfair… we should have been planning for the proposal, not doing this.
Rogen gets out of the vehicle along with Parker and Rain. Cannon glances at me, and simply looks over my face, and then helps me out of the car.
We all take our seats while the preacher calls everything to order.
Rain takes the podium…
“Thank you all for coming today to show respect to Dalton as we all say… our final goodbyes. Dalton was the best fucking man I knew. He took care of me after our parents passing, and he promised me that he would always be there for me. But he was taken away from me… from all of us way too fucking soon. I will forever miss my brother, but I hope you all take this as a lesson in life… you are not fucking promised another day, so live today like it’s your last. Love who want to love… do what you want to do… just fucking live happy,” Rain states to us all.
I am crying with tears of sadness and happiness because that’s exactly something Dalton would have said to one of us.
Parker is next… she has been so disconnected from her emotions over Dalton’s loss. The only person she really talks to nowadays is Rogen. I’m glad that my brother has been a supportive friend to her. I would worry if she just bottled everything up.
“Dalton…” she sobs and continues, “was the love of my life. He had been since we were sixteen. I knew the day I saw him for the first time I was going to be with that man forever. But, sadly… he was taken away from me too soon. He promised me that he would never leave me… I don’t blame him, but I do blame the person who stole him from me. Dalton, you kept your promise, love. I hope you find peace… I love you until my dying breath,” she says as exiting the graveyard site.
The rest of the funeral goes by in a sad blur. It’s filled with goodbyes and memories that will last a lifetime.
That night as I lay in Cannon’s arms, I count my blessings, but I’m still nagged with the feelings of worry for Parker and Rain. Both of my sweet friends lost a major person in their lives, and by that, they will never truly be the same. But they did make me realize that I’m lucky to have my love with me still.
“I can hear you thinking, love. What’s the matter?” he asked.
“I was just thinking that nothing will ever be the same for any of us, and that I am so in love with you,” I say stroking his face.
“I agree, nothing will ever be the same. But, we must learn how to live a new way… a way without Dalton. That man helped me through some of the most harrowing times in my life. He was there for me when I lost Annabeth and he was there for me when I thought I had lost you forever over that fucking slut. He made me realize that loving you would be the best thing I could ever do with my life. Love, you own me… body, soul, and heart forever.”
He makes love to me like he is professing everything that he feels for me and more.
“I love you,” I say.
The past couple of weeks have been a learning curve for us all. Learning how to go back to regular everyday life is harder most of the time. I had become accustomed to spending my days surrounded by my friends who had quickly become my family, and my nights filled with my love.
But it was somewhat good to go back to my job, where I found comfort for so long.
Sierra caught me up with everything I missed in my weeks off… which is a lot.
“You have three meetings today, and one meeting Friday night,” she states.
I am very confused. I don’t normally take meetings on Friday nights.
“Sierra, I shouldn’t have been scheduled for a Friday night meeting. What were you thinking of making that decision?” I ask.
“I’m so sorry, Ms. Danford. But, you can’t miss this meeting. The man you are meeting with said it was urgently important,” she says upsettingly.
“Okay, its fine,” I say.
She walks to the door and then turns and says, “Also, your mother called you twice. I wouldn’t give her your new number, so she has called and left messages. My notes are on your desk.”
“Thank you so much for that, Sierra,” I say gratefully.
I look over the messages and contemplate on calling her back. I decided to put off with dealing with her until after my meetings.
All of my meetings go surprisingly well for being my first day back and getting in the swing of things. Cannon and Rogen stop by to have lunch with me.
“Hun, I have a meeting Friday night with a po
tential book supplier. I hope that’s okay?” I ask really wanting to make sure it will be okay with him.
“Of course, love. It’s your job, and I will be at the bar that night doing inventory anyway. We will have a late supper when you get out,” he replies kissing my lips.
“For fuck sakes… get a damn room,” Rogen says pushing us apart, making us both laugh.
“Rogen, have you talked to our mother or father lately? They have been trying to reach me, but since that ordeal with mom… I’ve been ignoring their phone calls,” I admit.
He looks sheepishly at me. “I hadn’t really had the chance to talk to them.”
I want to ask why he hasn’t reached out to them over the past few weeks. But if I do that… he will want an answer in return on why I haven’t been in contact with them. I don’t want to discuss it in front of Cannon, so I let it go.
“Babe, I have to get back to the bar. I will see you tonight,” he says.
He comes and cradles my face in his hands and kisses me. It is one of those brief, but all-consuming kisses that leave a person breathless.
“I fucking love you, Collins,” he declares.
Caressing his face, I reply, “I love you, too.”
“Y’all seriously make me fucking sick… but I am glad my baby sister is happy,” my brother says.
They leave, and I sit there contemplating on calling my mother for the first time in weeks. I decide that I should because she is my mother after all. We only get one momma in life, and that’s it.
She answers within three rings, “Hello, is that you Collins?”
“Hi, momma,” I answer back.
“Why haven’t you answered the damn phone? You know how worried me and your daddy have been? Your brother wasn’t answering either. We thought we raised y’all better than this, you ungrateful brats,” she says.
Is she seriously going there with me? She is the one who is an insensitive bitch to me, not the other way around.