Unbreakable Love

by Yesenia Vargas

  What are you up to, Cinderella?

  Ariana looked over her shoulder. She was alone. She began typing, a smile on her face.

  At my house with nothing to do. She felt a little daring and typed something else before she chickened out. Wish you were here.

  She put her dirty dishes in the sink and went to her room.

  She had a message from Carlos waiting. I miss you too.

  How was she supposed to reply to that? They had pretty much just admitted that they liked each other.

  He sent something else. Remember the night we met?

  She began typing. Yeah :)

  Her phone beeped from his reply. Best night ever.

  She tried not to jump into the air. There was simply no denying it anymore. Carlos liked her. She sent back a smiley face, and then he replied.

  So what are you doing?

  She tapped at her keyboard. Gonna watch Law & Order and do HW. AT THE SAME TIME.

  She smiled when she saw his response.

  Whoa! Don’t get too crazy.

  She laughed out loud. What are you up to?

  Besides thinking of you? Home alone, watching an action movie.

  Are your parents usually home when you get home? Or do they get back late? She took out her homework and turned on the television while she waited for him to text back.

  Yeah, pretty much. I think my mom went grocery shopping.

  Oh. Ariana didn’t know how else to respond.

  While she was thinking of something else to say, he replied. Well, I probably should go and let you focus on your homework. ;)

  Ariana was disappointed, but he was probably right. Yeah, okay. See you tomorrow, hopefully. :) She signed out and opened her book.

  Thirty minutes later, she was done with homework, and the episode of Law & Order was over. She lay on her bed. She turned on some music on her iPod. Her parents had given it to her for her fifteenth birthday, almost two years ago now, as a kind of growing up present. She realized now how much of a contradiction that had been.

  Her parents were so last century. Just because their parents had been really strict when they were growing up in Mexico didn’t mean they had to be like that right now. They were in a place with different rules. It was a completely different culture here in America. Teens were allowed to date as young as middle school and go out with their friends to the mall. Dye their hair and wear makeup. Go to the movies. Even have their own cars. But she wasn’t allowed to do any of that. Instead, her parents said she could have a boyfriend at eighteen or when she moved out of the house.

  She’d be lucky if she still got a car for her seventeenth birthday like her parents had practically promised her months ago. They knew it was all she wanted.

  But she really had to think about things. She really liked Carlos. And he liked her. She still couldn’t believe a boy liked her. No, not a boy. She had noticed Carlos’ body. He was no boy. She wondered what it must be like to touch his chest, his arms.

  Other guys had had crushes on her in the past. Kids’ stuff. Flirting, a brush of the hand. Nothing serious had ever happened. Now, suddenly, a guy really wanted to go out with her. Had asked her for her number. Had practically outright professed his love for her. Okay, that last one was an exaggeration.

  The point was that she had to think about what she was going to do. As far as she could see, she only had two choices. First, she could lie to her parents and see Carlos behind their backs, which would be difficult.

  Second, she could confront the situation and simply ask her parents if she could have a boyfriend now instead of waiting another year. She could try to be reasonable with them, act like a grown up, and kindly but logically ask for more freedom. She was almost a woman. She had the chest and hips to prove it. This option would be ten times more difficult, considering the strict attitudes of her parents. But Ariana was convinced that if she asked just right, her parents might just let her do as she wanted.

  And trust her for once.

  She sighed and stared at the ceiling.

  She decided she would talk to them about it if Carlos officially asked her out. And then she began wondering if he would ever actually ask her, and she began doubting herself—and Carlos’ feelings for her—again.

  ***

  A few minutes later, Ariana heard her mom making dinner in the kitchen. She decided to get up and go talk to her.

  She walked into the kitchen.

  “Ariana, dice these tomatoes for me, please,” her mom said as she seasoned some meat.

  She grabbed the cutting board and the good knife from the dishwasher and got set up on the counter next to her mom.

  “Hey, Mom?” she asked.

  “Hm?”

  “How old were you when you had your first boyfriend? What did my abuelitos say?” She focused on cutting the tomato up.

  “Well, they didn’t know, actually,” her mom laughed. “I must have been only twelve or so. Way too young.” She looked at Ariana. “Why?”

  “Just wondering what you were like when you were my age,” Ariana said.

  “Hm.” Her mother poured the meat into the waiting pot with hot vegetable oil. “Well, my parents found out, and I got into huge trouble. Shortly after, I had to drop out of school so I could help with the expenses. I guess they just thought I wasn’t focusing on school anymore.”

  “Was that true?”

  “Kind of. I liked school. I still wish I had studied more. But I guess I didn’t make it a priority.”

  “Well, do you think that now it’s okay to have a boyfriend? Not at twelve but like in high school?”

  “No,” her mom said. “It just takes your focus away from important things, like school and college. And you can have so many regrets. At this age, it’s just very hard to find the right person, and you’re just not meant to be in a serious relationship, not until you’re older, maybe eighteen, and ready to start thinking about settling down.”

  Ariana thought about that and kept dicing the tomatoes, trying to hide the disappointment she felt inside.

  ***

  The next evening, Ariana was in the living room, reading a magazine. Jimmy was playing a game on her iPod. Her parents were sitting on the other couch, watching their soaps.

  At ten o’clock, the show ended in yet again another cliché way—with the female protagonist staring longingly at the male protagonist, who was successfully seducing her. These shows always ended the same way. But her parents loved them. Her parents headed in different directions. Ariana's mother went to her room to make a phone call to her sister, the one who had been sick, to check up on her. Her father went outside for a smoke.

  Her cell phone buzzed with a text message. It was Carlos.

  “Watcha doing?” Jimmy asked.

  “Nothing. Just texting,” she answered.

  “You still talking to that guy?” he asked.

  She hesitated. “Yeah. He’s nice,” she said, trying to sound as if she could care less.

  “You like him or something?” he asked.

  She looked up at him.

  “You do,” he said.

  She scoffed. “Well, it doesn’t matter because you know Mom and Dad won’t let me go out with anyone. They barely let me out of the house,” she said.

  She resumed tapping out a reply to Carlos.

  “Well, for some girls, that doesn’t really stop them,” he said.

  “Jimmy, Mom and Dad haven’t really talked to you about not having girlfriends. In fact, they used to tease you when you were little about that little girl from daycare being your girlfriend. If you were to ask them right now if you were allowed, I doubt they would say no. I bet they wouldn’t even expect you to ask permission. Because you’re a guy, they think you have the right. Even though you’re a year and a half younger than me. Now tell me, is that fair?” She was looking at him.

  “I know it’s not,” he said. “And I don’t have anything against you going out with someone. Just make sure you’re going out with the right kin
d of person.” And with that, he stood up, went back to his room, and shut the door.

  But Ariana couldn’t reflect on what he had said. At that moment Carlos had sent her another text.

  Can I walk you to class tomorrow?

  She wished she could see Carlos for more than two minutes in between classes, but for now, this was all they had.

  Of course. Can’t wait.

  She heard her dad opening the door to come back inside. His smoke was over. She decided she needed to head to her room herself and get ready for school tomorrow.

  She couldn’t wait.

  ***

  Mayra and Ariana had just finished paying for their lunch the next day when Mayra made a strange choking sound.

  “Oh man,” Mayra said. “I just remembered that I have to go get something from my locker I need to finish before next period.” She dropped her tray on the table and speed walked out of the cafeteria.

  “So what’s new with you?” asked Kathy as Ariana set her tray down at their usual lunch table. The other girls were almost finished eating already, since they’d gotten there earlier and hadn’t had to wait in line.

  “Nothing much. You?” She began opening a packet of saltines that she had swiped from the condiment bar. Apparently this would be the tastiest part of her lunch. It was nacho day. And everyone knew those nachos didn’t have real cheese.

  “I hear you and Carlos are goin’ out. What’s that about?” Julia asked. She had a bit of a smirk on her face as she stuffed her mouth with last of her salad.

  “We’re not going out. Where’d you hear that?” Great. The rumors had already started.

  “Around,” said Julia. “So it’s not true?” She held her fork in midair, staring at Ariana.

  “We’re friends.” Ariana wondered why Mayra wasn’t back yet.

  “For now,” said Kathy, smiling and lifting an eyebrow.

  She shrugged. “I’m not supposed to have a boyfriend, so I think we’ll just stay friends.”

  “You think?” The smirk was back on Julia’s face.

  “You like him, huh?” Kathy asked.

  “Well, yeah.” She looked down at the nachos on her plate. Her face felt warm. She picked one up, popped it in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “But I mean, I know it’s not going to go anywhere. My parents would kill me if they found out I had a boyfriend behind their backs.”

  “Key words: found out.” Julia said. “My parents said I couldn’t have a boyfriend until I was eighteen.”

  “Wait. Don’t you go out with Danny?” she asked. She ate some more nachos to give herself something to do.

  “Yeah. Do you really think I’m going to wait until I’m out of high school to have a boyfriend? Yeah, right. What they don’t know doesn’t hurt them. I just say I’m going out with Kathy. We cover for each other.”

  Kathy nodded. ”I do the same thing. I hate lying to my parents.” Kathy rolled her eyes and kept eating her salad. “But Derek and I love each other. It’s nothing bad. It’s normal. It’s not fair that other girls get to have a boyfriend. I don’t think it’s a big deal.”

  Ariana nodded. “I just don’t know if I could ever do that, much less get away with it. My parents don’t let me go out at all. Even with Mayra.” She pursed her lips, thinking.

  “Figure that out later. Just say you’re going out with your little brother or to Mayra’s house or something. Don’t mess up your chance with Carlos because your parents still think they’re living in the Mexican Stone Age.” Julia smiled. “It’s really not as bad or as hard as you think.”

  Kathy nodded.

  “You’re right. I’ll think about it.” The bell rang for second lunch, and Kathy and Julia got up to go dump their trays and head back to class.

  “See ya,” said Kathy as she got up.

  “Bye. Thanks.” She smiled. She sat there thinking for a few minutes, first about Julia. Last time, she had gotten a hint of jealousy from her, but she had obviously moved on to someone else.

  Could she really pull this off? She still wondered why Carlos hadn’t officially asked her to be his girlfriend. He had to be asking soon. A guy wouldn’t dance with a girl all night, text her, and ask to walk her to class just to be friends, right?

  A nice guy would, she thought.

  She sighed. Thanks to her insane lack of experience, she had no idea what to think. One thing she did know, though. She might just be willing to go out with Carlos, even if it was something her parents didn’t like or allow. She was sixteen, almost seventeen. If she was allowed to drive, then surely she was mature enough to date.

  She smiled at the thought of being a real grown-up, doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.

  “Boo!”

  Ariana jumped. “Mayra.”

  “Deep in thought there, huh? What you thinkin’ about?” She sat down next to her, pushing her tray away to make room for her binder, which had several loose papers sticking out.

  “Oh, just getting my driver’s license and then riding off into the sunset with you in the passenger seat, turning the corner, making you get out, and making Carlos get in.” She braced for the playful punch on the shoulder she got from Mayra.

  “Hey, that was sounding good for a minute there. Gosh, at least have the decency to drop me off at the mall!”

  They both laughed.

  “So really. What were you thinking about?” Mayra opened her carton of chocolate milk and took a sip.

  “Having a boyfriend.”

  “Eh, it’s overrated sometimes.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that.”

  Mayra shook her head. “I think it’ll get much better as we get older, but it’s nice to experience it, I guess.”

  “That’s easy to say once you’ve had one. You’ve had like four boyfriends. I’ve never had a single boyfriend. I want to have a boyfriend. Is that so bad?”

  “No.” Mayra turned to her. “Just be careful, okay?”

  “I know, I know.” She thought for a second. “What’s wrong?”

  “That guy I’ve been seeing? Tony? The college guy? Had a girlfriend.” She shrugged and Ariana looked down. “Having a boyfriend? It’s crazy. It feels great. But your first breakup? And every breakup after that? Definitely not fun. Not great.” She opened her bottle of juice and took a sip. “Don’t give too much of yourself away, especially with these first relationships. Because you never get those parts back.”

  Ariana put an arm around her friend and massaged her shoulder.

  Mayra gave her a small smile. “It’s really not a big deal. We never did anything besides kiss, and truth be told, he wasn’t even that cute.”

  Ariana still remembered when a football player named Henry had broken Mayra’s heart two years ago. He had been Mayra’s first boyfriend, and she had given him her virginity. Just a few months later, they had broken up—and Henry had gone out with another girl a couple of weeks later. It had torn Mayra apart. It had taken her over a year to recover, but she knew it still hurt Mayra deep down.

  Mayra put down her sandwich. “Don’t rush it.”

  “Okay,” Ariana said quietly.

  chapter five

  “Hey, you guys know what’s coming up, right?” Ariana said to her family before she popped a spoonful of rice into her mouth at dinner that night.

  “Thanksgiving break,” Jimmy said.

  “Um, try my birthday¸” Ariana said after she swallowed her food.

  “Diez y siete añotes,” her father said. Ariana nodded. Seventeen years.

  “Have you thought about what you’d like for dinner that day?” her mother asked.

  “Enchiladas,” she said, without a second’s hesitation. They kept eating, and Ariana made another attempt at what she really wanted to ask. “So, Dad, do you think I’m gonna get a car?”

  She tried not to sound too eager, but she couldn’t help it.

  He looked at her mom. “We’re still not sure. I guess we’ll see how things go.”

  What the heck was that
supposed to mean? Count on her parents to be vague.

  “You know I’ll be responsible. I’ll have my license by then. I’ve been practicing every week.”

  “We’ll see. This isn’t a race, Ariana. You’ll see when you have your license, you’ll get tired of driving around.”

  She wrinkled her eyebrows and envisioned herself grabbing a coffee and biscuit on the way to school or going to dinner and a movie with her friends on Friday night. “Nope, don’t think so.”

  Her mom shook her head.

  “Remember, I like dark colors, but as long as it runs and isn’t rusty, I’ll take it.” She gave her best smile.

  “Yeah, I can’t wait. You’ll get to drive me around until I get my permit next year,” Jimmy said.

  “You two don’t get ahead of yourselves,” their mom reminded them.

  ***

  It had been a few days since Carlos had walked Ariana to class. They’d texted, but they hadn’t seen each other much at school besides passing each other in the hallway here and there.

  One time she had even seen him laughing with another girl in the parking lot. Seeing him smile back at that girl with that gaze of his had made her face turn hot. She realized now that she had been jealous, even though it was obvious they were still just friends.

  She had to make up her mind soon. If he asked her to be his girlfriend, would she be willing to keep it from her parents? How would that even work? Would she wait until they gave her permission to have a boyfriend? They had said eighteen. What if they weren’t willing to budge on that? Would she even have the courage to confront them?

  She was about to get to the bus when she had an idea. She saw Mayra looking out the window, gesturing for her to get on.

  “I saved you a seat!”

  Ariana made a motion for her friend to follow her. Mayra looked puzzled. Ariana repeated the gesture, this time more urgently. Mayra grabbed her stuff, got off the bus, and came up to her.

  “What’s wrong? The bus is about to leave.” She looked toward the bus as the driver turned on the engine. The bus was full, as were the other buses lined up and ready to go.