“What?” she cried. “That’s no fair!”
“I was the one who was very nearly traumatized here,” he said, doing his best to keep a straight face. “I think I deserve a reward.”
Vivienne studied him for a moment. “Okay,” she said with a sigh, pulling out of the parking space. “If that’s what you want to claim as your reward, I guess we’re good.”
“Wait. What?”
She shrugged. “I mean, I had a whole other option prepared for after dinner to reward you for doing this, but if you’re happy with a couple of extra dumplings, who am I to complain?”
“No, no, no, you can’t just throw something like that out there. I didn’t even know there was a possibility of another reward. I can’t be held to a decision I made without knowing all the facts,” he reasoned. “So, um, what did you have in mind?”
With a dramatic sigh, Vivienne shook her head. “No, no, no,” she mimicked. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You seemed perfectly happy with your bounty of dumplings.” Reaching over, she patted him on the knee. “They’re all yours.”
“But…but I don’t want them now.” He pouted. “I want to know what your reward was going to be. I bet it was going to be something sexy.” He looked over at her. “It was going to be sexy, right?”
She shrugged again. “Doesn’t matter,” she said lightly.
Slouching down into the passenger seat, he stewed. Me and my big mouth, he thought. Always thinking of the food, and now I’m missing out on something potentially sexy. Thoughts of Vivienne sprawled out on the living room floor earlier flooded his mind. He felt himself getting hard. Then, images of her on the bed with the chocolate sauce flashed too. He had to shift slightly to accommodate the hard-on he was now sporting.
The remainder of the drive was spent in silence, and Matt forced himself to push the erotic pictures from his mind as he thought about baseball stats and sandwiches and, finally, Star Wars.
“Let’s just go inside and enjoy our dinner.”
Matt looked up and saw they were pulling into the driveway.
He watched Vivienne climb from the car and made sure he was a little more in control before he followed. It didn’t take too long, and before he knew it, they were unpacking the food at her dining room table.
“Or would you rather eat in the living room?” she asked. “We could find something to watch—a movie or something if you’d prefer.”
Matt studied her for a moment and then shook his head. “No. I don’t want to watch TV, I’d rather sit here and talk to you,” he said sincerely.
She looked at him oddly. “Really? We talk all the time. All day. Every day. I would have thought you’d be tired of the sound of my voice by now.” She chuckled, but Matt could tell it was out of nerves, like she wasn’t sure of herself, and it just drew him to her more.
Stepping in close, he wrapped his arms around her waist. “I love the sound of your voice,” he murmured against her cheek. “And I love our conversations. I’ve never met anyone like you before. I love getting your opinion on things, and more than anything, I love how we never really run out of things to talk about.”
She seemed to melt against him, and he smiled, pulling her in close. “I love all that too,” she said softly.
It would have been so easy to say that he loved her. It was right there on the tip of his tongue. But would she even believe him? Hell, he could hardly believe it himself. They barely knew each other, and yet Matt felt like he knew her better than anyone he’d ever met in his life. And, if he wanted to get technical, they had known one another for years.
“C’mon,” she said, pulling back slightly. “Let’s eat before this gets cold.”
He allowed the distraction, and when they sat down and began opening containers and doling out food, he looked over at her and said, “So where should we go tomorrow?”
* * *
The clock on the bedside table said three a.m.
Vivienne sighed quietly and willed her brain to shut up and let her sleep.
But it wouldn’t.
Earlier, Matt had gotten restless in his sleep again. She was beginning to notice a pattern. He never talked about it, but if she had to guess, it was a recurring dream that plagued him. It broke her heart to know that something was troubling him so deeply, and it bothered her more than it should have that he wouldn’t talk to her about it. She would do whatever she could to take that pain away from him.
Beside her, Matt sighed and snuggled closer. He was wrapped around her, her back against his chest, their legs tangled together. She loved it.
Love.
They had used that word a lot tonight, and lately it seemed like it was happening more and more. There had definitely been…a vibe earlier. Matt’s voice was so intense and serious when they had gotten home with their dinner. As he’d held her close and told her all the things he loved about her, her heart had stopped as she waited for him to say that he loved her.
But he hadn’t.
And she still wasn’t sure if she was disappointed by that or not.
Did she love Matt? Yes. Did it freak her out? Yes. Not so much the loving him part, but loving someone who was clearly going to leave.
It seemed to be a familiar pattern in her life.
Vivienne didn’t tend to dwell on it, but if she allowed herself to look at all of her relationships, she saw it. She chose partners—lovers—who were pretty much unattainable. Thinking about it now, it was almost comical. Clearly her parents had done such a number on her that she couldn’t have a normal, healthy relationship with men.
And it sucked that she was just coming to that realization now when she wanted one.
But Matt wasn’t going to be that guy—no matter how badly she wanted him to be. Everything about him screamed temporary. He didn’t own a home; he was always on the road moving from place to place; he didn’t seem to put down roots.
Although…their conversation from several days ago came to mind.
I haven’t thought about having a home in a while… Then I look at what Aaron’s done here and what you did with the guesthouse, and I want that.
Okay, maybe he was thinking about it now, but it didn’t necessarily mean it was going to happen or that he wanted it to happen with her. And she really, really, really wanted him to want it with her.
Dammit.
She could feel the sting of tears and willed them away. The last thing in the world she wanted was for Matt to wake up and find her crying. How would she possibly explain her tears to him?
Although she had a feeling it wouldn’t take long for her to pour out her heart to him. Seriously, the man had a way of getting her to talk about things she normally wouldn’t. Not that Vivienne had any deep, dark secrets, but when she and Matt were together—which was all the time—they really never did run out of things to say. Sometimes, long after a conversation was over, she’d stand back and wonder how it was that they had gotten on to some of the topics they had.
She had shared her feelings about her parents and how unfair it was that they put in more of an effort with Aaron—it was something she almost never talked about. Except with Aaron. Then the other morning, while they were eating breakfast, she had gone and told him about how she preferred working alone and from home because she was insecure about fitting in in an office environment.
Where the hell had that even come from? It was something she had only voiced in her head. And yet, she was getting so comfortable with him that she could simply say whatever she was feeling, whatever was on her mind. And the best—or weirdest—part? He never told her she was wrong for the things she felt. He never told her she was looking at things the wrong way. If anything, he encouraged her to talk even more about things until she felt better.
Damn him. Why did he have to go and be so perfect?
Okay, if she took the rose-colored glasses off for a
minute, Vivienne could admit that Matt Reed was far from perfect. For all the sharing she had done, she now knew—thanks to her brother—that there was plenty Matt was keeping to himself. If he had even once shared with her his anger toward his father and why, or his real reasons for not wanting to go around town, she would have felt like they were on the same page.
Clearly they weren’t.
They were having fun. She was helping him through a rough time in his life, and when he left—and she knew for a fact he would—she would remind herself to feel good about playing an instrumental part in helping him find himself again.
Right, she inwardly mocked herself. Like that was going to happen. The sad truth was, when Matt decided to leave and return to LA or New York or wherever it was he got the urge to go to, she would paste a smile on her face, wish him well, and then hole up in her house in the fetal position and cry for weeks.
Maybe months.
It had taken a long time to get over one silly kiss. How the hell was she supposed to get over falling in love?
* * *
“So, you’re sure about this?”
“Absolutely.”
“There isn’t…I don’t know…maybe something else you’d rather do?”
“Nope. Not a one.”
Vivienne frowned, and Matt thought she looked adorable. She let out a little sigh as she put the car in park but continued to stare ahead.
“Viv, what’s the problem? I thought you’d be happy about this. We’re out of the house and I’m not dressed in some crazy disguise. I thought it would make you happy.” He paused and continued to stare at her, but when she remained silent, he started to get nervous. “Viv?”
“Okay, fine,” she huffed, and turned toward him. “Yes, I’m happy we’re out of the house. And yes, I’m happy you’re not dressed like a weirdo, but—” She stopped and shrugged. “I just wasn’t expecting this to be what you had in mind.”
Matt looked at the scenery before them. The beach. The sun was shining, it was a little bit cool out, a little bit breezy, but a picnic on the beach seemed like a great idea when he’d come up with it that morning. “It’s beautiful here. Me and Aaron and Riley used to surf here when we were in high school.” He chuckled. “None of us were particularly good at it, but man did we have fun.”
That coaxed a small smile out of her.
“We’d come out here and strut around like we owned the place,” he said, smiling at the memory. “Carrying our boards, flexing our muscles—thinking back, I realize what morons we must have looked like because we were all fairly scrawny at the time. Then we’d go into the water, and about ninety-nine percent of the time, we’d wipe out.” He laughed out loud. “But the girls were always watching.”
“I’ll bet,” she said with a small laugh of her own.
“Hey, it was every sixteen-year-old boy’s dream—girls in bikinis watching us and wanting to be with us.”
“When was the last time you surfed?”
Matt thought about it for a minute. “Probably about five years. Riley and I used to go whenever we could while touring. Just the two of us. We would laugh our asses off because we hadn’t gotten much better, but it was always a great time.”
“How did two of the biggest rock stars in the world go surfing without an audience?”
He gave her a sheepish grin. “I never said there wasn’t an audience.”
“Ah.”
“But most of the time we were at a private resort or had security watching the area,” he admitted. “I kind of wish it were warmer out now. I totally would have gone out and tried to show off for you.” He winked and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.
“And I would have no doubt been thoroughly impressed.” She grinned and motioned to the basket of food in the backseat. “Come on. Let’s go find a good spot to set up.”
Together they climbed from the car. Matt grabbed the food, and then they kicked off their shoes and walked out onto the sand hand in hand.
“I’d like to sit closer to the water, but I think we should hang back a bit while we eat because of the breeze.” Vivienne looked around and motioned to some large rocks near the dunes. “Maybe over there? It could block the wind a little, so we don’t get a lot of sand in our food.”
“It’s part of the total beach experience,” he teased. “But I agree. Let’s set up there and then we can walk along the shore when we’re done.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Once they were situated, they pulled their sandwiches out. Vivienne had put together some chicken salad on baguettes with fresh fruit on the side. After one bite, Matt couldn’t help but moan with pleasure.
“You okay?” she asked.
He swallowed before answering her. “How the hell do you do it?”
She looked at him quizzically. “Do what?”
“Every damn thing you make is amazing. How is that even possible?”
As usual, his compliment made her blush. “You’re crazy.”
“No. I’m not,” he countered. “I have been eating your cooking for weeks, and I have yet to have a bad meal. I have restaurants I go to, favorites, that haven’t had this long a winning streak. Sometimes the chef has an off night or sometimes you try something new and it’s just not good. That’s not the case with you. Everything you make is freaking fabulous.”
“Matt—”
“Just take the compliment and say thank you. Okay?”
Her blush deepened. “Fine. Thank you.”
They ate in companionable silence, simply enjoying the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. Matt looked around, and since it was still off-season and a weekday, there weren’t many people on the beach. It was one of the reasons he chose this particular place to venture out to. There were some couples walking around or sitting on blankets, doing just as he and Vivienne were. There were some families with small children playing. And there were a couple of people jogging with their dogs.
“I always wanted one,” he said quietly.
Vivienne looked at him and then noticed where he was staring. “A dog?”
He nodded.
“I guess with your touring schedule it would be pretty impossible.”
He nodded again.
She looked at him. “You’re not touring now, and from what I can tell, you don’t have any plans to in the near future. So why don’t you look into getting one?”
Turning his head, it was his turn to look at her quizzically. “Um…because at some point I hope to be back on the road. Then what do I do? I think it’s incredibly selfish to adopt a pet and then leave him in the care of others while I’m on the road. I know other people take their pets with them, but I think that’s a little hard on the animal. They deserve some stability too.”
Her shoulders slouched and she sighed. “Oh. Right. I hadn’t thought of it like that.”
Matt reached over and took one of her hands in his and kissed it. “It’s just one of the downsides of the life, I guess.” He watched as two small children ran over to the Labrador that was jogging alongside its owner. They were laughing and trying to pet him, and the dog seemed to love the attention. His heart kicked in his chest at the sight.
Damn.
What the hell was going on with him?
While Matt knew his time off was going to be a time of reflection, he had no idea it was going to turn into a time of totally reevaluating his entire life. But that’s exactly what was happening. What was supposed to be a time to think about the future—his career—was suddenly about something much more personal.
Could he possibly settle down, have a wife and kids? He looked over at Vivienne, who was smiling at the kids playing with the dog and thought, Yes. Riley had gotten married, and even though he was touring, Matt had a feeling it would only be a matter of time before they started talking about having kids. He didn’t know it for a f
act, but Riley came from a big family, and it just seemed like a natural conclusion.
Vivienne laughed beside him, and the sound washed over him like silk.
And it was becoming clearer by the minute that it was a natural conclusion for him as well.
“I cannot believe how sweet that dog is being,” Vivienne said, interrupting his thoughts. “I’d always heard Labradors were great with kids, but that whole scene just proved it.” She smiled at Matt and then noticed the serious expression on his face. “What? What’s the matter?”
He shook his head, unsure if he’d be able to speak. Between the kids, the dog, and…her, emotion clogged his throat.
“Matt?” She reached over and placed a hand on his arm.
Shaking off the heavy pall of emotion, he smiled as he grabbed her hand and kissed it, loving how it always made Vivienne sigh. “That was cool to watch. I wonder if he’s that friendly with everyone or just kids.”
Looking over as the dog and owner jogged away, she said, “I bet he’s good with everyone. The parents were pretty close by and the dog seemed completely at ease.” She turned and looked back at Matt. “You sure you’re okay? Did…did that upset you? Are you thinking about how you can’t have a dog now?”
He shrugged. “No,” he said firmly. “I’m thinking—anything is possible.”
She looked at him oddly as he rose and began cleaning up their trash. It only took a few seconds for her to join him, but by the time she rose, Matt was already walking over to the nearest trash can and dumping everything. When he walked back to her, she looked at him skeptically.
“What?”
“Care to expand on that last statement?” she asked with a shy grin.
He shrugged again and then bent to pick up their blanket. Together, they folded it up and Vivienne placed it in the basket along with their shoes. When she went to pick it up, he beat her to it. “I’ll carry it. Let’s walk.”
Hand in hand, they strolled closer to the shore. The sand was cold, and they did their best not to get too close to the rolling tide.
“I normally love walking in the water, but it’s a little too chilly for me today,” Vivienne commented.
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