“I know what you mean. It still feels good though.”
She nodded.
They walked in silence for several minutes before Matt spoke again. “I want to get a dog.”
“Okay.”
Turning his head, he looked down at her and couldn’t help but grin. She was easily six inches shorter than he was, and right now, he found their height difference to be a little bit comical. He felt as if he was towering over her. He chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Us.”
Vivienne looked up at him and couldn’t help but laugh. “Really? Why?”
“I guess I never really noticed our height difference and it just hit me, and I feel freakishly tall for some reason.”
“It’s the slope of the sand,” she said, still laughing. “It’s not like I shrunk or something.”
“Okay, that would be funny.”
“Back to the dog,” she prompted.
Right. “As we were sitting there, I started thinking about what I had thought this break was supposed to do for me—I mean, other than keeping me out of the public eye for a little while.”
Beside him, Matt noticed how Vivienne seemed to stiffen a little, but in the blink of an eye, she was back to normal. “And?”
“And…I thought it was going to be a time for me to maybe work on music and think about future projects that I could work on.”
“And it’s not?” she asked curiously.
“Other than learning to play the piano, there really hasn’t been anything inspiring. I enjoy playing with Riley and Dylan and Julian.” He paused and simply enjoyed the sound of the ocean. “Anytime I do think about music, they are the ones I want to collaborate with. Maybe I’m being closed-minded or something…”
“I don’t think you’re being closed-minded at all,” she said firmly.
“Really? Because a lot of musicians—”
“Why do you have to be like other musicians? Why can’t you just be like you?” He stopped dead in his tracks. Vivienne hadn’t noticed, and it wasn’t until she was tugging at his arm and almost losing her balance that she turned and looked at him.
She had a point.
A beautiful, brilliant point.
And it was as if the lightbulb got brighter and he had the confirmation he’d been looking for. “So if I opted to take an extended break until Shaughnessy got back together…”
“I’d say that’s your prerogative.”
He nodded. “I don’t want people thinking I’m some sort of pussy who’s hiding out or afraid to try something again.”
“Are you afraid?”
“No.” His tone conveyed his conviction. “I think I’m finally starting to realize my strengths—and my weaknesses. I’ve been playing with the same guys for all these years for a reason. We’re good together. And the hectic schedules, the constant touring, it was all a great distraction from having to think about pretty much anything else. I never thought about what I wanted to do with my life because I was so damn busy with the band.”
“And now?”
Matt tugged her close until she was standing in front of him and they were toe to toe. His arms slowly wrapped around her waist. “Now,” he began, his voice gruff, “I’m starting to see all the things I’ve been missing. For so freaking long, I thought I had it all. But I don’t.”
Vivienne looked up at him, those deep-chocolate-colored eyes going a little wide at his words. He saw her swallow hard as she waited for him to continue.
“I’m ready to start living my life, Viv.”
She nodded nervously.
“And that means a house.” Then he quickly corrected himself. “A home.”
“And a dog,” she added.
A slow smile spread across his face. “For starters.”
“So…um…” She cleared her throat. “Where do you see yourself doing these things?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say he wanted to do them right here, with her. Then he remembered why he had stayed away for so long, why he wasn’t quite so anxious to be here now. And rather than open that can of worms right now, he simply replied, “I haven’t decided yet.”
And he couldn’t help but notice the flash of disappointment on Vivienne’s face.
Dammit.
Before he could correct—or explain—himself, she gave him a smile that he knew was forced. “Well, I guess that will give you something to work on now, researching real estate and seeing where you’ll be a good fit. You’ve traveled so much over the last ten years, I’m sure you’re familiar with most of the country. You should probably draw on that experience and see where you can most easily picture yourself. And your dog.”
“Viv?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re rambling.”
“Oh…well…”
Just then, a large wave crashed on the shore, covering them both up to mid-calf. Vivienne let out a loud screech as she jumped to move out of the water. Matt laughed and chased after her, swinging her up in his arms once he caught her. She shivered.
“You okay?”
“Holy crap was that cold!”
Hugging her close, he turned and started walking back toward where they had come onto the beach.
“What are you doing? Are we done already?” she asked.
“It’s pretty windy out, and now both of us have wet pants, and I figured it was a good time to turn back.” He stopped. “Unless you’d rather stay?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m good. I have a feeling the sand that washed up my jeans is going to get annoying real fast.”
Matt picked up the pace.
In his arms, she began to laugh. “Why are you sprinting? Is the sand bothering you too?”
He shook his head. “Hell no. I’m just planning on helping you out of those jeans as soon as we get home, so I’m kind of anxious to get us there.”
She laughed out loud, her head falling back. “Yes!”
* * *
Two days later, Matt was sitting in Aaron’s home office at his desk, looking at real estate.
Local real estate.
There were some amazing options, and yet all he could think about was what an incredible job Vivienne had done on the guesthouse and how much he wanted her to have a blank canvas to do that again on a much larger scale.
He looked at houses that were move-in ready. That was his immediate search. And then he started relaxing a little bit and thinking outside the box, and that’s when he started looking at property. They could hire an architect to design a house that met every criterion they had, and then fill it with every wish-list item they had, and everyone would be happy.
And yet it still didn’t feel quite right.
Scrubbing a weary hand over his face, he just about jumped out of his skin when his phone rang. Looking down, he saw it was Riley.
“You know, I think we’ve spoken more in the last week than we have in the past year,” he teased. “What’s up?”
On the other end, Riley chuckled. “I know, right? And by the way, hello to you too.”
“Oh, yeah. Hello. How are you? How’s Savannah?”
“We are both fine, thanks. Listen, what are you doing tomorrow?”
Matt frowned for a moment as an unexpected wave of panic hit him. “Um…tomorrow? I…I’m not sure. Why?”
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Riley murmured. “First of all, relax.”
“I am relaxed.”
“No. What you are is starting to have a panic attack.”
It sucked when someone knew you so well that you couldn’t lie. “Okay, fine. I had a brief flash of anxiety. Sue me. So what’s up?”
“Savannah and I are coming to town this weekend to visit my family. My brother Aidan and his wife just had a baby about two months ago, and they’re havin
g the christening on Saturday. We’re flying in late tonight and we thought we could see you for lunch or something tomorrow.”
“Wow… Yeah. That sounds great!”
“See? Now you sound like your old self,” Riley commented. “I thought you were over the worry. I figured you’d be chomping at the bit to get out of exile.”
“Funny you should mention that. I’m looking at some real estate sites right now.”
“Seriously? Dude, that’s awesome! You gonna go back to LA?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’m not tied down to anything right now and…” He paused. “You know what? Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow over lunch? You and Savannah can come here, and we can just chill and relax.”
“You want us to pick up lunch and bring it?”
“Nah. I’ve got it covered.” Already Matt was thinking of some of the great recipes he and Vivienne had come up with in the past weeks and couldn’t wait to make again.
“That sounds great. Text me Aaron’s address and we’ll see you tomorrow around noon. Will that work?”
“Absolutely. And, Riley?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks, man. I’m looking forward to seeing you.”
“You too, Matt.”
Once he hung up the phone, Matt realized he probably should have run all of this by Vivienne first. After all, as much as he wanted to think he was getting more and more proficient in the kitchen, he knew that without Vivienne right there beside him, he wouldn’t be able to make a thing on his own.
And there was no way he was making frozen entrees for Riley and Savannah.
He stood and stretched, feeling a bit excited to hang out with his old friend and be able to catch up with one another face-to-face. It had been far too long and now that he was finally starting to feel like his old self and had a plan—sort of—for his future, he couldn’t wait to sit down and get Riley’s take on it all.
It was only three in the afternoon, and Vivienne had mentioned a conference call with some of her writers. Matt wondered if she was done or if he should wait before going over. The last thing he wanted to do was interrupt her, but he also knew she’d want a solid heads-up on the plans he’d made for them as soon as possible.
Deciding to take a chance, he walked outside and across the yard to her house and let himself in. The silence hit him first, and he wasn’t sure if it meant she was still on the phone or if she was done. Walking farther in, he made his way to her office and stopped in the doorway.
This was one of the looks he loved the most on her—hair up in a messy bun, reading glasses on, head tilted to the side.
“Hey, beautiful,” he said softly.
Vivienne looked up and smiled. “Hey, you.” She looked down at her computer screen and then slouched in her seat. “Oh, good. I thought I’d lost track of time again and you were here for dinner. Whew.”
He stepped into the room. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you. Did your call go okay?”
She nodded. “Everyone has their assignments, and we’ve even gotten a few in the bank besides mine. All in all, I am very pleased.”
“Does that mean you can maybe…take the day off tomorrow?”
A slow grin spread across her face as she considered him. “I think that can be arranged. Did you have something…special…in mind for us to do?”
The thoughts that raced through his mind were all X-rated, and he was suddenly sorry they wouldn’t be taking advantage of any of them. “Riley just called, and he and Savannah are coming to town for the weekend for a family thing. I invited them for lunch. And I was thinking—”
“That I could make the food?” she asked, her expression going from smiling to neutral, and Matt knew exactly what she was thinking.
“No, I thought we could make the food together.”
Her eyes widened for a minute and her lips formed a perfect O. “You mean like…together? As in you and me here, like—”
“A couple?” he finished for her and smiled as she quickly nodded. Matt walked across the room and knelt beside her chair. “Viv, I think it’s time we faced some truths here—we are a couple. I’m not playing around or killing time. I love the time we spend together, and even when Aaron gets home, that’s not going to change. I’m not going to hide it. I want you right here beside me tomorrow when Riley and Savannah come over—and not just because I don’t want to make them my sad sandwiches or frozen pizza. I want you to get to know them and for them to do the same with you.”
Her eyes were still a little wide, and she wasn’t saying anything, so Matt figured he’d better keep talking.
“I know things have been a little…unorthodox. I mean, we’ve known each other since we were kids and yet we’ve only been involved for a few weeks, but…I like this. I like where this is going. I want to keep seeing where it can go.”
When she remained silent, he started to panic. Maybe he’d spooked her. Or maybe she just didn’t feel the same way he did. Shit. He was so damn obsessed with the fact that he was growing and maturing and interested in settling down that he never really bothered to think about how Vivienne was feeling about their relationship.
How freaking awful would it be to have her try and let him down easy, just like he used to do to the women he’d been involved with?
Karma at its finest.
“Viv, listen…I—”
“I didn’t know you felt like that,” she said softly, her voice almost a whisper.
He swallowed hard and nodded. “I do.”
“This…” She paused and cleared her throat, speaking a little louder. “This whole thing took me by surprise, and I just figured it was going to be like…a fling. Short-term. I thought certainly when Aaron got back that you’d go back to hanging out with him and we’d just forget this…this side of our relationship and go back to the way it was before.”
For the life of him, he had no idea what to make of her comments. They weren’t confirming or denying anything.
“What do you think Aaron’s going to say when he comes home to this?” she asked.
Hell, he hadn’t given that any thought at all because, honestly, it didn’t matter. Aaron could be pissed, or he could be happy for them. It wasn’t going to change a damn thing. Vivienne was a grown woman, and even though Aaron was her big brother, Matt wasn’t afraid of him.
All of which he said to her.
She chuckled. “Yeah, I’m not afraid of him either, but I have a feeling he is not going to be happy. With either of us. And part of me isn’t sure which one of us he’s going to put the blame on.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I think the brother in him is going to accuse you of taking advantage of me because I’m so sweet and innocent.” She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Then he’ll probably laugh just like I did and accuse me of taking advantage of you while you were down in the dumps.”
“I can live with that,” Matt teased.
“Oh, you!” she said, swatting playfully at him.
He stood and then took a step back so she could get up from her chair. “I probably should have checked with you first before inviting Riley over.”
“It’s not a big deal. I’m looking forward to seeing him and to meeting Savannah.” She stepped around him and walked out of the office to the kitchen. Matt found her staring into the refrigerator. “What do you think we should make?”
“Something that will be done before they get here, so you don’t have to get up and cook,” he suggested. “Maybe one of your soups or the chili you made last weekend? We could do some salads and bread, maybe those tartlet things for dessert?”
Closing the refrigerator door, she turned toward Matt and clapped.
“What? What’s that for?”
“I’m just so proud!” she cried, grinning from ear to ear. “I feel like the student has become the teacher.”
He rolled his eyes and grabbed her hands to stop the clapping. “Okay, okay, knock it off.”
“What? I’m serious! Not only are you thinking of practical ideas for lunch so I can still get to visit with everyone, but you’ve also even thought of what will go with it and dessert.” She beamed at him. “You’ve been paying attention.”
“Well, of course I have,” he said with a hint of defensiveness. “You were taking the time to teach me and help me out. Why wouldn’t I pay attention?”
“Okay, okay, I was teasing, Matt,” she soothed.
“Oh. All right.”
Vivienne looked around the kitchen and then stepped away from him. “I like the idea of the chili if you think they’ll like it.”
“I know Riley will. I can’t speak for Savannah. I don’t know her very well.”
“Hmm…then I guess I’ll make sure we have plenty of side options, just in case it’s not something she eats. I’ll do corn bread and some of my homemade rolls, a salad…” Walking over to one of the drawers, she pulled out a pen and pad and started making a shopping list. “I’ll have chips and salsa and a black-bean-and-corn guacamole out when they arrive. And maybe I’ll whip up some chicken tortilla soup just in case. And—”
“Vivienne?” he interrupted, walking over and taking the pen from her hand. “It’s only lunch. And there’s only four of us. If you make all of those things and the chili and the dessert, no one will be able to move for a week.”
“Oh…maybe I am going a little overboard. I love cooking for guests, and it’s important to me that there’s something everyone will eat.” She nibbled her bottom lip. “I just wish we knew if Savannah eats chili and…” When Matt moved away and pulled his phone out, she quickly reached over to stop him. “Don’t you dare call Riley and ask him!”
“Why the hell not? It seems like it would save us both a lot of time and anxiety if we just knew the answer.”
“But—”
“Viv, relax. It’s not a big deal.” He quickly typed up a text and sent it to Riley before returning his attention to her. “So I guess we need to hit the grocery store.”
“Yes, we do.” She sighed.
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