A Time Traveler's Theory of Relativity

by Nicole Valentine

  “When does life feel normal again after people leave you, or after someone just goes and dies?”

  She paused before she answered. “It doesn’t. It doesn’t go back to the way it was, I mean. It’s just a new life. That starts to feel normal.”

  “How?” He honestly wanted to know. It had been three weeks since Mom had disappeared and nothing was returning to any semblance of livable. His family had lost Faith almost ten years ago and everyone was still wounded, including him. “I don’t know, just one day it happens.” A small smile began to form at the corners of her mouth, a memory. Finn wished that memory could play for him like a movie. “For my mom and me, it was just laughing at something stupid. Something totally not funny, but it made us laugh anyway. It was the first time I had felt okay in a long time.”

  Finn tried to imagine him and Dad laughing over anything. It didn’t seem like it would ever be a possibility again. But Mom—Mom would laugh with him.

  They both sat in silence against the tree for a moment. Gabi spoke first. “We should take turns getting some sleep.”

  “You go ahead. I’ll be fine. I’m not as tired as I sound.”

  “Are you sure? You haven’t slept much at all since your gran—”

  Finn stopped her before she would have to search for a better word than died. “I’m fine. I can handle it.” His voice was full of false confidence that she accepted for truth.

  Gabi balled up her hoodie and used it as a pillow. “Okay, but wake me if you need to switch.”

  Finn sat there, listening to the sounds of the woods. In the distance he could hear the muted hoot of an owl, and if he listened closely he could make out the scurrying of small creatures through leaves. It didn’t take longer than three or four minutes before Gabi’s breathing slowed, and Finn knew he was alone with the night.

  Chapter 15

  He must have fallen asleep for a little bit. It was more like a half-sleep, filled with questions disguising themselves as dreams. In one dream he felt he had the answer to everything in the universe. He could see inside people’s minds, or maybe it was hearts, and he could see the impressions he left with them. The feelings he inspired in them became visible like stars. The good ones were iridescent and swelling, growing larger and brighter. The bad ones were small and dark, contracting like a vacuum in space.

  In his dream, he knew it was important to stack up as many big shiny stars as possible. It was the secret to everything—these little moving, expanding and contracting stars.

  That was all he could remember when he woke.

  It was still dark, but he could tell it was that time of night that was just about to give way to morning. The sun would be up soon. The first thing that sprang to life was the ache in his heart. It was always present in the morning, when he’d have to remind himself that Mom was no longer there. And now, he had Gran to add to the black hole inside his chest. He began to mentally catalog what he had discovered in the last forty-eight hours. He would stick to the facts. The facts were easier to deal with.

  1. The women in his family could time travel.

  2. His town had a secret society to protect the timeline—though he still had no idea from whom.

  3. Gran had been in charge of ISTA.

  4. Dorset marble had properties yet to be discovered or understood, or at least Aunt Ev thought so.

  5. People moved like spliced film when they were Traveling too close to their Initial, and their Initial shimmered when the Traveling version was close by.

  That last part was the most interesting to him, mostly because nobody besides himself appeared to know about the shimmer. Gabi hadn’t seen it, and Aunt Ev hadn’t brought it up either—though maybe she was just so used to it that she neglected to mention it.

  He leaned forward on his knees, giving his back a rest from the uncomfortable tree trunk that his spine had practically fused to during the night. Its bark looked like the striated backs of his hands when he studied them up close. In the half-awake moments of dawn he had the weird feeling that his skin was just softer bark. Under a microscope everything looks related.

  He took a deep breath. He reached into his right front pocket and pulled out Gran’s shopping-list-turned-warning and Aunt Ev’s grounding stone.

  Gran had said she would be back.

  “How about now, Gran?” he whispered into the twilight. “I could use some answers.”

  But how many answers would Gran have? It seemed that at some point she had realized Doc had deceived her. Did she know about Billie and Doc? He still wasn’t sure what Aunt Billie had to do with all of this either.

  At any rate, Gran -5 was missing some key facts, and that worried him more than anything. If Gran had gone back in time five years to get help from herself, why didn’t she tell herself everything? Why did Gran -5 tell him to trust Doc? And which Gran changed her mind?

  There were so many questions and no one around to answer them. His mouth was dry and his neck was stiff with cold and lack of proper sleep. He heard Gabi stir next to him.

  “Well, I’m not sure I slept at all.” Gabi croaked out the words.

  “Me neither.”

  “You did. I heard you snore.” She shook out her makeshift pillow and put it back on over her sweater.

  “I did not!”

  “Yes, you did. I was looking at you and your mouth was wide open. I’m surprised nothing made a home in it overnight.”

  Finn smacked his lips together and gulped a few times. “It kind of tastes like something did.”

  “I’d give anything for some Earl Grey with five packets of sugar.” She pulled the hood up over her head and leaned against the tree with him. “No one came for us. Do you think they gave up searching?”

  “No. I think they’ll expect us to get hungry and come out of hiding sooner or later. I don’t think anyone suspects we’re going up the mountain.”

  A rather plump robin was welcoming the morning with more energy than the rest of the forest. Finn looked at it with appreciation, feeling the need to make an enthusiastic move of his own. “Let’s start. The sun is almost up and we can get ahead of any leaf peepers—or anyone else.”

  Approaching the trailhead meant approaching Gran’s house. Finn was afraid of two things: who would be watching her house, and whether he could keep it together in front of Gabi. He didn’t want to think of seeing Gran the way he had, lifeless and staring at nothing. The safest place in his world no longer felt safe.

  Gran’s house had the audacity to look exactly the same as before. Finn had an impulse to throw a rock and break one of the upstairs windows. Birds continued to eat at Gran’s bird feeder, and Finn wondered who would fill it now. He wanted to tell them to ration the seed, that it was special. It was from Gran and there’d never be more.

  There was a finality to Gran’s disappearance. One he hadn’t been old enough to feel for Faith right away. What if Mom—? No. No time to think of that now.

  “You okay?” Gabi sidled up next to him and looked through the trees toward Gran’s house.

  “I’m fine. Let’s make sure we stay far behind the tree line. They’re going to be watching her house, too.”

  She grabbed his hand and squeezed it softly. It was her way of saying she knew. She knew this was hard for him and she knew saying anything would only make it harder. Finn squeezed back.

  They plodded on, making their own path through the woods where there was none. Their footsteps in the leaves sounded too loud to Finn in the early dawn. They entered the trailhead about four hundred feet up from the parking area. He couldn’t see any cars from where they were, but that didn’t mean they weren’t hidden around the bend. The trail was wide here, wide enough to drive a car down. Finn knew it got narrower and narrower.

  “We still don’t have a map,” Gabi said.

  “I read part of the trail guide last night before Aunt Ev showed up. I think I can remember some of it. The quickest trail to the top is the one with orange blazes.” The truth was he wasn’t very s
ure of that, but in reassuring Gabi he also reassured himself.

  Gabi gave him a smile that was more wistful than courageous. “Well, you follow a trail up and then you come back down. How hard can it be?”

  “Ha ha,” he said.

  “Still, it’s the only plan we have, right?” she said.

  “Okay. The guide said the bottom of the trail allows for vehicles and snowmobiles, but it’s only like this for a little bit. That’s always about as far as I went when I was little and walked with my mom. She said the higher elevations would be too hard for me back then. Not, like, recently, or anything.” He didn’t want Gabi to think he was a total weakling.

  He had been old enough to handle this hike for a while now. Yet he had never shown any interest in going with Mom. If he had, he would know the trail. He’d probably even know where to find the tree. Mom probably had favorite spots along the way. All that information would have been useful. He’d like to Travel back in time and tell himself to take more interest.

  The ground was carpeted with dead leaves. The ruts from last winter’s snowmobile traffic were now long narrow puddles from the rainstorms, but it was easy enough to stay in the middle of the trail and keep out of the mud.

  Gabi was on the same wavelength. “Don’t get your feet wet. We’re going to have a hard enough time as it is in these flimsy sneakers.”

  They plodded on, Gabi in front and Finn following close behind. He was the faster walker and figured it was better to let her set the pace.

  Finn studied the long grooves in the mud. Some were fresh dirt bike tracks. Bikers must also use this early part of the trail for fun.

  He bumped into Gabi, nearly tumbling over her. “Ouch! A little warning before braking next time, okay?”

  “Sorry. It’s just—there’s a fork.” She gestured in front of her.

  Sure enough, the path in front of them divided into two.

  “What did the guidebook say?” Gabi asked.

  “It didn’t. I’m sure of it. There wasn’t anything about a fork at this elevation. We’re supposed to keep traveling straight along the trail until we see a clearing and then an old hunting cabin.”

  “Well, the fork is here. Is there a blaze or a cairn anywhere?” They looked for something that would tell them which way to go. None of the trees were marked with an orange blaze, and there was no tottering stack of stones either.

  “Maybe it isn’t marked because it’s one of those that meet up with each other farther in,” Gabi offered. “Maybe it doesn’t matter which way you go.”

  Finn studied both choices and they looked exactly the same. It was too early in the hike for setbacks. He began to second-guess himself. Maybe he was remembering the trail guide wrong.

  “We can go right, and if we don’t find the clearing we’ll come back to this point and try again,” Gabi offered.

  “I feel like it’s left. We should go left.”

  Gabi didn’t disagree but she looked skeptical. “Well, let’s mark it.” She looked around on the ground and found enough stones to make a small cairn at the base of a skinny tree.

  Finn knew enough to know this was what hikers did. You needed a way to mark where you’d been, so you could find it again.

  They went left at Finn’s urging. He took the lead, promising not to walk too fast.The trail narrowed to only a few feet wide and began to slope up. The woods became winter-quiet, like the birds weren’t planning on following.

  The trail was poorly maintained. Maybe it had been “well marked” years ago—Finn realized that he hadn’t checked the publication date of the trail guide—but so far he hadn’t seen a single blaze on a tree. He wasn’t sure they were going the right way and he had a horrible fear that this would keep happening. They’d keep on reaching unmarked forks. They might never be able to find the right route to the summit, or even worse, the right route back down. Finn kept that little concern to himself.

  He focused on the the immediate goal. “Assuming we do find the tree . . .” he began.

  “Yeah . . .” Gabi was still walking behind him. Finn didn’t want to turn and see her face yet.

  “You know a portal goes somewhere.”

  “Or somewhen.”

  “Right, and who knows if it will even work. But if it does, well—I need to go alone.” The sound of her footsteps stopped abruptly behind him. He forced himself to turn around and face her.

  “Seriously? We’ve been over this. You’re not going without me!” She set her shoulders and started walking again.

  Finn stayed squarely in her way, unmoving. “We don’t know where it goes, Gabi. I don’t know what I’ll find there. I don’t even know if I’ll make it back.”

  “We’ll make it back. Together.” She maneuvered around him and stubbornly took the lead. This was her way of saying she had already won the argument.

  Finn did not follow. “Someone needs to stay behind to tell my dad what happened.” In case I don’t come back. In case—

  Gabi turned back to glare at him. “No.”

  “Gabi, I have to do this. It’s my family and my problem. I’m not going to let you get hurt or lost because of me.”

  Her face softened. She placed her hand on his arm. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”

  “There’s no guarantee of that. You and I know that better than anyone, Gabi.”

  Her eyes softened. She knew, just like he did. Remainders must be careful.

  “Listen, if anything does happen, couldn’t your aunt Ev go back in time and stop us? Think about it—she obviously rehearsed that entry into the church. She knew where everyone would be looking, right down to the second on her giant watch! She can redo things.”

  “I don’t think it works that way, Gabi. If it did, why is Gran dead? Why is Mom missing at all? Why didn’t Aunt Ev know that Aunt Billie would come back? I don’t think infinite do-overs are a possibility.”

  The doubt he was casting landed straight on her shoulders. He saw her bravado fade, and she actually appeared to shrink a few inches.

  “Even one do-over would be enough, wouldn’t it?” she said. “And we know at least one is possible, because last night Aunt Ev said I wasn’t there before.”

  Finn shook his head. “I don’t think it’s something we should count on. If my family could just go back and change everything that goes wrong, our lives should have been a whole lot easier up till now. Nothing bad would’ve happened to any of us.” Mom would be safe. Faith would never have drowned.

  The toe of Gabi’s sneaker worried at the carpet of dead leaves. He could see that she was realizing the problem with her logic. “But I’m here for a reason this time! I have to be . . .” Her voice trailed off. Finn felt bad for ruining her theory. He wasn’t sure if her eyes were welling up with tears or if the glint of the sun through the leaves was playing a trick. He couldn’t understand why this was so important to her.

  He also couldn’t ignore the growing seed of knowledge inside him, that the danger was far more than either of them could fully understand. It occurred to him, a little too late, that he needed Gabi to have her usual courage. Instead, he had gone and infected her with his doubt.

  “Can we agree to disagree till we find it?” It was a stalling mechanism, but it was all he had. He would stop her once they got to the peak.

  She gave him a halfhearted smile. “Yes. That’s a good plan.”

  He was sure she had no intention of listening to him. He knew he’d have to find the tree first.

  “Speaking of which, we’ve been walking along this trail for half an hour now and we’ve yet to see a clearing,” Gabi said. “I think we made the wrong turn. I think we should go back.”

  “It’s possible we just haven’t hit it yet.”

  “We should head back to the fork and choose the other way.” She turned and began walking back down the path, as if Finn would automatically follow.

  Resentment boiled up inside of him. No one ever let him have control, including Gabi.

  He called
after her, “Stop it, Gabi! I’ve been asked by my family to do this. Mine! I’ve asked you to come along, but this is one time you can’t be in charge.”

  She spun around and looked up at him, her mouth opened in a perfect ‘o’ of shock. After a moment, she recovered her composure and walked back up the trail till they were face to face. Finn was staring down into Gabi’s intense gaze. She was on her tip-toes with both arms rigid at her sides. Finn began to get nervous and wondered how quickly he could duck a punch from Gabi. She was small but fierce.

  “Don’t think this is just your fight, Finn. I’m already involved. I know your secret, and I’m the one ISTA will come after if you don’t come home.”

  Finn exhaled. “Let’s try another ten minutes up this trail. If we don’t find the clearing then we can turn around and go your way. Fair?” he asked.

  “Okay, but I’m setting my alarm.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket. “When it goes off, we at least think about turning around, okay?”

  Finn didn’t answer. He took the lead again.

  She muttered something under her breath that Finn couldn’t hear. It didn’t matter. He felt sure he was on the right trail.

  Chapter 16

  With every step Finn took he expected to see more sunlight filtering through the trees. He waited for the clearing. Down couldn’t be the right direction, it had to be up. He quickened his pace—he had to cover as much ground as possible before Gabi made him turn around.

  “I know what you’re doing,” Gabi panted behind him. “Just because you’re going faster doesn’t make it the right trail.”

  “I’m sorry. I just need to see around this bend in the path ahead. We can stop here and take a breather if you want.”

  Gabi plopped down right in the middle of the path and put her head between her knees. “I wish we had water.”

  “I know.” He agreed even though he wasn’t all that thirsty. He was done feeling hopeless. He was ready to keep on climbing. In fact, he was sure he could do it for days if he had to. Nothing was going to stop him now that he was here. His legs itched to keep going. It was clear hers needed a rest though. She began rubbing her calves with her hands.