by Carol Ann
Madame would lead me into the music room and amaze me with her talent and virtuosity.
Her music lifted me from the realm of worldly concerns.
She did not ask me to dance. She was no longer trying to humble me. She was like some ferocious pet, precious yet dangerous like a live crocodile. I began to love Madame as she loved me as well although we pretended to disdain each other.
“So, Gitana, what evil have you accomplishment today? Have you fed your young to the wolves.”
“No, but I poisoned the royal well.”
“Well, we will just have to drink wine and bathe in rain drops. Your soul proves quite arduous. But I am going to drag you and Louis into heaven kicking and screaming as you both indulge in the sin of adultery. You have both fallen from grace. We feel it destiny that We have met you and Our duty is to save your soul.”
“Majesty, I have done much worse and Louis would never let me refuse him. I have bedded woman as well. My soul is like an impure pond. I am Mahrime>”
“You mean you can’t go back to the gypsy world? Lord what will you do next?
To sleep with women means the devil whispers in your ear. That is perversion. Let us go to the chapel and pray for your tormented soul.”
“I am more tormented by you and not by my soul. Madame, I am gypsy to the bone, and I do appreciate your kind efforts and hope they succeed in the end.” 278
Madame let out a large bray of laughter. “Perhaps, Carmen, it is my destiny is to conquer you and deliver you into the hands of our Holy Father. Our time on earth is but a slow second: Hell is for an eternity. In Hell, one’s brain is seared by the continuous heat
. and the water tastes like urine. And people scream in pain and confess their sins but it is too late.”
“ People do that here on earth, Madame. Have you not seen the lot of the peasant or for that matter the lot of the soldier in this horrid war?”
“We are concerned with the War as well. Louis sometimes leads the troops. We fear for him. And Phillip of Spain is a pure imbecile and a weakling. They say he is quite mad, screaming and ranting. The only sensible thing is he had a normal son.
We question our husband’s decision to put a Bourbon heir on the throne at all costs. Let us pray for victory, The whole world is against the Spanish succession, and Louis will not stop until we win. In those times we prayed for victory and I felt Madame’s steady, honest soul. She saw things in black and white and could not perceive the gray areas. Things were either evil or good. Louis saw the gray areas as any King must. Louis thought damn anyone who disagrees. The casualties were immense as they fought this war on three continents.
When Madame loved anyone she was very generous. She gave me a beautiful necklace saying, “Here, Gitana, take this jewelry: they will go well with your dark hair.
They are offensive to my sight. The Lord blesses those who are kind, humble, and unadorned. They make me deathly ill.”
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“What is Madam trying to do? Eliminate Her rival. Can this be the devil’s work?”
“Devil, my ass. Are they not beautiful? Emeralds, rubies and diamonds. Never question Us!”
“I will question you from time to time, Madame, as I am the only one who may.”
“We would behead you, Gitana, except we like clever woman. Besides if We did that your head would just go on talking to us and We would go mad.”
“And my headless body would roam the castle halls, moaning and screaming.”
“Well,” said Madame, all things considered. Beheading is out. Perhaps a chastity belt might be in order to keep you from lustful activities in mind and body.”
“No, because I’d just get the key. Perhaps Madame would try her own remedy as she considers sex merely a marital duty, an act of filth that yields a baby.”
“There is no restraint that could contain me,” she explained, “as flames of fire shoot out from my private parts which glow like embers of coal.”
“I burn much hotter than you, Madame, because of my gypsy blood. The fires of hell burn in my loins and that is why Louis comes so readily to my bed. Perhaps, we should try Solomon’s solution and cut him in half.”
“We think Louis would better be left whole. Now let me fasten this beautiful necklace around your neck. And do not be vain of your beauty! That is blasphemy in the Lord’s eyes.”
“And you would have me anger our Lord?”
“He sometimes overlooks small indiscretions, my dear. He won’t look at your small sins as he has such gigantic ones to contemplate.”
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“Madame it is so fortunate we are not enemies. You one woman I want as a friend.”
“And what makes you think We are not enemies?”
“It would be the cruelest sensation since I adore you as I adore Louis.”
“We just wanted to tease you a bit,” said Madame. “Ours is a unique situation.
We are told that in Japan and in Africa it is common to have many wives. It makes me think of going to market and selecting the best peaches.”
“My Queen, I vow to serve you as a faithful servant. And I shall also serve our Lord. Madam, might I get a doctor for my oldest, Antonio? He is very ill and has lost much weight. He is only thirty-five and he moves like an old man. I have tried to give him gypsy herbs to fortify his heart and lungs yet they did not improve his condition.” Madame immediately summoned for the carriage and off we went to see the doctor. We found him alone suffering in his bed and Madame gasped when she saw him.
He was as thin as a twelve year old boy. Madame told the attendant to carefully place him on the soft pillow and wrap him in a warm blanket for he was shivering.
The doctor said it was a poison, perhaps arsenic and that he would stay in his own quarters with his family. He would only see the King, the Queen, his wife, and me. No strangers would be admitted. The doctor asked numerous questions about any enemies he might have. I evinced the idea that a number of young artists envied him his position as court painter to the King and Queen.
As Madame and I were waiting his wife, Celestina, came bursting in and laid her body over his chest. She was distraught, inconsolable, an hysterical like any devoted 281
wife would be. I asked her why she didn’t summon the doctor for four months. She said she thought it was the Plague and she cared for her mother when she was ill with it.
“No, dear, it’s some manner of poisoning.” And Celestina said that someone would pay for this attempt on his life. Celestina was every bit the good wife and placed his smooth, cool hands on his fevered brow. Several days later, the doctor summoned us with the news that he would rally in the morning and then slip back into a coma after eating his wife’s cooking. I told him to keep Celestina out and promptly threw her in prison with the Queen’s approval. He regained his health and we warned him about his wife. He became furious and called us meddlesome old bitches. He said she was the mother of his children and would never harm him. The Queen told him he could not curse her and put him in an adjoining cell. As we left them Celestina shouted “I am no murderer and you will never see your son again, you old bruja (old witch). The bond between husband and wife is indestructible. He will hate your forever.” She was so lovely with her indigo eyes and long, curly caramel colored brown hair. Evil is sometimes not written in the face where it can be detected: but it rests behind the soul.
Antonio was in real danger and I told her I would cut her heart out if she harmed my boy.
She just laughed and said, “Go right ahead, Carmen.”
Seven months later, he was dead, and by her side, was Jean, Baptiste Colbert, who stood by her side as the priest said the final eulogy. He was the King’s most high minister and a national hero on the battlefield. She shifted her eyes to me during the sermon and I saw the disdain and triumph in her eyes and she invited me back to her villa so I wouldn’t feel alone in my grief. Madame replied immediately that I was to stay with her and Louis in the castle where I would be safe and she viciously asked 282
Celestina for her secret recipes to maintain health. Celestina looked a bit frightened and vulnerable and clung even tighter to Jean Baptiste.
She replied that of course she would do that.
“Don’t keep me waiting, my dear, I am not a patient woman,”said Madame.
“Yes, Madame has that reputation but also that she is a pious and kind woman as well.”
“We are that, my dear, but you must know we are not kind to murderers and snakes in the grass. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. It is an arrangement made with God,” said Madame.
“Pardon, Majesty, said Jean Baptiste. “I feel you do Celestina a grand injustice.”
“You may not question us, Jean Baptiste. We are supreme and do not give a damn for your title, Be silent.” And he was.
“I said, “ You are a mouse caught in a trap waiting for the cat’s arrival. I will win in any situation I find myself in,” I said. “Nobody stops La Gitana and I am that cat.”
“We can see you have a broken heart and know not what you’re saying,” said Jean Baptiste. I looked at him and laughed and laughed all the way back to where the coaches waited.
As Celestina got in her coach, I said, “As a gypsy, I can say your days will be anguished, The happiness you perceive to be yours now will become as thin and colorless as a spring wind.”
She died that year of a painful, wasting disease and none of the doctors could find any poison or any reasonable diagnosis. I am gypsy to the bone and I will not tell what I did. Blood to blood, dust to dust. She had a comfortable coffin and an eon to lie there in 283
the silence. Sometimes the Angel of Death can be a woman. God made a fearsome thing when he made me.
It should be noted that there were few people at her funeral for fear of death.
Besides the King and Queen, there was only myself and Jean Baptiste. He knew better than to question me at the funeral or anytime later but when we crossed paths, he gave me the baleful eye or what we gypsies call the mal ojo (evil eye). For much of my life I chose to go as a shadow in people’s lives, powerful, fierce and mostly silent.
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CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
But one thing in my life gives me pride is the way I raised my sons to be fierce and courageous and not to be vainglorious as so many royal children were. I taught them that glory and wealth must be earned and not conveyed like a prize at the fair. A child is like a misty flower growing toward the sun. My sons were kind, generous, and thoughtful of others. Both received a king’s education in academics, languages and the theory of war. A boy is not born to be a man: he must learn to be a man. And Louis was the ideal man to teach them the theories of war and government.
Julio came to love me as he did the Lady Magdalena and he charmed the Queen with his understanding of the mechanics of government. Julio decided to become a soldier in the War of Succession, and was well suited for the position though I wanted him to study philosophy at the university. Antonio, when he lived, had sensitivity and creativity. Julio, like Louis, had the soul of a warrior. I tried to get Louis to forbid it but he wisely said that if he didn’t let Julio serve in the King’s army, he would just leave and find his way into another war. I see in retrospect that Louis was right. I finally relented when I saw he could not be changed. He was just seventeen when he joined. I had but one requirement before he could go, that he marry and produce a child. I told him to get a fat, saucy girl, a good cook with a sweet nature for raising children.
“In other words,” Julio stated, “you want me to choose a maid and a whore.
Someone the opposite of you, Mama. The only thing is most women, the royals, are more complex and scheming like you.”
“Am I that odious to you, my son? Simple people love so much more than people like me.”
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“I think just the opposite, Mama. Simple people are like sheep: they eat, sleep, and fuck! I don’t want a rag doll, Mama. I want someone who makes my blood boil.” I assented and we scoured the countryside for a suitable mate. We decided on a commoner because their babies are more sturdy and healthy and the peasants are more likely to have healthy births. Madame, and Louis wanted to weigh in on the decision but I firmly stated I wanted it to be my decision alone. At first, Madame was hurt and angry but Louis understood.
When I thought of all these girls, so fair and so pure, I thought of dew washed clover bending in the wind. In the end, I decided on two young women. One was complex and artistic, a Spanish beauty with gypsy blood. The other, was a Castilian milk maid, red of hair with ivory skin with a small splattering of orange freckles across the base of her nose. Women of the common class could bring a baby to term with a lot more strength and fortitude. I did not want the pale, weak specimens royals produce. I wanted fresh blood.
In the end, I chose the Castilian girl, because when I asked her what was important to a marriage she replied that obedience to her husband and having babies were her ultimate goals while the one named Monica, merely laughed at the question. The other, Elena, had no political aspirations and her skin was so pale like a bowl of water and milk. She was steady and not at all volatile. Her long, slender hands were like carved ivory.
My son completely ignored my choice, choosing to question Monica, the dark one. I thought I detected a gypsy influence in the way her dark eyes flashed and her full, 286
sensuous lips glistened with red paint, and in the way she used her hands when she talked.
“Would you consider yourself a good servant and helpmate to me and why did you not answer the question?” asked Julio.
“I laughed because the question begs a lie. I would please myself first, and you, secondly, to be honest. If one cannot serve oneself, one cannot make anyone else happy.
If I wanted a master I’d just marry a gypsy man. I want a warm man not a King. I have twelve brothers and sisters, and know a lot about being a mother. One must sometimes step back and let them feel their power. They are not toys brought into this world to please us. Each child must find his own way with our help. My birth lines are not noble: I suppose you’ll not choose me, Julio.”
“You let me be the judge, Monica. Does the act of love repel you?”
“I am pure still and I dream of the day a man will take me in his arms. I know my thoughts are mahrime, and forbidden. But I feel a yearning though I know not the act of love.”
“And, Elena, what do you think of the act between men and women.” Elena replied, “I would be entirely faithful to you and never deny you. It is a wife’s most sacred duty.”
“Love is not a duty, Elena. It is a great pleasure, the most important link between man and wife,” said Julio. “And what do you think of that, Monica?”
“I am told it is bliss and I feel I would greatly enjoy it.”
“Care you to accompany me this day, Monica? Elena you may leave. You will make someone a fine wife just not mine. Thank you for your time. My coachman will 287
see you home. Mama, I have spoken. I am a man now, and I shall do my own choosing whether you like it or not. I don’t want any wife who would act as a servant. Monica is only fifteen yet she stands her ground and I find her aspect pleases me.”
“May I have a word with your mother, Julio?” said Monica
“Monica, you may.
“I am honored to meet you, Gitana. I have gypsy blood as you can see and I know by your eyes that I was not your first choice. I am no great lady but perhaps I could be a great person. Also, I know you read, and I would be most grateful if you would teach me. Please honor my request, I shall serve you in every way.”
“I shall teach you and I know you would be a great learner. Welcome to my family.”And I stepped forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She blushed bright pink and curtseyed. The feel of her skin was hot on my lips. A vision of a white shell with pink insides passed through my mind. It portended fertility. Three months later on August 11, 1707, Julio went to his precious war and Monica was due to have twins.
I kn
ow that a deer bounding across a winter field was as natural as a gun in Julio’s hands. But it was small comfort. In those first days Louis was beside me and Madame also came over to give me her blessings for Julio’s safe return. I went with her to chapel many times to hear the Word of the Lord. She frequently brought croissants, jam, fruit and a good, dark, aromatic African coffee and they both gave me all their support.
Fierce people die as easily as timid people. Yet the force of their character stays in the minds of the living. Not seven months later I received word that he was killed in battle.
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Louis understood my grief as did Madame. “A mother’s heart never heals, my love, and you’ve lost two sons and Julio never got to hold the twins in his arms. I slept in the same bed with my mother until I was eleven. When I was a child she gave me her love instead of turning me over to a series of nannies as was the custom,” said Louis.
Madame came forward and embraced me and told me I should have Louis’s company all the time for a while. “Pray that We three will always be together in heaven or in hell,” she said.
“Francoise,” said Louis, “ if I ever get into heaven it will be because of all your prayers and exhortations.”
“I am too soiled by the dust of this world to get into heaven,” I said.
Madame grabbed both our hands, and said, “God does not judge by any single act.
He takes in the whole picture. You, Gitana, are a good and loving mother, and friend.
And Louis is a quite kind and generous man. I will not go to heaven without my two best friends”
“Carmen, do you see why We love this woman?” asked Louis.
“I have loved you both for an eon at least. You gave me safety from Spain. And you helped raise my children.”
We were close to the wine cellar and I descended bringing back up two bottles.
We spoke of days gone by like a spokes of a wheel moving slowly and Madame said,
“Let us be good to one another and stay together.” The golden goblets of wine reflected the light of the candles, and I realized I was getting old, but I had lived free in my life, a slave to no one. Then I thought of one white rose lying in a pool of blood. And in a dream I saw Julio fall from his mount.