Haven

by Karen Lynch

  I looked down at our joined hands. Hers used to be so small. Now, it covered mine. Her fingers were long and slender with pretty manicured nails. My nails were trimmed short with no polish.

  “How much did Mark tell you?” I asked her.

  “More than I expected.” She let out a shaky laugh. “He asked me to have an open mind, but I thought he’d lost it when he started talking about vampires and demons. He told me a vampire took you the night you disappeared and made you into one of them, and that’s why you haven’t aged. Mark had always seemed so professional, but the crazy stuff he was saying scared me. I grabbed my gun and told him to get out of my house before I called the police.”

  My eyes widened. “You have a gun?”

  She nodded gravely. “I also have a black belt. The gun is only for home protection.”

  Sadness and regret washed over me. I knew without asking that my sister had taken these extreme measures to protect herself because of me. I wasn’t the only one whose innocence had been stolen that night.

  “There I was, threatening to have Mark arrested, and he pulls out his cell phone to show me pictures he took of you at a coffee shop with two other girls. I still wasn’t convinced until he played a video clip. I couldn’t make out what you were saying, but as soon as I heard your laugh, I knew he was telling the truth.

  “I write children’s fantasy, so you’d think I’d be more open to the idea of vampires. Hearing you were a vampire all these years, and now you’re human again, it was almost too much. But it’s all true, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  She drew a trembling breath. “Did it hurt?”

  I nodded, grateful Mark hadn’t told her everything. It wouldn’t help her or me to tell her how much I’d suffered at Eli’s hands. She’d lost too much already.

  “It was over quickly,” I lied.

  I bit the inside of my cheek, remembering the four terrifying days of my transition. On the first day, I’d woken up violently ill, disoriented, and thinking Eli had drugged me. I’d had no idea what was happening to me. And then I’d felt something moving in my chest. I’d screamed and pulled against my bonds, but I was too weak to fight. Eli took great pleasure in describing how the demon was growing inside me and would soon take over my body, making me into a monster like him.

  “I’m glad for that, at least.” She gave me a searching look. “Mark said he’d never heard of a vampire becoming human, until you.”

  “I’m very lucky.”

  She fell quiet for a moment. “What was it like? Did…did you ever think about us?”

  I squeezed her fingers. “Every single day. I never stopped missing you.”

  “Why didn’t you try to contact us, to let us know you were alive?”

  In her voice, I heard the scared little girl I’d left behind. How did I explain why I couldn’t have gone home without telling her the whole truth about the evil that had lived inside me?

  “Marie, I don’t know how much Mark told you about vampires, but they’re nothing like what you read in books. They’re evil. The demon lives inside you like a parasite, and it takes control of your body. I could think, but that was all I could do.”

  Her free hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, God.”

  “I’m here now, and the demon is dead. That’s all that matters.”

  Marie could never know how every day of my life as a vampire had been a living hell, and that thinking of her and our parents was the only thing that had kept me sane through it all.

  It took her a minute to recover. “Mark said you’ve been human again for a few months. Why didn’t you try to find me, or Mom and Dad?”

  I smiled sadly. “I wanted to, more than you know, but how could I explain where I’ve been and why I look like this? I can’t go back to my old life.”

  “You weren’t going to tell us, ever?”

  “I thought it was the best thing for you guys if I didn’t come back. It killed me to make that decision, but it was to protect you. Mom and Dad wouldn’t be able to handle the truth, and there’d be a media circus. I didn’t want that for any of you.”

  She pressed her lips together and looked around the living room. “Is that why you came to this little town? Because no one here would recognize you?”

  “Yes.”

  “How are you able to support yourself here? The rent on this building can’t be cheap. And what about school?”

  I smiled. “You sound like an older sister.”

  She returned my smile. “I guess I am the older one now. That will take some getting used to.”

  “For both of us. To answer your questions, a friend of mine owns this building and she’s letting me stay here as long as I want. Everyone here thinks I’m Sara’s cousin from Syracuse. I’m a waitress at a diner, and I plan to finish high school before I apply to college.”

  Her brow creased. “You can’t pay for college working as a waitress.”

  I placed my other hand over our joined ones. “I have money in the bank for college and anything else I need. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  “But…”

  “Why don’t I show you around?” I let go of her hand and stood. “You’ll love my studio.”

  Her face brightened. “You still paint?”

  “Not until I was healed – made human again. It’s taken a while to get back into it, but I’m getting better at it every day.”

  I led her up to the loft, and I smiled at her gasp of delight when she saw the studio Sara had created for me. She went immediately to the stack of canvases and flipped through them.

  “These are beautiful, Emma.” She walked around the room. “I remember how much you wanted your own studio. You hated sharing the playroom with me.”

  Her words brought on a tide of fresh memories, and my throat tightened.

  “Only because you kept stealing my brushes and losing them.”

  She walked to one of the windows that overlooked the bay. Her tone grew wistful. “You always did love the ocean.”

  I joined her. “You did, too. I remember how excited you used to get when we packed up the car to go to Virginia Beach.”

  She nodded sadly. “We sold the house there after you disappeared. It reminded Mom too much of the way things used to be.”

  My chest squeezed. Our parents had loved that house, and Dad used to joke about retiring there. It hurt to think of all the ways my disappearance had changed their lives.

  I hugged Marie. “I’m so sorry for what you went through.”

  “Don’t ever apologize for what that monster did to you,” she said fiercely. “He took you from us.”

  “If I hadn’t snuck out that night, I might never have met him, and –”

  Marie pulled back to fix me with a stern look. “One foolish mistake doesn’t mean you deserve what happened to you. I hate that thing for what he did to you. I hope he’s dead, too.”

  I nodded and looked away, unable to meet her eyes. “I was one of those monsters for a long time. I did things…awful things. I was just as evil as he was.”

  “Don’t say that. That demon parasite was evil. It took over your body and made you do those things.”

  “But—”

  “You are the victim here. Could you have stopped the demon from doing those things?”

  “No.”

  She smiled tenderly. “Then how can you be to blame for what it did?”

  I let out a shuddering breath. “It’s hard to believe that when I remember everything the vampire did.”

  “What the vampire did, not what you did. Maybe we should find you someone to talk to about this. A professional.”

  I made a face. “That would go over well. As soon as I started talking about vampires, I’d find myself locked up in a mental ward. I have to deal with this on my own.”

  “Not on your own.” She gave me a determined look. “I just got you back. I’m not letting you go through this alone.”

  My whole body felt light with happiness. “I can’t believ
e you’re actually here. I missed you so much.”

  “I missed you too, Em.”

  My eyes teared up again at her old nickname for me. “No one’s called me that in a long time.”

  “Then I’ll have to use it a lot to make up for lost time.”

  “I won’t complain. And I should probably send your PI a bonus. If not for him, we wouldn’t be here talking right now.”

  “Don’t worry. Mark got a nice fat check from me yesterday. He was worth every cent.”

  We walked over to Sara’s old couch and sat. My heart felt near to bursting having Marie there after all I’d been through. I had a feeling it was going to take me a little while to work through all my emotions. But I had my sister back. That was all that mattered.

  “So, you’re a writer now. When you were little, all you wanted to be when you grew up was an astronaut.”

  She chuckled. “I outgrew that by the time I was twelve. I got into creative writing in high school, and my teacher encouraged me to continue it in college. It paid off. My first book was a best seller and won the Newbery Medal. Been writing ever since.”

  “Wow. Congrats. To think, my little sister is a bestselling author. How’d you end up in DC?”

  A shadow crossed her face. “After college, I also became a lobbyist for several children’s organizations. It’s easier to live there, and I can write anywhere.”

  “Do you see Mom and Dad often?”

  “A couple of times a year. I go stay with them in Charleston for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom likes to come visit me in the summer.”

  The thought of them spending holidays together sent a pang of loneliness through me for all I’d missed. Christmas, especially, used to be fun at our house, and Mom had always made the tree decorating into a big event.

  Marie tugged at her hair, her expression thoughtful. “We have to figure out the best way to tell them about you. I know you’re afraid of people finding out, but we can’t let them continue to believe you’re dead. Don’t worry. We’ll work it out.”

  “Okay.” Now that I had Marie back, I wanted all of my family together, even if we had to meet secretly.

  Her eyes sparkled with excitement. “Why don’t you come back to DC with me? I have plenty of room in my house, and you could go to school there. You could pretend to be my younger cousin.”

  “I can’t.”

  Her face fell, and I rushed to explain. “It’s not just my fear of someone finding out about me. I don’t like cities. Too many bad memories. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to go somewhere small. And I love it here.”

  And I loved Roland. The thought of leaving him caused a pit to open in my stomach. I didn’t know if I’d have a future with him after I told him my secret, but I had to try. If Marie could get past what I’d been and done, maybe he could, too. He hadn’t told me he loved me, but his wolf had chosen me for his mate. That had to mean something.

  “Maybe I can come stay with you sometimes,” she said hopefully. “I can’t stand the thought of not seeing you often. You’ll have to forgive me if I’m a bit clingy for the next ten years or so.”

  I laughed, feeling almost weightless in my joy. “I’d love that. Can you stay tonight?”

  Her eyebrow rose. “You couldn’t make me leave.”

  “We can order pizza and hang out here.”

  “Like when we used to have movie night?”

  I grinned. “Pepperoni on my side and Hawaiian on yours. I bet we can find The Goonies on TV.” Marie used to love that movie, and I’d always teased her because she had a crush on Sean Astin.

  “You remembered.”

  She looked so young in that moment, and it was almost easy to forget she was nearly twice my age now. When I looked at her, I didn’t see a thirty-one-year-old woman. I saw a little girl who needed her big sister’s reassurance.

  I took her hand again. “I remember everything about you, Sis. No matter how far away I was, my heart was with you, Mom, and Dad.”

  “And we were always with you.” She blinked back tears. “I feel…whole again for the first time since…”

  “I know.”

  It would take time for me to feel that way, but getting Marie back had filled one of the gaping holes in my heart. Eli had taken everything from me, but I was reclaiming my family and my life piece by piece. I would never be the girl I was back then, but I could be happy.

  Chapter 22

  Roland

  I glanced up from the tire I was changing when I heard Paul enter the garage. He was always in before me, and I’d been here an hour already.

  “About time you dragged your ass in here. I was starting to think I was the only one working here –”

  I stopped when a new smell hit my nose. It was musky and strong, and it made my nose wrinkle in distaste. I looked at Paul who wore a satisfied smile, and I knew exactly what the smell was.

  “April?”

  His smile widened. “Last night.”

  I stood and extended my hand. “Congrats.”

  I put a hand over my nose when he got within a few feet of me. “Man, I hope my bonding scent is not that bad.”

  He chuckled. “Yours was pretty damn awful when you imprinted. April loves mine.”

  Emma loved mine, too. Or she used to. I had no idea what she felt about me anymore. Seeing how happy my cousin was, I was envious that things had never been as easy between Emma and me. If I’d imprinted on a female wolf, we would have been mated by now. But she wouldn’t be Emma.

  Paul sat on an overturned oil drum, and I went back to removing the lug nuts from the tire. After a few minutes, he cleared his throat.

  “Are we not going to talk about Maxwell’s big announcement yesterday? You know, the one the whole pack is buzzing about.”

  I shrugged. Seemed like all the pack talked about these days was me. First, it was the thing with Trevor and Gary, then it was me imprinting on a human. Now it was because Maxwell had chosen me to be his successor. I just wanted to mind my own business, but I figured I might as well get used to the attention. As the future Alpha, I could no longer fly below the radar in the pack. I didn’t like it, but I accepted it.

  Reactions to Maxwell’s news had been pretty much what I’d expected. My mother and grandmother were beaming with pride, and Pete was happy for me. He said he’d never wanted to fill his father’s shoes, and he was content to be a Beta. Like me, he’d thought Francis would be next in line for Alpha, and he was glad it was me instead.

  Francis, unsurprisingly, was furious when he heard the news. Maxwell had taken him aside for a private talk, and he’d been oddly subdued when they returned an hour later. I had no idea what Maxwell said to him, but Francis didn’t say another word about it, though I’d caught him casting resentful looks at me a few times.

  As for the rest of the pack, they’d always known the Alpha’s son or one of his nephews would likely be his successor. That was the way it was done, and it was just a matter of him deciding who it would be. Of course, it didn’t stop them from gossiping and staring at me like I was suddenly going to sprout an extra tail.

  “What do you want to know?” I asked without looking up.

  “How long have you known?”

  I removed the last nut and laid the wrench on the floor. “He called me aside after the Beta selection and told me. And yes, I was as shocked as you are.”

  “Actually, I’m not all that surprised. Pete’s not aggressive enough to lead a pack this big, and Francis is too temperamental. That leaves you, Cuz. I guess Maxwell figures that you survived months of training under him so you must be worthy to be Alpha.”

  “I guess so.”

  Paul laughed. “You just found out you’re going to be the next Alpha. How can you be so calm about it?”

  I removed the tire and set it down next to him. “Emma is all I can think about now. Once I work things out with her, I’ll worry about the rest.”

  He took that as an end to the conversation, and we spent the rest of the day work
ing on his engine job. I was so engrossed in the work that I almost missed the text from Emma later that afternoon. My chest warmed when I read her short message.

  Can we talk tonight?

  Yes, I wrote back.

  I felt lighter when I resumed my work. She wanted to talk. I hoped it meant she’d forgiven me or would soon. I thought about her inviting me in the night before last and asking me to sleep in her room. The fact that she’d wanted me near told me she cared about me.

  After work, I went home to shower and eat before heading to Emma’s. I’d been showing up at her place around nine so she most likely meant for me to come at that time. I was so preoccupied, thinking about seeing her, that I barely tasted my mother’s casserole or heard the conversation between her and Grandma at the table.

  “Roland, did you hear what I said?”

  I gave my mother an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

  “I saw Max earlier, and he said to remind you that you haven’t hunted in over a month. Peter and Francis are going tomorrow, and Max wants you to go with them.”

  I groaned silently. Pete and I always went on the monthly hunt together, and Francis usually went with his friends. The only reason Maxwell would want the three of us to go together was to force me to deal with Francis’s resentment about not being selected for Alpha. Maxwell didn’t believe in letting things fester. The sooner you cleared the air and moved on, the better for the pack.

  It was exactly nine when I knocked on Emma’s door, my gut fluttering in anticipation. On the drive over, I’d thought about what Maxwell had said about proving I was worthy of her forgiveness. I’d do whatever she asked of me to earn her trust again.

  Emma opened the door and smiled warmly at me. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”

  “Thanks for inviting me.”

  She stepped back to let me in, and we found ourselves face-to-face in the small entranceway. Her scent and her closeness teased me, reminding me how long it had been since I’d held her. All I had to do was lower my head and claim her sweet mouth. God, I wanted to kiss her so bad, but I couldn’t push her. This was too important.

  I moved past her and waited in the hallway until she indicated we should go into the living room. Something in the way she kept averting her gaze from me told me she was nervous and trying to hide it. I tried not to make too much of it because she did look happy to see me.