by Emma Woods
As Matt talked, I found myself relaxing a little at a time until I was sitting back in my chair, my feet tucked under me. My discomfort faded quickly. He was actually quite soothing to talk to. All my anxiety seemed to be my worry about Matt’s reaction to me, and I started to forget about that as I listened to his explanation.
“When I roast beans, I have to stay close at hand. There’s a moment that the bean actually cracks, and that’s when it’s done. You really have to pay attention so you don’t miss it and overcook them. When I do a batch, I bring along my Bible and have quiet time and then read a book. It’s funny, but I find being at the Beanery can be very restful.” He ended with a self-deprecating smile. “So, that was the long answer for your very simple question. Sorry I ran on so much.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s really interesting. There are a lot of parts of being a small-business owner that I never thought about before.”
Gus came out of his room then and grinned at Matt. “Hi, boss!”
“Hey! I was wondering if you wanted to come to my place today, Gus, and play some X-Box with me. I remember you said you wanted one. Mine’s a little old and battered, but I have some great games.”
You would have thought it was Christmas morning. Gus fairly wriggled with excitement. “Yeah! That sounds great!”
“Cool,” Matt said smoothly. He looked over at me, gauging my reaction. “We’ll do pizza for lunch and I’ll bring him home by supper. What do you think, Corinne?”
I hardly knew what to think. I was stuck between being amazed at Matt’s generosity with his time and worried that Gus would be too much for him. But there was no possible way I could refuse my brother when this was the first friend he’d had since elementary school.
“If you’re sure, I think it’s a great idea,” I said, dredging up a smile.
The two men headed off for their coats and shoes. I followed them to the door, where Gus skipped outside with hardly a good-bye. Matt paused in the foyer and smiled gently.
“I hope you get some good rest,” he said.
I blinked up at him, heart full. “Thanks so much. This means the world to him.”
Matt looked over his shoulder at Gus. “He’s a great guy. I’ll text you if he gets anxious or anything.”
To my great embarrassment, tears were filling my eyes. I nodded and sniffled, and Matt gave my arm a squeeze before heading outside.
I stood at the door in disbelief. Gus was actually going to hang out with Matt for the day. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness and caring. And it wasn’t just Gus that Matt was caring for today. Apparently, he was also doing this because it would help me, too. I wasn’t used to people seeing my needs and was overwhelmed with Matt’s kindness.
“Don’t waste this time crying,” I admonished myself.
I spent the rest of the morning doing all sorts of little things. I washed a few loads of laundry, watched a show on TV that Gus didn’t like while I folded clothes, and read a few chapters of a book while sipping my tea. I took a shower and then made sure my hair and makeup were just right. Matt was dropping Gus off later, and I didn’t want him seeing me looking like I’d just rolled out of bed again.
Rosa called just after lunch and wanted to know if I could join her to visit a thrift shop in a neighboring town. I told her I’d be delighted, and she swung by to pick me up not long after. She asked me about work and I gave her an enthusiastic overview as we drove. I explained how Gus ended up at working at the Beanery. Rosa told me about a new initiative she was hoping to start in the town library.
We pulled into a charming thrift store about twenty minutes later.
“This is one of my favorites,” Rosa explained. “The owner, Mrs. Nettles, goes to estate sales all over the state. She knows what sort of things I like, and if she finds something, she puts it aside for me. I’ve gotten some of my best outfits here.”
“When did you start wearing vintage clothes?” I asked her as we walked toward the shop.
“Well, I always loved putting outfits together. Mom said I would drive her crazy because I changed my clothes half a dozen times a day when I was five.” She laughed and held the door open for me. “I guess I realized I didn’t like having to be a slave to fashions when I was in college. I went on a missions trip to India, and I was so struck by all the poverty there. It seemed frivolous after that to fill my closet with cheap clothes that would be out of style in a few months.
“Fortunately, thrift store shopping was popular around that time. I started scouring all the local shops and found some real gems.” She headed right to the counter where an elderly woman sat, knitting. “Hello, Mrs. Nettles. How are you today?”
“I can’t complain,” Mrs. Nettles said with a smile.
“This is my niece, Corinne,” Rosa introduced me.
I held out a hand and she shook it. “I see the resemblance: two lovely girls.”
“Do you have anything for me?” Rosa asked, getting down to business.
“Well, I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested. I came across quite a haul of couture clothes at a sale last month. There was a department store that had gone out of business years back and had finally been sold. When they opened up the back storage rooms, they found boxes of things going back practically to the turn of the century. I got a lot of very special items, and I thought of you the whole time.” Mrs. Nettles twinkled at us both. “They’re all on the racks. I haven’t sold a single one yet. Business has been slow.”
“Mrs. Nettles, you are a dream come true!” squealed my aunt.
I followed her with a little less enthusiasm. My idea of a great wardrobe involved New York City and designer clothes wrapped in tissue paper in elegant shopping bags. Rosa always looked fabulous, but we didn’t share the same style, even if we did have the same love of beautiful things.
However, it didn’t take long before I found myself flipping through the hangers and pulling things off the racks to try on. Mrs. Nettles had a very good eye. Some of the things she’d bought were really high-end. They were brand new, even though they were decades old. Everything was in good shape.
In the end, Rosa walked away with several bags of things. She’d certainly hit the mother lode and was thrilled with her finds. I was more conservative with my purchases, though I certainly found a few items that I knew would be a great fit for my wardrobe. One of my best finds was a brand new navy satin handbag from the 1940s. It had a little sparkly clasp and an unusual boxy shape. I pictured myself getting dressed up for a dinner date and putting it over my wrist before skipping out the door. Though I worked very hard to keep Matt from being the imaginary dinner date.
8
On the way home, Rosa was effusive. “I can’t believe Mrs. Nettles found all of that!”
“I’m glad we were able to give her a few sales,” I added. “She’s very sweet.”
“She is that,” Rosa agreed. “She’s also quite well off.”
“Really?” I was surprised.
“She has millions. She runs the shop because she loves it. Really, she should have charged me far more than she did, but she likes the treasure hunt more than the sale.”
I mulled that over for a minute.
Rosa interrupted my thoughts suddenly. “Have you ever thought about having Gus live in a group home?”
It was as though someone had dragged the needle from a record. What had been a relaxed conversation turned difficult instantaneously. “Why do you ask that?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“I was just wondering. Having the care of your brother has to be exhausting at times.”
I tried to calm down. This was one of those things people asked that instantly got my dander up. It made me feel as though they were thinking that Gus was far too much trouble. I never wanted him to think that he was somehow keeping me from a better life. Even though most people asked out of his hearing, I still didn’t like it.
Rosa looked over quickly and tried to guess why I was silent. “Did I say something wrong?”<
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And because this was my dear aunt, I took a deep breath and tried to explain.
“You aren’t the first person to ask me that. In fact, people ask all the time. Everyone seems to think that Gus belongs in a group home rather than living with someone who loves him. I know it isn’t what you mean but I can’t help thinking that you doubt my ability to care for him when you ask that.”
“Oh, no, I don’t mean to suggest that there’s anything lacking in the way you care for Gus,” Rosa hurried to reassure me. “In fact, just the opposite. I think you take excellent care of him and I worry that it’s taking a toll on your life.”
It was nice to hear, even though I suspected as much. I responded, “But what is better in life than sacrificially caring for the people you love? Yes, it’s hard. I would have liked to go to college. I would like to date and marry and one day have kids. Caring for Gus makes those things more complicated. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth doing.”
Rosa reached a hand over and gave my forearm a squeeze. “I’m so proud of you, Corinne. You’ve stepped up and sacrificed so much. I suppose I asked about a group home because I worry that you’re somehow suffering unfairly. I was wondering if a change of environment might benefit both Gus and you.”
“I don’t know,” I admitted grudgingly. “I don’t know a lot about what local group homes look like. But my brother is doing really well right now, and I’m doing well, too. I don’t want to rock the boat.”
“I’m proud of you. If you ever feel that a change of circumstances might be beneficial, please know I’ll be here for you. I’d be glad to help however I can.”
I appreciated her kindness. She dropped me off at Gate House, and I waved good-bye before heading inside. Once I was on my own, though, I reflected on what she’d said. Would Gus do better in a group home? Instantly, I recoiled from the idea. It would feel like quitting. It would be admitting I couldn’t handle things. Wouldn’t it?
Wait a second. Why was my mind only running to my needs? It wasn’t okay for me to refuse to consider another living situation simply because I didn’t want to look like I was giving up. What if there was a different situation that would be better for Gus? I had to admit, it was really nice to have had the afternoon to myself. Life on my own would definitely have some advantages. But wasn’t that selfish?
I decided that I was going around in circles and pushed it from my head. It was all hypothetical anyway. I could pull it out and ruminate on it some other day. Gus would be home soon, and I needed to clean the bathroom.
The door opened while I was scrubbing the tub, and Gus called a greeting. I was relieved to see that Matt hadn’t followed him into the house.
“Hi! How was your day? Did you have fun?” I asked, searching for any sign of trouble.
Gus took off his coat and shoes and replied, “I had a good time.”
“Great!” I said a little too brightly. “Did you end up having pizza for lunch?”
“Yup. I’m hungry. Do we have anything to eat?”
Gus went past me and into the kitchen, where he began to rummage. Well, he hadn’t given me lots of details but it was plain that he’d enjoyed himself. I could always grill Matt later.
In fact, I got a chance to talk to him the very next day at church. Rosemarie got a ride with Ty and Mae was out of town, so I drove. Once inside the cavernous building, I felt a little overwhelmed by all the people talking and calling out to each other. Big crowds often made me feel excluded. But my brother suddenly perked up and waved merrily at someone. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw Matt towering above the people around him, easily parting the mob.
“Hi, Matt!” greeted Gus. “Want to sit with us?”
“Sure,” Matt replied easily. “Are you ready to go in?”
The two men turned and headed into the sanctuary. I scowled and followed them. I wasn’t sure what had me bent out of shape, but I was. Matt chose a row of seats and somehow ended up between me and Gus when we sat down.
“Good morning, Corinne,” he said quietly in my ear.
“Hi,” I replied shortly.
Matt’s mouth twitched, but Gus was talking to him on the other side, and I was soon left to stew.
The service was as good as it had been the previous week. I felt myself mellowing as time passed. When the last song was sung and the final announcement given, the lights came up and I heard Gus asking Matt to come over to our house that afternoon.
“Gus!” I reproved him. “What are you and Matt going to do? You played video games all day yesterday. You do not need a repeat so soon.”
You could almost see the wheels spinning in Gus’s mind, trying to find a way to entice his new friend.
“Actually, I have an idea of what the three of us could do,” Matt interjected. “I have plans with my family for lunch, but I could come and pick you both up by one. What do you think?”
“Okay!” Gus replied eagerly.
“What do you have in mind?” I wasn’t as ready to blindly follow Matt.
He turned his cool gray eyes on me, and I had to resist the urge to give in and agree to whatever he suggested.
“It’ll be fun, I promise. Wear old clothes.” And before I could protest, Matt disappeared into the crowd.
Gus was thrilled. He hardly listened to the lecture I gave him on the way home and kept trying to guess what it was that we would spend the afternoon doing with his new best friend. I didn’t care what he had planned. I was very unhappy with Matthew Donovan.
Still, I wasn’t about to let my brother go off with him alone. At one o’clock, we were both dressed in our oldest jeans and sneakers and layered in warm outerwear, just in case we needed it. Matt’s battered SUV pulled up, and we went outside. Gus insisted I up front and I found myself too close to Matt for comfort.
“Hi, guys. Did you have a good lunch?” he asked and shifted his truck into reverse.
Matt and Gus carried on an unwavering conversation as we drove. I sat in mildly grumpy silence, trying not to notice that Matt still smelled like coffee beans. Because I wasn’t engaged in the conversation, I realized quickly that we were headed toward the Triple Star Ranch. And, sure enough, Matt pulled in to the ranch and drove right up to the horse barn.
We climbed out of the car. Matt came around, hands in his pockets.
“So, this is what I thought we could do today. Have either of you ever ridden a horse?” He looked between us.
I bit my lip. I’d ridden occasionally, but I knew Gus never had. Horses were big and being up on one sometimes felt like you were very high off the ground. It was difficult to imagine my brother enjoying himself. Something pricked in my memory. Had Gus and I talked about horseback riding recently?
“I have,” I finally remembered to answer. “I don’t think Gus has.”
My brother was shaking his head, finally silent. I shot a meaningful look at Matt, who smiled gently.
“Let’s go in the barn and get close to the horses while they’re in their stalls. I’ll show you my horse. If you don’t want to go for a ride after that, it’s okay with me. I think you’ll both really like meeting the horses, though.”
Yes, but what if Gus thought he had to ride in order to impress Matt? He wasn’t particularly coordinated, and that was a long way to fall. Riding might have seemed a lot more fun when Gus wasn’t within arms’ reach of an actual horse.
Still, he followed Matt gamely into the barn. It was warm and full of pungent smells, some nice and some less nice. Gus wrinkled his nose but kept silent.
“Okay, this is Brownie,” Matt said and led us to a chestnut-colored horse with a white patch on his nose. “Brownie is one of our oldest horses. He’s great with kids because he doesn’t get too excited if there’s a lot of noise. Here, Gus, pet his nose. It’s really soft.”
Reaching out a shaky hand, Gus licked his lips and stepped a little closer. When his fingers made contact with Brownie’s velvety muzzle, he let out a soft giggle and stepped even closer so he could run his
hand over more of the horse’s nose.
Matt shot a triumphant smile at me, which I returned. It was wonderful to see Gus trying something new. We were introduced to all the horses in the barn, including Matt’s personal gelding, Tim.
“Tim? You named your horse Tim?” I laughed when he introduced us.
He looked pleased with my reaction and shrugged. “I know, it’s not a really super name or anything. But I was twelve when I got him, and it seemed to annoy Luke.”
Tom Jerrett, Jill’s sort-of boyfriend, appeared and offered to saddle horses for me and Gus to ride. Gus agreed, though he was clearly apprehensive. Then we sat back and watched Tom and Matt saddle three horses. It was impressive to see them easily toting and lifting the heavy saddles, though I told myself sternly not to stare at Matt’s biceps. Before long, he was adjusting the stirrups and helping me climb up onto Ruby while Tom brought over a step and talked Gus through how to mount Brownie. As soon as he was up in the saddle, Gus gave a little cry of fear, and Tom promised to stay with him.
Matt looked as though he belonged in the saddle. I never would have pictured him as a cowboy when he was sitting in his office discussing how to roast coffee beans. But now I had to admit that he fit the part very well. All he needed was to exchange his baseball cap for a Stetson, and he could be in a Western movie poster.
We moved out in a line toward the corral, where we rode around and around. Gus slowly relaxed and began to laugh with delight. Matt pulled up next to me as Tom eventually walked ahead, leading Brownie.
“Gus is doing great. I was hoping he’d enjoy himself,” Matt said.
“I had my doubts, but you were right. Thanks for bringing us here.”
He gave me a piercing look. “What about you, Corinne? Are you having fun?”
“I am,” I admitted. I was touched he’d asked. “I’ve never had many opportunities to ride horses. I always enjoy it when I get the chance, though.”