by Emma Woods
“We’ll just have to make sure to get the two of you out here more often,” Matt promised.
And to my surprise, I found myself smiling back and saying, “That sounds great!”
9
Perhaps I was being foolishly optimistic, but by the time we got home from horseback riding at the ranch, I dialed my mother with far more enthusiasm than usual. Gus was practically singing to himself in the shower, and I sank into the small armchair in my bedroom, tired but happy.
“Corinne? Is that you?” rasped my mother.
Instantly, I was irritated. Of course it was me. Mom had voice ID on her phone. “Yes, it’s me, Mom,” I answered with a voice full of long suffering. “How are you today?”
“Fine,” she sighed dramatically. “I’ve had a terrible headache all week, and your father seems to think that I’m malingering. I wish I was making this up! I’d love to be able to get out of bed and do all the things I can’t anymore. It’s not my fault I have this particular affliction.”
I leaned forward and rested my head in my free hand. All the fun and laughter of the afternoon seemed very far in the past all of a sudden. Mom went on for another ten minutes listing her woes. Whenever she did this, I bounced between annoyance and relief. I was, of course, annoyed that my own mother was incapable of showing any interest in our lives. Then I would be relieved that I didn’t have to talk about our lives and listen to Mom harp on about everything we were doing wrong.
“So, I’m dying to hear about how things went with Gus at the babysitter’s. I’m surprised you haven’t said anything yet,” Mom chided me.
I pressed my lips together for a moment, gathering my thoughts. Mom wasn’t going to like the idea of Gus working. I sat back up and took a steadying breath for diving in. “Things don’t seem to be working out with Mrs. Gunn. I think she’s a bit too old to keep up with Gus.” I was giving the truth only a glancing blow. Still, I’d learned long ago to tie up any difficulty with a shiny ribbon and move on quickly before Mom could get her hooks in it and somehow turn herself into the victim.
“The good news is that Gus has a job at a local coffee shop.” I went on and on for some time about how great the place was and how well Gus was doing. “The two owners, Emily and Matt, are wonderful with Gus. They have given him real responsibilities without overwhelming him. He’s so proud of himself, Mom!”
Silence filled the space between us. Finally, my mother said, “Well, I knew it wouldn’t work out with that woman. I just had a feeling about it. I really have a bit of a sixth sense about these things. Did I ever tell you about the time I just knew that your father had broken his arm?”
And she was off and running. I let out an inaudible sigh of relief and tuned Mom out as she retold the story for at least the five hundredth time. She hadn’t clapped me on the back or cheered Gus on. Still, Mom hadn’t criticized us or come up with a list of reasons why her baby had to quit his job on the spot.
By the time our allotted hour was almost up, Mom dropped a bomb. “We’ll be seeing you in two weeks, won’t we?”
“In two weeks?” I floundered. “Why would we be seeing you in two weeks?”
“Honestly, Corinne, sometimes I think you tune the entire world out. Rosa is hosting Thanksgiving for your father’s side of the family. Dad and I think it would be a great opportunity to see Gus and make sure he’s settled in well up there.”
I groaned inwardly. Here I’d been picturing a quiet Thanksgiving together with Aunt Rosa, and maybe a few of the Bumblebee girls. We’d make a small dinner and try some new quirky dishes from around the world or something. It would be low-key and quiet. Maybe we’d play a board game or watch a movie in the afternoon.
If my dad’s side of the family was coming, we were in for a completely different experience. Dad was the oldest of five, and all but Rosa were married with kids and grandkids of their own. I had eight cousins, four of whom were married. There were nine kids between them. There was no guarantee that all of them would be able to come. However, just about any combination of family members meant that I was going to be asked half a dozen times why I wasn’t already married and be given far more advice on how to care for Gus than I could ever need.
I lifted up a silent, desperate prayer that my brothers would not be in attendance. There were several more family members I’d like to avoid, but my brothers were the worst offenders.
“Oh?” I said to my mom. “Do you know who’s coming yet?”
“No one tells me anything,” Mom complained. “I stopped expecting your aunts to reach out to me unless it suits them. Maybe Rosa knows who’s coming, but I certainly don’t.”
I bit my lip, mentally kicking myself. This was one of the sore spots that I typically tried to avoid with my mother. “Are Charlie or Quinn going to make it?” I specified.
“I know they’re trying to come. They’re both so busy with work. It’s not like they can drop everything and fly to Wyoming whenever they want. Charlie is really trying to get Andi and the girls there. I keep telling him that if they can’t make it, everyone will understand. He’s just so family-oriented.” Mom’s tone of voice completely changed when discussing my older brothers. She went on for another few minutes touting their virtues.
I rubbed my temples. I was getting a headache.
“Now, Corinne, before I forget, let me make sure to give you some helpful advice.” And she was off. No one gave advice like my mother. She knew best about everything and woe to me if I didn’t follow her every instruction. No wonder she was so often disappointed in me; I seemed to be incapable of forcing myself to pay attention when she got in her bossy mode.
“You’re going to need to keep an eye on Rosa. She has a tendency to try and make the most horrible foreign dishes. If there aren’t regular mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, green bean casserole, and that fruit salad with the Cool Whip, your father is going to be impossible to live with. So, whatever Rosa plans for the menu, you make sure your father has his favorites.
“And make sure that you keep your Uncle Joseph and Aunt Candace away from each other at the dinner table. Those two bicker about everything. If you sit them too close together, they’ll have a big spat that will ruin Thanksgiving.
“Your father and I are going to stay in town. I need you to visit a few of the local hotels and such and let me know which ones will work best for us. We really should have two separate rooms, but I don’t want the whole family to know. Figure out where everyone else is staying and then book us somewhere else, unless they’re all staying at the best place in town. Then we’ll need to share a room, but it’ll be very trying for me.”
Mom went on and on with her demands. I finally had to cut her off before I burst into tears. When I put the phone down, my watery eyes spilled over and trickled down my cheeks. I buried my head in my arms. I could never stand up under my mother’s expectations for me. Never. She constantly set me up for failure. Next week had changed from a pleasant respite from work to a miserable obstacle course I was doomed to fail and still had to endure.
Gus was out of the shower and playing video games in the living room when I dried my face and went to check on him.
“I’m going up to the big house to talk to Rosa,” I said, suddenly inspired by the idea. “Can you come up for supper in a half-hour?”
Gus assured me with much rolling of his eyes that of course he could do this. I retrieved my coat and pulled on my boots and hurried into the cool outside gladly. Normally, my brother’s reaction would have made me smile. But after talking with Mom, it felt like one more person I was disappointing.
The house was quiet, and I went in search of my aunt. She was in her room and answered my knock with an invitation to come in. I entered and felt instantly soothed. Rosa’s fabulous taste in decor was evident all over the house, but here in her room, it was unmatched.
“Come and have a seat,” she offered from her spot in her round sitting nook.
There was a three-story turret that reached from the
study on the first floor, up through Mae’s room in the third floor. The round addition had windows on four sides and was quite possibly the most perfect reading spot I’d ever seen. Rosa had a delicate desk, a chaise lounge, and blanket chest set about, ready for resting or working or whatever lovely thoughts one might have in this adorable part of the house.
She was sitting at her desk and gestured for me to take the chaise lounge. I sat on the side, not putting my feet up this time, however tempting it might have been.
“I think you’re carrying quite a heavy load at the moment,” she observed.
I nodded and bit my lip, tears springing to my eyes at her gentle words. I spilled both my tears and the story of my phone call with my mom.
“Oh, Corinne,” Rosa sighed as I came to a halt. She got up and came to sit next to me, taking my hand in hers. “I’m so sorry your mother has heaped so much on your plate. I assure you, I don’t expect you to have to do any of the things she’s said.”
I sniffled in a rather unladylike way. “But that’s the worst part of it. Of course I don’t have to do any of those things, not according to any sane person, but they are vital for my mom. If I don’t come through on any of them, she’ll never let me forget it. My choices are to kill myself over the next few days trying to get everything in perfect order so that she doesn’t say anything mean, or else not get them right and be scolded.”
Rosa’s eyes were full of regret. “I’m not going to criticize your mother. She has a lot going on that I don’t fully understand. And I’m not going to tell you what to do or not do. I am going to offer you one more piece of advice, which you can completely disregard and I won’t be upset.”
“Are you sure you won’t be?” I asked dryly.
She smiled a little half-smile. “Nope, not a bit. I don’t have to walk in your shoes and deal with your mom the way you do. If you decide to go all-out and meet all her demands, I’ll understand and respect you for choosing to honor her in that way.”
I nodded wearily. “All right. What’s your advice?”
“Do what you can reasonably do, and let the rest go.”
Her words felt like a gentle hand smoothing my hair back while I was upset.
“That’s a really lovely idea,” I admitted.
“Corinne, I’m always proud of the way that you honor your mother. You call her and listen to her, and I know that isn’t easy. A lot of women wouldn’t faithfully keep that up. But I don’t think that meeting all of your mother’s demands is required for being a good daughter, no matter what your mom feels to the contrary. You aren’t responsible for her every happiness.” Rosa let that sink in for a moment before continuing. “At the end of our lives, we have to stand before God and answer for our own actions and no one else’s. I encourage you to carefully consider what you can do to love and support your mother without letting her overwhelm you. You don’t have unlimited time or energy. Do what you can reasonably do, and let go of the rest.”
10
Mom kept texting me over the next few days with further instructions. I took my aunt’s advice and carefully considered each item. If it was something I could reasonably do, I would get clarification from Mom and take care of whatever it was for her. Since Rosa and I were handling the cooking, I was able to make sure that we had traditional Thanksgiving food on the menu for Dad. However, I didn’t even try to curb Rosa’s plans to make Thai rice and a spicy curry.
The result was that I got halfway through the week without losing my mind. I parked and walked into the Beanery on Wednesday thanking God for how well things were going. Mom hadn’t been too happy when I told her I’d booked her into a local bed and breakfast without checking at every other hotel in town first. I knew she and Dad would like this place, and that was good enough for me. A bonus was that the couple only had two rooms available, and I was able to book them both. My parents could sleep separately and not have to worry about any other relatives finding out.
The warmth and delicious smells embraced me as I stepped inside. I was really coming to love this coffee shop. Never mind that I had yet to drink any of the coffee, I now associated this place with caring and consideration. Today, Gus was using a push broom to sweep the floor. He was maneuvering it like a pro and only paused to give me a quick wave before continuing with his task.
Matt was manning the counter. It seemed like he never stopped moving when he was at work. If he wasn’t preparing drinks and taking payments, he was doing paperwork or roasting beans or dealing with fresh inventory.
He looked up and smiled broadly at me, his gray eyes lighting up. It made my heart swell a little, and I was glad I’d touched up my makeup before leaving the ranch.
“I was hoping to see you today,” he greeted me when I drew near the counter.
“Oh?” I said coyly.
His smile turned mischievous. “Although, you might not be so glad you ran into me.”
I cocked an eyebrow.
Matt laughed. “The church’s junior high group is doing a traveling slumber party this Friday night. They spend an hour or two at one place and then go to another place. I think they have a bowling alley, pizza place, and movie theater on their agenda.”
“I’m afraid of what you’re about to ask,” I said nervously.
“It’s not as bad as all that,” he amended. “The kids are coming here from eleven until one o’clock in the morning. We’re going to have hot chocolate and board games set up. They’ll have chaperones with them, but we could use some extra hands here. Gus has already volunteered to help, and I was hoping you’d come along.”
“Junior high kids?” My lip curled. “I remember junior high. It wasn’t my best time of life.”
He chuckled. “I don’t think it’s many people’s best time of life. But that’s part of the reason why you’d be a great volunteer. The girls could use the guidance of a smart, beautiful, kind woman like you.”
My cheeks burned at his compliments. To hide my embarrassment, I teased, “You’re just trying to butter me up so I’ll help out.”
Matt didn’t bother to respond to that. His eyes grew intense, and I knew he’d meant what he’d said. My heart was pounding in my chest and I didn’t know what to say. Matt was unlike any man I’d ever met.
“Will you help out?” he asked quietly.
“Sure,” I heard myself saying. Then I shook my head and came out of the trance he’d put me in with his honesty and muscles and beautiful eyes. Had I just agreed to spending my Friday night hanging out with preteens? I frowned, but Matt just grinned at me.
“Great! If you can be here around ten, you can help us set everything up.”
I gathered Gus and led the way out to the car, mildly bent out of shape. My feelings for Matt were certainly growing more complicated all the time.
“Corinne?” My brother had to say my name twice before I tore my eyes from the road.
“Sorry. What’s up?”
“I want to live in my own apartment,” he said.
I nearly steered the car into the ditch. “What?”
“I want to live in my own apartment. Like Matt does.”
I took a deep breath and tried to calm the instant cyclone of arguments that had sprung up in my head. Carefully, I said, “Living alone can be pretty lonely. And it’s a lot of work. You are responsible for cooking, cleaning, laundry, and everything. It’s expensive, too.”
Gus sighed heavily. “I knew you’d say no.”
“I didn’t say no. I said it’s a lot of work and a lot of money.”
“That’s the same thing,” he grumbled. “I have a job, Corinne.”
Memories of my conversation with Rosa about Gus living in a group home sprang to mind. Maybe I was the only person who felt that my brother needed to stay with me. Maybe he really was able to care for himself if I just let him try. He was an adult and deserved to be treated like one.
“I think that you might be able to live on your own someday,” I admitted. “Right now, though, you have some things
you need to learn how to do first.”
“Like what? I already know how to cook.”
I hid a smile. “You know how to make sandwiches and cereal. Cooking is a little more involved than that. You’d probably get tired of peanut butter and jelly every night for supper.”
“I can make toast, too,” Gus argued.
“Even so, I think you can learn to do a lot more in the kitchen. If you are going to live by yourself, I need to know that you are eating healthy meals and not just junk food.” I glanced at him and saw that he was listening carefully. “You also will have to learn how to do your own laundry, change your sheets, and keep your place clean.”
“I can do all of that if you teach me.”
I was conflicted. There was a part of me that so wanted Gus to be a successful adult living in his own little place and managing his life well. But another part of me knew that this was going to be hard. Maybe too hard. I didn’t want him alone and afraid when a thunderstorm came through or there was a loud noise outside in the middle of the night. He was a grown man in many ways, and also still a child in so many others.
“Okay, let’s start by giving you some more chores around the house. You can be in charge of the dishwasher for now. I’ll show you how to load it and run it. You can put the dishes in when they’re dirty and put them back when they’re clean. And I’m going to teach you how to cook some things like scrambled eggs, macaroni and cheese, and baked potatoes. You’re going to help me clean the house on Saturdays instead of playing video games while I do everything.”
His eyes grew wide at that, and I was glad to see that he was taking this seriously. If he ever did live alone, he needed to be able to do more than whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. I wasn’t convinced he was ever going to actually live alone. Still, this would be a good dose of reality for both of us. And who knows? Maybe he would flourish with more responsibility.