The Mammoth Book of Weird News (Mammoth Books)

by Geoff Tibballs

  RACING PIGEON FLlES 500 MILES AND IS EATEN BY CAT

  After beating 1,000 rivals in a gruelling 500-mile race, Percy the racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in his loft in Sheffield, South Yorkshire . . . and was promptly eaten by the neighbourhood cat. To add insult to injury, the 90-minute delay in finding his remains and handing his identification tag to the judges relegated Percy from first to third place.

  SUMO WRESTLER FORFEITS MATCH OVER EXPOSED MANHOOD

  Japanese Sumo wrestler Asanokiri lost a match and his dignity after his loin cloth fell off, exposing his manhood on national television. He automatically forfeited the 2000 bout under an obscure rule that penalizes a wrestler for allowing his privates to be exposed by not wrapping his mawashi belt tightly enough. The mawashi belts are about 25 feet long and are wrapped tightly several times around the wrestlers’ massive bodies. Asanokiri had been involved in a closely-fought contest with Chiyohakuho but it was stopped immediately when a Sumo elder sitting ringside spotted the offending member and invoked the exposure rule. It was the first time since the rule was introduced in 1917 that a wrestler had lost a match in that way. A shame-faced Asanokiri said afterwards: “I tied my mawashi the way I always do, but today it just came loose.”

  JOCKEYS DODGE FLYING UMBRELLA

  Jockeys in a 2006 race at Ellis Park, Kentucky, had to steer their mounts to avoid a large flying umbrella which blew across the course after being lifted off a picnic table in strong winds.

  POLICE GAS THEMSELVES WHILE QUELLING RIOT

  Trying to break up a fracas at the end of a soccer match in Nairobi, Kenya, in 1987 between Gor Mahia and AFC Leopards, police officers were overcome by their own tear gas, as a result of which they were unable to arrest anyone.

  CATCHER INJURES SHOULDER IN PILLOW MANOEUVRE

  Detroit Tigers baseball catcher Brandon Inge had to be rested from the team in 2008 after injuring his shoulder while pushing a pillow under the head of his sleeping three-year-old son.

  HOCKEY STREAKER KNOCKS HIMSELF OUT COLD

  Wearing nothing but a pair of red socks, 21-year-old student Tim Hurlbut climbed over the glass at a 2002 hockey game between Calgary Flames and visitors Boston Bruins and prepared to streak across the ice to win a $200 bet. Unfortunately his landing was less than perfect, as a result of which he fell backward, hit the back of his head on the ice and knocked himself out. The game was delayed for six minutes while staff treated the unconscious streaker and eventually carted him off on a stretcher.

  GOLFER COMPLETES ROUND IN ONE SHOT

  Eighteen-handicap golfer Neville Rowlandson claimed to have completed a round in just one stroke after his wayward tee shot at the first dropped into the 18th hole. Playing in a monthly competition at Felixstowe Golf Club, Suffolk, in 1996, the 56-year-old lorry driver saw his drive at the par-four opening hole hit a yellow wooden marker sign ten yards in front of the tee, ricochet away at an angle and drop into the hole on the adjacent 18th green. He said afterwards: “I wanted to draw the ball down the right-hand side of the fairway with my new driver. I was a bit upset when it hit the marker.”

  DEATH BOOSTS BOXER’S RANKING

  Darrin Morris of Detroit moved up from 11thto fifth in the World Boxing Organization’s super-middleweight division in 2001 – despite having been dead for four months. His last fight was in July 1999.

  SHORT-SIGHTED MARATHON RUNNERS LOSE THEIR WAY

  Two veteran runners competing in a 50-mile circular race around Rotherham, Yorkshire, in 2002 made an unscheduled 20-mile detour into Nottinghamshire because they forgot their glasses. Les Huxley, 57, and Barry Bedford, 61, couldn’t read the route map or see the race signposts, as a result of which they got lost for 18 hours. With the other 140 runners long finished and asleep in bed, the hapless duo eventually crossed the line at 1.30 a.m. – but only after phoning the race organizer to come and get them.

  SOCCER PLAYER KILLS PIGEON WITH BALL

  Playing for Argentine club San Lorenzo against Tigre in 2008, Gastón Aguirre was left mortified after his shot struck a pigeon and killed it. Despite his side’s 2-1 victory, the 27-year-old central defender was full of remorse after accidentally ending the life of one of the birds that was hunting for seed on the pitch. “I kicked the ball and the poor pigeon,” he said afterwards, adding: “Now I will be remembered as the pigeon killer.”

  DEAD JOCKEY WINS RACE

  Frank Hayes is almost certainly the only jockey in history to ride a winner while dead. In 1923, Hayes was a 35-year-old stable lad who pleaded with the owner of a horse named Sweet Kiss to let him ride the confirmed loser in a steeplechase at Belmont Park, New York. The owner relented and with the 20-1 outsider in a clear lead ten yards from the finish, Hayes became so excited that he suffered a heart attack. He managed to stay on the horse as it passed the winning post but when friends and connections rushed over to congratulate him, they found him slumped forward, dead in the saddle. After that, no other jockey wanted to ride Sweet Kiss.

  MANAGER SACKED AFTER TEN MINUTES

  Leroy Rosenior was appointed manager of struggling English soccer club Torquay United in 2007 – and then sacked ten minutes later. The Devon club unveiled him at a press conference which finished at 3.30 p.m. on 21 May and at 3.40 p.m. he was told that the club had been sold to a consortium and that he was out of a job. Rosenior commented: “For it to happen so soon after I finished the press conference was a bit of a shock. Obviously they thought I had done a fantastic job in those ten minutes and let me go.”

  MEDAL HOPES CRUSHED BY GARBAGE MEN

  Having arrived in Canada to prepare for the 1976 Montreal Olympics, the Czech cycling team’s medal hopes suffered a setback when all their wheels and spare tyres were inadvertently picked up by garbage collectors and crushed.

  RALLY DRIVER CRASHES NEAR FINISH

  After driving 3,000 miles across Europe in the 2000 Gumball Rally, Germany’s Georg Etterer crashed his Mercedes just 100 yards from the finish in Hampshire because he momentarily forgot that the English drive on the left-hand side of the road.

  PLAYER STABS HIMSELF WHILE OPENING DVD

  San Diego Padres’ baseball player Adam Eaton was rushed to hospital in 2001 after accidentally stabbing himself in the stomach with a knife while trying to unwrap a DVD. Even Eaton described his action as “boneheaded”.

  SOCCER FAN IN GORILLA SUIT IS UNMASKED

  A teenage Middlesbrough Football Club fan decided to get round a court curfew by disguising himself in a gorilla suit for a 1992 League Cup replay against Peterborough United. But when his team scored the only goal of the game, he forgot himself, threw the gorilla head into the air in celebration and was subsequently recognized by a police officer watching highlights of the game on TV at home later that evening.

  JOCKEY HIDES MOUNT IN THE FOG

  Jockey Sylvester Carmouche was banned from riding in Louisiana for ten years after being found guilty of hiding in dense fog to win a mile race at Delta Downs in 1990. Riding the 23-1 outsider Landing Officer, Carmouche bolted home by 24 lengths but it transpired that he had dropped his horse out of the race shortly after the start, hidden in thick fog, and then rejoined the pack as they completed the circuit of the oval track. Suspicions were aroused when two jockeys in the race reported that no horse passed them at any time, to which Carmouche replied brazenly: “They never noticed me.”

  GOLFER IS KNOCKED OUT BY HIS OWN BACKSWING

  Halfway through his backswing while driving off at the 17th hole at Lyme Regis Golf Club, Dorset, 69-year-old Derek Gatley received a nasty blow when the steel shaft of his club snapped, hit him on the back of the head and knocked him out cold. When he came round, Mr Gatley admitted: “It was the first thing I had hit all day.”

  WOMAN REFEREE ALLOWS BALL-BOY’S GOAL

  A female referee in Brazil was suspended in 2006 after allowing a vital last-minute goal that was tapped into the net by a ball-boy. His side trailing 0-1 to visitors Atletico Sorocaba, a Santacruzense player tried a speculative shot in th
e 89th minute. The ball drifted harmlessly wide but then the ball boy brought it back onto the pitch and instead of returning it to the goalkeeper, he tapped it over the line and into the net. Referee Silvia Regina de Oliveira awarded the goal despite furious Sorocaba protests and the 1-1 result stood. She said later that she had based her decision on the word of her linesman, adding ruefully: “I should have trusted my own vision.”

  GREYHOUND RESPONDS TO OWNER’S CHEERING

  A family who went to cheer on their pet greyhound in a race in Ireland in the early 1980s may have been better advised to stay away. For as the dog rounded the final bend, right in touch with the leaders, it recognized the voices of encouragement coming from the side of the track, whereupon it pulled itself up and, tail wagging, trotted over to the fence to greet its owners.

  PLAYER LOSES FINGER IN GOAL CELEBRATION

  Playing in the Swiss Soccer League in 2004, Servette midfielder Paulo Diogo scored a goal against Schaffhausen and promptly jumped into the crowd to celebrate. In doing so, however, he caught his wedding ring on a fence and tore off the top half of his finger. He was then booked by the referee for excessive celebration.

  SOCCER STREAKER STRIPS OFF IN COURT

  A 60-year-old German man, who was appealing against a conviction for running onto the pitch naked during a girls’ soccer match and striking a range of “body builder poses”, didn’t help his case when he stripped off again in court. A spokesman for the court in Duisburg said: “It appears he sees it as art and views himself as a living work of art.”

  MORE HOOKERS THAN USUALON GOLF COURSE

  Six people were arrested at a golf tournament in California after police discovered that tents set up around the course were occupied by prostitutes and that the players were allowed to visit them during their round.

  TRAINER KNOCKS HIMSELF OUT WITH CHLOROFORM

  During the 1930 Soccer World Cup semi-final between Argentina and the United States, the American team trainer, Jock Coll, ran on to the pitch to treat an injured player. Still fuming over a disputed Argentine goal, Coll threw down his medical bag in a temper tantrum, but in doing so he broke a bottle of chloroform, accidentally anaesthetized himself and had to be carried off by his own team.

  RUGBY PLAYER FINDS TOOTH STUCK IN HEAD

  An Australian Rugby League player competed for more than three months with an opponent’s tooth buried in his head. Ben Czislowski, a prop forward with Brisbane team Wynnum, was involved in a violent clash of heads with Tweed Heads forward Matt Austin in early April 2007, a collision that left Czislowski needing stitches above his left eye and saw Austin lose several teeth and also suffer a broken jaw. In July, Czislowski complained of an eye infection and shooting pains – and a doctor discovered one of Austin’s teeth embedded in the player’s skull.

  REFEREE SENDS HIMSELF OFF

  English soccer referee Melvin Sylvester sent himself off after losing his temper and attacking a player who had jostled him. The 42-year-old was refereeing a 1998 Andover and District Sunday League match between Southampton Arms and Hurstbourne Tarrant British Legion when a player pushed him from behind and swore at him. Sylvester responded by punching the player several times, giving him a black eye, which required treatment from the trainer. After the other players had intervened to calm him down, Sylvester pulled out his red card and sent himself off, handing over control of the game to a spectator. He was subsequently fined and banned for six weeks by the Hampshire Football Association.

  FANS THROW PIG’S HEAD AT PORTUGUESE INTERNATIONAL

  In 2002 former Barcelona soccer star Luis Figo returned to the city’s Nou Camp Stadium as a player with their bitter rivals Real Madrid. As the Portuguese international went to take a corner, angry Barcelona fans pelted him with all manner of objects including a pig’s head.

  FISHERMEN CATCH NOTHING BUT A COLD

  The National Ambulance Servicemen’s Angling Championships, staged at Kidderminster in 1972, proved something of a disappointment. After spending five hours on a canal side, pitting their wits man against fish, the 200 paramedics had not managed to catch a single fish. It was only then that a passer-by casually informed them that all the fish had been moved to other waters three weeks earlier.

  SVEN LOOKALIKE BAFFLES MEXICANS

  Mexican soccer officials and newspaper reporters were fooled by an English actor posing as Swedish manager Sven-Goran Eriksson. Derek Williams, who has earned his living as a Sven lookalike since the Swede’s colourful reign as England manager, travelled in 2008 to Mexico, where Eriksson had recently taken over as national coach. Wearing Eriksson’s trademark spectacles and with a pair of leggy brunettes on each arm, Williams settled into the dugout at the Estadio Universitario in Mexico City and started talking tactics with Ricardo Ferreti, the Brazilian manager of the Pumas, a championship winning team. “He explained to me that he was looking at players for his first squad selection for Mexico,” said Ferreti, “and I believed him.” The fake Sven then went on to conduct an impromptu press conference in the car park with reporters. After those present finally realized they had been duped, Ferreti said: “To tell the truth, I liked the joke.” The national federation was less amused, however, and warned all clubs in the country’s top league that there was a Sven impostor on the loose. Denouncing Williams for “irresponsibly exploiting his likeness to the national coach,” it warned clubs “not to let yourselves be surprised by this individual”.

  GOLFER HAS TO BE RESCUED FROM BUNKER

  Playing at Rose Bay, New South Wales, 14-stone golfer D.J. Bayly-MacArthur was dismayed to see his ball land in a bunker. However that was only the start of his problems because heavy rain had turned the sand in the bunker to quicksand so that when the burly MacArthur set foot in the trap, he found himself sinking fast. The sand was up to his armpits before his cries for help brought a timely rescue.

  DEAD MAN PICKS GRAND NATIONAl WINNER

  A family from Middlesbrough won £20,000 ($30,000) on the 2009 Grand National – thanks to a dead gambler’s last bet. Shortly before his death, Danny Shea persuaded his wife Pat to put £200 on 100-1 outsider Mon Mome. She thought it was a waste of money but humoured him in his dying days by placing the bet. On her way to visit his grave to thank him for the winning tip, she said: “We could not believe it. He was generally pretty useless at picking winners.”

  TEAM’S RUDE SHIRTS ARE BANNED

  An Essex soccer team was banned from taking the field with shirts bearing the slogan “The Referee’s a W*nker”. Players at Stambridge United got the strip in 2006 in a sponsorship deal with Chris Turner, author of a book of football chants. Although a red card was discreetly placed over the “a” in the last word, the Baliston Essex Olympian League deemed the shirts offensive.

  BASEBALL PLAYER INJURED WHILE EATING DONUT

  Baseball player Kevin Mitchell’s catalogue of injuries includes straining a ribcage muscle while vomiting, and showing up late for spring training following emergency dental work needed after eating a chocolate donut. While playing for Cincinnati Reds in 1994 he asked the trainer for eyewash but someone had put rubbing alcohol in the eyewash bottle, leaving Mitchell with burns on his eye. His teammate Hal Morris commented wryly: “It’s always Kevin...”

  GOLFERS LET PARACHUTIST PLAY THROUGH

  Golfers at a course in Steinbach, Manitoba, were obliged to let a parachutist play through. Play was held up for 25 minutes after the female skydiver from Winnipeg dropped unexpectedly from the sky and landed on the 10th fairway. She had missed her intended landing site – a mile away – because her main chute had failed.

  JOCKEY WINS FIRST RACE AFTER 28 YEARS

  In 2008, the man unkindly dubbed “British horse racing’s worst jockey” finally won his first race – after 28 years of trying. Famed for usually coming last, 44-year-old amateur Anthony Knott stunned the racing world by riding the 7-1 shot Wise Men Say to victory at Wincanton. But even then Knott, whose previous best finish was fifth in a career stretching back to 1980, nearly blew it by j
ubilantly standing up in the saddle approaching the finishing line and the loss of impetus almost saw him overtaken by another horse. He explained: “I had no intention of doing that but the vicar and all my friends from my village of Sturminster Newton came running from the bar and there was a tremendous roar. You wave to people when you pass them in our village and I was just doing that. I simply forgot I was in a race.” Perhaps wisely, he decided to end his riding career on that high. His wife Sarah said: “I’m just pleased he finally won and didn’t hurt himself.”

  FOOTBALLER BOOKED FOR BREAKING WIND

  A player at an amateur soccer match in Manchester was shown a yellow card in 2009 for distracting an opposition penalty taker by breaking wind. The referee decided the Chorlton Villa player made the noise deliberately and booked him for “ungentlemanly conduct”. The spot-kick was saved but the referee ordered it to be retaken. The second kick was successful but International Manchester still lost 6-4 even though Chorlton Villa finished with only eight men after having three players sent off.

  ROMANIAN CLUB APPOINTS BABY AS MANAGER

  Aurel Rusu, president of Romanian soccer club Sadcom FC, was so dismayed because his team were languishing in the country’s bottom division that in 1997 he appointed his son Lucian as the new manager. Lucian was six months old.