by Love Belvin
“He’s out back, working out while Kyree’s coaching him.” I chuckled out loud this time.
Ky was sitting out there with his thick goose down coat and scarf wrapped around his face, holding a stop watch as he sat on a crate, watching Trent. The big guy turned over a tractor tire two times before taking off on a rope ladder where he demonstrated his agility, toeing down each square, showing off his footwork. When I looked out earlier, Trent was taking off his resistance gear to practice his three-and five-step drops without it. He’d been at it since six this morning. Just after eight, Kyree joined him in the basement, and eventually the pair worked their way outside.
The things that man can do with his body…
My spine shivered.
“Coaching? That lil thing playing boss?” she shrieked. “Well, I guess it serves Trent right. He used to do the same thing to Shank when he used to work out.” She giggled. And I steeled at the visual of Trent being so small, vulnerable, and attached to the only relative who made time for him. Fast forward nearly twenty years later, he’s our world, mine and Ky’s. I couldn’t imagine life without this man. “Only thing is, Trent’s workouts are fancier; not the simple push-ups his uncle did in his day.”
Snapping out of my head, I forced a laugh. “I can only imagine.”
“Yeah. Those days…” her voice turned forlorn.
“So, will you agree to visiting?”
“I don’t know—”
“Just throw a few things in a suitcase. Try us out for a few nights. You shouldn’t turn down what you haven’t tried, you know.”
My phone, across the room on the island, vibrated over the marble. I crossed the kitchen for it.
“Okay. I’ll think about it,” April returned.
“Do more than think because I just ordered a bed for you,” I exaggerated.
“What? A bed?”
“Yup!” I giggled, reading Lashawn’s text saying they were on their way over. “Trust me. You wouldn’t have wanted to sleep on the bed Trent’s had since living with Brenda.”
“Since what!” she shrieked, playing parrot again. “That thing lasted that long?”
“You can imagine the activities of it. It’s the bed Ky and I slept on when we first moved in.”
I probably shouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t sure if Trent had told his family about our meeting. Also, I wasn’t prepared to tell her I spent very few nights on it, opting to seduce my way into her nephew’s bed instead.
“Lawd!” April cried as I snickered.
“So, I’ll give you about a week to clear your calendar, pack, and have your legs here where I can keep an eye on you, woman!”
“Okay… Okay… Okay! Let me get myself together.”
A smile blossomed on my face and I, excitedly, turned toward Trent in the yard. He was still at it, briskly moving those feet.
“Perfect. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Okay, Jade.”
I ended the call feeling a mote of victory. Then my cell phone vibrating with a text in my hand rained over it.
+1(973)555-5666: Yo this Ryder tell kyree to call me I wanna see him
My shoulders caved in despair.
At my secure push, the pan of apple cobbler slid onto the glass shelf of the refrigerator.
“I’m mad you ain’t putting that in the oven,” Lashawn rustled. “I could use some of your cobbler. You the only one that can make a good one like Nanny.”
I turned to find her applying another coat of clear polish on her toes, with one leg hiked on the pad of the stool bar.
“Shawnie, I told you to put on another one when you get home. Now they won’t dry for hours. How’re you going to put on your socks and boots to leave?”
Without looking at me she brushed her baby toe with the clear polish. “Girl, I’m wearing these flip flops home. I only got one stop to make before getting there.”
My eyes stretched wide in disbelief. “A stop? Girl, it’s like twenty-five degrees out there. It’s going to start snowing any minute.”
“Yup. To the grocery store to pick up two cans of carnation milk my mother forgot while shopping this week. She needs it for her mac-n-cheese tomorrow.” Lashawn hiked her brows and angled her head, exhaling, “My boring life.”
I rolled my eyes, trekking over to the counter to finish a concoction in the Bullet. She hadn’t come straight out with it, but something was biting at my cousin.
“Your life isn’t boring, Shawnie.” I pressed the lever to start the motor and watched the vegetables, yogurt, nuts, and powder chop up and blend at rapid speed. When it was done, I turned off the machine, unlocked the cup and covered it with a twisted lid. “No one has something popping every second. There are highs and lows, but lord knows we keep busy.”
“I don’t. It’s just working at the stupid job, coming home to my parents’ house, and maybe—just maybe—a date with a guy who ain’t a total fuckboy, only wanting to fuck after the club and not at least hit up a B-Way Burger.”
I scoffed, shaking my head and rolling my eyes at her.
“Yup. That be the highlight of my damn week if I get one of those. So, until then, the least you can let your little cousin do is put another coat of clear on to make sure I preserve this dope design you put on my toes. I’m glad you got that gel machine here. I like this color.” She admired her nails with her hands in the air. “Yup. This is my happy. Getting my nails done for free by the best damn tech in the state. I’ll wait for this last coat to dry a little while enjoying your beautiful home. You can always plop that pan in the oven and we can have the cobbler with vanilla bean ice cream.”
On an exhale, I combed my nails through my hair while leaning on my elbows over the countertop. “Can’t.” Then I massaged my temples, trying to wake up. I was tired as all get out. “It’s for tomorrow.”
“So? One serving from it ain’t gonna ruin nothing.”
“I’m taking it across the road to The Rogers’. We’re having dinner over there after church, before heading to a party.”
“Who are the Rogers’ and what party?”
Devin flew into the kitchen with some bright yellow gadget in his hands. “Mommy, look at what Ky gave me!”
It looked like a car part, just shiny and bright.
Ky was behind him, rubbing his tight eyes, looking as tired as I was this late afternoon hour. He grinned and snorted, “I ain’t give it to you; Trent did. He bought some for both of us.”
“What’s that?” Lashawn asked.
“A fidget spinner! Duh!” My head jerked back. “Everybody in school want one of these. Only two people got one, and now me!”
Lashawn studied it from Devin’s little hands as I did, but I was across the island from them.
“You okay?” I asked Ky. I knew his little bug had drained him, although he was in his recovery stage of it. He nodded, walking over to me to lay his head on my ribcage. “I hope you weren’t in Trent’s tool box for his truck, KyKy.” I couldn’t help my fussing.
He shook his head against me. “No. I told him to get me some when he came home, and he did.”
“All right,” I sang as a warning. “You look like you’re about to crash. Go get your last few minutes of playtime in with your cousin before he has to go. I’ll run you a mint bath before bed.”
“C’mon, Kyree. I bet I can spin faster than you,” Devin challenged, crossing the kitchen for the back staircase.
I watched Lashawn look after them, her expression desolate.
“What’s up with you? I’m the tired one with a sick child.”
She shook her head, turning away. “You got a partner to help with Ky, and here I am tryna find a nigga to take me to the B-Way Burger with the drive thru in Paterson.”
“Shawnie,” I cried. I hated the self-loathing. It wasn’t her style. Lashawn was always upbeat.
“For real!” She leaped around in her seat to face me. “That new one right off Route 20 is nice and not in the hood. It’s the first of its kind, the owner
wanted to try one out in his hometown.”
“I know that, but what’s really going on? Are you sweating the money thing?”
“Yes. I’m sweating the money thing. You got a man with money, and that wasn’t even a requirement for you no more.”
I shook my head, studying her. “It wasn’t. But wanna hear something funny?” I neared her side of the island.
“What?”
“I wasn’t looking for a man when I found one.”
“Bullshit!” she shouted.
Unoffended, I assured, “I’m serious, Shawnie.” She rolled her neck and eyes, challenging me. “No lie. I’m going to tell you a story I’ve never shared. Two months after Ryder got locked up, KyKy got an invitation to a friends and family day at his classmate’s church. And you know I lost the desire to sit amongst pretentious ass church people since my parents’ last church. But I was feeling so…” I lifted my hands, unable to articulate myself. “Guilty, angry, hurt, and lifeless at that time and Ky really liked this kid. So I took him. The church was a little dry. The preacher was funny looking with a lisp, but I really wanted a take-away from that whole day. I didn’t care if it was from the choir, usher, or pulpit: I was so damn desperate and church was supposed to help with that, right?”
“I guess,” she breathed, unconvinced.
“Well, the one thing I got from fugly was to stop asking God for something you don’t have and instead, ask Him to work on something inside of you: something you do have. I used to want a family for Ky. I wanted that ratchet as—” I caught myself. I was trying to rein in foul language and control what energy I gave life to by way of my words, something Pastor Carmichael spoke about last month.
“C’mon, Jade!” Shawnie’s arms swung in the air. “This me! You can keep it trill with me!”
“I know! That’s not what that was about. That was about where I’m going with this story: internal change. I didn’t realize back then that I’d started my cleansing process. I used what that man said to examine the junk”—I felt my face fold in disgust—“in me. I started seeing a lot of mess I needed to work on, so I could get out of the funk I’d been in for years. So, I started praying here and there, a simple prayer about cleaning me from the inside. And you know what?”
“What?” Her neck was snapped back again.
“That was the time I realized I didn’t want him anymore.” I turned up my lips, remembering that period. Ryshon used to rule my universe, even he knew. But during his last trip to prison, he lost the reins. And now I understood how.”
“Say word!”
“Word.” I nodded. “That’s when I applied for Section 8. He didn’t know. It even took a while for my name to get picked, but that was my way of becoming independent. It’s when I started Kean University, too.”
“Oh!” Her face expanded, giving the first sign of her understanding.
“Yup. It’s when I stopped asking for things—external things I wanted like a Ryshon or a man, in general, and started asking for things to improve within me.”
“So, you saying I need to stop looking for a man?”
I didn’t want to come right out and say, “hell yeah,” so I settled for, “I think you should just change your focus. It’ll distract you, trust me. I couldn’t believe the amount of stuff I found to work on once I started looking at me only.”
Lashawn’s regard was blindly on the floor. I silently breathed a sigh of relief, believing I’d gotten to her.
Heavy steps coming down the stairs caught my attention. Then his voice sounded.
“Yeah, I’m ready. I’m downstairs, ‘bout to head out now, nigga. You ready? You move slower than my lady,” he jeered.
It had to be Stenton he was joking with. Even Zoey complained about how slow he was, getting ready to go out. He had a reputation among his circle of being a divo. Also, he was driving into the City with Stenton to the last night of the men’s conference. The closing of it was tomorrow, during morning worship. I couldn’t wait to hear a summary of what Pastor Carmichael had been imparting. Funny how church had become my “thing” since Trent.
Trent handed me a tie to help him out with. I thought it was cute. He wore jeans, a dress shirt with a tie, and red Jimmy Choo’s Argyle sneakers. It was his balance of formal and casual wear I found adorable.
“Whatever.” Trent smiled over at me as I applied his tie. “You just be ready. A’ight. Peace.” He ended the call. “Hey, Lashawn,” he sang teasingly—rather flirtatiously for an easy target like my lustful cousin.
“He—” I could swear to hearing her swallow anxiously. “Hey, TB—Trent…”
It typically took Shawnie a few minutes to warm up in Trent’s presence. She had to get past the public figure—and lusting over the public figure—before casually engaging with her cousin’s fiancé. She had only been around him a handful of times at this point. I wondered how much faster the process would be if she knew he was actually my husband. None of my family knew.
“What y’all down here choppin’ it up about?” Trent posed the question to her.
His back was to Lashawn, who I found ogling my husband’s person, her eyes focusing on his glutes. I wondered what she saw. I snickered to myself as I shook my head.
“Oh, uh…” she hesitated. “I was just telling Jade how I need to get away to relieve some stress.”
My face folded. “No, we weren’t. You think that’s going to help?”
“Anything’ll help at this point.”
“When you thinking about pulling out?” Trent asked, being sociable, I was sure.
Once I was done with his tie, I patted his chest then rounded him for an answer from Lashawn.
She shrugged. “I ‘on’t know. Maybe in a couple of weeks. I just need a sitter.”
“A couple of weeks? Devin’ll be over for Ky’s birthday, right?”
“Yeah,” she sighed, going back to brooding.
“Devin can kick it with Ky,” Trent offered while checking his pockets for something. He pulled out his keys.
“Of course, he can.” My regard went to Lashawn. “This is just news to me. I haven’t even decided what to do for Ky’s birthday.” Now, with his father home, it would be a daunting task.
“You should do a party at a bouncy house,” Lashawn suggested. “Tire them kids out.”
I nodded with upturned lips. “That’s an idea.”
“Why waste the money?” Trent added. “You can do something here.”
“Nothing I could do at a bouncy house. It’s cold in March,” I scoffed.
“You have no idea the things we can do to create a turned up atmosphere here, lil one.”
“Rent a whole bunch of equipment? I don’t have the money for that!” I asserted.
I heard Lashawn suck her teeth behind me, and knew she was referencing Trent’s money.
Trent moved over to me and planted a kiss on my forehead. He murmured, “I’ll see you later.”
“You walking across the road or driving?”
“Walking.” I knew it wasn’t a big deal and Stenton and Trent did it all the time, but lately, my concern for his safety had been heightened. “You look tired. Maybe you need another nap,” his voice muted for just me to hear as he hovered over me with his back to Lashawn.
“I am,” I breathed. “I’ll be fine once I get Ky fed and in the bed.”
Trent reached down and kissed me sweetly. Gosh, he smelled so divine. With his lips, he pulled my bottom one as he withdrew.
“Relax for the rest of the day,” he suggested.
I nodded, enticed by the idea. I was tired.
Trent turned. “See you, Lashawn. Hope you find somewhere dope to visit.”
“Me, too,” she replied.
“My protein shake.” He peered into me as though saying I forgot.
I had. Without addressing it, I stepped backwards to the counter across the room to grab the plastic to go cup next to the Bullet.
When he started for the entry of the kitchen, Lashawn called out to
him. “TB, you knew how long Jade was celibate before you ran up in there?” she asked out of the blue.
It took a few seconds, but I eventually realized she was referring back to our heart-to-heart about desiring a man.
Right away, Trent’s face squeezed into a stumped expression. He was confused by her random question.
He snorted. “Nah.” Then his eyes swung over to me.
“Years,” she answered. I pinched the bridge of my nose. Lashawn’s elbow drew over the island and she lay her chin on the palm of her hand, narrowed her eyes inquisitively. “Was the pussy worth it?”
I dipped my chin, embarrassed, but my eyes stayed on the players. This was my cousin’s demeanor, but I couldn’t decide if she was being humorous or was downright curious. With Shawnie, you never knew. Trent’s eyes roved over to me and slowly, a sexy boyish smile spread across his face. A smile that quickly transformed into a wolfish grin, hiding most of his teeth.
“Every inch of it.” His eyes remained on me. “Every strand of hair.” Then he turned unceremoniously and stalked down the hall.
After spending a few seconds checking out his tantalizing gait, I turned to my cousin with narrowed eyes.
“What in the world was that?”
“Man, listen…” She straightened on the stool. “If celibacy can get me anything near that fine ass slab of meat, I just needed confirmation. And you said his dick’s monster-sized?”
My face dropped into my open hands. “Your last coat should be dry now, Shawnie,” I whined. I was officially drained.
Her tickled laughter rang around the kitchen.
~Five
The bronze mango AMG G63 came to a stop and StentRo put the gear in park. He lowered the volume on some instrumental rock station he played all the way back to Jersey. He sat back, lay his elbow on the door and rubbed his index finger over his mustache.
“Dawg, dude went in tonight!” His voice was low, but convincing.
I nodded. “Fo show. Ezra stay taking it there, politics left behind.”
“The way he broke down the attributes of a man…” His head shook a little. “Your passion, purpose, occupation, talent, ministry, and purpose being separate entities, but often overlapping. That’s some real ish, yo. Me hanging the jersey was retiring from my occupation, passion, and talent. Some days leading up—and sometimes since—I wonder what’s next for me. Is that it?”