Dust to Dust: A Broken Fairy Tale

by S.P. Cervantes

  Holden gives me a questioning glance. “Everything alright, babe?” He runs his hand through his impossibly sexy hair. “You seem…preoccupied. Look at you—you haven’t even unpacked everything yet. Don’t tell me you’re going to run away,” he says with a half-smile.

  He really does know me too well for my own good. I put on my best, most seductive smile, knowing now is not the time for this conversation. “I’m better than ever now that that stupid cast is off. I can’t wait to go on a run tomorrow, hit the spa tonight with you,” I give him a suggestive wink, “and wear these awesome heels that will make my legs look a mile long.”

  I can tell my flirting is working when Holden laughs and gives me his full dimpled smile. “Promise me you’ll keep the heels on tonight?” He pulls me closer by the waist, pressing his whole body against mine. My entire body reacts to his touch: the closeness of his body, the sweet smell of mint and vanilla that always follows him, and his hypnotizing beautiful eyes—all make me a ball of raging hormones.

  “Promise,” I whisper, barely able to get the words out.

  He gently places his hands on my face and painfully, slowly, brings his lips to mine, stopping just before giving me what I so badly want. “I love you so much, Camryn. So fucking much.” His lips crash into mine, taking my breath away.

  When we pull up to dinner, Jess asks me to wait back in the car with her while she touches up her make-up. While I know it is a stalling tactic to get me alone, Dave and Holden have no clue what she’s up to and decide to go in and have a drink at the bar while they wait for us.

  “Men are so dumb. Would it have killed Dave to say ‘Don’t be ridiculous, honey, you look amazing’? Instead, he just gets out, no questions asked,” Jess huffs as she takes her lipstick from her purse.

  I look at her, confused. “Didn’t you want them to get out so we could talk? It seemed pretty obvious to me, and I’m sure to the guys too.”

  “I was not obvious,” she says, smiling. “Listen, Camryn. I have to tell you something, and it’s kind of big, so you have to promise me that you won’t freak out.”

  My stomach instantly turns at her warning. Tonight has to be fun; I owe it to Holden. He has done so much for me. “Can it wait for tomorrow, Jess? Please? I just want to have fun tonight and not worry about a thing. Not my injuries, not work, not the kids, not the accident, and especially not Jake.” I don’t wait for Jess’s answer. I open the door of Holden’s car and begin walking into the restaurant, determined to make tonight the carefree night I planned.

  The bar is dark, and it’s difficult to see where Dave and Holden are sitting. My breath escapes my body at the sight of Holden surrounded by three beautiful women, one of which has her arm slung over his broad shoulders. They are all wearing dresses that are far too short for my taste and seem to have already had one too many drinks by the way they are swaying while they talk. Holden and Dave are laughing along with whatever slut number one just said and my face turns fifty shades of crazy when she moves to sit on Holden’s lap. What. The. Hell.

  Holden grabs the all too beautiful slut by the waist and pushes her off him, sending a brief shot of calm through me. Just then he looks over and our eyes meet, mine filled with rage, his with love. He smiles, probably realizing I am at a ten on the pissed-off scale, and holds his hand out to me, inviting me over.

  Jess is at my side. I hadn’t even realized she followed me in. The sluts—that’s what I’ve decided to name them—all turn with shocked looks on their faces. The woman who had just been trying to mount my boyfriend gives me an evil smile, and turns back to Holden as if I don’t exist.

  “Holden, give me a call so we can get together and catch up,” she slithers out, obviously trying to make a point.

  Just when she makes a move to run her hand through Holden’s hair, he stops her by grabbing her wrist and leading it back to her side. “Not going to happen, Trish.” Holden stands up and wraps his arms possessively around me, kissing the top of my head. “Trish, you remember the love of my life, Camryn, right?” He moves his arm and drapes it around my waist in a very intimate way, almost making me forget these women standing before us. “We’ve got to get to our table. You ladies enjoy the rest of your night.”

  I smile politely, not wanting to resort to acting like a jealous teenager, but Jess clearly has another idea. She walks straight up to Trish, making the arrogant woman take a step back. “I remember you and your little posse of tramps. Next time, try not to look so desperate and maybe you might have someone fall head over heels in love with you the way Holden is with Camryn.”

  I now remember who Trish is. She was in the same grade as Holden in high school, and was one of Holden’s many conquests before we got together, and now I can only imagine, after as well.

  Holden turns me to him and softly kisses my lips. “I hope that didn’t upset you. All I have been thinking about is having you in my arms tonight, and I don’t want that to mess anything up for you tonight,” he growls through our kiss. “I can’t wait to have those legs wrapped around me later.”

  I can’t help but smile. I’m an adult and know that what I saw was innocent. I have to learn to put my insecurities behind me and accept that Holden has chosen me. He makes that clear to me every day, with his every action. If anyone should be worried, it’d be Holden. He knows how skittish I am.

  “I love you, Holden. Let’s go eat.”

  When we sit at the table, Holden scoots my chair closer to him, and pulls me snug under his arm. He kisses the side of my head and holds me there, as if he is memorizing the moment.

  “You two are so adorable! I just can’t stand it!” Jess says as she sits down across from us, giving Dave a frustrated glance and encouraging him to match Holden’s affection. “When are you going to put a ring on it and make an honest woman out of Cam again?”

  Holden smiles brightly, making my insides melt. I can honestly say that I have never seen Holden this happy in all the years we have known each other. It is clear that his happiness has a lot to do with me, and that scares me. It’s too much pressure right now. I love him more than ever, but I can’t be responsible for anyone else’s happiness other than my girls’ right now. My heart loves his reaction; my mind is screaming something different.

  I interject before Holden can react. “Don’t start, Jess. We are happy with the way things are.” I lean more snugly into Holden and kiss him in a reassuring way. He doesn’t seem to mind, or be surprised by my reaction, making me feel calm instead of nervous that he will be mad at my hesitation. Holden knows me better than anyone, maybe even myself. It’s times like these that I realize how special it is that he can make situations like these casual and easy, instead of awkward and tense.

  The rest of the evening is better than I hoped for. The four of us eat like animals, indulging in lobster and crab drenched in butter, oyster shooters, and a few bottles of wine. The entire dinner, Holden is more affectionate than usual, constantly rubbing my back, my thigh, tracing circles along my leg under the table, driving me mad, and he loves every second of it as much as me.

  Just as we were finishing our after-dinner drinks, Dave receives a text.

  “Please don’t tell me you are being called into the station? You need to tell them that you’ve already been drinking.” Jess is always aggravated when Dave gets pulled away on his off-hours. Truth of the matter is that being sheriff of a small town like Mantoloking means that he is actually pulled away very rarely.

  I roll my eyes at Jess. “Oh please, Jess. It’s probably one of the guys telling him that Mrs. Conally’s dog has been barking all day again.”

  Jess and I high-five, both laughing at the truth of my comment, but I catch a much different exchange between Dave and Holden. Dave looks up from his phone and gives a serious nod to Holden. Holden’s reaction is instant. His entire body that is pressed against my side tenses in reaction to whatever revelation Dave and he secretly exchanged. He solemnly nods back to Dave and takes a long sip from his drink. He kisses m
y forehead again, the bitter scent of whisky looming on his breath, and lets out a quiet sigh.

  I lean back away from Holden. “What is it? What was that look you just gave each other?”

  I turn my accusing eyes to Dave, knowing he will break under my pressure. He’s always been putty in my hands. He’s the most honest man I know, and can’t lie for the life of him. “Dave does that text have anything to do with my accident?” I give him my best “I caught you with your hand in the cookie jar” look.

  Jess slaps Dave upside his head, making him scowl at her and let out a defeated grunt. “Fess up, Dave.”

  He looks at Holden as if asking for his approval. Holden’s protective, alpha dog side was front and center now. The happiness that was seeping from every pore this entire night is sealed with palpable concern.

  “Holden Patrick, you worry too much. Nothing that text says will ruin this night.” I meant it.

  Holden gives me a weak smile and presses his forehead to mine with hooded eyes. “Promise?”

  “Promise,” I whisper, kissing his soft lips. I pull away, knowing I have won and turn back to Dave. “Spill it.”

  Dave opens the message and shows it to me. Before I can start reading, Jess yelps, “You better read that aloud, missy. I want to know what’s going on too!”

  “I wouldn’t do it any other way,” I say, slurring my words slightly. Clearly the drinks have gotten to me. Maybe that is why I’m not nervous reading the text.

  I tap the iPhone screen, illuminating the message from Detective Brower.

  I clear my throat, trying to sound official as I read the message to everyone. “Hey Man, video surveillance came in from the gas station next to station in Hamilton case. Waters’s car was seen leaving the scene. Bringing him in. Don’t worry, we’ll hold him as long as we can.” I silently re-read over the words that just crossed my lips, thinking I must have had a Freudian slip in my intoxicated state. But there it is in front of me. I have started to believe Jake when he said he wasn’t involved with the accident, telling myself it was all just a horrible coincidence. This message changes everything.

  I sit silent, trying to process what I just read. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Holden motions for the check and Dave frantically texts back, trying to get more information. Jess only stares at me like she was waiting for me to blow. Deep breaths, deep breaths. My head is swimming with questions. The promise I made moments ago repeated in my mind. Nothing will ruin this night. I kept telling myself that I should be relieved, that the person who tried to kill me could be behind bars soon. The same person who killed a part of me all those years ago.

  I look up at them all and smile. Jess continues to eye me worriedly. “I’m okay, you guys. I am. This is good, right? We should all be relieved, right? It may all be over soon, right?” Tears fill my eyes at the reality of my words. Will it ever be over?

  Dave shakes his head. “I have to be honest here, Cam. The evidence doesn’t point to Jake at all. The alibi he gave for the night of the accident was confirmed by several witnesses. There’s no evidence other than the car pulling out of the parking lot, and we all know the Waters have several cars. To lock him up for good, you need to make a statement about what…” He clears his throat nervously, looking at Holden as if he is about to jump across the table and pummel him for saying it aloud. “Um, you know…about his history with you.”

  I shake my head. “Not yet. Let’s see if it really was him first, then maybe. It’s all I can promise right now. We all know how powerful his family is. I can’t risk my girls getting hurt out of retaliation. I have no doubt Mary Waters will stop at nothing to protect her little baby.” The words are like venom coming out of my mouth.

  “Jake Waters or someone on behalf of Jake Waters wants me quiet. At least tonight I can sleep peacefully knowing he will be watched like a hawk. So tonight….tonight, we celebrate!” I lift my glass and force a smile, but the gravity of the situation chokes me, making it seem as if I am trying to breathe through a straw. Fresh air. I need fresh air.

  Not able to hold back the tears from the overwhelming feeling, I shoot out of my seat and run out of the restaurant, hiding my face with my purse.

  “Cam, wait! Babe, stop!” Holden calls as he chases after me.

  I stop dead in my tracks in the middle of the parking lot and turn back to the restaurant. Holden, the man I have loved ever since I knew what love was, stands tall in front of the illuminated doors, looking more like a god than a man. He opens his arms to me, and it is as if the action is something I’ve waited my entire life for. I run back into his arms, unleashing a waterfall of tears. He runs his hands down my hair, kissing me in between his soothing motions.

  “It’s alright, babe. I’m here. It’s going to be okay. It was always going to be okay. I will never let anything happen to you. Ever.”

  I gather myself and look up at him, mascara streaming down my face. “I know, Holden. I know.”

  “Let’s go,” Holden says as a group of people exit the restaurant, eyeing us curiously.

  “What about Jess and Dave?”

  “They’re coming. We’ll wait in the car,” he says, leading me over to his black BMW. “Not quite the night we were hoping for, huh?” He somberly smiles, opening the door for me.

  I look up at him, tracing my hand across his strong jawline, and then over his pouty lip. “It’s not how I planned, but like I said. It’s still a night to celebrate. Either way, we are one step closer to having this nightmare over. Now take me to bed or lose me forever, baby.” I smile, playfully reciting one of Holden’s favorite lines. I wipe my face, determined not to let this news destroy our perfect night. I am an adult. I know the importance of what happened, and the possibilities of what is to come. But I also know I can’t control anything that is happening right now, and refuse to live my life in fear. If I do, he’s won. Nothing that Jake, or his family, can do is going to keep me from being happy. Jake promised me he’d leave us alone, and I believe him. That is how I am going to choose to look at this.

  The drive home along the quiet shore street is filled with tense conversation, everyone avoiding the elephant in the room. We pull down the gravelly street to Holden’s warm, comforting home. I can’t help but smile at the peace I now feel here.

  “Do you guys want to join us for a dip?” I ask, not wanting the turn of events to change my plans of relaxing in the spa while overlooking the peaceful bay.

  “Um, thanks, Cam, but we’re beat. Can we take a rain check?” Dave asks politely, avoiding any more awkwardness.

  “Sure. Of course,” I answer, hoping Holden and I can still enjoy the rest of the night.

  “Thanks for a great night, you guys.” Holden kisses Jess on her cheek and shakes Dave’s hand, whispering something in his ear. I decide to let it go because I am done talking about Jake Waters tonight. Tonight is about being happy.

  Jess and I embrace. “I’ll call you in the morning,” she says sweetly.

  Holden and I walk up his steps and into his dimly lit home. I smile every time I walk through these doors lately, my heart warming at the sight of pictures the girls have made posted all over his walls. While I would have preferred a much more orderly display, just the idea that Holden doesn’t care about how messy it makes the house look—he only cares that it makes the girls feel proud—makes my heart melt.

  I turn to Holden, leaning up on my toes to wrap my arms around his shoulders. I give him my most alluring expression, wanting him to know exactly what my intentions are. His smile returns, his dimples deep and seductive.

  “No talking about the text or Jake Waters tonight. I. Mean. It! I’ll meet you in the spa in ten. You get the wine; I’ll get the towels.”

  Holden knows better than to argue. He takes my face in his giant hands and pulls me in for a kiss. He brushes his lips across mine, taking in a deep breath, driving me mad. His tongue slides across the opening of my lips, testing me. I respond, pulling him down closer to me, pressing my body against his. I run my ha
nds down his back, under his loosely hanging shirt, tracing my fingers over the ripples of his perfectly sculpted chest. He lets out a soft groan, tightening his grip on my face, setting my core on fire.

  He softly bites my bottom lip before begrudgingly pulling away. “Wine. You said something about wine.” Holden’s eyes are beaming with desire. He tries pulling me back in for another kiss, and I know exactly where this is heading.

  I smile, leaning back and avoiding his kiss. “Spa. Ten minutes. I’ve been dreaming about this for weeks.”

  “Me too,” he says, grabbing his swim trunks from the hook by the porch. “See you in ten. If you make me wait much longer, I’m going to come and track you down, and there will be no spa. All I can think of right now is being buried inside you.” He starts stalking his way back over to me. I laugh and run down the hall, looking over my shoulder at Holden smiling back at me with pure lust in his eyes. He is perfect.

  I shut the door behind me, smiling like a two-year-old in a candy shop. Holden really can make me forget about anything but him when we are together. He makes me happy to the core. There have been many times that I have questioned how I could actually have attracted a man of Holden’s caliber. But when I am with him, he never makes me feel like I need to question anything. He treats me as if he’s the one who has won a prize, not the other way around.

  I slip on my black one-piece cut-out suit, hoping to hide the signs of inactivity on my body. I really should have thought through this whole spa thing. Holden’s sleek, athletic body left no one wondering if he worked out. It is clear he does, even with clothes on. Me—I ran almost every day before the accident, but still ate like a truck driver. The problem now is that I still eat like a truck driver, only I haven’t exercised in almost two months. I grab a sarong, and wrap it around my chest, hoping that the darkness combined with Holden’s beer goggles will distract him from my curvier hips.