A Babysitter's Guide to Monster Hunting #3

by Joe Ballarini

  “The babysitters need to evacuate Sunshine Island.”

  “I see. I see.” I imagined her cleaning her glasses. How could she be so calm at a time like this? “You thought it was better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission. And we should come in and pick up the pieces because that’s what we do, is it?”

  I gulped. She was not letting me off the hook.

  “Well, young lady, now you are in a prison of your own making. Because it will take us at least twenty-four hours to mobilize a team for extraction.”

  “Twenty-four hours?” I shouted. “We need a pickup now.”

  “Well, you should have thought of that before you broke the laws. They are there for a reason, you know.”

  My heart pounded. Wind stung my eyes. “Please don’t punish my friends for something I did. I made them come here.”

  “They’re old enough to know better,” Pressbury sneered. “But clearly not old enough to survive on their own. The Nanny Brigade is cleaning up a crisis of elves in Washington, DC. Yours is not the only chapter protecting the children of the world, young lady. They can mobilize in the time I gave you. And in that time, you are to hide and remain hidden. Do not interact. Do not engage. Repeat, do not engage. For your own safety and ours.”

  My eyes scanned the park. “There’s kids here. Twenty of them.”

  “The naughty ones,” Pressbury said tightly. “Worst of the worst?”

  “What’s that got to do with anything?” I said.

  “Now you understand what happens when you’re naughty.”

  Holy cow. She is being a class A jerk.

  “What are the coordinates?” she demanded.

  I peered into the northern horizon where I could see the chimney stacks of the prison camp. My heart told me Liz and Kevin were out there fighting the good fight. Either way, I came here to find them. I was going to bring them home.

  I checked the map and gave Pressbury directions to the western tip of the island. To get there we would have to cross by the compound and its chimney stacks.

  If we’re going to be stuck here for twenty-four hours, then I’m going to make the most of it.

  “Very well,” Pressbury said. “See you in twenty-four hours. Please do stay alive. And if you are caught, do not reveal our plans or your identity, or we will be forced to abandon the mission. Am I being clear?”

  Grrrrr.

  “Do you think you can follow orders this time? Because I will not mobilize the Nanny Brigade if you are inclined to disobey my orders yet again,” said Pressbury with mocking weariness.

  Yeah, lady, I heard you the first time.

  “Yes. Ma’am,” I said through my clenched teeth.

  “Until tomorrow,” she said.

  She hung up. My heart had been stabbed with a thousand knives. The sun had gone down. The sky was a wistful, purple twilight. Strings of lights twinkled in the park. My insides were twisted into knots, and I didn’t want the others to hear the pain and fear bubbling inside of me.

  The others need me to be strong and tough and a leader.

  I took a breath of cool air. A sound made me sit up in terror.

  It was the shrieking of gargoyles.

  24

  Three winged monsters arced over the horizon and headed for the amusement park. Perched at the top of the Ferris wheel, I was a sitting duck. Sure, I was disguised in a stinky teddy bear costume, but that would probably draw more attention to me. Like Who is that weirdo chilling alone on the top of a Ferris wheel?

  Clanging gears screeched into motion, and my seat began its slow descent to the ground. The flying sentinels swooped past the roller coaster, scanning the area. I saw a few kids look up into the sky with wonder. They pointed and yelled. The gargoyles shot high up and vanished into a cloud cluster.

  I guessed the monsters of the island were not supposed to reveal themselves to the kids. Maybe the Wolf wanted to catch them off guard.

  My creaking seat scraped against a support beam as Victor stopped the ride. I hopped off at the bottom and a screw popped loose. My seat crashed to the ground.

  The goblin in the frog costume stopped us. Apparently, he was the only one in the park who didn’t appreciate Victor’s ice cream cart stunt.

  If that goblin signals the other monsters, we’re in trouble.

  I saw the goblin’s yellow eyes widen with surprise. He knew we weren’t goblins. Busted! I put up my hands, as if I were surrendering, but then I grabbed him by the green scruff of his frog costume and with all my might, slammed him into the Ferris wheel’s metal support beam. He let out a weary grunt. I shoved him onto the next oncoming seat, Victor kicked the lever, and we watched the goblin sail up, up, up to the very top of the wheel. Victor cranked the ride to a stop, stranding the sleepy goblin in the sky.

  We made our way across the park, and headed toward the Flying Aces ride, when the sound of trumpets erupted over the speaker system.

  A brassy fanfare boomed. A smooth, royal-sounding voice echoed across the park.

  “Attention, boys and girls! Are we having fun?” It was Baron von Eisenvult.

  The kids cheered.

  “I can’t hear you!” said the voice.

  The kids squealed with delight.

  “Do you want to have even more fun?” asked the voice. “Well, then make your way to the most fun you will ever have in your entire life: the fun house!”

  Spotlights swept the park and blasted the fun house entrance. The eyes of the cartoon monster face twisted and turned while a deep chuckle echoed from deep inside it. Costumed goblins were merrily leading all the kids in the park to sit inside of the rail carts.

  Victor and I ducked behind the candy hut and watched the goblins lock safety harnesses over the kids’ shoulders. This was the only ride in the park that seemed to have safety harnesses. I had a feeling they weren’t there to protect the kids but to trap them.

  “Keep your arms and legs inside the moving vehicle at all times. And please, no flash photography,” boomed the Wolf. “Now get ready to scream. Because this is the ride of your lives!”

  A goblin cranked the controls, and electric sparks shot from the wheels, sending the carts charging into the depths of the fun house. The goblins waved bye-bye. Kids screamed as they plunged into the darkness.

  After they made sure each and every boy and girl in the park had boarded the ride, the goblins ripped off their fuzzy costumes and kicked them aside. The goblins scratched their warty skin. They each jumped into a cart and rode after the children.

  And like that, the park was empty and eerily quiet.

  25

  “Let me get this straight. You want to go in the fun house, get on the ride, and follow it to Lord knows where?” Berna said.

  “I know exactly where it goes,” I said. “The chimney stacks. The compound. Where Liz and Kevin and the kids are.”

  We were hiding in the tall grass by the barbed-wire fence. The moon was out. It was dark. It was scary. And no one was excited about my plan.

  “If Elder Preshbury shaid we should hide and wait, that’sh exactly what we should do,” Cassie said.

  “I’m with Cassie on this one,” Berna said.

  I looked to Curtis and Victor for a little backup.

  Victor avoided eye contact. “Twenty-four hours is a long time to be running around this island, Kelly. I’d rather go away from the danger. Not into it.”

  “I don’t know, Captain,” Curtis said quietly as his eyes darted back and forth. “This island’s freaking me out.”

  His camouflage makeup had rubbed off his face, leaving big dark streaks under his eyes, giving him a wild raccoon look.

  “Bad energy here, man,” Curtis whispered. “It’s in the ground. It’s in the leaves. In the dirt.”

  Curtis picked a clump of dirt and chewed it.

  “Ew! Curtish, don’t eat dirt,” Cassie said.

  “You can taste the bad vibes,” he said, shoving a handful of grass into his mouth. “Taste it, Cassie.”

/>   “I don’t want to!” Cassie said, recoiling.

  “Taste it!” Curtis said.

  “It’ll get shtuck in my bracesh, Curtish! Shtop it!” Cassie said.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I said. “Why are you being weird?”

  Curtis chewed a mouthful of grass, lost in thought.

  “He’s always weird,” Berna whispered.

  “But this is especially weird,” Victor said.

  Curtis slapped a mosquito on the back of his neck and stared at the squashed bug guts in his hand for a long time. Victor carefully scooted away from him.

  “We should head for the extraction point,” Victor whispered.

  Things croaked and chirped in the woods. Distant branches snapped under the foot of some wild creature. Everyone huddled together in mutual terror.

  I held out my hand.

  “What are we?” I said.

  “Is this a pep talk?” Berna asked.

  “Just answer the question. What are we?”

  “Kids?” Victor asked.

  “Think legends. Think warriors,” I said.

  They grumbled. “Babysitters.”

  “I can’t hear you!” I shouted.

  “We really shouldn’t raise our voices,” Berna said.

  “You’re right. Got a little excited there,” I whispered. “We’re the good guys. Sure, we might be outnumbered and lost, but we’re together and we’re strong. If you want to stay here and hide and wait for the Wolf to hunt us down, then fine. But I’m not going down without a fight. Because that’s not what babysitters do.”

  I marched off like a bold, brave leader until I realized none of them were following me.

  “You’re going to make me beg, aren’t you?” I said.

  “Yep,” said Cassie.

  “Please?” I begged. “I can’t do this without you guys. Pretty please with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and a cherry on top?”

  Berna sighed and got to her feet.

  One by one, we entered the quiet park, keeping away from the blinking neon lights and the noisy arcade. I kept watching the stars, hoping the gargoyles had moved on. I lead everyone around the creaking roller coaster and darted to the fun house entrance.

  Berna, Victor, and I sat in one of the wooden carts.

  “Can I join you guysh?” Cassie asked us.

  I thought for sure Cassie would want to sit beside Curtis in the dark, but looking behind us, I saw Curtis sitting solo in his own cart. He was sniffing the seat with a spaced-out look.

  We squeezed together and made room for Cassie. I made sure Curtis was still in the cart behind us before I turned the lever on the control box to “Go.”

  Sparks erupted. The carts lurched forward.

  “Look alive, Curtis!” I called. “Here we go.”

  The safety harnesses slammed down over our shoulders. The two metal bars felt like hands holding me down.

  26

  Smiling, robotic kids spun around in place as they sang the sickeningly happy Sunshine Island tune.

  “With friends near, you’ll be happy here!

  Full of cheer, there is no fear.”

  The animatronic kids looked in desperate need of repair. Their movements were jerky, and some of them were missing eyeballs. Their rubber skins were cracked and faded.

  The carts glided through a cheap set made to look like a happy forest. Cute-ish monster cutouts, adorable gargoyles with big baby eyes, goblins with sweet smiles popped out from behind the fake trees.

  “I am so glad we didn’t pay to get in here,” Berna whispered to me.

  A painting of Baron von Eisenvult, looking like some grandfatherly dog, rose into view, and the music shifted into an oompah-pah marching band song.

  “With friends near, you’ll be happy here.

  Full of cheer, there is no fear.

  So be a dear and look right here.”

  The ride shot us down a rainbow-colored tunnel that turned around and around to a dizzying effect. At the end of the trippy corridor a huge spiral disk turned in hypnotizing circles. The awful song grew louder and more insistent.

  “It’s so much fun to watch it turn,

  See it spin and make you grin,

  Watch it go, and then you’ll know

  All the fun’s about to begin!”

  Lights were flashing, blinding us. The music was so loud I couldn’t think. The spiral at the end of the tunnel was growing bigger and bigger, like it was made of stretchy pizza dough. It drew me into a sleepy trance. Bubbles popped in my brain. I was reminded of the Grand Guignol’s hypnotic eyes and how I fell under his spell and almost died.

  I looked at Berna and the others. Their eyes were blank. Their jaws were hanging open.

  “Don’t look at it!” I screamed.

  I covered Berna’s and Victor’s eyes with my hands.

  “Huh? What?” said Berna, blinking.

  “Shut your eyes!” I said. “Cassie! Shut your eyes!”

  I looked back at Curtis. In the pulsing colored light, I could see drool spilling down his lips. His head lolled to the side. And his eyes were radiant and fixed on the warping, spiraling circle. We screamed at him and waved our arms, but the music was too loud, the colors of the tunnel were too bright.

  I knew I needed to get to Curtis, but the safety harness held me down. Together we pushed. The ride fought back until, finally, gears pinged and the safety harness lifted from my shoulders.

  “Hold my sword,” I said. “I’ll be right back.”

  Famous last sword words.

  I climbed to the edge of the cart, hoping I could jump the distance between me and Curtis. The sparking train tracks and the razor-sharp wheels shrieked below. I jumped and crash-landed into Curtis’s cart.

  As I waved my hands in front of his eyes, Cassie screamed. Their cart dove down a hidden tunnel right below the hypnotic spiral.

  My hair blew back, and I held on to the edge of the cart as it tilted straight down.

  We rocketed down the rails. My stomach went airborne. Was I floating out of the cart? I was! I hung on to my seat as we shot through a dark cave filled with squealing creatures. I ducked to avoid getting my head chopped off by jagged rocks.

  Curtis had the same blank expression on his face the whole time. I kind of envied him for being so oblivious.

  “I thought you said this goes to the compound!” Berna shouted back at me.

  “It does!” I yelled.

  Though I am beginning to wonder if I was wrong.

  “This might be the long way there!” I screamed.

  The rail carts went vertical. I pressed back into my seat. We were slowly climbing up a rock wall. The ride made that chilling click-click-click roller coasters make before they shoot you down another horrible drop.

  As we slowly rose, I saw tiny crimson-skinned creatures with big ears and long needlelike noses clinging to the tracks. The little red beasts had on work gloves and leather aprons and were tightening screws to the rails.

  I squinted at the mischievous-looking beings. With a pit in my stomach, I remembered seeing them in the Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting:

  From A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting

  NAME: Gremlin Americanus, aka Flibbertigibbets

  TYPE: Evil sprite, Class 5

  HABITAT: Factories, car engines, airplane wings

  STRENGTHS: Mechanics. Causing major malfunctions. (You don’t want them on an airplane or around your computer.)

  WEAKNESSES: Contrary to popular belief, sunlight and feeding them after midnight is no big deal. They have always been little devils (gremlins from Chinatown are different). These mischief monsters are relentless. But not to worry: the crashes and accidents and wrecks they cause end up wiping them out.

  Now I desperately wanted my safety harness on. I kept trying to pull it down, but it wouldn’t budge.

  Suddenly, gravity took another vacation.

  We raced downward at a million mph. The gremlins cheered for us. My brain squ
ished into my skull as the cart flew up a ginormous loop the loop. Shivering, I clung to the seat as we whooshed completely upside down.

  In a blur, I saw a pack of giggling gremlins hanging on the rails. The little jerks jammed a wrench in the tracks, and my cart jolted to a stop and Curtis and I were stuck at the top of the loop.

  My sweating hands gripped the safety harness as my feet dangled in the air. I saw Berna, Victor, and Cassie roar ahead in the cave.

  Curtis and I were stuck at the peak of the loop the loop.

  The gremlins high-fived one another and made taunting noises at us.

  The howling winds at that height made my palms sweatier. My grip on the metal bars was slipping. “Curtis, help,” I managed to say.

  Snug in his own safety harness, Curtis held the same hypnotized glaze on his face.

  “Fun,” he said.

  “Not fun, Curtis. Snap out of it!”

  The little red devils jamming the wrench into the gears mocked my voice. They were loving the show.

  I needed to reach the grappling hook and rope in the side of my backpack, but I didn’t want to let go. My wrists burned and my fingers stiffened as I pulled myself up to the safety harness and laid across it, teetering on my belly. Not the most graceful position, but I needed my hands free. I unzipped my bag, pulled out the grappling hook, and swung it at the wrench, trying to knock it lose. But every time it got close, the red jerks swatted it away. I was getting angry. I threw the hook and knocked a gremlin off the rails into oblivion.

  With threatening grumbles, the other tiny devil-sprites scrambled on top of the tracks toward me and Curtis. I had one more shot. Biting my lip, I swung the hook toward the jammed wrench.

  Good news: it knocked the wrench lose.

  Bad news: the cart shot down the loop.

  My last thoughts as I fell off were I thought that was going to turn out differently than it did, and then, AAAAAH!

  27

  Then the grappling hook caught onto a metal rung. The rope tightened around my fist, and I arced through the air as Curtis and the cart zoomed off. I slammed into the side of the loop the loop, clutching the line. The gremlins merrily hacked away at the rope.