Low-Skilled Job (Vol. 1): Low-Skilled Job

by Keller, Roger

  “I’ll go in the front and you take that side entrance.” She pointed at the door I’d seen the two goons use the night before.

  I ran across the parking lot, the MP-5 ready to go, various extra magazines clinking in my pockets. The vintage tactical vest Heather had given me smelled like mold and something I couldn’t put my finger on. I tried not to think about it.

  I should have been scared, but I felt great. Some kind of switch had been thrown in my head. I wondered if the change was permanent.

  The door I was supposed to use was locked. A real operator would have picked the lock and slipped in undetected. I however, stood there like a chump, for what seemed like a real long time.

  “Fuck it.” I ran for the front doors.

  *****

  The building’s interior was set up like a weird church, all polished wood and expensive stone. Hundreds of chairs with red velvet seats sat in rows. Strange symbols lined the high walls. I walked down the center aisle toward a group of people. They held hands and chanted. None of them saw me until I broke their circle, by kicking one of them in the ass and sending him to the floor.

  “Another one?” A silver-haired man, who looked like a painting of an old school senator come to life, said.

  “No. He’s human.” A woman holding what had to be Marcello’s book said. “Likely he is a lesser servant of the demon.”

  “Heather,” I said, holding up my hand, ignoring them.

  She stood frozen. A circle of gold was inlaid on the floor tiles around her. Greek letters and older symbols surrounded the outer edge of the circle.

  “I am sure this demon uses many names,” the woman said to me. “I have seen it use this exact form so many years ago. I could never forget that night. I survived when all the others were cut to pieces.”

  Heather’s eyes narrowed and focused on the woman. But she remained motionless. The Society of Ancient Wisdom had trapped Heather, a horrible mistake.

  “You are under the demon’s power, son.” The Senator put his hand on my shoulder. “We can help you.”

  I looked down, as if I was considering his offer.

  “You guys fucked up.” I drove the MP-5’s stock into his smug face. “Give me the fucking book.”

  The woman, I realized she was the Lavinia the goons were talking about, held up her hand and read from the book. Her voice hissed and crackled, like a degraded audio tape. My vision blurred for a second, then everything snapped back into focus. I aimed right at Lavinia’s head.

  “It can’t be.” She held up the book like a shield.

  “Put the book on the ground and I’ll let you go.” I lied.

  “Who sent you?” the Senator said through broken, bloody teeth.

  “Marcello.” I pulled the trigger and watched the Senator’s robe shake from the impact of the bullets.

  The group scattered. I fired at Lavinia next, but managed to shoot some faceless acolyte who blundered between us. Lavinia kept running.

  “Dammit, you’re fucking kidding me,” I said.

  I ran after her. She moved pretty fast for a middle aged woman in a ridiculous red robe. The robe actually sported gold stripes on the sleeves like a Supreme Court, Chief Justice. My hand closed on the silky fabric just as she made it to the wall. Lavinia pulled away, leaving me holding an empty robe. She looked back, gray streaked, black hair wild, blue eyes full of rage and terror.

  “What in the hell are you?” she said, clutching the book to her over-tanned breasts.

  I pulled the trigger and was rewarded with a loud metallic click.

  “Bastard.” I cocked the bolt back. Empty.

  Lavinia saw her chance and pulled on a stone gargoyle perched on the wall. A hidden door opened and she disappeared with the book. I drew one of my Berettas and shot into the dark opening just as the door groaned closed.

  “Goddammit.” I shot the stone gargoyle. The bullet ricocheted past my head, close enough to feel the shock wave.

  The room was empty now, except for the two dead humans and Heather. She remained trapped in the circle, radiating pure hate. I was almost afraid to help her. Heather’s eyes followed me as the tip of my boot crossed the gold line. I pulled my boot back, nothing.

  “Well, here goes,” I said.

  I reached in and grabbed Heather’s jacket. There was no resistance. She toppled forward like a statue and landed face first on the floor. I tried to pull her the rest of the way, but an earsplitting scream knocked me back. Heather brought both of her fists down and shattered the marble floor like glass. She clawed her way forward through the rubble until she was free.

  Unintelligible screams rocked the deserted hall. Heather’s claws sliced off her tactical vest, letting her weapons clatter to the floor.

  “It was so cold in there, but it burned,” she said. “How the fuck does that work?”

  “Are you OK?” I said.

  “Gonna wish you were never born.” She focused on the Senator’s body.

  “I think he’s dead,” I said.

  “Oh, he will be.” Heather’s words came out in a hiss.

  Heather leapt into the air and landed next to the Senator, marble cracked under her boots. She reached down and hoisted the old man up. His head rolled, still alive. His eyes bugged out when he saw Heather’s teeth.

  “What in the name of hell?” the Senator said.

  “Tell me, where are the others? I’ll make it quick.” Her voice was distorted by all her new teeth. “Where is the bitch who trapped me?”

  “Her name is Lavinia and don’t worry she will find you,” he said. “Of that you can be certain. Tell me. I at least deserve to know what sort of creature will end my life.”

  “I’m a vampire.” She hissed in his ear and scraped her teeth together.

  “Of course, I had always known such things existed,” he said. “Why now? Did you finally come for Lavinia after all this time ?”

  “Who the fuck is she, old man?” Heather said. “And why does she think she knows me?”

  “Lavinia was my student once,” the Senator said. “Now she is one of our most accomplished elders. When she was young, she went by the name of Leigh, I believe. She frequented underground clubs and chased long haired guitar players.”

  “What the fuck are you goin’ on about?” Heather pulled him close. “You are running out of time.”

  “Yes, of course,” he said. “You see, one night Leigh went to see a band called King Snake. They claimed to have real supernatural power.”

  “King Snake?” Heather cocked her head.

  “You know the rest of the story, you were there,” the Senator said. “Every massacre has it’s survivors. Lavinia escaped you that night. She believed the band had called on something they could not control, that you and your cohort were demon possessed heavy metal fans.”

  “No shit.” Heather looked at me and smiled.

  “I take it that the band members had no real supernatural powers,” the Senator said.

  “They were vampires too,” Heather said. “Their powers were so lame. Those guys fucked with people they shouldn’t have. I didn’t come here for Lavinia. I came for Marcello’s book.”

  “That buffoon,” the Senator pointed at me, “your servant, the one who shot me. He used that name. I think I understand. This Marcello, he must have been the book’s original owner.”

  “Yeah, and you fuckers stole it from him,” she said.

  “Stole it?” The old man looked confused for a second. Then he laughed. “Of course, you see the book came into our possession in 1905. There is no one left alive who knows how it was actually acquired. The story I heard, was that one of our more attractive sisters seduced a powerful, black magician and brought the book back as a trophy of her conquest.”

  “I fucking knew it,” I said.

  Heather giggled. The girlish sound was flat out disturbing coming out of her jagged mouth.

  “I should have just given you the book.” Pink foam formed at the corners of his mouth.


  “Ya think,” Heather said.

  “Lavinia may yet surprise you,” he said.

  Heather put her fingertips on the Senator’s eyelids.

  “No, I, I want to see it all,” he said, “I want-”

  “Have it your way.” She cut him off. “I’ve heard enough out of you.”

  Shark-like teeth sheared through his throat. The Senator died almost instantly. Heather shuddered. Her body heaved as she inhaled the blood. Not a single drop made it to the floor. She opened and closed her free hand, commanding the dead man’s heart to keep pumping.

  “Fuck,” Heather said through a blood filled mouth.

  She howled and threw the body across the room. It’s lifeless legs and arms flopped when it hit the wall. The drained body didn’t have enough weight left to do any damage to the stone. It fell pathetically to the floor.

  “Lame,” Heather said.

  She leapt into the air and touched down next to the body. She seemed to float a few inches off the floor for a second before landing. I opened my mouth to say something, but let it pass. Heather unsheathed the SOG knife and grabbed the Senator by the hair. She cut what flesh was left intact around his neck, until she found his spine. The sound of the blade scraping bone echoed through the empty hall. I winced. It was like nails on a chalkboard. Heather wiped the blade off and re-sheathed it. Then she stood on the Senator’s back and drove her boot into the back of his head, snapping bone and sending the severed head across the floor.

  “Let’s go look around. This place is bigger than it seems.” Heather shifted back to normal. “There should be some cool things to steal. Then the trip won’t be a total waste.”

  “What?” I nodded at the doors. “We should go.”

  Heather ignored me and kicked the wall where Lavinia escaped. The secret panel cracked from top to bottom.

  “Wait, she pulled this thing.” I pointed at the gargoyle.

  The gargoyle’s tail turned out to be the the lever that should have actuated the door. I pulled it and nothing happened.

  “You fucked up the secret passage,” I said.

  “I can fix it,” Heather said.

  She kicked the panel again. Another crack appeared. After about a dozen more kicks, the panel collapsed. Heather examined her right boot heel. The sole had been ripped halfway off.

  “Fuck,” she said. “These new boots suck. You bastards are gonna pay.” She shouted into the passageway.

  We stepped over the rubble, into a dimly lit corridor. Emergency lights, the kind you’d find in office buildings and factories, lit our way with sickly yellow light. They were a recent addition to the century old construction. The corridor split off into three smaller tunnels ahead.

  “Aw shit,” I said. “Which one did she take?”

  “Maybe we should split up?” Heather said.

  “Yeah right, that’s not gonna happen,” I said.

  “OK, we’ll take the left side,” she said. “You know like, the left hand path.”

  “That actually makes sense.” I followed Heather into the tunnel.

  We walked for what seemed like an hour. Heather checked her watch and looked concerned.

  “It’s only been five minutes,” she said.

  “Weird,” I said. “I wonder how the hell they managed to build all this under the city.”

  “I think we just went in a big loop,” she said.

  “I can’t tell anymore,” I said, already frustrated. “What happens down here when it rains?”

  “What?” Heather said.

  “It’s really dry and cool down here, but there’s no ventilation or drainage anywhere.” I looked over the smooth floors. “Think about it. This town’s too close to the river. Every time it rains people’s basements flood. This whole place should be underwater.”

  “I’m not sure that we’re still under the city,” she said.

  We saw greenish light ahead and kept going ‘till we found a door.

  “Should we?” I tapped the simple wooden door that barred the way. The source of the green light waited behind the rough oak panels.

  “Whatever’s in there, I bet we can handle it.” Heather tapped her claws on the bleached, gray wood.

  I pushed up on the medieval style bar that held the door in place, and let it fall to the ground. Heather pushed the door open with her damaged boot. Weird green light poured into the tunnel. I glanced at Heather. Her eyes burned with a strange violet color. She held a pistol in each hand.

  “All right you fuckers, time to…” Heather trailed off.

  “What the…” I said.

  The room was vast. I’d never seen anything like it. Lavinia and the other surviving members of the Society of Ancient Wisdom were nowhere to be seen. Massive stone columns and statues lined the endless walls. The statues depicted various things, some of them were human-like. The green light bled into a strange fog that obscured just how big the room really was.

  “Where’s that fucking green light even coming from?” I said, looking at the arches above us.

  “We only perceive it as green.” Heather spun around lazily. “It’s fucking with me, kinda like sunlight.”

  “I don’t think this place was made for us,” I said, “humans, I mean.”

  “I’ve seen him before.” Heather pointed at one of the closer statues.

  The statue stood over ten feet high, rendered in something like marble. It was the only one I could really make out, which was probably a good thing. The humanoid figure wore armor that seemed at once to be medieval and Roman. Something like this could have haunted a renegade pagan temple a thousand years ago. The carving was incredibly detailed, everything from the notches in the sword blade to the curls in the figure’s wavy hair. I almost expected him to step down off the dais.

  “Where,” I said, “where the hell did you see that?”

  “At the revenant’s lair.” She holstered her pistols. “You never went in the last room. One of the wall drawings, showed him. They left bones and skulls under it in a neat little pile.”

  “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” I pointed at the swirling, green tinted fog. “I’m not searching in that.”

  “Yeah, if they went in there, then I don’t think they’ll be coming back out,” Heather said.

  I barred the door, hoping whatever built the hall couldn’t get through a human sized door.

  “Well, the left tunnel sucked,” Heather said, as she shook off the effects of the green light.

  *****

  We made our way back to the place where the corridor split off.

  “So, I guess the right side now,” Heather said.

  “Maybe we should let Lavinia come for us,” I said. “We could leave her a clue, maybe pretend you dropped your driver’s license and set an ambush for her.”

  “First off, I’ve never had a driver’s license, not a real one anyway,” she said. “Second, I want this shit over with. I don’t like owing Marcello.”

  The right side tunnel was a lot shorter. An archway, built from the same materials as the building above, marked it’s end. We got our guns ready and stepped through it.

  Without thinking, I checked the wall for a light switch, found it and flipped everything on. Fluorescent lights buzzed to life overhead.

  “You seeing this too?” she said.

  “Yeah,” I saw it, but I didn’t know quite what to think.

  The room was made by human hands at least. It looked like a cross between the main hall and a hospital. Everything smelled like stale bleach. Chains hung from pulleys on the ceiling over a ten foot diameter, steel disk on the floor.

  “It looks like a manhole cover from the middle ages.” Heather kept to the edge, still wary of circles.

  The disk was divided in half like a door with hinges on either side.

  “Let’s open it,” Heather said.

  “You’re kidding,” I said. “There’s nothing in there that I want to see.”

  Heather got a mischievous look and grabbed one of th
e chains. Metal groaned. Then the smell hit us, easily as bad as what I’d smelled at the mall.

  “Dammit Heather.” I tried to cover my face by pulling up my t-shirt.

  Heather backed away and covered her mouth. I stepped up and pointed the MP-5 at the half open circle. It was full of polished bones. Each one appeared to have been picked clean.

  “Some of those skulls are really small,” Heather said. “The human ones anyway.”

  “What the fuck were they doing in here?” I said.

  A set of double doors waited at the back of the room.

  “I bet she’s hiding in there,” Heather said.

  “Oh, I hope so,” I said.

  We pulled the doors open. The room was a smaller version of the first with steel storage closets lining the walls like a high school locker room. A massive glass box occupied the center of the room. Heather tapped it with her claws. The glass walls flexed and vibrated, but didn’t break.

  “It’s like a cell,” Heather said.

  “How can you tell?” I said. “There’s no way in.”

  “I can smell it.” She curled her lip in disgust. “They kept people in there, and things that weren’t people.”

  She drew her arm back and threw her whole body into her next strike. When she pulled her hand back two of her claws were missing. Cracks grew around the talons embedded in the glass.

  “Damn,” she said. “Eh, close enough. It won’t keep anything prisoner anymore.”

  The cracks continued to spread as we searched the rest of the room. I found a unisex bathroom that even had a handicap bar. The toilet and urinal seemed to drain right into the stone floor.

  “Gross.” Heather slammed the door.

  “Fuck it,” I said. “We aren’t going to find anything down here. We’ll just have to hope Lavinia is really going to come looking for us.”

  “Yeah, there’s no way to tell how long we’ve even been down here,” Heather said, looking at her watch again. “I want to be gone before sunrise.”

  We headed back up to the hall.

  “We should come back and blow this place up.” I said, hoping we could at least find our way out of the tunnels.

  “What if that opens up that weird green room to the rest of the world?” Heather said. “All kinds of shit might come through.”