Jurassic War

by Hinton, Charles

  Next question.

  Q: Mr. President, are you certain that every dinosaur was killed?

  A: I was informed by the military that the dinosaurs were terminated.

  “This is the last question.” He pointed at a reporter. “John.”

  Q: Mr. President, since your approval rating is up for wining this

  war, in the next election will you select Halfway as your running

  mate?

  The President smiled. “You’ll fine out next year.”

  The reporters shouted questions as he left the pressroom.

  Out in the field in Los Angeles, Halfway’s staff gathered around him, ready to toast him, except for Mark, who was sitting by a pile of bricks not far from them, weeping.

  Joyful, Halfway, holding up a glass of champagne, said to his staff, “I’m pleased. You did excellently. We won this war in three days and

  met my deadline. We showed the American people that they can count

  on our military.”

  He and his staff cheered and drunk their champagne. Larry asked him, “Where’s Mark, General?”

  Halfway pointed. “I think he’s over there by those bricks.”

  “General, are we going to throw a party for the troops?” Standwall asked.

  “I was just getting to that. I want our troops to celebrate this victory today. We’re going to give them one hell of a party. Order

  tons of beer, liquor, and food. Also I want the best cooks in the

  military preparing the food and want the best bands, strippers, entertainers flown in immediately and a large stage set up. Now, get moving and get this thing started!”

  The commanders cheered as they left. Larry headed in the direction of Mark. He saw him sitting with his head down, sobbing.

  He touched him on the shoulder, asking, “Why are you weeping

  instead of cheering, old chap?”

  “Halfway was right, I am a Doctor Frankenstein, a hypocrite and a murderer,” Mark cried. “I created this mess. Many people died. Some

  were women and children. I was the one who invented the formula to

  hatch the eggs.”

  “Look, chap, don’t listen to that madman. You’re not any of the things he said you are. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know that there would be an earthquake. Your intentions were to bring entertainment and joy to people. You can either hang around and cry or see your wife and daughter, who probably concerned about you.”

  “They’re in Washington. I need to get back there.”

  “I’ll drive you to the airstrip. You can fly back in the dead senator’s plane. It will be leaving this evening.”

  “Are you coming to Washington?”

  “No. I’m staying here. Halfway is giving the troops a party. I think it will be a jolly good one.”

  It was night. The celebration was in a heavily lighted field. Many long tables were set up with food and liquor. A band played on the

  stage. Troops were eating, drinking, cheering, listening to the band.

  Halfway, his commanders and Larry were sitting at the front of the

  stage, eating and drinking as they watched the band play. Halfway

  sipped his drink. “You guys did a good job putting this party together.

  The troops are having an excellent time.”

  “General, the strippers are on next,” Standwall said.

  Halfway grinned. “Yeah!”

  Johnson asked Larry, “Where’s Mark?”

  “The chap went back to Washington to see his wife and daughter.”

  “He’s certainly missing a wonderful party.”

  “He wasn’t in the mood for partying. That bloody Halfway blamed this war on him.”

  “I know. I was there when the general blamed him. What a shame. You know I liked Mark. He’s a decent person.”

  In Washington, D.C., Mark went up to the eighth floor in the hotel’s elevator. He knocked on a door. It opened and his wife cried out when she saw him standing there. He was joyful as she. They kissed passionately.

  She said, “Honey I’m glad you’re okay.” They went inside.

  He asked, “Where’s Susan?”

  “She’s out on a date. She wanted her own private room. Her room number is eight-nineteen, right down the hall. She’ll be home by midnight.”

  “I’m glad this war is over. And I don’t have to see Halfway’s ugly face anymore. Many people died in that-”

  “Honey, we can talk about the war later. Let’s go into the bedroom.”

  She grabbed his hand, leading him. Inside they slowly took off their clothing to make love.

  Not far from the celebration, there was a long tunnel the military had overlooked. It used to be a mine. Inside were hundreds of small

  meat-eaters who had hidden from the bombing. They heard the

  playing of the loud band, which made them curious and they left

  the tunnel, heading toward the sound.

  At the party, ten female strippers came on the stage, dancing as the troops cheered them. The strippers started taking off their clothing

  as they danced. Some came down off the stage. One sat on Halfway’s

  lap. He smiled from ear to ear as the stripper gently rubbed his chest.

  Suddenly, loud screams were heard. “Dinosaurs!”

  The small meat-eaters tore into the crowd like knives, ripping troops’

  flesh, feasting. Shots were fired, troops knocking each other over trying to escape the creatures’ wrath.

  Astounded, Halfway knocked the stripper off his lap, shouting, “What the hell is going on?”

  “We’re being attacked by dinosaurs!” yelled Standwall.

  “I thought all the dinosaurs were terminated!”

  “Apparently, General, many have survived,” Larry said.

  Halfway ordered his staff, “Let’s get the hell out of here! There’s a helicopter behind the stage! Let’s get it before somebody else

  does!”

  Halfway and his staff ran desperately. Nails yelled as she ran with them, “General, what about the troops and the entertainers?”

  “I don’t give a damn about the entertainers! The troops know how to retreat!”

  As the helicopter flew above the scattered crowd, Halfway and his staff viewed dinosaurs feasting on several troops and entertainers.”

  Clover pointed out the window. “General Halfway, look there. Wasn’t that the stripper who was sitting on your lap? A dinosaur is ripping her apart.”

  Halfway looked. “Poor girl,” he said sadly, “she was an excellent stripper. She gave me a hard one. Now, what am I going to tell the

  President?”

  “I don’t know, sir,” Clover said.

  Mark was still in bed with his wife. They finished making love. He said, “Honey, we can’t go back to California. Our house was destroyed in the bombing. I don’t want to find another one there.”

  “Where do you want to live?”

  “I’m thinking about Japan.”

  “Why do you want to live there?”

  “Well, the Japanese planning on building a dinosaur zoo.”

  “After what just happen! How did the Japanese get the dinosaurs?”

  “The Japanese saw American businesses making a huge profit from dinosaurs, they bought some from our government. Dinosaurs are profitable and people will always be interested in them.”

  “Mark, those creatures killed thousand of people. This world should get rid of them.”

  “Our military killed thousands of people too, it’s still around. Hours ago I was sobbing and blaming myself for the people being killed in

  the war and didn’t want anything do with dinosaurs, but I miss those

  creatures as if they were my children.”

  “I think you need to see a psychologist.”

  Mark frowned. “Honey, I’m not crazy!”

  She became angry. “Don’t you shout at me! I’m not a soldier!”

  “I’m so
rry, honey. Forgive me?” He kissed her on the lips.”

  She smiled. “You’re forgiven.”

  Susan came into the room. Surprised, she ran into Mark’s arms.

  “Daddy I miss you!”

  Joyfully Mark said, “I missed you too.”

  Halfway was in his briefing room with his staff, looking serious.

  “Clover, Johnson, Chun, you three are relieved from your commands,

  you’re fired! Get out of my briefing room!” he angrily yelled.

  Shocked, the commanders quickly left the room, not uttering a word.

  The rest of Halfway’s commanders looked dumb faced, wondering why

  they weren’t fired. Larry smirked, trying to hold in his laughter as he looked at their faces.

  “Nails you’re my liaison now,” Halfway said. “Where the hell is Mark?”

  “He went to Washington to see his wife,” Larry answered.

  “Nails,” Halfway said, “I want you to send a few military police and drag him back here. I want you to contact each field commander to get a count of how many troops were killed and injured at the celebration and tell them to pull the troops back to headquarters. And find out how many

  dinosaurs attacked us. Standwall, you’ll be taking over Johnson’s command and including your Special Forces.”

  “General, that’s a major-general’s position! I’m only a colonel.”

  “I’m not promoting you one grade, I’m promote you two. Congratulations, Colonel, you’re a major general now. I’ll have your order cut and signed by the President.”

  Excited, Standwall jumped up from his chair. “Yeah!”

  “Hutton, since the Navy is the Marines and the Marines is the Navy,” Halfway said, “you’ll appoint a commander of the Seals to take Nails’ place.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “This meeting is adjourned until twelve hours from now. By that time, Mark should be here.”

  It was morning, Mark was having breakfast with his wife and daughter in the hotel room. Suddenly the door was kicked open by two military

  policemen, frightening Susan and Sally. Angered, Mark yelled, “What’s the meaning of this?”

  One of police struck Mark in the head with his nightstick, knocking him unconscious. Both policeman dragged him out of the room as Susan

  and Sally screamed hysterically.

  The policemen handcuffed him and placed him in Halfway’s military

  jet. It lifted off, heading for California.

  A few hours later, the policemen brought the dazed Mark to Halfway’s office, standing him in front of Halfway, who yelled, “Take those damn, cuffs off him, and why is he roughed up?”

  A policeman quickly removed the cuffs and said, “General, we’re sorry.

  We received orders from your aide, that you wanted this civilian drag here no matter how we did it.”

  “Nails get in here!” Halfway yelled.

  She came in. “Yes, General!”

  “Can’t you follow orders! I told you I wanted Mark here!”

  “Well, he’s here!”

  “I mean, I didn’t want him beaten and brought here in handcuffs!”

  “General, your own words were to drag him here!”

  Halfway looking disgusted, “You’re dismissed. Wait! Didn’t you get the information on how many dinosaurs are left and the number of the

  troops who were killed?”

  “No, General, but I have informed the field commanders.”

  “Well, call them again! Tell them if they don’t get me that information in five minutes, I’ll have them court-martial!”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Mark, have a seat, the lump on your forehead looks terrible. I better send for a doctor.”

  “No need, General. What do you want?”

  “I need your help again. Last night at the cerebration, my troops were attacked by hundreds of dinosaurs. I can’t figure out how they

  survived the bombing.”

  “Were they large meat-eaters or small?”

  “Small.”

  “General, if bombs were dropping now, what would be your first reaction?”

  “Head for the bomb shelter.”

  “Well, General, they have a bomb shelter, and it’s probably an underground tunnel, built a hundred of years ago.”

  “Mark, how do you suggest we find this tunnel?”

  “You’re the general.”

  “Cut the wisecracks.”

  “Have your engineer battalion survey that area and have them constantly digging. While they do it, provide them with heavy protection.”

  Halfway grinned. “Mark, I’m glad you’re back.”

  “Who said I’m back? I’m ready go back to Washington.”

  “I never begged anyone, but I’m begging you, please stay and help.”

  “On one condition, I’m not wearing a military uniform.”

  “You got it.”

  A few hours later, Halfway was on his way to his briefing room, an hour early to prepare his notes. He came inside and saw Standwall

  and Nails, naked, making love on the table.

  Nails joyfully moaned, and repeating Standwall’s name many times.

  They were so busy making love they didn’t notice Halfway had entered.

  Halfway stared, trying to hold his laughter. Suddenly he burst out laughing.

  They stopped, surprised, looking at him. Embarrassed, they quickly got dressed and said ‘sorry’ to him as they ran out of the room. He continued laughing loudly.

  Chapter 13

  The President was in the oval office with Bob and Jack. He was saying, “Halfway has informed me that the war isn’t over, and at a celebration two hundred and fifty dinosaurs attacked his troops and the entertainers.

  Four hundred of his troops were killed, six hundred injured, and six

  entertainers were killed and eight injured.”

  “Mr. President,” Jack said, “I think this is Halfway’s fault, and he should be fired. Since I’m the Secretary of Defense, I’m his boss. I’ll ask for his resignation.”

  “You can’t do that. I hired him. I’m the only one who can fire him and I won’t.”

  “Either you fire him or I’ll resign!”

  “Good, leave your resignation on my desk.”

  Surprised and upset, Jack left the room. Bob said, “Mr. President, are you certain that’s the right decision to make.”

  “Yes. What has Jack done for me lately? Halfway is now my business partner and he’s going to make me billions of dollars. I’d be a fool to fire him.”

  “That’s common sense. Mr. President, I suggest you don’t give a press conference to tell the American people the war isn’t over. You know the reporters are going to eat you alive.”

  “I know, Bob, but I have to tell the public. It’s my sworn duty as their President.”

  “I have an idea.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Have TV cameras brought in here and tell the public from your desk.

  Don’t talk to the press until the war is over. Halfway only has two hundred and fifty small dinosaurs to kill. The war should be over in a matter of days.”

  “Good idea. I’m taking it into consideration.”

  Halfway began his briefing. “I want this war over by the end of this week. Standwall, you’ll order your engineer battalion to survey and

  dig up the area in proximity to where the celebration was. You and

  Hutton will provide these engineers with round the clock protection.

  I don’t want any of them ambushed by dinosaurs. There’re approximately two hundred and fifty dinosaurs. Mark will give their breakdown before the briefing is over.

  “When we locate this tunnel, we’ll send troops in with small-arms weapons and night-vision equipment. I want the best troops sent in

  there. Ones who don’t hesitate in combat.”

  “That’s the Special Forces,” Standwall said.

  “No, the Marines,” Hutton
said.

  “No, the Seals,” Nails said.

  Halfway grinned, glad to see his commanders had high praise for their outfits. “We’ll pick from all the units.”

  “Sir,” Standwall said, “I would like to lead my men into the tunnel.”

  “I would like to go in, too, sir,” Nails said. “I want my command back.”

  “Hutton, don’t you want to volunteer?” Halfway asked.

  “No, sir, I’m not stupid.”

  Mark and Larry laughed. Halfway, laughing too and said, “Hutton, I don’t blame you. Nails, why do you want to go?”

  “I want to go for the thrill.”

  “If you and Standwall want to go in, I have no objection.”

  “General, there may be more than one exit?” Mark said.

  “Well, I hope the engineers find all of them.”

  “How many troops are going in the tunnel?” Hutton said.

  “It depends on how many exits there are,” Halfway said. “That is why I can’t make that decision right now.”

  “I can’t give you the exact breakdown of what type of animals your men will be facing,” Mark said, “but I do know they’re small meat-eaters-”

  “Well, everybody knows that!” Standwall shouted.

  “Let him finish, Standwall!” Halfway shouted.

  “When I examine some of the flesh-eating bodies,” Mark said, “their were bits and injuries of the Dromaeosaurus, the Troodon and the

  Velociraptor. It’s amazing how these different dinosaurs can live

  under one roof. When they get hungry they’ll come out. If the tunnel

  isn’t found, your men can wait ‘til they hunt for food.”

  “That’s a good idea, but it has flaws,” Halfway said. “We don’t have time to wait. There may be dinosaur eggs in that tunnel and if the

  dinosaurs do come out, the only food in the area for them is my troops and I don’t want anymore sneak attack. When my troops go into the

  tunnel, they’ll destroy the dinosaurs and set explosives that will

  demolish the tunnel. This will kill any eggs the dinosaurs may have

  left.”

  “General,” Larry said. “I would like to tag along with Hutton. I’m tired of Standwall’s rude smoking.”