My Royal Pain Quest (The Lakeland Knight series, #2)

by Laura Lond

  If that was a joke, that look said, I didn’t care for it. His tail rose and fell, splashing water all over us.

  “Where did you come from?” Orman asked, shaking his head. “I just looked that way a minute ago!”

  “It’s one of the Swirg tricks,” I answered. “Sorry, we meant no harm.”

  “My, your serpent is jumpy,” Reggie put in.

  Orman regarded him. “Just so you know, he could have swallowed you whole. All three of you.”

  The rest of the way to our destination went without incident. Merwyn took no further retaliation and even gave us another “smile” when we parted.

  “Thank you, Orman,” I said as we stood on the shore. “Please relay our most sincere gratitude to Lord Leomaris and Lady Marielle.”

  He nodded, bobbing in the waves. “I certainly will. It has been my pleasure to be of service.”

  The merman lifted his hand in a separate farewell to Cassandra, clapped Merwyn on the side, and they both disappeared.

  “Well, that was a fun ride,” Cassandra commented, looking around the island, the last one in the course of our journey. “How long do you think it will take us to fly to mainland?”

  “Probably a couple of hours. And then, if everything goes well, we should make our way back to Triar within a week’s time.”

  ***

  Chapter 9

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  Triar couldn’t believe we returned so fast.

  “What!” he exclaimed, nearly dropping the bucket of water he was carrying from the well. “You’re back already? I wasn’t expecting you for a couple more weeks at least! Did you get picked up by a ship?”

  “Better.” Cassandra grinned. “A sea serpent.”

  “A sea serpent?” He gave her a hard look. “Now, young lady, I like a good story once in a while, but in this case I would prefer to hear the truth.”

  I noticed Jarvi’s sword on his belt. So he’d been carrying it with him at all times. Good.

  Cassandra turned to me, her grin growing wider. “He calls me a liar. Wait until he hears the rest.”

  “Before he hears anything, I want the sword back.”

  Triar nodded.

  “Understandably.” He unfastened the sword and handed it to me. “I can’t fathom how you ever thought of leaving it behind.”

  “Well, I wasn’t exactly planning on a long trip.”

  I took the blade and paused before pulling it out of the scabbard. Deep inside, I still had a tiny hope to see more of the orange glow. I knew it was unlikely that I had accomplished the Second Deed; I didn’t even have the sword with me, and one of the requirements, as far as I remembered, was to use it in the process. Besides, exactly what part of this silly predicament would be the “heroic deed”? Chasing the witches? Fighting with them on the island? Making our way back? Give me a break. Killing three old hags who couldn’t even hold a weapon hardly qualified as an act of heroism. The serpent was scary enough, I supposed, but I didn’t have to fight him or anything like that. I doubted any of it would count.

  Triar watched me, probably guessing pretty accurately what I was thinking.

  I drew the sword. The blade was flickering with orange sparks the same way as before. No improvement.

  “I knew it,” I muttered under my breath. What a waste of time.

  I didn’t say it aloud though, for Reggie’s sake. He was standing in my hood, peeking over my shoulder.

  “Disappointed?” Triar asked.

  “Nah, why would I be? I love magical passages, tropical islands, mermen, sea serpents, and such.”

  The hermit’s eyes widened. “Did you just say mermen?”

  “I did.”

  “Then how is it that you’re still alive?”

  I looked at him, the encounter with Lord Leomaris replaying in my mind, particularly his parting words. So he wasn’t kidding, huh.

  “They weren’t that bad,” I replied, shrugging. “I would even say they were very civil. Gave us a ride on the serpent, entertained with a pleasant conversation. And then gave me this.”

  I showed him the bracelet.

  Triar stared at it as if it was a coiled snake ready to strike.

  “If that’s not a sea lord’s tartina…” When he finally tore his eyes off of the golden fish, he regarded me with nothing short of awe.

  “What’s a sardina?” Reggie asked.

  Triar barely glanced at him. “Let’s—let’s go inside. This is a tale I must hear in every detail.”

  We went to the house, where we were greeted by Frederick. It turned out that he and two other Swirgs had been staying with Triar, helping to watch out for possible threats.

  “Reggie!!” he shouted, running to us with outstretched arms.

  The little Swirg slid off my shoulder, and Frederick grabbed him into a fierce hug.

  “Mr. Arkus, what you did for us—”

  I held up a hand. “Not now, Frederick.”

  Not ever.

  “They are tired after their journey,” Triar told him, “and hungry, I bet. Why don’t you guys help set the table?”

  “Sure! I am sending Benedict to the queen, but Augustine and I will be happy to do that.”

  They got to work, and soon we sat down to feast on Triar’s delicious soup and blueberry pie. The hermit hung to every word as we shared our adventures. I managed to convince Reggie to wait with his performance of the battle until all the Swirgs could see it, so he settled for making comments and corrections. Triar asked a question or two to clarify something, but mostly he just sat there, listening, alternatively nodding and shaking his head. He continued the latter for quite a while after we finished the story.

  “You spoke to a sea lord,” he said at last. “Rode with him on his serpent. And not only you survived, he gave you his tartina—the extremely valuable emergency messenger that only the most influential of the seafolk possess. Normally, such a treasure is given to closest kin—a son, a brother, a wife. My dear Lord Arkus, you are a living legend.”

  Well. Not the worst thing to be called, I supposed.

  “As long as you keep this legend to yourself, I don’t mind,” I told him. “All right, enough of that. Let’s get back to business. Now that we can’t reach Kellemar on time, have you come up with anything else for me to do?”

  Triar regarded me, a hint of a sly smile showing on his lips.

  “Actually, you can still make it to the Tenebrous Valley. Isn’t that right, Frederick?”

  “Oh, yeah!” The Swirg hurried to process a large bite of pie he’d just taken. “You can use our underground tunnels. It will save you days! Triar and I talked about it, and the queen has approved. We usually try to keep humans out, but, well, you’re one big exception.”

  I looked at Frederick, not sure whether I wanted to thank or slap him.

  “Really? You have a tunnel that leads all the way to the Tenebrous Valley?”

  “Yep. It won’t take you there as fast as the witches’ passage did, but it’s a huge shortcut since it goes nearly in a straight line. No mountains or rivers to cross. You’ll be there in a day.”

  “Wow. That’s indeed a huge shortcut…”

  I didn’t like Triar’s amused expression at all. Yes, he knew I didn’t want to do this; but he also knew I would, for Jarvi’s sake. Nothing funny.

  “Well, Archie, I hope you’ve rested because we pack and leave tonight.”

  ***

  And so we left, wasting no more time. Cassandra renewed her disguise as Archie, reapplying the “scar.” I made sure we had enough torches. I took the second blade with me as well—no more playing in the dark, wondering whether it was all right to draw my weapon.

  Triar caught me alone in the barn, right before our departure. I was loading supplies while Cassandra went to fetch water for the horses. The hermit approached and stood next to me for several moments, watching in silence.

  “I hope you don’t consider your latest adventure totally useless.”

  “T
he sword says it was.”

  He shook his head. “The sword only indicates that the Deed of Cool Mind is not yet accomplished. Things you have experienced and learned are invaluable. Not to mention that you saved Reggie.”

  “The witches weren’t going to harm him, they only wanted to blackmail the others.”

  “Oh, really? So what would the Swirgs have to do? Give up their secrets? If they refused, or even delayed, the witches would have very likely harmed Reggie. I thought you knew enough about kidnapping and blackmailing to be aware of that.”

  “Well, still. You know what I’m in it for. And right now, it’s not happening.”

  Triar gave an enigmatic smile. “This sword is unlike anything you or I have ever dealt with. We know nothing for sure, we only speculate and guess. It might yet surprise you.”

  “What on earth do you mean?”

  Another exasperating smile. “I hardly know myself. Intuition is difficult to put into words.”

  Leaving him to his intuition, I proceeded to load the rest of supplies and led the horses out of the barn.

  When we entered the caves, we saw crowds of Swirgs gathered to greet us and see us go. I had to endure their cheering and politely listen to Queen Wilhelmina’s short speech about how she wished to see us back soon so that Reggie’s rescue could be properly celebrated and rewarded. They all followed us to the right tunnel and stood waving as we rode in and began our underground journey. Reggie and Frederick were the only ones who went with us. The little Swirg didn’t want to part, he begged to let him ride with us for a while. Frederick didn’t want him to go back alone, so he joined us as well.

  Reggie sat on my shoulder, unusually quiet. When Frederick told him it was time to return, he didn’t protest, against all expectations.

  “Thank you, Mr. Arkus,” he said, his large yellow eyes moist. “And you, Cassandra. I will miss you both so much. Farewell.”

  “Cheer up, think of all the stories you’ve got to tell,” I answered, bringing a small smile to his face.

  He slid off my shoulder and started climbing down the horse’s leg onto the ground. Frederick, who rode with Cassandra, rose to do the same but paused and turned to me, suddenly very serious.

  “I want to warn you about something, Mr. Arkus. You really need to stop impersonating Lord Arkus, the villain. Reggie told me you’d introduced yourself as him to the merman, and I’ve heard Triar address you ‘Lord Arkus’ as well. I don’t know why you are doing it, but you are playing with fire. He is very dangerous. If he finds out, you will be in big trouble.”

  “Thank you, Frederick,” I said in a most heartfelt way. And I meant it. It was the best thing I heard since this stupid quest had begun.

  He bowed. “Farewell. Oh, and one more thing: there will be a big snake about halfway through the tunnel. Just ignore her, she won’t be a problem. She knows you’re coming and she’ll let you pass.”

  The two Swirgs jumped off onto the ground, waved to us and headed back.

  Cassandra and I continued on our way. The tunnel was wide enough for us to ride easily side by side. Our horses, uneasy at first, were now more or less used to the darkness, no longer getting spooked by rare sounds like dripping water or rustling of a rat. Except for being on horseback, everything was just like when we had entered the Sarwean caves for the first time.

  “Why do I keep getting the feeling that I’m going in circles?” I muttered.

  Cassandra turned to me, her face reddish-yellow in the torch light. “Hey. You’ve determined that this whole thing works, and you’ve got one deed accomplished. That’s something.”

  “Yes, I suppose so,” I said, suppressing a sigh.

  We decided to ride through without camping for the night. Sleeping in this place just didn’t seem like a good idea, despite the Swirgs’ assurance of complete safety. It would be a stretch, but we figured we’d rather rest when we were back above ground. Making only brief stops to feed and water the horses, we kept moving along, mostly in silence.

  The “big snake” was coiled in a niche, we nearly passed it without noticing when all of a sudden two eyes lit up, reflecting our torch light. Once again, the Swirg sizing scale was off, only this time in the other direction. It wasn’t just “big.” It could easily bring down a horse. A twisted skeleton on the ground testified what it could do to a human.

  “Yeah, it’s a little on the big side,” Cassandra whispered.

  “No kidding.”

  I placed my hand on the sword hilt, just in case, but the reptile didn’t strike. The gleaming eyes just watched us, the head turning as we moved by. The horses snorted and hurried to leave the spot without being prodded. I didn’t blame them.

  “Our friends Swirgs are full of surprises,” I said when we were a safe distance away. “I wonder what other guards they have scattered in their tunnels and caves.”

  “I’d think nothing as impressive as Merwyn,” Cassandra replied.

  I had to agree. “No, probably not.”

  The lack of rest and sleep began taking its toll on us. We talked, trying to stay awake.

  “Have you thought of how we will approach Prince Kellemar?” Cassandra asked. “He must have bodyguards.”

  I nodded. “Of course, he rarely ventures out without them. If they are new and don’t know me, we might be able to get past them without a fight. And I think there’s a good chance of that since he is in the habit of often changing his personal guards.”

  “Why?”

  “I am to blame for that, actually. I kept proving them useless.”

  Cassandra turned to me, eyes alight with curiosity. “How? Do tell, I’ve got to hear that!”

  “Well, first I had captured him and got a nice sum of ransom money from his father, King Ramian. Kellemar was with his guards, but they weren’t much help. Naturally, he’d fired them. He’d gotten new ones, big but dumb. You cry ‘Fire!’ and they believe it without checking, even if it rains. They were a worthless pair, and I couldn’t resist showing it to him.”

  “What did you do? Captured him again?”

  “No. I could have, but that wouldn’t be any fun. I caught them instead, had my guys dip them in blueberry juice and let them go.”

  Cassandra coughed, choking with laughter. “Oh, I bet he was mad!”

  “Not so much as the next time, when he’d hired himself yet another pair.”

  “Dare I ask what you did with those?”

  “Ambushed them in the forest and sent back wearing dresses.”

  “You didn’t!”

  “Oh yeah. Believe me, Kellemar has enough reasons to hate me.”

  Cassandra grew serious. “Well, from what I’ve heard, you have even more reasons. The last time you met, he’d attacked you when you were unarmed, isn’t that so? And wounded you.”

  “You are surprisingly well informed. How do you know this?”

  She seemed caught off guard. “I… heard people talk, I guess. Don’t remember where. You’re quite famous, you know.”

  Not many people knew what had happened between me and Kellemar that day when he nearly killed Prince Philip. In fact, I couldn’t imagine anyone knowing besides Philip and Kellemar. Kellemar wouldn’t be sharing this story, and if Philip talked, he’d be talking about The Lakeland Knight saving him, not Lord Arkus. He had promised to keep my identity secret.

  “Are you sure you can’t remember whom you heard talking about it?” I asked. “Because I would really like to know.”

  Cassandra shook her head. “No, can’t recall.”

  The sun was starting to set outside when we finally made it through the tunnel. The exit was nearly blocked with shrubbery. A Swirg would have no problem sneaking in or out; two humans on horseback were a different story. Thankfully, the shrubs had no thorns, and the branches were not intertwined. We were able to part them and make our way out without doing any damage to the shrubs or ourselves.

  A tall man stood waiting a few steps away, leaning against a tree. It had been a while since I saw
Ellar in his human form, but his bright green hair helped me recognize him at once.

  “Hi there,” I said. “Long time, no see. You forgot the hair again.”

  “Oops.” He ran his hand over the hair, instantly turning it black. “I can’t believe I did it again. This is rather embarrassing, for a spirit. We normally don’t forget stuff.”

  “Wait till you ruin some errand of Faradin’s because of it, he’ll get you shaved.”

  I noticed Cassandra’s astonished gaze fixed on the sparkling.

  “This is Ellar, a sparkling, Jarvi’s friend. He’s helped me out of a tough situation a couple of times, but unfortunately he is not very reliable.” I turned to him. “And this is Cassandra, a compassionate soul who helps me stay sane through this whole mess.”

  “An unusual name for a lad,” Ellar said. His smile indicated he knew much more than he was showing.

  “Come on, drop the pretense. I bet you already know all about her.”

  “Indeed I do.” He bowed his head to her. “Pleasure to meet you. And why, if I may ask, have you just called me unreliable?” he asked, turning to me.

  “I kind of hoped to see you on the island, you know. Or when we were crossing the sea.”

  A hint of a smile playing in Ellar’s eyes vanished. “I would have come if I could. There were reasons I didn’t. You must take my word for it.”

  “Of course I must, what choice do I have?”

  Ellar ignored my remark. He kept looking at me, his expression serious. “You stood quite a test there on the island. I am proud of you.”

  I regarded him with a degree of suspicion. He didn’t appear to be joking.

  “If it will help to redeem myself in your eyes,” the sparkling continued, “I’ll say that I was protecting her.”

  Deep down, I had known it all along. It might have felt that Cassandra and I were left to our own devices out there, but we weren’t.

  “It will,” I nodded. “So what brings you here now? In the human form, no less. From my experience, you usually show up when there’s imminent danger. Are we in trouble?”