by E. L. Todd
“Then why did you leave?”
I held my kindle in my fingertips and felt warm. “I just did.”
He sat on the other couch and continued to drill me with his eyes. “Does this have anything to do with the woman in my office?”
I didn’t know what to say. “No.”
“Look at me.” His voice contained his authority.
I put my kindle down and faced him. There was anger and fear in his eyes.
“Why are you upset?”
“I’m not,” I lied.
“Don’t waste my time,” he said darkly. “If we’re going to have this baby together and rebuild our relationship, you can’t feed me lines.”
“Then you can’t run around with other hussies.”
He didn’t react at all. “So you are mad about that woman.”
I didn’t confirm it.
“Why didn’t you just ask?”
I turned away.
“Clementine.”
My head automatically turned back in his direction.
“If you want to know something, just ask.”
“Are you sleeping with her?” I asked quietly, afraid of the answer.
“No. I was.”
My eyes closed because his words hurt.
“The last time I slept with her was months ago. She wanted something serious. I didn’t. When she came to my office, she wanted another chance. I explained to her that I’m with you and I’m having a baby. She wasn’t happy about that.”
“And that was it…?”
“There was no kiss goodbye,” he said quietly. “I told you I would be faithful to you. When have I ever made you think otherwise?”
“I just…wasn’t sure why she was there.”
“I only want you,” he said. “I’m not sure how many times I need to say that.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “She was really pretty.” I wasn’t sure why I said that.
“She’s got nothing on you.” He didn’t blink as he said it.
“How many women did you sleep with when we were apart?”
“A lot.” He said it without remorse. “I was insanely depressed and wanted to get over you. It didn’t work—whatsoever.”
“Oh…” I didn’t know what to say.
“You have no right to be upset. You’re the one who didn’t want me.”
“I know…”
“Then let’s move on.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I guess I was a little jealous…”
He stared at me for a full minute. “You have no reason to be jealous. All those women are jealous of you.”
I stared at my hands in my lap.
“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said. “But I would never hurt you or betray your trust. If you see me with a woman, it’s probably me trying to get away from her.”
“I don’t want to see you with women—period.”
“I’ll work on it,” he said. “But that’s out of my control.”
I knew I was being unfair.
“Why did you come to my office at all?” he asked.
I forgot about the reason until now. “I…I wanted to talk about us.”
“And what about us?” he asked calmly.
“About us sleeping together.”
He waited for me to elaborate.
“I don’t want to hurt you. So, does us having a physical relationship hurt you?”
“Does it seem like you’re hurting me?” There was a playful look in his eyes.
“I’m being serious,” I said. “I’m just using you.”
“I don’t mind at all, darling.” He leaned back in the chair while he kept looking at me. “Use me all you want. As long as I’m the only man you turn to, I don’t give a damn.”
“Because I do want to work on this relationship but I don’t want to rush it.”
“I understand they are two different kinds of relationships,” he said. “You can stop overthinking it.”
“I just wanted to make sure…”
“Our relationship is the most complicated thing on the bloody planet,” he said. “It’s confusing and doesn’t make any sense most of the time. You don’t trust me but you give yourself to me and only me. I think we are together, you trust me, and we’re in love. I just don’t think you realize it or will allow yourself to realize it. That’s fine with me. Take all the time you need. I love making love to you anyway.”
I stared at my hands in my lap.
He leaned forward. “So, are we okay?”
I nodded.
“Good. There is one request I have, however.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t kiss me unless you’re ready.” He accompanied the words with a specific look.
I understood the meaning. “Okay.”
He rose from the couch. “I’m going to head to the gym. I’ll see you later.”
I remained sitting. “Want to come over for dinner?”
He turned back around and faced me. “I’d love to.”
“I’ll see you then.”
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. Then wordlessly, he left.
***
Ward walked inside with a wine bottle in hand. “I thought I would bring something…” He set it on the counter.
I was facing the stove and stirring a pot. “Ward, I can’t drink remember?” I’m surprised the thought slipped his mind.
“It’s sparkling apple cider.” He came to my side and looked into the pot. “I’d never forget, darling.”
I kept stirring.
“Need any help?”
“No, I’m pretty much done.”
“How about I set the table?”
“Okay, that sounds like a good idea.”
Ward grabbed the plates and silverware and set the table in the sitting area. I finished cooking and set everything on plates before I carried it to the table. Ward already poured two glasses of cider before he sat down.
“So, how was the gym?” I asked.
“Packed. I feel like new people sign up every month.”
“I need to join one after this baby gets here,” I said. “I’ve already gained ten pounds…”
“That’s probably the baby, darling.” He cut into his lasagna.
“What are you going to do with all your things in London?” I asked. I didn’t want to broach the subject but we had to discuss it anyway.
He released a deep sigh like he’d already been thinking about it—excessively. “I guess I’ll have to sell it.” He stopped eating for a moment and just stared at his plate.
I gave him a sad look. “Or we can keep it. It’ll be a place for us to stay when we come visit.”
“True…but that would be a waste of money. It would make more sense to stay at a hotel or with my mom.”
I was trying to find a way for Ward to keep both things. It didn’t seem like there was a solution. “Do we have to decide right now?”
“I guess not,” he said. “But that sounds like procrastination to me.”
“It’s not like we’re tight on money,” I said. “You should be able to keep your bachelor pad.”
He released a light chuckle. “I’m not a bachelor anymore.”
I stared at my food and didn’t say anything.
“I’m responsible for two other people now—whether we’re married or not.”
I kept my gaze averted. “You know, you can give up your apartment and live here…” I don’t know what possessed me to say that. I acted impulsively. But now the words were out and I had to keep going. “It would save you money so you could keep your other place…” I kept staring at my food so I wouldn’t have to look at him.
“Did you just ask me to move in with you?” He rested both elbows on the table while he stared at me.
“Uh…” I guess I did. “Yeah.”
“Here? Together?” He gave me an incredulous look.
“It’s just an option. I know you’re giving up a lot to live in America. I want you to have the things that
make you happy. It’s a compromise.”
“So, you would actually want me to live here?” He still seemed surprised.
“This house has a lot of extra bedrooms. It’s not like space is an issue.”
He held his fork but didn’t eat another bite. “Is this request genuine? Is this something you really want?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m just trying to figure this out. You don’t have to stop living your life just because we’re having a baby together. You should still be able to keep your identity and the things you enjoy.”
“Darling, I’m not short on money. My place in London is paid off. I bought it ten years ago. If I sell it, I’ll be making an enormous profit from it. I can afford to live on my own and keep that place.”
“Then…don’t sell it.”
“I just want you to know that if I agree to move in with you, it’s not because I don’t have a choice. It’s because I want to. Now, this is the real question. Are you sure you want to live with me?” He stared into my face and watched my expression.
“I…” I picked at my food so I had something to do.
“Okay, then.” He kept eating and dropped the conversation.
I knew I hurt Ward and I didn’t mean to. In the back of my mind, I knew having him live with me would be a good idea. I expected it would happen anyway, down the road. And it would be nice to have a man in the house, someone to keep me safe and keep me warm at night. Maybe we weren’t perfect now but we would be. “I do want you to live with me.”
He stopped eating and looked at me again. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “I mean, it’s going to happen anyway, right? And you’ll be around the baby all the time. And…I want to sleep with you.”
“It will happen anyway,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean it needs to happen now.”
I kept my eyes glued to my plate.
“Darling, look at me.”
My eyes met his.
“This is the last time I’m going to ask you. You’re sure you want this to happen?”
I was in love with Ward and I would always be in love with Ward. We may as well give this relationship all that we had. I broke up with him because it was the right thing to do. And now we were only back together because of our baby. But that was our reality. We had another chance to make this work. Shouldn’t we try? “Yes.”
He gave me a smile for the first time that day. “I’d love to live with you, Clementine. But I hope you realize that means another man will never come near you. I’ll be sure of that.”
“I don’t want anyone else but you.” I blurted that out without thinking.
Ward watched me, analyzing me with just his eyes. “And we already know I feel the same way.”
***
After we finished dinner and cleaned the dishes, Ward headed to the door. “Well, thank you for dinner. I’ll start getting my stuff organized.”
“Right this second?” I asked in disbelief.
He turned around. “Well, I won’t get much done tonight. But, I’ll get something done.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him. I was disappointed he wouldn’t be sleeping here. We hadn’t been together in a few days. My hormones were all over the place and dictated my life.
“Something wrong?” he asked, looking at me.
“No,” I lied. I wasn’t sure why I wouldn’t just tell him. I was embarrassed, I guess. It seemed a little aggressive that I wanted him all the time. And I had a huge belly to carry around. He said he was attracted to me, but how could he be?
“Well, I’ll see you later.” He opened the door and stepped out.
I watched his receding back, feeling desperate with every step he took. Then I gave in. “Ward.”
He was at the end of the steps when he turned around.
“You want to sleep over…?” I didn’t know where my confidence went. My personality had changed slightly since my son started to grow inside me.
Ward ascended the stairs slowly until he reached me. “All you have to do is ask.” He stepped inside and shut the door. “I want you all the time. But you need to make it clear when you want me. Because I can’t read your mind.”
“I want you every night,” I blurted.
He came closer to me then wrapped his arm around my waist. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He tilted my head back then trailed kisses along my neck and jawline. I melted at the touch, loving it when his lips were on me. He knew what I liked. “I love the way you taste. It’s permanently ingrained into my mind.” He scooped me into his arms then carried me up the stairs. My extra weight didn’t seem to bother him.
He slowly laid me on the bed then peeled my clothes away. Then he kissed my inner thighs before he yanked my underwear off. My hands fidgeted with his clothes, trying to get them off as quickly as possible. Once he was shirtless, I felt his muscled chest and moaned. Every time I had him I wanted more.
When we were both naked, he kissed my swollen breasts then groped them with his large palm. Then he slipped inside me, stretching me immediately. I pulled him further into me, needing everything he could give.
“Ward…”
He moved my legs back until they were touching my sides. It was the only way we could have sex in the missionary position because of my stomach. Ward’s hands were under my ass as he pounded into me, giving me everything he had.
My hands moved up and down his chest, feeling the slab of concrete under my fingers. He started to sweat and I felt the moisture under my fingertips. We hadn’t been going for long but I was already at my threshold. That was how good he was.
My head rolled back as the spark moved through my body. I groaned all the way to the end.
Ward couldn’t hold on much longer and he released inside me, filling me with the seed that was already growing inside me. He grunted as he finished, breathing hard with sweat dripping down his forehead. Then he lay in bed beside me, trying to catch his breath.
I was happy and satisfied. Only Ward could give me what I needed every time. I immediately snuggled into his side and rested my hand over his heart, wanting to fell it beat under my fingertips.
His hand moved to my stomach, like usual. “Somehow our sex is a million times better. I want you to be pregnant forever.”
“When I get even bigger I doubt you’ll still think that.”
“The bigger you get, the hotter I get.” He grabbed his phone from the floor then set his alarm. Then he left it on the nightstand.
I snuggled into his side, using him as a teddy bear.
“If you give me a few moments, I can go again.”
“I’m pretty tired…” I tucked one leg between his.
“We’ll pick it up in the morning.” He turned my way then kissed my forehead. “Good night, darling.”
I held him tighter. “Good night.” My eyes fell and I started to drift.
Then his phone rang.
Ward grabbed it from the nightstand and silenced it. Then he returned it.
I didn’t know who would be calling him this late but I didn’t want to know. I didn’t even open my eyes. I was grateful he was lying in this bed with me instead of with someone else. I appreciated him even more.
Then his phone rang again.
Ward grabbed it and silenced it.
My eyes flashed open and I caught the name on the screen.
Giselle.
Ward returned it before he settled down, closing his eyes to sleep.
Then the goddamn phone rang again.
Ward growled when he grabbed it.
This time I yanked it out of his hand and answered it. “Ward is taken. Back off.” Then I hung up and threw the phone on the ground. I settled back down to sleep.
Ward watched me with a smirk on his lips.
“What?” I wasn’t in a good mood.
“Nothing.”
“Better be nothing…”
“It’s just…” He kept smiling. “
You want me to sleep with you every night, you get jealous over all the other girls, and then you ask me to move in with you…”
“So?”
He shrugged. “Just thought it was interesting.”
“Why is that interesting?”
He closed his eyes. “Forget I said anything.”
***
I was doing a lot of work for Mike and Conrad since Sean and Skye were out of the office. I didn’t mind because they were easy to work with too. I was glad Sean and Skye were taking a break from work. After what they’d been through, they deserved a long break.
The hours went by slowly and I kept thinking about my evening with Ward. I asked him to move in and we had the best session of sex we’ve ever had. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I wanted him, but I wanted him at a distance at the same time. It didn’t make any sense.
And the longer I thought about him, the more I wanted him. I knew he was in his office down the hall. I wondered what suit he was wearing. Was it the gray one that brought out his eyes? Was he wearing his jacket or was it on the back of his chair? Did his collared shirt highlight every slab of muscle on that beautiful physique?
Geez, I was a slut.
My legs carried me down the hallway to his office even though my mind was in disagreement. But I wanted it—bad. We were at work and people were around. But that didn’t seem to matter to my raging hormones.
Fortunately, Ward was alone in his office. I shut the door behind me and approached his desk. He was wearing the gray suit. And his jacket was over the back of his chair.
Was that a sign or what?
He looked up from his computer. “Hey, darling. What can I do for the most beautiful woman in the world?”
When he said sweet things like that to me I melted—right at his feet. “Are you busy?”
“I’m never too busy for you.” He turned away from his computer and gave me his full attention. “What can I help you with? If Mike is looking for the reports I need another hour.”
“No…” I approached his desk and started to move around it.
“Then why have you graced me with your appearance?” he asked. “You want to get lunch in a few hours?”
I don’t know what possessed me to do it but I straddled his hips and sat in his lap, my swollen stomach touching the slate of steel of his stomach. My arms moved around his neck as I looked down at him.
“Awe…I see.” He gave me an amused look. “Last night and this morning wasn’t enough?”