Black Light: Scandalized

by Grant, Livia

  “Well, shit, I’ll put on some coffee. Sounds like we all need it.”

  “The hell with coffee. I’ll take a shot of whiskey,” Shane answered, slamming the front door closed behind him, following Nolan deeper into the luxury home.

  “Whoa there. It can’t be that bad. I thought you guys got through the worst of it.”

  “The worst of what?” A sleepy looking Piper met them in the kitchen. It wasn’t often Shane, or anyone, got to see the award-winning actress without her makeup or dripping in her signature diamonds. He took it as a sign of their true friendship, she didn’t seem bothered in the least.

  Shane had to tamp down his jealousy as he watched Boeing hug his fiancée from behind, snuggling in to place a sexy kiss in the crook of her neck, her uncharacteristic giggle filling the space.

  This was supposed to be him and Nalani, tomorrow morning in their own kitchen. He was, of course, thrilled for his good friends, but Shane selfishly wanted his own happily-ever-after.

  Watching them reminded him he was definitely a fifth wheel. He was tempted to retreat to give them privacy, but a fresh wave of crushing anger reminded him of why he’d come in the first place.

  “I need your help,” he blurted, grabbing the attention back from the lovers, who almost seemed to forget he was there.

  Shane pushed down his guilt. Piper had already helped him more than he deserved. He could only imagine the bravery it had taken her to come forward and publicly accuse Henry Ainsworth. The fourteen additional women who had come forward in the three months since that fateful press conference had helped ease his guilt. Still, it felt wrong to ask her for more.

  “What is it?” she asked, popping a bite of melon in her mouth.

  He pushed through his guilt. “It’s Nalani.”

  “Yeah, well, I sort of figured. Nothing other than love would get you here before eight,” she sassed.

  “She broke up with me.” He hated to even think the words, let alone say them. “We were supposed to be moving into our new house today, and she waited to spring it on me that she’s not moving with me.”

  “Shit. That sucks, but what is it you think I’m going to be able to do to help?”

  “You need to talk to her. Tell her she’s making a mistake.”

  “Oh, is that all?”

  He didn’t like her mocking tone.

  “Yeah, she looks up to you. Like it or not, you two have bonded over the last few months. I’m so grateful to you for talking with her. Helping her through her recovery.”

  “And you think that gives me the right to tell her what to do with her life?”

  “I didn’t say that. It’s just… she’s not thinking clearly. She’s making rash decisions.”

  “Oh, I see. And you aren’t?” Piper accused.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Did you even ask if her she wanted to move in with you? Or did you just assume she would move with you when the house was done?”

  “Is this a trick question? We’ve been living together at Runway for three months. Hell, even longer. We’d been together there in the weeks leading up to… well… Oscar night.”

  “You can’t even say it, can you?” Piper asked.

  “Say what?”

  “Her rape. Her attack. The night she almost died.” All of those would be more accurate than Oscar night.

  “What the hell does it matter what I call that night? It was the fucking worst day of her life. I don’t think me using shitty labels that remind us of that will help.”

  Piper walked to the fridge and took out a small bottle of orange juice, taking a swig before speaking again.

  “I need to ask you a question, and you aren’t going to like it, but I’m gonna ask it anyway.” She waited several long seconds before pinning him with her best Mistress Ice glare. “Would you still be asking Nalani to move in with you if she hadn’t been attacked?”

  “What the hell kinda question is that? Of course, I would!”

  “Really? Are you absolutely sure about that?”

  “What the fuck! I didn’t come here to have you kick me while I’m down.”

  “Really? So, why did you come here?”

  “I told you. I need you to talk to her and tell her she’s making a big mistake.”

  The Mistress Ice glare softened, but her words were harsh, nonetheless.

  “And what if I don’t think she’s making a mistake?”

  “What the fuck? I thought you were my friend.”

  “I am your friend. And I’d like to think I’m Nalani’s friend, too.” When Shane couldn’t think of a single thing to say, Piper continued on.

  “Listen, you two have been dealt a really shitty hand. It was always going to be an uphill battle. The media was bound to crucify you both even before the attack. Put yourself in her shoes for one minute. A young woman who had a horrific childhood… with secrets she was desperate to keep from getting out… dating Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor. I speak from experience when I say the media is brutal when it smells blood in the water. You dating a housekeeper was just too salacious a story for them to pass up. Add to it the Ainsworth debacle, and she’s looking at never being able to have one free moment of privacy outside of Runway ever again. Staying with you only makes it worse.”

  “So, that’s it? She’s too afraid of a little media coverage to stick it out?”

  Piper took a seat next to Nolan at the kitchen eat-in island before answering.

  “No, I’m saying that was always going to be an uphill battle you’d have to face. Now, that’s just the secondary problem.”

  “Oh, and what is the primary problem, oh wise one?”

  “Hey, you came here for my help, remember? I can’t help it if you don’t like what I have to say.”

  “Fine.” Shane forced himself to take a deep breath to keep from yelling. “You’re right. I just need to know how I can make this better.”

  “That’s the thing. You might not be able to, Shane.”

  “I refuse to believe that. I love her. We have to figure this out.”

  “Okay, so you love her. You’ve been living in the mansion. Have you taken her down to Black Light again yet?”

  “Are you insane? You of all people should know why I’m not taking her there.”

  “Oh, I understand, and I even admire you for your restraint, but don’t you think she realizes what you’re doing?”

  “What’s that? Loving her? Protecting her?”

  “I was actually referring to the fact you’ve turned yourself into a monk because you somehow think that’s what she needs.”

  “Isn’t it? She has nightmares of the attack. And I resent that. I’m no monk.”

  “Really. So, you two have had sex since the attack?”

  “That’s none of your damn business.”

  “And yet you’re here,”—Piper waved her hands around the kitchen—“asking for my help before coffee.”

  “For your information, we made love just last week for the first time since the attack. It went really well.”

  “Uh huh. It sounds amazing. Really well.”

  “What do you want? She was scared. I was scared I was going to traumatize her. All things considered, I think it went… fuck… really well,” he finished lamely.

  “You need to give her more time. And you need to stop assuming you know what she needs or wants. She already feels powerless against Ainsworth and now the media.”

  “Now you sound like her. She accused me of being too soft.”

  “Well, are you?”

  “Maybe. So, what if I am? I’m just trying to protect her while she’s healing.”

  Boeing got up and poured three cups of the freshly brewed coffee while they’d been talking. As he set the mug down in front of Shane, he jumped into the conversation.

  “Piper and Nalani’s situations are totally different since Piper has had years to come to terms with what Ainsworth did to her, but I know a little about what you’re going throug
h. Sometimes, it’s not easy knowing the right thing to do and say when our women give us mixed signals.”

  “You do realize I’m sitting right here, right?” Piper interjected.

  Nolan turned to answer her. “Case in point. Three days ago, you were in a rare mood, ready to bite every person’s head off who came into contact with you. I recommended a nice session over my spanking bench, along with my belt, might relieve you of your stress, but you accused me of being a barbarian.

  “I then offered to let Mistress Ice take out her frustration on my ass instead. I was hoping you’d get whatever it was that was bothering you out of your system, only to have you scream at me that I was a wimp, and you hated it when I let you walk all over me. What part of your behavior that day was not an example of sending me mixed signals?”

  “Careful there, Boeing. For the record, I do hate when you treat me like glass.”

  “Damnit, not you too. Nalani just used those exact words with me this morning, accusing me of treating her like she was glass.”

  Nolan whistled. “I don’t envy you one bit. Piper’s had years to recover, and sometimes, I still worry I’m pushing her too hard in the bedroom. I don’t know how I would have reacted had I known what she was going through five years ago. I suspect Ainsworth would have been dead, and I’d be in jail.”

  Shane took a gulp of the hot coffee before verbalizing his real fear with his good friends.

  “I’ve got another problem you don’t have, Boeing.” He looked up and confirmed they were still waiting for him to continue. “We’re all in the BDSM lifestyle. Like you, as a Dom, I feel responsible for—protective of my sub. But as you might have noticed, I have some rather unique and specific kinks I’ve had to rein in since her attack.”

  “And Nalani is worried you aren’t going to be able to rein that part of you in forever?”

  “She pretty much admitted as much this morning.”

  “And? Do you think she’s right?” Piper asked.

  Shane wanted so badly to deny it, but he forced himself to be honest. If not with Piper, then at least with himself. “Well… she’s not completely wrong.”

  “And so, the real question you came here to ask me this morning is if there will ever be a time she’ll trust you enough to unleash that part of yourself again?”

  He hadn’t known that was his question, but now that she’d verbalized it, he knew his and Nalani’s entire future hung on the answer to that pointed question. He wanted so badly to be angry with Nalani for not giving him the benefit of the doubt, for assuming he wouldn’t be able to push down his own sexual kinks in order not to traumatize the woman he loved.

  He couldn’t be mad that she’d known what he hadn’t wanted to face—his unique kinks were part of his DNA. He’d increasingly had to push down the dark memories of Nalani on her knees, his cock down her throat as tears smeared mascara down her face. The entire time he’d made sweet love to her the week before, his mind had remembered how much he loved to hear her scream his name when he’d previously tied her down and fucked her silly.

  “Well, will she?” he prodded, not bothering to try to defend himself.

  Shane hated the pity he saw in Piper’s eyes as she gave him a less than satisfying answer.

  “I have absolutely no idea, Shane. And here’s the thing. I don’t think Nalani knows either. She just knows she’s scared and loves you too much to ask you to change who you are.”

  “So, now what? I just let her walk out of my life? We both pretend we don’t notice that half our heart is missing?”

  “We see how well that worked for us, didn’t we, baby?” Nolan prompted his fiancée.

  “Well, I’m not gonna wait around for five years like you guys did, hoping she comes back to me.”

  “What’s your alternative?” Piper asked.

  Shane’s brain was racing, scrambling to come up with a path forward that would bring Nalani back to him. A solution that would keep her safe… loved… and both of them whole.

  “Trust…” he said to no one in particular.

  “What?”

  “Before, you said the word trust. That she didn’t trust me enough to unleash that part of myself.”

  “Right. After all, isn’t that what the BDSM lifestyle is all about, anyway?” Piper added, popping more melon in her mouth.

  Shane’s brain was exploding with conflicting ideas. He needed to go somewhere where he could just think.

  “I need to go.”

  “Go? You just got here. Nolan can make us breakfast. He makes fabulous pancakes.”

  “I’ll take a rain check.”

  “But…”

  He pinned Piper with a glare. “Thank you.”

  “But… I didn’t really help.”

  “You helped more than you can know. I need to go.”

  “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your plan to get her back?”

  “Who said anything about getting her back?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Fine. I just need to figure out a way to test how strong her glass is.”

  “Interesting. Mind if I give you one more piece of advice?”

  “Of course. There’s no one who can possibly understand what she’s going through better than you. That’s why I came here.”

  “Give her a safeword.”

  “She has a safeword,” Shane interjected quickly.

  “I’m not talking about red for in the bedroom or playing at Black Light. A different word she can use when she’s feeling uncomfortable… or afraid or when the nightmare of what she’s gone through is triggered by something she hears or sees. A word that will stop things on a dime.”

  Nolan got up and went to hug Piper from behind.

  “We’ve been using this, and honestly, it’s been a lifesaver. Although I’m pretty sure someone used it last night just to get out of a punishment.”

  “Prove it,” Piper teased.

  Watching the two of them hugging and laughing together made Shane’s heart ache. They had what he wanted. What he knew he could have with Nalani. They’d grown so close together over the last three months. They knew each other’s deepest and darkest secrets, and she loved him anyway.

  He felt calmer already, realizing with a rare certainty, Nalani was perfect for him in every way.

  Now, if only he could convince her to trust him enough to prove it.

  Chapter 27

  Piper weaved her way through the empty rooms of the Runway mansion. She felt like she was trespassing in someone else’s home, which in some ways she was. During business hours, when patrons and partygoers were packed into the upscale social club, it was easy to forget the property had started out as someone’s home before the Cartwright-Davidson’s had reinvented it.

  While there were still employees hanging around on days like today when both clubs were closed, Piper had come to see the only person actually living under the mansion’s roof.

  Peeking out to the expansive stone balcony that looked out over the entire property, Piper found whom she’d come to see. She took a deep breath, and before she could second-guess herself, opened the sliding glass door from the dining area to the patio.

  “Jaxson told me I’d find you out here,” she called out.

  A frightened Nalani spun around in her lounge chair at the sound of Piper’s voice, the fear fading quickly as she recognized her friend.

  “Hey. I wasn’t expecting anyone today.”

  “Yeah, I had to convince the security guards at the gate to let me in. They’re pretty protective of you.”

  The smile on Nalani’s face dipped slightly. “And I do appreciate that more than you can possibly know.”

  Piper stepped out into the early morning sunshine, approaching Nalani as she replied.

  “Honestly, I think I’m one of the few people who truly understands how much you appreciate the protection they provide you.”

  A light of comprehension sparked in Nalani’s eyes. The women had become unlikely friends in the mo
nths since the attack on Nalani. Sharing horrific traumatic events had a way of uniting people. Piper just hoped they were still friends by the time she left that day.

  When Nalani remained silent, Piper asked, “Mind if I sit down?”

  “That depends on why you’re here,” Nalani hedged, suspicious of the visit.

  Piper sat before answering. “You know why I’m here. I’m your friend.”

  “Don’t you mean you’re Shane’s friend? Don’t pretend he didn’t call you and ask you to come tell me what a mistake I’m making.”

  Piper didn’t take the anger she heard in Nalani’s voice personally. In fact, her anger was a good sign she was starting to heal. The outward signs of the attack had faded weeks before, but Piper knew the wounds she carried inside would last a lifetime.

  “I’d like to think I can be friends with both of you. And for the record, Shane came directly to my house yesterday morning after he left here, desperate for me to get involved, but I turned him down.” Piper watched Nalani carefully for her reaction to the news.

  “So then why are you here today?”

  “Because Jaxson called.” She paused, picking her words carefully. “He told me you turned in your resignation yesterday. That you’re moving away to start over somewhere else.”

  Nalani broke eye contact, looking back out across the property to the house in the distance where her bosses and their unique family lived.

  Silence stretched between them until Nalani answered quietly.

  “I just can’t stay here. Everywhere I look are memories. Every day, I can see the pity in everyone’s eyes as they treat me like I’m made of glass. No one knows what to say. They’re all so wonderful and supportive, but…”

  “But you wonder if there will ever be a day when they see you, and the first thought they have isn’t about the attack or how sorry they are for you.”

  Nalani turned to Piper, a spark of life in her eyes.

  “It’s hard enough for me to forget myself, you know?”

  Piper broke their gaze to look out over the property herself before answering. “God, do I ever. The last few months, every time I go into the production office or take a meeting for one of the projects I’m working on, I spend the first ten minutes convincing myself not to run out of the room screaming because I hate the pity on everyone’s face. Or worse, there have been a few angry men accuse me of lying just for the publicity as if I’d staged the whole thing as one big public relations opportunity.”