Black Light: Scandalized
Page 39
It had only been two days, yet they had been miserable soul-searching days. She tried valiantly to remind herself she was being selfish—holding onto a Cinderella fairytale she didn’t have the right to hope could come true. He was Shane Fucking Covington. He deserved the princess, not the damaged pauper.
But standing in the middle of the Runway kitchen, surrounded by the best friends and co-workers anyone could ever ask for, a final spark of hope ignited inside her. Could they find a path to happiness together?
It was Elijah, who had stayed next to them, who offered her a hankie when her crying subsided. Shane loosened his bear hug enough, she could grab the small cloth and use it to wipe her tears and blow her nose.
She was suddenly very aware she hadn’t bothered putting on makeup or even getting dressed before coming down. Yet standing before him in her Runway robe, her hair a disheveled nest, her eyes bloodshot, there was no doubt in her mind, the man looking down at the hot mess she was, loved her anyway, despite her circumstances—in spite of the damage Henry Ainsworth had done to each of them.
Nalani held her breath, scrambling to come up with the right words to say. In her silence, Shane proved he had come up with a plan.
“I’m not letting you go.”
So simple. To the point.
“You aren’t?” she whispered, unable to remember a single reason why she should argue.
“Nope. And I’m done treating you like glass. As much as I hate that you stood up to me yesterday, I’m so grateful you did. You were right, we never would have made it.”
What? She fought down the panic. He was confusing her. Was he just here to offer to be her friend like everyone else? If so, shouldn’t she be grateful?
The naughtiest of grins lit up his handsome face, giving her a hint of what he might be saying. She remained silent, too afraid to ask him to clarify, in case she was wrong.
“So, I have a new word for you to learn.”
“What? A new word?”
“Yep. I’ve decided to trust you, Nalani.”
What the hell was he talking about? He wasn’t making any sense.
“For the last three months, like everyone else, I’ve been walking on eggshells, too afraid to do anything but shield you from anything that might hurt you, including my true nature. I convinced myself I was only doing what was best for you. And honestly, I’m pretty sure I was in those early days. But Piper and Nolan helped me sort a few things out.”
“Oh?”
She couldn’t muster anything more than the single syllable around the lump in her throat.
“So, the new word is time. As in timeout, you need to take a break.”
“What was wrong with just red?”
“Nothing, and red will work fine at Black Light, but timeout is for anytime, day or night, no matter where we are… who we’re with… what we’re doing. When you feel uncomfortable or afraid, all you need to do is ask for a timeout, and I’ll drop whatever is going on and go back into protector mode.”
Her brain raced to understand his plan.
“I’ve been so afraid I would say or do something that would trigger bad memories, I’ve treated you like the glass you accused me of.”
“But I’m not made of glass.”
“I know, kitten. But you aren’t made of Teflon either.”
Truer words had never been spoken.
“So, here is how this is gonna go. I’m gonna do my best to get us back on track. To lead us both through all the bullshit with the media, the police, the DA’s office. Sexually, I’m going to push myself out of my comfort zone and drag you along with me. I’m trusting you to speak up when I go too far—with anything. Can you do that?”
Could she?
“I think so.”
“Good girl. In fact…” For the first time, Shane stepped back and glanced around the room full of her best friends as they listened to their very personal conversation. “You should use the word timeout with anyone in this room. They all love you too, and like me, have been protective of you, but it’s time for things to get back to normal around here. That means no more secret meetings to decide what we can and can’t say to Nalani. From now on, we all use our best judgment on what we do and say, but we aren’t going to hold back if we think she’s making a mistake.”
There was a short pause, then the room broke out into a chaotic clamor with everyone talking at once.
Madison stepped forward, shushing everyone around her.
“Shane’s right. I’ve been biting my tongue, but you can’t leave. Like, you just can’t. This is your home.”
Emma walked around the end of the counter, Alicia bouncing happily at her hip, approaching Shane and Nalani.
“I know how hard it is to be in love with famous, larger-than-life men. I’m so grateful I never had to go through anything close to what you’ve been through with the attack, but like you, I tried to run away from the brutal media coverage when the press started picking apart everything about me, from my weight to my lack of money or fame.”
“Emma…” Jaxson scolded his wife from across the room. “You’d better not be putting yourself down young lady, or you’re gonna be going to bed with a burning bottom tonight.”
Jaxson’s dominant warning to his wife had Nalani’s insides melting. How in the world could she even want such a thing after all she’d been through? Still, there was no denying the thought of Shane spanking her sparked a sexual need she’d worried was dead.
“I wasn’t putting myself down at all. I was just repeating the historical facts of early in our relationship… sir,” Emma grinned.
Jaxson growled but accepted her answer as the truth.
“All I’m trying to say is how grateful I am I didn’t let my fear keep me from following my heart. You and Shane are magnificent together. Anyone close to you can see that. Don’t throw it away just because you’re afraid.”
Nalani’s glanced behind Emma, where Shane was watching her with interest. She watched his smile turn into a dominant glare, full of sexual heat.
“I brought a few gifts I want to share with you, kitten. Feeling up to a trip downstairs?”
“Downstairs… now? Tonight? But the club is closed on Tuesdays.”
“Exactly. Don’t you think it’s best if we go there alone to talk about things before we have an audience?”
“Talk about things?”
God, she’d missed his mischievous grin—the smile he flashed when he was cooking up something particularly sexy for them to try.
“Talking to start. I won’t complain if it turns into a play date.”
Nalani glanced around the room, sure her face was flushing pink with embarrassment, knowing everyone was watching and listening with interest. The heat in Shane’s eyes smoldered at her shy blush, reminding her how much he loved pushing her.
It was the first time he’d unleashed this part of himself since her attack. She waited for the fear to creep in at the thought of resuming their true sexual relationship—not the watered-down version they tried the week before—but it didn’t come. She’d dreaded this test, but now that it was here, she knew how ridiculous it had been to be afraid.
There was absolutely nothing about Shane Covington that reminded her of Henry Ainsworth. While her rapist may have stuck his cock inside her body, there had been nothing sexual about his act of violence, let alone affection, love, or intimacy. While her attacker had spouted vile and humiliating words—some of the same words Shane loved to use in the throes of their passionate and kinky scenes—the meanings were completely different.
He waited patiently as she’d worked through her emotions at his invitation. Nalani blushed a deeper shade of red as she remembered it wasn’t just Shane waiting on her reply. The entire room of her friends and co-workers were waiting too, somehow understanding the importance of her answer.
“I’ll go anywhere as long as it’s with you, Shane.”
He rushed forward, yanking her back into his arms, holding her tight enough, sh
e felt wholly safe for the first time in a very long time.
Chapter 28
She’d said yes. Shane held Nalani close, letting the relief of having her back in his arms wash over him.
Anxiety, a familiar companion since the night of the Oscars, threatened to pull him out of his joy. He shoved it aside, determined to follow through with his plan. He knew they were far from home free, but for the first time since he’d found Nalani unconscious in a pool of water and her own blood months before, he felt a small measure of control over their future.
Grabbing her hand, Shane turned to face the group of friends smiling broadly at the lovers.
“Before we head down, I just want to say… thank you. All of you have been the best support system for Nalani. For me. Well, for us.”
“Yeah, well, there’s no accounting for her taste in men, but if you make her happy, I guess we’ll have to put up with you,” Elijah said from behind him, the good-natured jab making everyone laugh.
Shane turned, and the dominant men’s eyes met. He was grateful for the warmth and approval shining back from the older man—a pseudo-father figure to Nalani in this strange family they’d loosely formed.
“Thanks for calling me this afternoon, man. I won’t forget it.”
“Yeah, well, let’s not get all mushy about it. I’ll still fuck you up if you do anything to hurt her.”
“I’m counting on it,” Shane grinned.
With a nod to the group, Shane picked up the duffle bag and pulled Nalani into motion toward the hallway that led to the small elevator.
Enjoying the feel of her tucked tightly against his body, he suspected she was as nervous as he was when they took the ride down to Black Light in silence. When the elevator doors opened, the soft lighting and sexy music he’d asked Elijah to have on greeted them.
Before he’d arrived at the mansion, he’d given himself fifty-fifty odds of making it this far with Nalani. Now that he was here, he realized getting her down to Black Light had been the easy part of his plan. Pushing each of them through their fears of triggering bad memories or worse, a panic attack would be a bit like threading a needle. It could be done, but it needed to be done with precision.
Shane led the woman he loved to the couch waiting for them in the middle of the empty room. He almost chickened out when Nalani moved to take a seat on the leather.
“On your knees, kitten. That’s my seat.”
Nalani’s eyes widened at his command, recognizing it for what it was—a test. If she couldn’t handle this simple step, everything else he had planned out in his dirty mind was moot.
Like a flawless sub, she melted gracefully to her knees, facing his empty seat on the couch.
She’d done her part. Could he go through with his?
Shane swung the duffle bag onto the seat next to where he took a seat in front of Nalani. She was close enough, the front of her robe brushed his knees.
“Eyes.”
It was a command he’d given her many times before—usually, so he could revel in her humiliation as he pushed her out of her comfort zone. Tonight, it was more so he could keep tabs on her emotions.
She was still with him. With relief, he detected the spark of longing in her beautiful brown eyes.
“Take off your robe. I need you naked.”
An adorable smile curled on Nalani’s face. It comforted him that she was having fun as she slowly opened the robe and let it fall to the floor, uncovering her full breasts, her nipples pebbling perfectly. Her tiny panties were her only clothing left.
“Something funny, kitten?”
“It sort of feels like we’re learning to walk all over again, you know?”
He could appreciate her analogy. “Yeah, well, better to practice walking before we start to run, right?”
“I guess.” She hesitated, before blushing beautifully. “But for the record, I’ve always loved running with you, Shane.”
He hadn’t realized how much he needed her encouragement. He could feel the final tension in his shoulders release, feeling more like himself than he had in months.
Shane took a deep breath and moved forward with his plan.
“I want you to know, the last two days have been hell, kitten, but I truly can’t thank you enough for being brave enough to try to break up with me yesterday. It was the exact wakeup call I needed to help me get my head out of my ass.”
“It wasn’t bravery, Shane. I was trying to run away because I was too afraid to stay and fight. I thought I was doing the right thing, letting you go, but Piper helped me see I needed to trust you more.”
He made a mental note to add another reason to his already long list of things to thank Piper for.
“I don’t want us to get too wrapped up in talking, but we do need to lay a few new ground rules. I already introduced our new timeout safeword, and I want you to know, I’m giving myself permission to use it too.”
“You? Why would you need a safeword?”
“Are you kidding me?”
He could see her confusion. She honestly didn’t know.
“Baby, sometimes at night, when I close my eyes, all I can see is you lying there on the floor of your bathroom in a broken heap. There was about a minute where I stood frozen, unable to even go to you because you were so still. I thought… worried… you were dead.”
“Oh, Shane… why haven’t you talked to me about this before?”
“You know why. For the same reason you haven’t told me the details of what happened to you that night either. I only know what was in the police report, but we aren’t going there. Not tonight. But one day, we’re both going to feel strong enough to talk about it all.
“Tonight, we’re gonna focus on getting us back on track. And to that end, I have a few gifts for you.”
Shane unzipped the duffle bag and took out the first small box, reaching out and handing it to the woman waiting on her knees in front of him.
Nalani untied the ribbon he’d wrapped around the box, slowly opening the lid to peek inside. The relief at finding her collar, the same collar she’d given back to him the day before, bolstered him.
Shane reached to take the jeweled leather from the box and lifted it to her graceful neck. The second it was latched, she sighed deeply, visibly relaxing against his knees as if she needed his warmth.
That had been the easy gift. Shane took out the second box he’d brought. When her eyes widened, he realized the small box was the same size as for an engagement ring. As she untied the bow and slowly lifted the lid, he said a silent prayer she wasn’t disappointed by the contents.
Nalani reached in and picked up a silver key ring with a single key on it. Turning it around in her hand, she looked up at him, confused.
“To be honest, this is a totally symbolic gift since the entire estate is decked out with keypad and fingerprint locks already preprogrammed for your entry. Still, I want you to know this is the key to what I hope to be our home one day. I know… you aren’t ready yet, but it will be there waiting for us. However long it takes you to be ready to leave Runway.”
“Shane…”
“It’s okay. I understand. I just need you to know we’re on your timetable here, not mine. We can stay upstairs as long as we need to.”
“Thank you. Truly.”
“Hold that thought. You haven’t opened the final gift yet.”
The final box was much bigger—the size of a shirt box. Nalani’s hands trembled a bit as she slowly undid the ribbon and opened the lid to peek in.
He was ready for her confusion.
“What is it?” she asked, pulling the gift out to turn it around, trying to figure it out.
“It’s a chastity belt. It’s time to introduce you to one of my favorite kinks. One that may actually come in handy.”
God, he’d missed that innocence shining back at him. He’d seen her in so much pain since the attack, he’d wondered if she could ever again be his reluctant innocent.
Time to start running.
“That’s when I’ll lock you in this belt that’s going to hold the plugs in your holes. It’ll remind you at all times who you belong to but will make sure no one else ever touches what’s mine again, and that includes you, kitten. There will be no touching of your cute little clitty when you’re locked up.”
Shane watched her eyes grow wider with each dirty promise. He took her fidgeting on her knees as she tried to get friction to her pussy as a good sign.
“Now, before I can see if this baby is going to fit you properly, we have some work to do, don’t we? Let’s start with you kneeling up.”
Nalani’s eyes grew darker as her pupils dilated. As she kneeled up, Shane leaned forward, hooking his fingers into the waistband of her panties, slowly pulling them down. He took the opportunity to lean down and nibble the crook of her neck, catching the first whiff of her arousal.
His sucking her neck hard enough to leave his mark coincided with his left hand cupping her pussy. Her wetness covered his palm, his other hand finding her breast, squeezing hard enough to draw a groan from the woman falling against him.
It would be so easy to rush things, but Shane forced himself to go slow. Moving his mouth from her neck to her ear, he slipped a single digit through the wet folds of her pussy, careful to avoid touching her clit, preferring to edge her higher. Nalani shivered as he sucked her ear lobe between his teeth, nipping at her.
Shane reluctantly broke up their tryst, but only so he could maneuver enough to unbuckle his belt. He hated to release her, but it couldn’t be helped. His engorged cock was straining for release, and he was only too happy to unzip his pants and pull his jeans down.