My Heart To Touch: A Maxwell Family Saga - Book One

by Alexander, S. B.

  I came to a stop at the edge of the lake where the ice met the snow-covered ground.

  Maiken sidled up to Emma with a fraught expression. Maybe he didn’t want anything to do with me after Carter had all but chased him out of the loft. Now my own ire was bubbling to the surface. Momma had told me during our conversation last night that I should talk to Carter and somehow make him understand that he couldn’t keep boys away from me forever.

  But thoughts of talking to Carter vanished when I locked eyes with Maiken. He looked as though he’d been crying. Sadness supplanted my anger.

  “What’s wrong?” Emma asked. “Did something happen?” Her bubbly attitude flew away with the hard wind that whipped around us.

  Maiken reared back. “Nothing happened.”

  She leaned into her brother and whispered something in his ear.

  “I’m fine,” he said.

  I didn’t believe him, but it wasn’t any of my business to ask questions.

  “Quinn is taking me skating this weekend,” Emma said. “Do you want to go?”

  Please say yes. Images of Maiken and me holding hands as we skated around the rink danced in my head.

  He swung his gaze from me to Emma. “I can’t. I have to work until closing this weekend.”

  Maybe it was for the best. If I knew Tessa, she would be at the rink, showing off like she usually did. Suddenly, I was regretting my invitation to take Emma. Tessa would only taunt me or brag about how Maiken was going to her party as her date. I still wasn’t sure if he’d accepted her invitation despite the fact that he didn’t do parties.

  “Well, you’re not working the night of the Stevenses’ party,” Emma said. “We’re going, right?”

  My legs almost gave out again. He was going with Tessa.

  “Maiken,” Ethan said from the deck of the boathouse. “We need your help moving the foosball table.”

  Maiken pinned me with a look as though he were trying to decipher my thoughts. I’d never gotten the chance to answer his question about being Chase’s girl or tell him I wasn’t going to the party with Chase. Now it really didn’t matter if he knew or not. He probably didn’t care.

  Sticking out my chin, I held back some tears that were itching to spill and skated off. At that moment, I was glad I had my skates on. It was a fast getaway, and no one could chase me.

  “Quinn,” Emma shouted.

  I spun around then skated backward as I watched Maiken saunter up to his brother. I wondered if liking a boy was supposed to be so difficult or if getting my feelings sandblasted was part of liking a boy. I’d always thought it was supposed to be exciting and thrilling and that I would feel like dying if the boy I liked didn’t kiss me.

  I was dying. I’d never been kissed before, but I wanted my first time to be with Maiken. I wanted to be his girl.

  I shoved my earbuds in and let Beethoven calm me as I concentrated on nothing but trying not to cry. I failed as one tear fell then two.

  After several laps around the lake, I decided to head home. Emma had left, the backyard was empty, and if Maiken and his brother were in the boathouse, I couldn’t tell. I changed into my boots, packed my skates into my bag, and started to leave when Maiken came out of the boathouse.

  “Do you need a ride home?” His blue eyes were crystal clear, not cloudy like before.

  “I was going to call Liam to pick me up.” My brother had dropped me off that morning.

  “If you want to hang out until I have to be at the farm, we can get some hot chocolate and play some foosball, or there’s a pinball machine in the funhouse.”

  A flush spread across my cheeks. “Is that what the b-boathouse is called?”

  “Kade tells me that his wife dubbed it the funhouse when they were in high school.”

  I didn’t have to be home right away. It was Friday, and there was no school, and homework could wait until the weekend. The funhouse sounded wonderful, mainly because Carter wouldn’t show up unexpectedly and scare off Maiken.

  “Sure.”

  He grinned like a boy who had just won the state basketball championship game of the year, and because of that, I tingled all over.

  I swallowed some nerves as Quinn and I entered the funhouse. I was about to spend time with the one girl who had my insides in a pile of mush.

  Kade lounged on the couch, which was positioned underneath the window, and Ethan was parked on top of the edge of the foosball table. I wished I could say I’d put in my two cents helping Kade and Ethan clean the place, but my only contribution had been helping them move the foosball machine from one side of the room to the other.

  Regardless, when I’d walked into the funhouse, I’d been blown away at how cool and cozy the space was, especially the view of the lake, on which I’d focused special attention while watching Quinn skate. My mom had been right. Quinn was good. I’d been in awe at how graceful she was and how she seemed to be in her element as if no one or nothing around her existed. I knew that feeling on the basketball court when I tuned out the crowd.

  Kade pushed to his feet and set his light-brown gaze on Quinn. “I saw you out there. Are you taking up skating again?”

  “Do you compete?” I asked the most beautiful girl I’d ever laid eyes on.

  She dropped her gaze to the tiled floor. “Not anymore.”

  Bummer. I wouldn’t mind watching her skate forever.

  Ethan swung his legs back and forth, much like our brother Harlan always did when Mom set him on the kitchen counter so he could watch her make dinner. “I hear Tessa Stevens skates.”

  Quinn visibly tensed. “She’s good.” Despite her stiff posture, Quinn sounded envious.

  Kade smoothed a hand over his honey-colored hair. “She might be, but I would bet you could give her a run for her money.”

  Quinn’s eyes became as big as basketballs. “I doubt that.”

  “You shouldn’t shortchange yourself,” Kade said.

  I had a feeling Quinn and Tessa had butted heads because of skating. Maybe that was one of the reasons why Quinn didn’t compete anymore or why they’d become enemies.

  Ethan hopped off the table. “Yeah, you should show Tessa that you’re just as good or better. Right, Maiken?”

  I couldn’t disagree if skating was what Quinn wanted to do. Mom and Dad were the kind of parents that had never pushed us into anything. We’d had some friends whose parents insisted that their kid play baseball or football or whatever.

  “Kids fail when parents pressure them,” Dad had said.

  My hand found its way to Quinn’s. “I think we need to back off and let Quinn decide for herself.”

  Quinn grasped my hand as if to say thank you.

  Kade gave me a proud look as he puffed out his chest. I was really beginning to feel as if Kade were my dad. “Maiken’s right. Ethan, I need your help in the garage.”

  Ethan regarded Quinn then me with a grin the size of Texas. I knew what my brother was thinking. If we could mind-speak, he would say, “way to go, bro” and “it’s about time.”

  Once Ethan and Kade were gone, Quinn let go of my hand as if I were burning her. Hell, she sure was making me extremely warm.

  Her head swiveled like one of those bobbleheads that my grandfather had in the back of his car. “This place is a-amazing.”

  I thought so too. Aside from the foosball table that was the center of attention, a pinball machine was positioned in between the half-bath and the kitchen. A round card table was tucked in the corner adjacent to the door, and a couch and two recliners decorated the space. I couldn’t wait to hang out there with my siblings and maybe Quinn too.

  Sniffling, she sashayed over to the leather couch.

  “Do you need a tissue? I’m sure there’s one in the bathroom.”

  She pulled off her gloves. “I’m fine. D-did you know that when you inhale cold, dry air, the moist tissue inside your nose increases the fluid p-production?”

  I chuckled. “Is there anything you don’t know?” I took off my coat an
d joined her, but I sat on the opposite end of the couch. I was afraid I might kiss her if I got too close.

  She sat prim and proper—hands in her lap, spine straight, holding her bottom lip hostage with her teeth. “Sure. I don’t know a lot a-about you.”

  There wasn’t much to know about me. “What do you want to know?” I would tell her anything. I had no secrets.

  When she removed her hat, her cherry scent wafted in the air, and as if that was the trigger to pull me to her, I slid over and onto the cushion beside her.

  She didn’t move, but her body went rigid. “H-have you e-ever been on a d-date?”

  Slowly, a grin formed as I studied her like she was a piece of art. My history teacher at my last school had a thing for old-world paintings, and she would bring in one or two from the era we’d been studying. She’d taught us to really look at the details, and I couldn’t help but do the same with Quinn. She was a beautiful piece of art for sure—small nose, long lashes, heart-shaped lips, shiny hair, and… I dared not go lower than her face, although secretly I had when she hadn’t been looking, and she definitely had rounded, nice-sized breasts.

  She popped up, ready to run.

  I latched onto her arm. “Where are you going?”

  She hadn’t run the night before when I’d been an inch from her. It’d been me who had run as if Apple were chasing me.

  She gnawed her lip. “I-I should get home.”

  I pulled her to me. When I did, she lost her balance and fell on top of me. She scrambled to get up, but she wasn’t going anywhere. Carter wasn’t on the property, which meant he wouldn’t walk through the door, although one of my siblings might. Still, they wouldn’t scold Quinn or me.

  “I’ve never been on a date before,” I whispered in her ear, inhaling her essence.

  As if I’d said the magic words, she melted into me and pressed her small hands against my chest. “Really?”

  “You don’t believe me?”

  She angled her head and scrutinized me. “Is that why you ran out last night? Or are you afraid of Carter?”

  Her nose was red, her eyes watered, and her lips were glossy—lips that I wanted to taste. I would bet the stuff she had on her lips tasted like cherries.

  “A little bit of both. I respect your brother and how he doesn’t want any guy to touch you. Rather than get into it with him, I just thought it would be better if I left. I’m sorry I ran, though. I should’ve handled the situation a bit better.” More like a man. Her dad had told me to go after what I wanted when we’d been talking about Quinn. So in retrospect, I had his blessing, although he hadn’t come out and said it.

  Her tongue snaked out.

  I swallowed hard as the need to finally kiss her overpowered every sense I had, but I didn’t know how to kiss, which was partly why I’d left so abruptly the night before.

  It can’t be that hard. You press your lips to hers.

  Ethan had bragged that kissing a girl for the first time was exciting and a little nail-biting since he didn’t know what was going through the girl’s mind. He said he was always preoccupied with whether he was doing it right and if she liked the kiss.

  “Did you know that a full-on French kiss involves all th-thirty-four muscles in the f-face?”

  I flopped my head back and laughed. She followed suit, giggling. As though that were the icebreaker, she leaned in and mashed her lips to mine.

  I froze like the ice that was outside the window. But when she tried to push her tongue into my mouth, I opened freely. I saw stars, bright, big, and dreamy. I was floating on a cloud or maybe to another planet, one where it was only Quinn and me. I was lost in how her tongue was doing things that were new and exciting, and my groin was on board too.

  I followed her lead and explored every crevice of her mouth. She whimpered, and I lost all control. My hands went in her hair. My fingers slipped through her long strands, which felt just how I’d imagined—soft and silky.

  I had no idea what I was doing, but my body seemed to be guiding me. Hell, I had a full-on erection. I should’ve been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I didn’t care. I wanted this girl in so many ways, but I knew I had to tamp down my libido and keep things to kissing. Besides, I couldn’t even think about sex. We were too young. We hardly knew each other, and sex wasn’t something to take lightly, at least according to my dad.

  “Son, make sure your first time is special for both you and the girl. And do not force her into anything unless you two agree. And never have unprotected sex unless you’re married.”

  I’d been thirteen at the time my dad had given me the birds-and-the-bees speech.

  But speech aside, he’d never mentioned the physical feelings involved with kissing or otherwise. My head was spinning, and my heart was doing the same. Quinn was suddenly having her way with me.

  Holy hell. I think I’ve been living under a rock. Ethan had the right idea when it came to girls.

  She broke the kiss and dragged her lips up to my ear. “We should stop.”

  We should, especially because her brother Carter would throw a fit if he found out I’d kissed his baby sister.

  I gripped her hips. “You’re right. Let’s get that hot chocolate.” If we stayed in the funhouse or she stayed on top of me, I couldn’t promise I would be a gentleman. I lifted her up as I stood. “I need to use the bathroom first.” And try to get my hard-on to go down.

  Her gaze traveled down to my crotch. “Oh.”

  I grinned, lacking any mortification I’d expected to feel from a girl knowing I’d gotten hard around her.

  Quinn’s cheeks glowed pink as she emitted a low laugh.

  My grin got wider.

  More awkwardness chipped away between us.

  Nevertheless, I ducked into the bathroom, splashed some water on my face, and took in some deep breaths, willing my erection to subside. The bathroom didn’t have a mirror, so I couldn’t tell how I looked, but I sure did know how I felt. It was as if my eyes had been opened to a whole new world, and I wanted more of Quinn.

  Five minutes later, I found Quinn on the couch, legs crossed underneath her as she texted on her phone.

  I cleared my throat as I rested a hip on the foosball table.

  Her gaze went straight to my belt then below. Her face reddened.

  I smirked. She was so pretty with that shy look she seemed to wear most of the time around me.

  “So are you going with Tessa to her party?” Quinn asked without an ounce of stuttering.

  Maybe I’d kissed the nervous habit out of her.

  I debated whether to sit next to her. If I did, then I would kiss her again. Then I would get another hard-on, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to rein in my urges. “This party is getting out of control.”

  Her throat bobbed. “I’m not going to the party. I declined Chase’s offer.”

  Fireworks went off in my head along with an image of me pumping my fist in the air. “I thought you liked him.”

  “As a friend.”

  “Does he know that?”

  She nodded. “He’s okay with it.”

  I doubted that. Chase had seemed serious when he’d told Quinn he liked her in front of Liam and me.

  “So Tessa,” she said, not looking at me. “Are you her date?”

  I crossed the carpeted floor and dropped down beside her. “I’m not going to that party.”

  “You don’t know Tessa. She doesn’t take no for an answer.”

  I slid my hand over to hers. “Tessa doesn’t control me.” You do, though.

  She arched her back slightly. My attention rounded to her breasts and how her sweater molded to them. Oh, man. I had to get it together. One kiss, and I was already thinking bad thoughts and looking where I shouldn’t.

  Quinn snapped her fingers. “Maiken?”

  I blinked. “Sorry. I was thinking.” About you and me and kissing and so much more.

  She frowned. “D-did I make you mad?”

  “Not at all.” But really she was
making me downright mad inside.

  The music pumped out of the speakers, sounding hollow over the drone of voices in the skating rink.

  I’d kissed a boy—a hot boy who’d kissed me back. That thought was on repeat in my head while the rest of the world around me was nonexistent. I touched my cheek as I skated on somewhat shaky legs. It felt as if my face were filled with hot lava as I thought of how I’d taken advantage of Maiken. Momma wouldn’t have been proud, and neither would Granny. She would say I was a hussy.

  Celia slapped me on the arm. “Hey, pay attention, or else you’re going to fall.”

  Tessa would enjoy that immensely if she were at the rink. Then again, the place didn’t close for another three hours. So she still could show up and be her usual witchy self and show off on the ice.

  In between thinking about Maiken, I had spent time noodling over whether I wanted to give ice-skating a go again. Emma had been cheering me on, not only by the lake the day before but as soon as she’d gotten to the rink. She’d talked nonstop about the Olympics and how she loved watching the skaters and that I should consider getting serious about the sport.

  Emma skated up to me. “Where are you going?” As soon as she’d put on skates and hit the ice, I could see she was a natural. She’d fallen once but had then taken off as if she’d been skating all her life.

  Both Celia and Emma followed me to the exit.

  “I need a break. You two skate.” If I didn’t sit down, my legs would give out at any second, and that second would be when Tessa decided to show up.

  Emma smirked at me with her red nose shining beneath the rink’s bright lights. It was as though she knew Maiken and I had kissed.

  Oh my God. Maiken had told her. I hadn’t even told Celia yet.

  I narrowed my eyes at the pretty Maxwell girl. “What?”

  “Maiken looked like you when he walked in the house yesterday.”

  The lava burning my cheeks had quadrupled.

  Celia gaped. “Did you and Maiken do something? You did. Didn’t you? I can see it on your face. I knew it. Why didn’t you call me?” She all but ran off the ice, nearly falling into me as I dropped down on one of the benches that lined one side of the rink.