My Heart To Touch: A Maxwell Family Saga - Book One

by Alexander, S. B.

  I’d only been at Kensington a week—one damn week—and I was already the center of attention with Tessa and Chase.

  No one other than Ethan and Emma could know about Quinn and me kissing. The blood drained from me just thinking about what Carter could do to me. At least I had Liam in my corner, and maybe even Mr. Thompson.

  Ethan smirked. “How was your first kiss?”

  I hiked a shoulder, or maybe the chill coursing through me made me react. “Okay.” Liar. It was explosive in more ways than one.

  “Did you get a boner?” Ethan asked seriously.

  I snorted. “What do you think?”

  “I always do,” he said, his gaze on something on the other side of the room as though he were remembering his first time. “It’s natural, right?”

  For sure. “Quinn noticed my boner too.”

  He gave me a cheeky grin. “Girls aren’t as innocent as you think.”

  It was my turn to grin. “I wouldn’t know. Remember, I haven’t had girlfriends.”

  “Do you want to kiss her again?”

  In a heartbeat. “Hell yeah.”

  “If you two go out, won’t that affect your job?” Ethan asked.

  “My job ends the day before Christmas.” I only had twenty-two more days of work. I’d been counting only to calculate how much money I would make in the time I had left.

  “You should probably wait until your jobs ends before you ask her on a date,” Ethan said. “Remember those stories we heard Dad telling Mom about coworkers getting caught dating?”

  Mom returned. “Ethan, out. You should sleep in the family room tonight.”

  Ethan got up. “I’ll be fine in my bed. Talk to you later, bro.” Then he was gone.

  My mom handed me a glass of water and two pills. “After church, I’ll stop and get some better medicine. Aunt Eleanor only had Advil. I’ll also make some soup when I get back.”

  I chased down the two green pills with water.

  Mom sat on the edge of the bed. “Maiken, Aunt Eleanor invited Quinn to go to the Stevenses’ party, and she has an invitation for you too.”

  “I know. Quinn told me. I’m not going.”

  “I thought you liked Quinn.”

  All the pretty girls in the world couldn’t get me to budge on my decision. And the more people that talked or gushed about the damn Stevenses’ party, the more I was ready to scream. “It’s a party for rich folks. We don’t fall into that category.” We never had. Even if we did, we wouldn’t flaunt our status around like Tessa seemed to do.

  “Maiken, we don’t need to be well off to attend a party. You should consider the invitation if for nothing else than to spend some time with your aunt and uncle. I hear Kade and his wife are going too.”

  “You go, Mom. I’ll babysit.”

  She cupped one side of my cheek with her cold hand. “You’re sweet. But I’ll babysit, and I’ll be baking that night anyway.”

  My eyes went wide. “Your famous Christmas cookies?”

  “You betcha. Emma wants to go, but she wasn’t invited,” Mom said.

  In a roundabout way, she had been when Tessa had invited me. “She should go in my place, then.”

  Mom studied me with soft brown eyes, almost sad. “Please think about it. I want you to make new friends. Have a good time. It will take your mind off of your father.”

  Nothing would ever take my mind away from Dad. Well, maybe there was one person who could, but right then I wanted to sleep and nothing more. “I have to work that day.”

  “I’m sure Mr. Thompson would understand.” She rose. “Rest.”

  “Mom, say a prayer for Dad while you’re in church.” Instantly, tears filled my eyes.

  She left me with the saddest of smiles I’d ever seen on my mom, and because of that, I buried my head in my pillow and cried.

  Sunday mass was the same routine every week. We got up early and dressed in our Sunday best. I rode with Momma and Daddy while Carter and Liam drove in Carter’s truck. We sat in the same pew. The parishioners knew not to take our spot three rows behind the first on the left. Like any week, the liturgical aroma floated in the air and always gave me the feeling that I was somewhere other than in a church. Momma didn’t like the smell of frankincense and myrrh, but Daddy did because he said it calmed his mind.

  After he’d made that statement many years ago, I’d been curious about the word itself, which had made me giggle. Even Celia had snorted when she heard the word.

  “The frankincense comes from a Boswellia tree from somewhere far away,” I’d told Celia.

  She’d made a weird face. “It sounds like something from a Frankenstein movie.”

  I smiled at the memory, watching the altar boys prepare the pulpit for Father Thomas. Carter and Liam had been altar boys until their confirmation in the Catholic Church. I’d never been an altar girl, although Father Thomas had had two girls in the ranks a few years ago.

  Momma read from the weekly church bulletin while Daddy stared straight ahead. Boredom always set in while we waited for mass to begin. I dared not take out my phone, or Daddy would stomp on it like he had when Liam had texted one of his friends one Sunday morning.

  I checked on my brothers. Carter was on my left, bouncing his knee. Liam was on the other side of Carter, picking at a scab on his hand. My brothers looked so handsome in their pressed shirts and slacks.

  The rustling of clothes and coats and whispers echoed off the stained-glass windows and candlelit walls. High above and behind me, Mrs. Dannon played the organ. The sound competed with the incoming parishioners.

  Momma placed a gentle hand on my knee. “Stop fidgeting.”

  I hadn’t realized I was mimicking Carter. I smoothed a hand down my leggings. With the cold weather, I didn’t wear dresses on Sundays. Momma did, though. That day, she wore a black dress that was cinched at the waist with a cranberry-colored belt, and a gray silk scarf flowed around her neck.

  Daddy held Momma’s hand as he eyed me around Momma. He was just as handsome as my brothers. Sunday was the only day I got to see Daddy in his nice wool pants, shiny shoes, and crisp cotton shirt.

  I gave Daddy a big smile. He winked then sat back. Daddy was a hard man, but he had a heart of gold when it came to his family. I knew Carter and Liam took after Daddy in many ways including their belief that boys should stay far away from me. But Carter seemed to be the one who really hated the idea of me dating, although I hadn’t broached the topic with Daddy.

  I tapped Carter on his thigh. “Can I talk to you after church?” Liam had come around about Maiken and me, although we weren’t exactly dating. Regardless, I wanted to test the subject with Carter and get the elephant out of the room.

  “Make it quick,” Carter said in a gruff voice. “Liam and I have somewhere to go.” His tone was short as always.

  I knew that somewhere they were going. Every Sunday after mass, Carter and Liam trekked off to the shooting range in town. I wasn’t allowed to go, even though I’d tried many times to convince them to take me along.

  “Guns aren’t for girls,” Carter had said many times.

  “It’s our bro time,” Liam had added.

  I’d accepted Liam’s statement over Carter’s. I’d understood the brotherly relationship, but that didn’t make them not wanting me around any easier. That was about the time Momma had taken me skating at the rink. After that, I’d found something I was good at. So I didn’t bother my brothers anymore. Besides, I’d only wanted to spend time with them, not shoot guns. Daddy had shown me how to shoot a BB gun anyway. That had satisfied my curiosity.

  I checked the time on my phone. Mass was about to start.

  “I wonder if Eleanor is coming today,” Momma said almost to herself.

  “She invited me to go with her and Mr. Maxwell to the Stevenses’ party,” I said in a whisper to Momma.

  She patted my leg, her glossy nails glistening in the light. “I know. She told me she was going to ask you.” Her pink-stained lips split into a slo
w smile. “I hear she wants Maiken to go too.”

  Just as I was about to respond, Eleanor and Martin walked up. Martin nodded to us as Eleanor beamed. She was as beautiful as ever in her royal-blue dress, which brought out her stunning blue eyes. She slid into the pew in front of us, which was their normal seat for mass. Martin stood like a soldier, his honey-colored eyes fixated on something toward the back of the church.

  Butterflies held steady in my stomach as I wished upon a star that Maiken was walking down the aisle, even though he hadn’t been to church since he’d moved there.

  The swarm of butterflies went back to sleep when Christine glided up, her brown hair poking out of a crocheted white hat as she held onto Harlan’s hand. The little tike seemed to be fine after his ordeal in the woods. He resembled his mom with a small nose and brown eyes. Behind Christine was Ethan. There was no mistaking the fact that Ethan and Harlan were brothers. Nevertheless, if Ethan was there, then maybe Maiken was too. I glanced over my shoulder and frowned.

  As if Ethan knew where my mind was going, he said, “Maiken has the flu.”

  Oh, no. We’d kissed the night before, but I didn’t feel sick.

  Daddy finally spoke. “Will he be at work later?”

  Christine sat next to Eleanor. “I’m sorry, Jeff. He’s got a 102 fever.”

  Momma winced.

  “So he won’t be in school tomorrow?” Liam asked.

  Ethan sat down in between Harlan and Martin. “Sorry, dude. I don’t think so.”

  “We need him for basketball practice,” Liam muttered.

  Daddy needed Maiken for work. Liam needed him for basketball, and I just needed him for no other reason than to make out. Celia had been right. Boys were everything, or one in particular was to me anyway.

  Father Thomas walked out from a side door with the altar boys in tow. That was our cue to rise. Forty-five minutes later, after praying, singing, taking communion, and listening to Father Thomas’s sermon on giving during the holiday season, we slowly made our way out of church.

  During mass, all I’d thought about was Maiken. I should bring him some soup or maybe some of the coffee rolls Momma had baked that morning.

  “Boys,” Daddy said to my brothers. “I need you at the Christmas tree stand by one today.”

  Carter and Liam didn’t appear happy, but they nodded just the same.

  Ethan tapped Daddy on the shoulder. “Mr. Thompson, I can work in Maiken’s place. I’m not sixteen yet, though.”

  Daddy considered Ethan as we gathered outside. “You don’t mind? I could use you. Can you come at one this afternoon?”

  Ethan nodded while Carter and Liam lost their cranky attitudes. I didn’t blame my brothers for getting annoyed. All of us worked hard on the farm, especially during the holiday season. They deserved one day to goof off.

  “I can help too,” I said to Daddy. I hadn’t planned on working the tree stand. I had homework and chores in the house, but Momma would understand.

  Daddy gave me one of his warm grins that told me he was proud.

  Eleanor, Christine, and Momma chatted where the stone steps met the sidewalk.

  Fluffy clouds floated overhead. Kade and his beautiful wife, Lacey, leaned against a shiny blue truck not far from where we stood. Lacey was all bundled up and tucked into Kade’s side.

  The last time I’d seen her was in the local grocery store months ago when I was shopping with Momma. Her long, wavy brown hair had been up in a ponytail at that time instead of cascading down her back like it was that day.

  While Momma and Daddy talked with Christine, Eleanor, and Martin, I decided to talk to Carter before he and Liam took off. But when I glanced around, I didn’t see my brother until a family of five walked past me.

  What in the world? Carter and Chase seemed as though they were in a heated discussion about five cars down, near a tree.

  “Quinn,” Lacey called.

  I pursed my lips, ready to stomp over to Chase and my brother, but I couldn’t be rude. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She and Kade held hands. “You’re right,” she said to Kade. “Kade tells me that you’ve snagged Maiken’s attention. I see why. You’re beautiful.”

  She was talking to me as if she’d never met me. While I wanted to remind her that we had met briefly a time or two, I couldn’t let Carter leave. Not only that, I was dying to know what Chase was babbling to him about.

  Lacey must’ve seen some type of expression cross my face because she said, “Forgive me. I didn’t mean that to come out as though we don’t know each other. Well, we really don’t. I’ve never had a chance to talk to you or get to know you.”

  I didn’t expect to be friends with Lacey. She was much older than me. Besides, she was hardly in town during baseball season. My brothers gushed about how she played for a men’s team.

  “If you’ll forgive me, I need to talk to my brother before he leaves.”

  “Quite all right,” Lacey said. “I hope to see you at the Stevenses’ party. Maybe we can chat then.”

  Maiken wasn’t going, but I hadn’t thought about my answer yet. I hated to be rude and decline Eleanor’s invitation. After all, she and Momma knew I wanted to go.

  “Maybe,” I said. “Excuse me.” My mind wasn’t on anything else except Chase and Carter at that moment. As I approached Carter and Chase, I scanned the church grounds for Tessa. She had to be there if Chase was. But I came up empty. “So are you talking about me?” I asked without stuttering.

  Chase wore a cold expression and all but scurried away like a rat in a sewer.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Carter.

  Steam came out of Carter’s nose and not because of the cold. “There’s a rumor going around that Maiken got in your pants.”

  Blood froze in my veins as a ball of fur clogged my throat.

  Liam jogged up, maybe because he’d seen the fury on Carter’s face.

  “Well?” Carter asked in a tone that lifted the fine hairs on the back of my neck.

  My worst possible fear had come to fruition. I couldn’t even think clearly or get my tongue to move.

  “Care to fill me in?” Liam asked.

  “Do you know about Maiken getting into our sister’s pants?” Carter almost growled every world.

  Liam flinched. “Bull. Quinn wouldn’t let that happen.”

  A small part of me relaxed that I had at least one brother who believed I would save my virtue for the right boy. Nevertheless, Liam eyed me, wanting me to confirm what he’d said.

  I swished some saliva around in my mouth. “You know something, Carter? You’re worse than Daddy.” Holding back tears, I started to head back to my parents. I couldn’t talk to my brother right then. Not to mention, that rumor would spread like wildfire around school, and all eyes would be on me. Girls would giggle in groups. Boys would size me up. And Tessa… Oh, she would have a field day with me for sure.

  Carter skirted around me, looking down. “Is it true?”

  I loved my brother, but at that moment, I despised him for the mere fact that he would believe a rumor about me.

  Liam was right next to Carter, seemingly ready to intervene if he had to.

  My lips trembled. “Did you believe the rumor that Celia and Tessa spread around about me?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Then why would you even think to believe this one? And consider the source.” I believed Chase had been sincere when he’d said he liked me. But maybe he was mad after learning that I liked Maiken. Maybe this was his way of getting back at Maiken or me.

  “Because I see the way you look at Maiken,” Carter said, not losing an ounce of anger.

  I gulped, the cold air cooling the burn in the back of my throat. “Stay out of my business.” I stomped away, desperate to get home and hide in the loft, where I could think, cry, and never show my face again in school.

  Three days out of school. Three days of missed basketball practice. Three days of feeling as if someone had zapped all the energy out of me
. But nothing was worse than when Emma had charged into my bedroom after school on Monday, babbling about some rumor that Quinn and I had slept together.

  As I closed my locker, I searched up and down the halls for Quinn. Emma had said she hadn’t seen Quinn all week.

  Ethan nudged my shoulder. “I don’t see Quinn.”

  “I don’t understand how you’re not sick,” I said. Emma had the flu now, but Ethan was the one sharing a room with me.

  He shrugged. “Can’t answer that, bro. So what are you going to do about the rumor? You truly didn’t have sex with her?”

  Narrowing my eyes at my brother, I leaned into him and whispered, “When I lose my virginity, you’ll be the first to know.”

  He chuckled. “I can’t wait for that day. Look, Emma and I haven’t seen Quinn. I didn’t even see her when I filled in for you at the tree farm last Sunday. Even then, Liam and Carter didn’t say anything to me, although Carter wasn’t around much.”

  “How was Liam?” I didn’t forget his threat to throw that punch if I hurt his sister, and while I didn’t, the rumor was rather jarring. If I’d heard that rumor about Emma I would probably be livid.

  Ethan threaded his fingers through his messy hair. “He seemed fine, and no, he didn’t say anything to me. I got to run. Don’t forget to see Coach during your free period. I hear he’s been looking for you.”

  The bell rang.

  Ethan went one way, and I went the other. I didn’t get far when Tessa popped out from around the corner at the end of the hall. I could only go left, so there was no way to avoid her. I ground my back teeth together.

  She clutched a book in her arms. “Is it true? Please tell me it isn’t.” She sounded as though she’d lost her chance with me. I was on the verge of telling her she’d never had a chance when Carter of all people marched my way with his fists ready for battle.

  A handful of kids lingered.

  Tessa flipped her hair over her shoulder along with a quick glance. “He doesn’t seem happy.”

  “You started the rumor, didn’t you?” I asked through gritted teeth.

  She gave me a smug smile. “Why would I do that when I like you?”