Kaua'i Me a River

by JoAnn Bassett

  ***

  As we were landing I pulled out my cellphone but I waited until the flight attendant gave us the go-ahead before calling Valentine.

  “You’re here?” she said. “Do you have the birth certificate?”

  “Yes, all signed, sealed and as soon as this plane makes it to the gate, delivered.”

  “I’m afraid I won’t be able to pick you up. I’m already at the courthouse and if I leave I’ll lose my place in line. Would you mind taking a cab?”

  “Sure, no problem.” Airplane tickets and taxi fares had already made a big dent in my wallet, but the Lihue courthouse was only a few minutes from the airport. As I exited the terminal my cell went off again.

  “Pali? It’s Sunny. I just got to the courthouse and Valentine tells me you need a ride. I’ll send Timo.”

  The white Range Rover came into view within minutes. He hustled around and opened the back door but I nodded toward the front passenger seat.

  “Have it your way,” he said. His voice had a gruff edge, but he was smiling. “Mrs. Wilkerson tells me you’re Phil’s daughter. You jus’ like him, man.”

  We arrived at the courthouse and Timo dropped me at the door. I hustled inside. Sunny was standing in the lobby.

  “Valentine’s over in the records office. She asked me to wait out here for you.”

  “Did you know Phil actually had seven wives?” I said.

  “What? Did someone call from the notification Valentine put in the newspaper? It’s probably just some gold digger.”

  “No, it wasn’t from the paper,” I said. “It appears my mom was married to Phil.”

  “And why would you think that?”

  “Because I was just at the Vital Records Office in Honolulu and my mom’s got a marriage certificate on file.”

  “Huh. Well, that’s a shocker.” She looked more pensive than shocked. “C’mon. We better get your birth certificate to Valentine.”

  CHAPTER 25

  After I’d located Valentine in the county clerk’s office and handed over my birth certificate, Sunny offered to buy me coffee. It was past noon, and I’d only had one quick cup with Steve more than six hours earlier.

  “You didn’t know my father and mother had been married?” I said.

  “I don’t remember Phil mentioning it. He probably felt so bad about what happened to her he didn’t want to dwell on it. I always thought Peggy was his first wife. Remember, that’s what he said in his will.”

  “Speaking of Peggy,” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Have you heard anything more?”

  “Not a thing.”

  Valentine showed up a few minutes later. “It’s all set,” she said. “The judge is taking a two-week vacation, but we’ve got the clock ticking on the probate. There’s not much more we can do until the notification period is over.” She looked down at her watch. “I’m afraid I need to leave. I have an appointment in an hour up in Hanalei. Thanks for coming on such short notice, Pali. I hope you won’t have to make any more trips over here for a while.”

  We shook hands and Valentine left.

  “I guess I better get to the airport,” I said. “It feels like I’ve spent more time in airports in the past couple of weeks than when I was an air marshal.”

  ***

  I landed in Maui and once again, Steve picked me up.

  “How’d it go?” he said as I slid into the passenger seat.

  “Well, other than feeling like I’m getting jet lag from so many interisland flights, I’d say it went pretty well. The probate’s underway now.”

  “Great. So, did they give you any idea when you’ll be rich?”

  “Don’t hold your breath. Oh, I did find out something interesting, though.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Seems my parents were married after all.”

  “No kidding? How’d you find out?”

  “I ordered my mother’s wedding certificate at the Vital Records office.”

  “Wow,” he said. “It’s like pulling on a loose thread and, before you know it, you’ve unraveled the whole sweater. All it took was finding out who your dad was and now you’ve figured out your whole family story.”

  Steve had to go across the island to pick up a check and he asked if I wanted to go along. I declined, saying I had some things I needed to get done at my shop. I doubted if I’d actually get much work done, but I hadn’t seen Farrah or Hatch for three days and I had fences to mend.

  I asked him to drop me off at Farrah’s store. She was busy with a customer so I waited. When the customer left, Farrah came over and gave me a warm hug. She still smelled like ‘baby’ but I would’ve been concerned if she hadn’t.

  “Are you still staying down at Hatch’s?” I said.

  “Yeah, but not for long. It’s kinda tight with three keiki, two dogs and three humans.” I wanted to point out that technically keiki, or kids, were also human, but I didn’t since I was mending fences.

  “Where are you moving to?”

  “I guess I’ll move back up here. Everyone’s been totally cool with me taking in Moke, so it’s no big deal. His birth mom and me are real tight. In fact, we’re doing a baptism this weekend.”

  “In a church?” I said.

  “No, I’m a minister, remember? Wherever I am it’s a church.” That sounded a little ‘diva’ to me, but again, I was mending fences so I kept my mouth shut.

  “Where are you having it?”

  “Down at Ho’okipa Beach. It’ll be fun. And guess what?”

  “Uh, I don’t know.”

  “No, you gotta guess.” I usually refuse to go along with Farrah’s guessing games but in the spirit of making amends, I relented.

  “Okay, my guess is you’re going to baptize all the kids. Even Echo and Rain.”

  “Good guess, ‘cuz you’re right. But there’s more.”

  Oh boy, more.

  “Let’s see. Okay, my second guess is you’ve timed it to happen on a full moon.” I was simply making stuff up until I could reasonably put an end to the guessing.

  “Wow. Right again! It’s so far out you’d think of that. You must be channeling me or something. Okay, one more guess. We should go until you get one wrong.”

  “Are you doing the baptism at night, so you can see the moon?”

  “Oh, bummer. You got it wrong. No, it’ll be in the day time. It’d be hard to get pictures at night. Steve offered to be the photographer—for free.”

  Funny. Steve hadn’t mentioned anything about the baptism when he picked me up.

  “How many people are coming?” I said.

  “About eighty.”

  “Eighty? That’s bigger than my biggest beach wedding all year.”

  “Yeah, but don’t worry. I’m not gonna ask you to help with it or anything. Because…” She paused and I heard a drumroll in my head. “Because I’m asking you to be Moke’s akua-mother, his ‘goddess’-mother!”

  Judging from the ‘ta-dah’ in her voice I figured she expected me to squeal in delight.

  “Mahalo, I’m so honored.” I said. I clasped my hands to my chest to make up for the lack of a squeal. In my mind I was wondering what it meant to be someone’s ‘goddess-mother’. I’d never heard of such a thing, so I had no idea what I’d just signed on for.

  “When should I show up?” I said.

  “We’re going to start around four in the afternoon. Afterwards, Hatch has offered to tap a keg and lay out some heavy pu’pu’s. It’ll be fun.”

  I love the word pu’pu. It’s what locals call ‘appetizers.’ Since I deal with mainlanders who want appetizers at their wedding dinner, I’m used to jumping in with a clarification when a caterer mentions pu’pus and the bride grimaces in disgust.

  “Sounds great. So eighty people, huh?”

  “Yep. And you and Hatch have both agreed to be Moke’s akua-parents. I’m so excited.” She leaned in for another tight hug.

  Hatch had agreed to be the akua-father? Great. I wasn’t sure of what I’d gotten mysel
f into, but regardless of the job description, I had less than a day to tidy up a big hole in my relationship fence.

  ***

  Farrah told me Hatch had gone to work that morning, which meant he’d be off the next two days. I called his cell.

  “Decker,” he said. There was no way he didn’t know it was me. He’d even programmed in a special ring tone just for me.

  “Hi ‘Decker’,” I said. I regretted it immediately. I tried to come up with a good save but he jumped in first.

  “Hi, yourself. So, how is Hawaii’s newest heiress doing this fine afternoon?”

  Busted. I didn’t know what to say.

  “Yeah,” he went on. “Nice of you to clue me in on the high points of your life. What’d you think? That I wouldn’t find out?”

  “Who told you?” As if I didn’t know.

  “Who cares? What matters is it wasn’t you.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it from you, but it’s not a done deal.”

  “What’s going on, Pali? One minute I feel like we’re making headway and the next I feel like I’m on the bottom of the pile.”

  “A lot has happened, Hatch. You’ve been busy and I’ve been gone—”

  He cut me off. “Sorry. Hear that? We’re getting called out. I promised to help a guy move tomorrow. So, I guess I’ll see you on Saturday at the kids’ baptism.”

  The only saving grace was I could hear the siren going off in the station. Seems he really did need to go.

  ***

  On Friday I got up early and went down to the Palace of Pain. I hadn’t slept well and I was sure it showed. When I pulled up, Sifu Doug was hosing down a mat in the alley.

  “Aloha, Sifu,” I said.

  “Aloha, Pali. How you doin’? I hear Farrah’s going to be moving back to her apartment. Seems the hanai thing is working out okay.” He followed me inside.

  “Yeah, it turned out good.” I waited. Sifu Doug was a sixth degree black belt. He knew how to time his attack.

  “You down here to practice? Sorry to say, but you look kinda gnarly.”

  “I feel gnarly. Not much sleep last night.”

  “You having man trouble again?”

  I nodded. “That and a few other things.”

  “Tell you what. You buy me a Gatorade and you can tell me about it. I don’t have classes ‘til ten.”

  “How about I get in an hour of practice and then I’ll buy you that Gatorade?”

  “Deal.”

  I kicked and punched for nearly an hour but my heart wasn’t in it. My body felt weakened by the weight of the last six days. I plugged quarters into the vending machine and joined Doug in his office.

  I handed him an orange Gatorade. “What’re you working on?”

  “I like the green better,” he said eying my bottle. I handed it over. I recognize an alpha move when I see one. “I’m doing a little bookkeeping,” he said. Then he grinned. “Unlike some people, I gotta keep track of my money. I didn’t have a rich daddy.”

  “So you heard.”

  “Of course I heard. Whaddaya think this is, Antarctica? You tell somebody somethin’ juicy, it’s gonna drip down.”

  “Well, I guess my father leaving me a bunch of money is big gossip around here, but that’s not what’s on my mind.”

  “Oh yeah? What’s more important than thirty million bucks?”

  “I’m not getting thirty million. It’ll be around half that.”

  “Well, whether it’s a couple million or a hundred million, it’s still millions more than I’ll ever see. So what’s keeping you up nights?”

  “I suppose it’s useless to swear you to secrecy,” I said.

  “I’m better than most, but you know it’s like holding your breath. As hard as you try, everyone cracks.”

  I told him how my relationship with Hatch had become strained to the breaking point. I’d missed his awards banquet; he’d had to take in Farrah and her kid when they were no longer welcome at my place; and now he’d learned about my inheritance through a third party rather than from me.

  “I read in The Maui News Hatch made Rookie of the Year,” said Doug. “That’s a big deal. Why didn’t you go with him?”

  “I didn’t mean to. I had a new dress and everything. But one of my father’s ex-wives was on her way out of town and she called and asked me to meet her in Honolulu. She said she’d tell me about my mother being killed. And then I couldn’t get a flight back here in time for the banquet.”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s that? Your say you mother was killed? Like murdered?”

  “Yeah. It’s an awful story.” I filled him in on the details.

  “The police chief’s kid killed your mom?”

  “Yep.”

  Doug seemed to consider the enormity of the accusation.

  Then he said, “Wow. And it happened thirty years ago?”

  “Yes, but there’s no statute of limitations on murder.”

  “Yeah, I know. So, what are you gonna do about it?”

  “Right now it’s just hearsay,” I said. “I don’t have any evidence.”

  “Well, maybe when you come into all that dough you’ll be able to hire somebody. You know, like a private eye or something.” He paused, then went on. “And that brings up the next question. Why’d you keep Hatch in the dark about your dad leaving you the big bucks?"

  “Because the lawyer says I won’t see any of it for months, maybe a year or more. I didn’t think it was appropriate to tell Hatch until it was a done deal.”

  “Appropriate? Really? Let me tell you something, Pali. If Lani kept me in the dark about something as big as that, I’d be totally steamed. Especially if she’d already blabbed to other people.”

  “I know. I should’ve told him. But I still haven’t decided if I’m going to take any of it. I was worried he might try to change my mind.”

  “What’re you talkin’ about? Of course you’re gonna take it. It’s yours.”

  “I don’t know. I’ve been noticing people with money. And you know what? They never seem to be decent people. My dad sure wasn’t decent. Leaving my mom, who I now know was his wife, and then dumping me off on Auntie Mana.”

  He shot me a sardonic smile. “Tell you what. I’ll do you a favor. You take the money. If it turns you all mean and nasty, I’ll take it off your hands. No worries ‘cuz everybody knows I’m already mean and nasty.”

  He walked me to the door. “Mahalo for the Gatorade. But don’t expect me to buy the next round.” He gave me a little punch in the shoulder.

  I bowed in respect and went out to my car. I spent the rest of Friday down in Kahului shopping for baptism gifts. I still wasn’t sure what it meant to be a ‘goddess-mother.’ But I was pretty sure gifts were part of the deal.

  CHAPTER 26

  On Saturday morning Steve knocked on my bedroom door. “Hey sleepy-head,” he said. “It’s almost ten-thirty.”

  “Hang on a second,” I got up and slipped on the kimono Hatch had bought me in Kaua'i and I felt a pang of sadness.

  I opened the door. Steve was leaning against the doorframe. “You know we’ve got that baptism today,” he said.

  “Yeah, but it isn’t until four.”

  “But we’re taking formal pictures at two-thirty. And it takes about a half-hour to get down there, and we’ve got to find a place to park, and I’ve got to set up my gear, and—”

  “Okay, okay. You go on ahead. I’ll meet you down there at two-thirty.”

  He shot me his tsk tsk look. “There are about a hundred people coming and it’s Saturday. No way you’ll find a parking spot within a half-mile of Ho’okipia.”

  “I thought Farrah said she’d invited eighty people.”

  “She called last night. It’s now up to nearly a hundred.”

  “Sheesh. Okay, give me half an hour.”

  I took a shower and even shaved my legs. Then I slipped on a clean pair of white capris, a bright aloha print shirt and a pair of white rubba slippas with little
painted flowers. Since Steve was going to be taking pictures I took my time swiping on mascara and blushing my cheekbones. I glossed up my lips and checked my image in the mirror. Not bad. I grabbed my beach bag purse and went to get something to eat to tide me over.

  I pushed through the kitchen door.

  “Is that what you’re wearing?” said Steve.

  I looked down to see if I’d missed a big soy sauce stain on my pants or something. “Yeah. What’s the problem?”

  “Well, from what I’ve been told, you’re supposed to be the ‘goddess-mother’. But I don’t see much ‘goddess’ goin’ on with those crop pants and that tired old aloha shirt. Do you need me to explain the concept of professional photos?”

  “Give me another minute.”

  I charged back into my room and dug through my top drawer for the pearl ‘amulet’ Farrah had given me for my birthday. I put it around my neck but after three tries I still couldn’t get the clasp to work.

  Steve stood in my bedroom doorway. “Oh, get over here.” He fastened it and then put both hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face him. “Look, Pali. I’ve got something to say and I hope you take it in the spirit of love and friendship.”

  “Well, that’s an ominous lead-in,” I said.

  “I know. But I want you to listen. Lately, you’ve been really caught up in this thing with your mom, and I totally understand. But you’ve already missed your boyfriend’s big night and today is a huge day for your best friend. Do I need to say more?”

  I looked down. “I’ve got it, and you’re right.”

  “So, let’s go down there and put on the happy face. And if you don’t kiss and make up with Hatch, I’ll be beyond disappointed in you. Although it pains me to point it out, you’re not getting any younger and you’re still very single.”

  “Okay, don’t push it. I already said you’re right.”

  We hardly spoke as Steve drove us down to the baptism. I was rehearsing my kiss-up speech.

  ***

  Steve got a good spot in the first row of parking. As I helped him lug his camera gear down to the beach I tried to spot Farrah. So far, no sign of her.

  “Do you know exactly where we’re supposed to meet?” I said.