Flawed (Triple Canopy Book 2)

by Riley Edwards

  I wasn’t there to discuss Mercy’s pregnancy cravings though I did file that away for future use. Middle of the night cheeseburgers did indeed sound better than puke.

  “Happy for you but happier for Mercy,” I told him, then instead of wasting a bunch of time with small talk, I went for it. “I’m gonna marry your sister.”

  Jason jerked in his chair. Surprise registered, then it turned into something ugly.

  I didn’t have time for any more games, so this ended today.

  “Straight up, no bullshit, I’m gonna marry her. So I’m sitting here across from you out of respect—”

  “Doesn’t—”

  “No bullshit, out of respect, even though you haven’t shown me any,” I spoke over him. “You know me but not well, so I’m gonna put this shit to bed once and for all. So I can move on to what’s important—and that’s making Adalynn happy. You’re all fired up to hold to and call me out on my past, specifically who I’ve fucked. It’s not your business but I’m gonna give it to you. I’ve been with a lot of women, all of them shallow, all of them users, all of them after one thing, not one of them looking at anything beyond my face, my body, my job. There has not been a single fucking time I’ve entered a bar since I was twenty-one that I didn’t have a woman at my side within five minutes.

  “In the beginning, I took advantage of that. Later, it was tiresome and I’d fend ‘em off. Then I became more discerning, but only in that I only took home what I liked when she didn’t fall all over me. Shallow women who wanted my dick and couldn’t care less who I was. Users. Bitches. Drama queens. So, yeah, I’ve run through them all. Can’t go back and change it, and really, I don’t think I would.

  “All of that taught me something, and that’s what I wanted when it came time to find a woman. Something else it taught me—there are women you fuck, then there’s Adalynn Walker. There’s a big fucking difference. Told you once I knew the difference and I don’t like having to repeat myself, but out of respect for you, I will. I am not fucking your sister.

  “Now that’s done, Jason. Serious as shit, I won’t allow you to continue to hurt her. This ends now.”

  I paused to catch my breath and stared at the man who would one day be my brother-in-law. I had one more thing to say, then this could be done.

  “I need to apologize to you.”

  Jason shifted in his chair and held my gaze but remained quiet.

  “Last time we spoke, I was a dick. I said a lot of shit I shouldn’t have. I brought up Kayla and that was a dick thing to do. I’m sorry for that. You told me Mercy was having a tough time and I should’ve had a mind to that and I didn’t. Again, I was a dick about that, too, and I’m sorry. There’s never a good enough reason to gut a good man the way I did. All I can tell you is my head wasn’t in a good place. The night before, my parents and brother had shown up out of the blue, and Addy was treated to the Durum dysfunction. Before you ask, no one said jack to her and I made it clear I’d kick them out if they so much as looked at her funny. But she still saw, something I wanted to prepare her for and hadn’t yet.”

  “Durum dysfunction.”

  “Not lucky like you, Jason. I didn’t grow up with good parents and siblings that I was close to. I grew up dodging insults, and when I wasn’t dodging them, I was stepping in front of them so CJ wouldn’t feel ‘em.”

  Jason’s face screwed up in disgust and he asked, “Your mom didn’t step in?”

  That was hilarious in the sense that it was so fucking sad, my heart clenched.

  “Paige Durum is not Emily Walker. I can’t remember a time when my mom tried to shield me from my dad. But I do remember her hiding behind me to get herself clear. Like I said, dysfunction. I’ve put up with a lot of my family’s shit out of what I thought was duty. And that’s what I was dealing with when you approached—knowing that I have a shit family but I still have one. After the bullshit they pulled in front of Addy, that’s done—long overdue. I will not have her around that poison and I sure as shit will not have my children around it.”

  “Unfortunate timing,” Jason mumbled. “Addy called last week and handed me my ass. Told me to cut my shit or she cut me out. Told me she’d take your back against me and Dad. My sister’s smart, always has been. She also feels the deepest. She’s pure down to her soul, trusting, giving, so much like my mom it scares me. I knew it was a weak excuse, but it was the only thing I had to latch onto. There’s nothing else I could’ve used to warn her off.”

  Fucking hell. Even when I didn’t know she was doing it, she was taking my back. Christ. I was still reeling, trying to sort through the knowledge that Adalynn had called her brother and told him she’d cut him out, when Jason continued.

  “After Kayla died, my head was so jacked I completely disconnected from my family, and in doing so, I let my sister down. She was hurting after that asshole Belview broke up with her and I missed how much pain she was in. But what’s more, in the years to come, trying to sort myself, finding Mercy, I was so wrapped up in my life I let Addy down in the worst way. I told myself I was giving her her head. Stepping back a little so I wasn’t the overbearing big brother she always accused me of being. But really, I dropped the ball, and because of that Adalynn got hurt.

  “So now after years of keeping herself to herself, never dating, not even looking at a man, you show up and she’s gone for you. A man who’s got some serious experience, and I got nothing else, no other objections, since I like you. So I held on to that experience because I’m scared as fuck and determined to make sure that my sister never feels another moment of hurt.”

  “I’m not gonna hurt Addy.”

  “I know you won’t.”

  Fucking hell, that felt good.

  “I’m gonna heal those hurts. But, Jason, while I’m doing it, I need you to have my back. She’s locked them down tight. Told me she can’t give me those secrets because she’s afraid once she does they’ll explode all over the place and she won’t be able to take them back. I tried going gentle, knowing what I know about what happened, and she accused me of treating her like she was fragile. So that means the next opening I get, I’m going hard and I’m gonna start digging. Problem with that is, she’s gonna fight me, and when she does, I need all of you to have my back.”

  “I’ll have your back.”

  Jesus fuck.

  There it was.

  Fucking finally.

  “Guts me to tell you this, but you gotta know and there’s no way to cushion this for you. Keith took his hands to her, brother. Twice, Quinn saw bruises. And we both know any motherfucker who thinks to use his fists on a woman doesn’t suddenly see the light after he fucks her up and just stops. Which means the shit she’s buried is so dark, it’s gonna rock your family. And when it does, Adalynn cannot feel the ground moving under her feet. You gotta use this time to sort your head because when it all comes out, you gotta be solid.”

  Jason’s head lulled and his shoulders slumped forward and I waited for him to gather his composure. It took a long while, and during this time, Jason intermittently muttered his anger. On a deep exhale, Jason lifted his chin and I was met head-on with a Jason Walker I’d never seen, though I should’ve expected it the way he loved his sister. The man was undone and whether he meant to hide it, tried his best to do that, and failed, or simply didn’t care if I saw the tears in his eyes, they were there.

  “Whatever it takes, we got your back.”

  “’Preciate it.”

  “Trey—”

  “Nothing left to be said, brother,” I cut him off.

  It took a moment, but Jason pulled himself together and stood. Once he was on his feet he extended his hand. Christ. That felt good, too. I followed and got to my feet. We shook hands and with no further words needed when we broke apart, I turned to leave his office. Jason called my name, stopping me from exiting.

  Before I could turn, he delivered his kill shot.

  “Welcome to the family.”

  Jesus fuck.

&n
bsp; I took a moment and let the golden warmth of his words burn through me. Then I wordlessly left.

  25

  “Thanks for lunch,” I said to Bass as soon as he pulled into a parking spot.

  This was not me being rude, it was self-preservation. Bass had been cool throughout class and lunch because Bass was cool. He’d apologized again for freaking me out and thanked me for not holding a grudge. I let him do this and didn’t tell him I agreed because I needed to face the fear head-on. If I didn’t, I knew from experience it would fester until I couldn’t face it. So now, through small things, I faced my fear, and that meant having lunch with Bass even though I was embarrassed he’d witnessed a mini-meltdown.

  But I sensed the cool was wearing off, and he’d used the drive to Triple Canopy to figure out how to broach a topic I didn’t want to talk about.

  “Before I walk you in,” Bass started, and I felt the air turn heavy.

  No way.

  “Please don’t. Whatever you have to say, please don’t say it.”

  “Sorry, honey, needs to be said,” he told me and I gritted my teeth. “I had a talk with your man so I know you have a lot on your mind. And I hope you know, I wouldn’t heap more on if I didn’t think it was important. I didn’t keep it a secret I wanted more with you, thought that’s where we were headed—”

  Oh, crap.

  “Bass—”

  “Addy, as I said I talked to your man. I got it the day I came to see you, but if I’d missed it then, I didn’t miss it when we talked. I know where things are headed for the two of you and that’s why I need to say this.”

  “Where do you think we’re headed?”

  For someone who didn’t want to participate in this conversation, it was a mighty stupid question, but still, I couldn’t stop myself from asking. And when Bass smiled huge, I regretted my participation even more.

  “To the finish line.”

  Finish line?

  Having learned my lesson, I didn’t verbalize my thoughts and remained quiet.

  “Open up, Addy.”

  I felt the heavy air press on my chest and was suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

  “Bass—”

  “Not to me. To Trey. Open up. Whatever it is you’re holding back, let it go, and open yourself to him.”

  Oh, crap.

  My eyes darted around the interior of his car, needing something, anything to ground me. I pushed the fear down where it belonged, deep down where it had to stay so I could escape it.

  “I appreciate you—”

  “No, you don’t. You’re sitting there quaking in your seat. Something’s eating at you. I’ve known for a long time and I hoped one day you’d give it to me. I know now, you never would have. But, honey, you have to open up.”

  Fuck.

  I had to get out of the car. It was clawing its way up my belly, fighting to get out.

  Never. I never wanted it to break free. If it did, it would ruin everything in its wake.

  “I have to go.”

  “Shit,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “You didn’t,” I lied.

  Without another word, Bass got out and I watched him disappear around the back of his car. I used these moments to get control of my ravaging thoughts. But when my door opened, I was no closer to getting myself under control.

  Bass tipped his head down to look at me and the spark in his eyes said it all. However, I was too raw to fortify my defenses, therefore Bass tore a pound of flesh clean away.

  “You’re the best woman I know, Adalynn Walker. Sucks thinking I won’t be the man at your side. But it will not suck quite as bad living with it if you open the fuck up and let Trey take that fear out of your eyes.”

  That was a nice thing to say, the part about me being the best woman he knew, but the rest scared me to death. Bass saw it and I’d tried my best to hide it from the world. Yet again, I was reminded my best wasn’t good enough.

  Instead of arguing, because really, I had to get someplace quiet where I could be alone before my insides split in two, I lied.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  Bass knew I wasn’t being honest, but being as he was a nice guy and back to being cool, he didn’t press the issue further.

  But the sad, forced smile on his face said it all.

  Crap.

  “Hey, Momma,” I greeted.

  “Was that Bass?” she asked, and settled onto one of the two chairs Trey had brought into the gym. He’d also wrangled Carter and they’d set up a mini-office for me in the corner. A desk, a super comfy high-back leather chair, and a small table where I stacked my files.

  “Yeah. I took a class today, then he took me to lunch,” I explained, and my mom lifted a perfectly manicured brow.

  “Trey know you went to lunch with Bass?”

  “He set it up.”

  My mom settled into the chair and held my eyes before she smiled huge.

  “Knew I liked that boy.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at my mom’s absurd comment. There were a lot of ways to describe Trey. “Boy” was not one of them.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked through waning amusement.

  “Meeting your dad here so we can get the RV situated.”

  It was my turn to smile huge.

  “Seriously? You and Dad finally going cross-country?”

  “Quinn’s being stubborn,” she mumbled and busted out laughing again.

  Quinn wasn’t being stubborn, she was being Quinn. When she first mentioned having her wedding at Uncle Clark and Aunt Reagan’s house, my mom made the mistake of grumbling about this. Then when Quinn jokingly declared the ceremony would be held the week before Delaney’s due date, Mom actually growled. Quinn being Quinn thought it was outrageously funny and what had started as a joke had turned to stone.

  “Well, Momma, she’s Dad’s daughter. I’m unclear how you fell into the trap. All you had to do was play along and tell her that was the best idea she’d ever had and she would’ve laughed, then planned something else. Besides, Aunt Reagan’s yard is beautiful. And Quinn’s idea to fill the pond with floating tea lights sounds amazing. Everything’s going to be perfect and Delaney will keep her legs crossed so she doesn’t pop out the baby on the kitchen floor. It’s gonna be perfect.”

  “Hadley’s getting married in Tuesday’s orchard.” She told me something I knew and had helped plan.

  I also didn’t have anything to say about it because I loved Tuesday’s orchard and couldn’t wait for Hadley to get married there. But something was obviously bugging my mom so I waited her out.

  “A church wedding would’ve been nice.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I know it’s silly, but just once, I wanted to watch your father walk one of you girls down the aisle. Delaney and Quinn at Reagan’s. Hadley at the orchard, and you already said that’s where you wanted to get married. That means no church wedding. No watching your dad.”

  After Jackson and Tuesday got married in the orchard, I had told my mom that’s where I wanted to get married one day. But it wasn’t the orchard, though it was beautiful, it was the intimacy of the wedding. Family only. Just like at Delaney and Carter’s, everyone stood gathered around the couple. Circling them, surrounding them, the very essence of my family. That was what I wanted. But I wanted my mom to have what she wanted more than I wanted to get married in the orchard.

  I wondered what Trey thought of a big church wedding.

  My lungs seized at my wayward thoughts.

  Why was I thinking about what Trey thought of a church wedding?

  Because you’re headed to the finish line and you know it, so stop denying it.

  Was I in denial?

  Heck, yeah I was. The finish line meant forever. And forever meant I’d have to share my secrets.

  My mom was staring at me with big eyes and I wondered if I’d asked and answered myself out loud.

  I was officially going crazy. All th
is Jake business had creeped me out. Trey was pushing me around the bend. And thinking about Keith had sent me careening straight back to hell.

  “You know, I’m really happy you and Dad are gonna—”

  “Adalynn,” my mom warned.

  Crap. She knew my thoughts. She knew everything. Emily Walker had superpowers, all my life she’d had them. Perfectly in tune with her children. She might not know the details but she knew. The rule in our house was, if you didn’t want Mom to know, you avoided her. Seeing as she was our mom we couldn’t avoid her forever, so you did your best, praying whatever you’d done that you didn’t want her to know dissolved before she cornered you.

  It was a rule, but it never worked. My father could spot trouble a mile away. My mom didn’t spot it, she felt it in her soul, and if one of her cubs was hurting, she didn’t just feel it, she experienced it right alongside you.

  Darn.

  Knowing that avoiding her was fruitless, I gave her the truth.

  “I’m terrified.”

  “Of what?” Her brows shot to her hairline and her blue eyes glittered with a fierceness I’d seen hundreds of times.

  Momma Bear was out in full force, ready and willing to attack. Conquer all my demons. Hoping I’d hand them to her so she could slay them for me.

  “Life. Trey. Everything.”

  The glitter turned watery and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to see my mom teary-eyed ever, but especially not because of me.

  “Momma—”

  “Adalynn, I want you to listen to me carefully.” I nodded and pinched my lips, afraid of what she wanted me to hear.

  Afraid of what would happen if Trey and I went the distance. Afraid of my secret coming out. Afraid of making another bad decision. Afraid of what my dad would do if he knew the truth. Afraid my mom would think I was a weak coward. Afraid my sisters would wonder what was wrong with me that I allowed myself to be abused.