Accidentaly Divine

by Dakota Cassidy

  Wanda chuckled at her friend just as the doorbell rang, scaring George as she latched onto Dex’s strong forearm, fear rising in her chest.

  No one ever came to her house unless she was having a package delivered. Though, she didn’t know why it should matter. It wasn’t as though you could suddenly tell she was an angel simply by looking at her, and you certainly couldn’t tell she had vampires and werewolves in her house by merely looking at all these gorgeous women either.

  But that bit Nina mentioned about a bad motherfucker had stuck with George, and she couldn’t shake it.

  When Wanda swung the door open, it creaked and let in a blast of cold air as a light so blindingly bright and so welcoming hit her square in the eyes. For a moment, George thought she might pass out from the beauty of the glow that made her latch onto the edge of her island countertop to keep from tipping over.

  “What the ever-lovin’ fuck?” Nina bellowed, hopping up from the couch to hide her eyes as she stumbled around, making Gladys bark. That shit burns, for Christ’s sake! Shut the GD door, Wanda!”

  “Duff!” Dex yelled, shielding his eyes by cupping his hand over them. “Turn it down, buddy!”

  Someone yelled cheerfully, “A Heavenly delivery for a Ms. Georgina Denise Maverick!” and dropped something that sounded really heavy moments before Wanda slammed the door shut with a huff.

  Dex sighed. “Your wings are here,” he announced.

  She squinted, rubbing her burning eyes.

  Oh, good.

  Hopefully, her wings had come with a new pair of retinas, too.

  Chapter 4

  “Yep,” Dex said. “Your wings have definitely arrived, George.”

  “Did they come with new retinas?” she asked, wiping the tears falling from her eyes.

  “Sorry. I’ve been meaning to talk to Duff about how enthusiastic his glow is. He goes overboard sometimes.”

  “His glow?” she repeated as she gripped the countertop tighter and tried to stay upright. Though, as strange as that sounded, after seeing the glow, her heart felt full, lighter, if you will.

  “Yeah, it’s an angel thing. You’ll get used to it. It’ll pass. Promise. Now, wanna see your wings?” he asked, his voice full of excitement.

  “Am I ever going to see again?” she half-joked.

  “C’mere,” he said, taking her hands from her eyes and placing his thumbs over the sockets, smoothing the pads over her eyelids.

  The moment he did, a light vibration coursed through her, followed by a distinct hum and then a warmth that landed square in her core. To be honest, she wasn’t sure if it was from Dex touching her or something else, but the moment he removed his thumbs and asked if she was better, she had to admit, she was able to see.

  Which brought to mind Nina, who was on the couch, her head in her hands. Instantly, she worried about the grumpy vampire as she ran to the living room, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Nina, are you okay?”

  Pinching her temples, she groused, “Fuck all. He nearly burned my friggin’ face off! I’m a goddamned vampire. Light like whatever the hell that was burns.”

  “Oh, right. Because you’re like the antichrist, yes?” George asked, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her sweater.

  Marty rolled her eyes and shook her head with a chuckle. “That’s such a myth. She’s not the antichrist, George. Despite what a pain in the ass she is, she’s not evil.”

  Had she put her big foot in her mouth again? Biting the inside of her cheek, George rocked nervously from foot to foot. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean she was evil. I only meant—”

  “Shut up,” Nina ordered, raising her arm and clamping her fingers together under George’s nose. “I know what the fuck you meant. Because I’m a vampire, you think I’m some fucked-up devil worshipper. But that’s not how this shit works. I don’t worship Satan, which is a good thing for you, isn’t it, Wings? I was accidentally turned just like you. It took a little while, and a lot of frickin’ tolerance build up, but religious symbols and churches, and even moderate daylight doesn’t fucking bother me. But that? That goddamn mushroom cloud of sunshine? That shit hurts.”

  Dex placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a light squeeze. “Sorry, Nina. I’ll try and make sure we’re more careful.”

  She patted his lean hand and smiled. “See that you fucking do.”

  Then Dex rubbed his hands together in anticipation and looked at George, who’s stomach had gone a little topsy-turvy. “You ready?”

  Her eyes flew to the enormous brown-paper-wrapped package on her small entryway floor, and she gulped. It sat there like an enormous albatross, waiting to strangle her. Was she ready? This was all so ridiculous.

  She couldn’t be someone’s angel. She was a train wreck. She had no business guiding people to the grocery store, let alone trying to lead them to make the right choices in their lives.

  Panic—panic like she’d only felt once in her life—began to creep into her chest, tightening it like a vise.

  Wanda came and stood beside her and took her hand. “I’m here and it’s okay,” she said quietly, her gentle presence and floral perfume soothing George.

  “Deep breaths, sweetie. Take deep breaths,” Marty soothed, grabbing hold of her other hand.

  Flanked by both women, her tight throat began to ease and she blew out a long-held breath, reminding herself she wouldn’t feel this way forever. She’d read that in a book somewhere and she tried to apply it to anything that made her uneasy.

  Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, George said, “Okay. Let’s do this.”

  Walking toward Dex, who stood by the package, she knelt and let her fingers flutter over the brown paper.

  Immediately, her skin warmed and her cheeks flushed. Swallowing hard, George slipped her hand inside the tape holding it together and pulled the brown paper away.

  As her wings unfurled, they knocked her backward on her butt, making her gasp.

  “Ohhhh,” Marty and Wanda whispered, their voices full of awe.

  George sat up on her haunches and gaped at the wings. Oh, was right. They were gorgeous. A beautiful mother-of-pearl in color, the feathers soft as silk and shining under the lights of her entryway.

  “They’re beautiful,” she whispered in awe.

  Dex smiled, sitting on his haunches beside her. He reached for her fingers and gave them a light tug, the feel of his skin against hers suddenly different, now that she knew he was a single.

  “Wanna try ’em on?” he asked, his excitement clear.

  “Wait, try them on?” Wanda asked, tucking some stray hairs into the smooth bun at the back of her head. “I don’t understand. Why would she try them on? Shouldn’t they just become a part of her?”

  “These are her temporary wings,” Dex explained. “She has to earn her permanent wings and that can take time.”

  “Do you have permanent wings?” Marty asked with a frown.

  Dex looked positively haunted for a moment before he straightened his broad shoulders and rose with a shake of his head, driving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Nope. I’m still earning mine, too.”

  A thought occurred to her as George also rose to her feet. “So, you’re in the process of earning your wings, just like me? Does that mean that because you’re my guardian angel, I’m the reason you haven’t earned your permanent wings? Is it because I’m such a mess? Have I been the one to keep you from getting your frequent fliers?”

  He looked her directly in the eye with a stare so intense, it made her shiver. “It’s not like that, George. It’s complicated. I don’t have my permanent wings because I don’t. That’s all you need to know.”

  “Way to evade,” Nina said with a slap on his back. “You might as well have just fucking said you don’t have your permies because Wings here is a hard-ass nut to crack.”

  Wanda tugged a lock of her friend’s ebony hair. “Nina! Hush. There could be tons of reasons why Dex doesn’t have his permanent wings. Stop making things worse.
”

  But Dex cut them off with the flap of a hand. “There are mitigating factors that have nothing to do with you, George. Promise. Now, forget me. This is an exciting time for an angel and you have a lot to learn. But first, let’s try your wings on. You game?”

  As George took a step forward and looked at the beautiful wings, her heart pounded as she remembered when Dex had snapped his fingers and made his wings appear out of thin air. When he’d put them on, he’d emanated a glorious light, soft and full of magic.

  Biting the inside of her cheek, she nodded with hesitance. “O…okay.”

  Wanda gave her a reassuring smile and a nod. “We’re right here if you need us, George.”

  Holding her arms out, she swallowed her anxiety while the room went quiet and Dex hauled her wings up from the floor to hold them behind her.

  His presence, warm and solid at her back, eased some of her fears. “They’re heavy at first, but I promise that weight falls away almost immediately. And you only need them to fly anyway, which is something else you’ll have to learn how to do.”

  Fly. She could now fly. Good Jenny, the world sure was a strange and mysterious place.

  “You ready, George?” Marty asked with one of her beautifully encouraging smiles, tugging on a piece of George’s long hair. “You’re so pretty, I just know they’re going to be beautiful on you. All that long, dark, wavy hair against the backdrop of those alabaster wings.” She mimicked a chef’s kiss. “Perfection.”

  Nodding, George murmured, putting her hands behind her back, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Dex slipped the straps around her wrists and slid her wings upward to place the thick bands on her shoulders.

  Two things happened then, a peace like she’d never known crept into her soul, whispering soothing words, and spreading a balm of healing over her bruised heart.

  She heard everyone oooo and ahh. She heard the women coo. Well, except Nina, who muttered, “Holy fuck.”

  The weight of them was, indeed, heavy, and George found she had to lean forward to keep her balance. Once righted, she spread her feet apart and stood very still, basking in this strange new feeling.

  And then George allowed herself to be swept away by the sheer joy wearing the wings brought. Every square inch of her skin tingled, alive with an indescribably acute awareness.

  A warm light spilled from her hands, so soft and supple, it was almost a tangible entity. But the best discovery of all? For a brief moment, her mind cleared of all the excess baggage she’d carried around like a heavy weight on her shoulders every single day for what felt like forever.

  Guilt, grief, the fear her life would explode and fall apart at any moment, all of it melted away and a distant path, though fuzzy and muddled, became a little clearer.

  But then the second thing happened. George had been so enraptured, so overwhelmed with wellbeing, she didn’t even think about Nina and her vampiric sensitivities.

  “Turn her the fuck off, Dex!” she bellowed, once more stumbling around in an effort to escape the room and the obvious burning of her eyes and exposed flesh.

  As Nina pitched forward on lean legs, her fists pressed to her eyes, and Gladys barked a warning, the vampire knocked over an end table and a lamp, sending them crashing to the floor.

  George had been so busy basking in the glow of her newly minted angel-ness, she wasn’t prepared to step out of the way when Nina tripped over the lamp’s cord and knocked right into her.

  But Nina didn’t just knock into her, she smashed against her, knocking her sideways where she teetered precariously, the heft of her new wings pulling her backward.

  And then she tipped over like a felled oak tree, landing on the hardwood floor with a loud bang and a sharp yelp.

  As George was faced with the state of her ceiling, she noted it had been a while since she’d dusted. There was a huge cobweb on her fan.

  And she’d get right on that.

  After she was done learning how to be an angel, that is.

  Chapter 5

  “Well, now, hold on there, Arch,” George said as she sampled another taste of the sauce she’d been stirring for the pork loin. “You used Dijon mustard in this? Really? I’d have never thought of that.”

  He grinned at her, looking quite pleased. “Indeed, Miss. It gives it that extra zing, don’t you agree?”

  She smiled at him and nodded, happy to be in such a gorgeous kitchen with such a nice elderly gentleman who loved cooking and baking as much as she did. “It really does. I’d have never guessed.”

  “And it shall make a divine sauce that tastes like silk on your tongue when drizzled across the pork loin.” He gave her a chef’s kiss and a cheeky smile before he popped open the oven and basted the loin.

  Marty’s house smelled of delicious roasted pork and an apple pie with extra cinnamon and nutmeg. Her double wall ovens were filled to the brim with food for everyone, and everything was exactly the way George had suspected it would be when a group of friends gathered together.

  She sighed, content to be in a houseful of people who were enjoying each other’s company, laughing and joking while Muffin and Gladys curled up on the braided rug together in the dining room beneath the feet of the women of OOPS.

  She had yet to be brave enough to even look at the talking cat named Calamity, who she’d been introduced to and now sat on the back of Marty’s couch. And to note, was as snarky as her mistress, Nina.

  A line had to be drawn somewhere, and for today, George was drawing it at talking cats.

  “Talk to me, fair maiden,” Arch gently encouraged. “Tell me what’s on your pretty mind.”

  She stopped stirring and watched the lightly bronze-colored sauce gently bubble. “Everything and nothing, I guess. I haven’t really had a lot of time to process everything’s that’s happened yet. It’s enough that I have to guide people when I’m not exactly the poster child for mentally sound, but crazier still is the idea that Heaven and Hell really exist. I mean, I…” She shook her head, still in a state of confusion. “I don’t know how to explain it, you know?”

  He nodded, his blue thatch of hair glistening under the recessed lighting as he patted her on the back. “Certainly, I do, Miss. ’Tis much to process, but as I promised, all will be well. There’s never been a time it hasn’t.”

  Turning to him, she tucked her hair behind her ears and jammed her hands into the pockets of her worn jeans. “Can I ask you something?”

  “You may ask me anything, Miss. Anything at all.” Then he paused and held up a finger. “Except for the spice I put in my rum cake. That is a highly classified secret,” he teased with a twinkle in his blue eyes.

  Chuckling, she leaned back against the white marble countertop, veined with deep gray and black. “What did you mean when you said you were paranormal again? You were just recently turned into a troll, so what were you before you were a troll?”

  He cocked his head as Nina entered the kitchen and answered for him, draping an arm around Arch’s shoulders. “He was a vampire. Just like me. Turned against his will like a zillion fucking years ago. He was Wanda’s husband Heath’s manservant.”

  George blinked and gave that a moment’s thought. “So, you can be turned back? I thought once paranormal, always paranormal?”

  Was there a way out of this for her? Did she want a way out?

  Of course she should want a way out.

  Then that voice in her head, the one that haunted her, said, Duh, dummy. You’re not cut out for helping people when you couldn’t even help yourself. Remember what happened not so long ago?

  If there’s a way out, take it and run.

  Nina flicked her on the shoulder and popped her lips. “Don’t get too excited, Wings. Arch was turned back because his sire died—a rare damn occurrence if there ever was one. You’re an angel. Totally diff ball of wax.”

  “Sire?” Dex repeated as he, too, entered the kitchen, making her legs feel like soft butter with his dark hair gleaming and his big fra
me dressed in a dark blue and black sweater The sleeves were rolled up to expose his strong forearms, and his jeans fit him like he’d been born wearing them. “I don’t understand the term. I’ve been around a while, but that’s a new one to me.”

  “A sire is the vampire responsible for turning a human. Or creating him is possibly the word I should use,” Arch provided as he added a full stick of butter to a fluffy pot of mashed potatoes. “My sire, the vile man responsible for turning me and my then charge, Heath, was, by some miraculous quirk of fate, killed hundreds of years after he turned us. Not an easy feat for a vampire, if you know what I mean. Thus, we reverted to humans once more. Oh, the absolute hell of that time in our lives will surely never be forgotten. Mr. Heath selling Bobbie-Sue cosmetics, our car wrapped—out of a desperate need of cash—in an advertisement for a feminine hygiene product. ’Twas dreadful. But we managed, and somehow came through it together. That’s how we met this ragtag crew.”

  So they’d helped this guy Heath and Arch, too?

  Nina’s head fell back on her shoulders as she laughed, exposing her creamy throat. “That was some shit, right, pal? Ah, the good old days, huh, Arch? Before all this OOPS crapola.”

  Arch patted Nina on the hand and clucked his tongue. “Though, it did bring us Miss Wanda. There is that to be ever so grateful for.”

  George gave them all a confused look, scratching her head. “But I thought Heath was still a vampire? Does that mean he’s human?”

  Wanda turned in her chair at the long dining room table and smiled fondly. “He is a vampire. He turned back for me. Another crazy story you’re probably not up to yet, but someday, once you’re settled into being a guardian angel, we’ll all get together at a BBQ or a bar mitzvah or whatever needs celebrating, and tell paranormal tales. Because believe me, we’ve got plenty. For now, you just focus on wearing those wings and staying upright.”