Chasing Faith

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Hello?” Reverend Stokes answered, though he had moved out.

  “This is Christian,” I said in a tone that hated to be making the call. “I’ve got some bad news about Sebastian.”

  “Dear Lord.”

  “He was shot. We’re at Gatlinburg Memorial Hospital.”

  “Is he all right?”

  “He’s in surgery. I don’t know anything yet.”

  “I’ll call his mother, and we’ll be there as quickly as we can,” his worried father promised.

  I went to the waiting room. A nurse came in and updated me on the progress of Sebastian’s surgery. She advised me that he was doing well, the surgery was going fine, and that they should be finished soon. A few minutes after the nurse left, Detective Hart came in and asked me questions about what happened. I told him everything that I knew and he said that he would keep in touch with the hospital to check on Sebastian’s progress so he could question him when he was awake.

  His parents chartered a plane and arrived in two hours. When they spotted me, his mother rushed up and hugged me. A tear from her face touched mine.

  Feeling and sharing her fear, I eagerly returned her embrace. “I still don’t know anything yet. He’s been in there for hours.”

  Mrs. Stokes slowly pulled me away and looked me in the eye. “Everything will be all right,” she said in a loving mother’s voice.

  A distinguished-looking man in a green surgical gown entered.

  “Dr. Barber?” I asked.

  “You must be Christian,” he said. “And of course I’ve seen Reverend and Mrs. Stokes before.” He shook our hands. “Sebastian made it through the operation successfully,” he informed us, “but at the moment he’s unresponsive.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “He hasn’t woken up yet. A few of his arteries were ruptured. We had to fix them and get the bullet out. We’ve moved him to ICU and put him on a ventilator.”

  I felt nauseous.

  “What do we do now, Doctor?” Reverend Stokes asked, his arm around his wife’s shoulders.

  “The only thing you can do is wait and pray,” the doctor said.

  “Can we see him?” I asked.

  “Sure,” he said, “once his vital signs are stable. A nurse will come and get you in about twenty or thirty minutes.” We then thanked the doctor and he left.

  “I need to talk to the police,” Reverend Stokes said, “and see if they found out anything about the sniper.” Stokes turned to his wife, who looked harried. “Do you want to go to the hotel and rest for a while?” he asked her.

  “No, I want to be here when he wakes up.”

  “We’ve been up for over twenty-four hours and we both need some rest.”

  “What if something should happen to him while we are gone?”

  “Christian will call us if anything happens.” He turned to me. “I’ve been a preacher of the gospel for over thirty years, and when I entered politics almost ten years ago, I lost a little part of my Christianity. Watching you go through so much, yet staying connected with God, has shown me that I want back what I’ve lost along the way.” He touched my shoulder. “I’m trying to say I’m sorry for putting you through so much misery. I’m going through my own hell now, and I’m…”

  “I know what you’re trying to say. It’s okay. I’m learning that this Christian walk ain’t easy. None of us will get it exactly right. I just know that God helps me through. And I know he’s gonna help your son. Now you guys go get some rest.”

  They both smiled at me. Mrs. Stokes hesitated to leave. Reverend Stokes promised her they would come back to the hospital first thing in the morning, and she finally agreed. Before they left, he looked at me with grateful eyes. “Thank you for looking after my son.”

  Mrs. Stokes took my hand in both of hers. “I want to thank you, too. I hate to think what would have happened if you hadn’t called the police right away.”

  Tears filled my eyes. I couldn’t speak. I was glad to have finally gained their respect, though this sure wasn’t the way I would have picked for it to happen.

  A few minutes after they left for the hotel, the nurse called me to go see Sebastian. When I entered his room, I saw that he was hooked up to a monitor that measured his blood pressure and heart rate. He had an IV in one arm, a tube in his other arm, and his face was pale. I also noticed that the room had a place for another bed, but it had been removed so Sebastian could have the entire room to himself. Being wealthy and a political figure did have its perks.

  For a moment, my tears fell nonstop. It was hard seeing him so still and lifeless. When I’d composed myself a bit, I kissed his forehead and pulled a chair up next to his bed.

  “Hey, baby,” I said, hoping he could hear me. “I love you.” I held his hand so he would know I was there with him.

  In the morning when his parents came back, I went to the ski resort to get a bite to eat and give his parents some time alone with their son. I also packed a bag of clothes and personal items to take with me. When I returned to the hospital, I asked if I could sleep on a cot in his room, but the nurse said no. She did say I could sleep in the waiting room, though.

  Reverend Stokes told me he had spoken to the officer investigating Sebastian’s shooting, and the officer was going to stop by the next day to question me further and see if Sebastian had regained consciousness so he could question him.

  I sat by Sebastian’s bed for eight days, crying and praying. I struggled to keep my faith as I sat there day after day, looking at the man I loved lie there so unresponsive. His face became thinner, as did the rest of his body. The tubes in his nose frightened me. The IV concerned me even more because I had to be careful each time I hugged him. I had never felt so helpless. One of the nurses told me that I should touch his hands and feet occasionally to see if he would respond.

  I started thinking, I need to talk to him.

  On the sixth day I brought in a Bible that I’d found in the hospital chapel and started reading in the Book of Jeremiah.

  I must have fallen asleep and unknowingly turned the pages, because I woke up with my head in the middle of Job. I heard Sebastian’s parents talking outside of the door.

  “I wish we had that kind of love,” Mrs. Stokes said.

  “Me, too,” I heard Stokes say. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

  Mrs. Stokes said, “My mother was wrong. She always told me status was more important than love. But when I think about the way Sebastian has defended the woman he loves, I realize that the two of them have experienced more love than you and I have in thirty-five years.”

  “You’re right about that,” he said.

  As they opened the door, Mrs. Stokes whispered, “Look at her, sleeping by his side. She should go to the hotel and get some rest. She’s been here constantly.”

  “She’s not going to leave him.”

  I moved a little, then acted as if I was just waking up. I didn’t want them to know that I’d been listening to their conversation. I lifted my head and said hello. Then I pulled down the covers and touched his hands and feet to see if he would respond, as the nurse had told me to do. He didn’t respond, so I pulled his covers back up over him.

  “Christian,” Mrs. Stokes said, “why don’t you go to the cabin to get some rest.”

  “No, ma’am,” I said. “I want to be here if he wakes up.”

  “We’ll stay with him,” Reverend Stokes said. “If he wakes up, we’ll call you at the hotel.”

  I finally agreed to go to the Marriott so I could freshen up and get some sleep. Reverend Stokes gave me the key to their room and the rental car key because the Jeep was still at the ski patrol station. After he gave me directions to the hotel, I grabbed my bag and went to the Marriott.

  I took the elevator to the fifth floor and found the room. When I opened the door I found myself in a large suite with a black leather living room set, fireplace, large-screen TV, and wet bar. All three bedrooms had king-sized beds. Two of them had clothes in
them—his in one, hers in the other. I made myself comfortable in the third one. I took a long, hot bath, put the cell phone on the nightstand, and climbed into bed. I was asleep in seconds.

  Sebastian’s cell phone rang, startling me from sleep. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It said six o’clock. Light streamed in from the windows. How long had I been out?

  “Father, give me strength,” I said, bracing myself for the news that Sebastian had taken a turn for the worse while I was away. I picked up the phone with a trembling hand.

  “Ms. Ware,” a woman’s voice said, “this is Nurse Washington from Gatlinburg Memorial.”

  “Yes?” I said, wondering why the nurse was calling me and not Reverend or Mrs. Stokes.

  “You need to come to the hospital. Sebastian—”

  I hung up before she had the chance to tell me he was gone. I sped to the hospital.

  When I saw Savannah, Steven, Steven’s wife, and Mr. and Mrs. Stokes talking quietly in the waiting room, tears began falling again. The whole family gathering like this could only mean one thing. I had to start imagining my life without Sebastian.

  Savannah rushed up to me and hugged me. Then she grabbed my arm and pulled me close. Her heart was beating wildly. “Isn’t it wonderful?” she said.

  What? I thought. I know death for believers is supposed to be a celebration, but I was way too sad to think that his going home was wonderful.

  “Look,” I said, “I know I’m supposed to be happy about him being in heaven and all, but I just can’t do that right now.”

  She smiled. “Didn’t the nurse tell you? Sebastian is awake!”

  I stared at her for a moment to make sure I’d heard right. Her huge grin told me I had. I immediately rushed to Sebastian’s room.

  When I walked into the room, his eyes were closed but his color looked better. I whispered his name. His eyes opened and he smiled at me.

  “There you are, beautiful,” he said, his voice weak and scratchy. “My parents told me you never left my side, but when I finally woke up you were gone.”

  “I’m so sorry, I—”

  “Come here,” he interrupted.

  My tears of sadness turned to tears of joy. I rushed over and kissed him. “Thank You, Lord,” I cried out. “I love you, Sebastian. I love you so much.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “For what?”

  “My dad told me about the governor. I can’t believe he hired someone to kill me. Dad said the police caught the guy who shot me. The police are trying to get him to admit that he was hired by the governor and to help them expose the governor’s hand in it.”

  “I never should have gone to the hotel,” I said, shaking my head. An awful lot had happened while I was asleep! I gently rubbed his hand. “How are you feeling?”

  “Now that I see you, I feel good. Mom told me you read almost the whole Bible to me.”

  “Not quite. We were going to start on the New Testament today.”

  “Well, then,” he said, “you’d better get to reading.”

  At first I thought he was kidding, but when he told me he really wanted to hear the Word, I opened the Bible and started to read.

  Before I got very far, a man came into the room. He was thin and balding, dressed all in black, and he introduced himself as Chaplain Burke, the hospital chaplain. I asked if he could pray for Sebastian, then suddenly had a crazy thought.

  “Sir,” I asked, “do you marry people?”

  Sebastian gave me a confused look.

  I took his hand. “I don’t want to wait any longer. I almost lost you. If I could be your wife tonight, I’d marry you right now.”

  “Really?” he said, his eyes twinkling.

  I turned to Chaplain Burke and asked, “Is that possible?”

  He asked, “Do you have a marriage license?”

  I said, “No.”

  “My father has a friend who’s a presiding officer,” Sebastian said. “I’m sure he can arrange that.” I was thrilled to hear him so excited about my idea.

  “You’ll have to get blood tests,” Chaplain Burke added.

  “We’re in a hospital,” I said, my smile getting broader by the minute. “Can’t get much easier than that!”

  Burke shrugged. “When do you want the ceremony?”

  “Tonight,” I said, my heart pounding with anticipation.

  “Do you really think we can set everything up?” Sebastian asked. “What about all the plans we made for our big, fancy wedding?”

  I laughed. “As long as I marry you, who cares about fancy? You just relax. I’ll make the arrangements.” I turned to Chaplain Burke and said, “How’s eight o’clock for you?”

  “Great for me,” he joked. From the grin on his face, it seemed he was almost as excited about this as we were.

  “Thank you, sir,” Sebastian said as the chaplain left the room.

  When Sebastian’s family came back in, we told them about our decision. His hospital room was so spacious and nice that even with all his family in there, we weren’t cramped.

  To my surprise, his mom gave me a great, big hug. Then she stood back, her eyes wide. “We’ve got so much to do!” She grabbed my arm and Savannah’s, then tried to drag us out of the room.

  I stopped her and said, “Mrs. Stokes, I can’t leave Sebastian when he just woke up from his coma. I can get married in what I have on.”

  Before Mrs. Stokes could answer, Sebastian said, “Christian, I’m going to be fine. Go with Mom and get a beautiful wedding dress and my dad will stay here with me to make sure that I’m okay.”

  “I can’t leave you now!”

  “Yes, you can. Dad will be here, along with the doctors and nurses. If my condition changes, they will call you on my cell phone. Go, Christian. I want you to be the most beautiful bride ever.”

  “Okay, but I’ll call to check up on you.”

  The first thing Mrs. Stokes did when we left the hospital was to announce the wedding to all the press who were gathered outside. The reporters all asked if they could have an exclusive. I told them no media would be allowed to attend, but that we would be happy to provide them with pictures after the ceremony.

  Mrs. Stokes ended the impromptu press conference and escorted Savannah and me to her rental car. While she drove, I called my mom on Sebastian’s cell phone. “I’ve got great news,” I told her. “Sebastian is awake, he’s doing okay, and we’re getting married tonight.”

  “Praise the Lord,” she said. “Congratulations, honey.”

  “Can you and Crystal come? I know it’s short notice, but I really want you both to be here. D.C. has flights leaving every day—you could fly into Atlanta and catch a connecting flight to Nashville, then I’ll have someone drive you to Gatlinburg. It can be done, Mom. Come.”

  “Honey, Crystal is seven and a half months pregnant and the doctor told her that she couldn’t fly after her sixth month. Besides, I wouldn’t want my first grandchild to be born in an airport or in the middle of your wedding. But I’ll be there if I can get a flight. What time is the ceremony?”

  “Eight o’clock,” I told her.

  I gave her my credit card information to pay for the flight, knowing how expensive last-minute arrangements could be. “Call me when you’ve made the reservations so I can arrange to have someone pick you up at the airport. And book a room at the Marriott in Gatlinburg with my credit card, too.”

  “Have you told Eden yet?” Mom asked.

  “No,” I said. “I’m planning to call her next. I’ll have her call you so the two of you can come out together.”

  “That sounds wonderful, dear,” she said.

  Mrs. Stokes pulled into a parking structure and my connection started to break up. “I’ve got to go, Mom,” I said. “I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby,” she said. “I’ll see you soon!”

  I had been in Tennessee for almost two weeks, but this was my first time in historical downtown Gatlinburg. The ci
ty was quaint, cozy, and cute. Cable cars and horse-drawn carriages traveled on cobblestone streets between old restored buildings. Since it was Christmastime, the streets were decorated with antique nativity scenes, old-fashioned sleighs, and millions of dazzling Christmas lights.

  The three of us strolled down the street, looking into all the boutique windows to see if anything caught our eye. Finally, one shop had a gorgeous dress I just had to try on. It was made of white lace, had a three-foot train, the sleeves had pearls woven into the fabric, and the bodice showed a hint of cleavage.

  When I put it on in the dressing room and looked in the mirror, I was stunned by how beautiful the dress looked on me. I knew this was the dress I would marry Sebastian in. When I stepped out of the dressing room, Mrs. Stokes and Savannah gasped. When the salesperson told me how much the dress cost, it was my turn to gasp. But Mrs. Stokes insisted on taking care of the bill.

  As the salesperson rang up the purchase, my soon-to-be mother-in-law said, “Christian, I was wrong to treat you the way I have, and I want to apologize. You taught me that love is more important than social status. And you’ve made my son the happiest I have ever seen him.”

  “Thank you,” I choked out. The salesclerk handed me the huge plastic bag with my wedding gown in it, and I looked at Mrs. Stokes with misty eyes. “Thank you so much.”

  We went to several more stores to buy shoes and accessories, then returned to the hospital. Mrs. Stokes stopped at the nurse’s station to see if they had a room available for me to change in.

  The nurse took me to a small room three doors down from Sebastian’s. She asked, “Will this do?”

  I said, “Yes, this will be just fine. Thank you very much.”

  As I was putting on my makeup, my mom walked into the room. She must have gotten on the first plane coming to Tennessee.

  “You made it!” I screamed as I gave her a hug.

  “I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  “How’s Crystal?” I asked.

  “She’s very excited for you. And for herself, too. Just yesterday she signed the papers to let Eden adopt her baby.”