The Loverboy

by Miel Vermeulen

  arms. Both arms were covered in old needle marks. “I was getting old and wasn"t that popular with the Johns

  anymore. Also I started using too much and was getting too

  expensive. The profit they made off me was minimal and thus they

  gave me the same treatment as you. I knew though. I remember

  hoping that I would just be a mule. You know where they use you

  to smuggle without getting caught but the amount was too small

  so I knew I was the decoy.”

  Kim looked at her in surprise and asked “If you knew why

  not just get rid of the drugs? Just drop it in the trash before

  the police found it.”

  Laura shrugged “because I wanted out and this was the only

  way I could see how. I am no longer a prostitute and drugs is in

  short supply here so I am clean too. In many ways my life is

  better now than when I was „free". A lot of women even go back

  to their loverboy after they get out. I hope I can stop myself

  from doing that.”

  Kim swallowed hard and nodded.

  “Why did you think I was from the Netherlands?” Kim asked.

  “Loverboys is a big problem over there and thus I thought

  you were from there. The problem is that the girls do everything

  voluntary and thus it"s hard to prove criminal acts on the

  loverboy"s part. However the law is catching up with it and they have recently included clauses in the Dutch laws to take down

  these loverboys. So I guess they are looking for areas where

  laws are still not covering this and I guess the United States

  is one of those areas. There is an outfit in Amsterdam that uses

  the blue butterfly tattoo you have and I heard rumors that they

  were expanding internationally but nothing more than that. I

  guess you are proof it is true.”

  “So the tattoo is a stamp of ownership” Kim concluded

  horrified.

  “Yep” Laura confirmed, “And it"s also good for business.”

  Kim looked puzzled.

  “Getting arrested for solicitation is bad enough but it"s

  really bad if you get caught with an underage hooker” Laura

  explained, “So if you have a tattoo the Johns can justifiably

  claim that they thought you were eighteen since you need to be

  eighteen to get a tattoo. So you get more business if you look

  really young like you but they have an out in case they get

  arrested.”

  Kim was more and more in shock. Her faith in human nature

  was wobbling more and more.

  “You are nothing more than a tool to make money for these

  people. A commodity” Laura tried to comfort her. “How could I have been this stupid?” Kim asked herself

  aloud.

  Laura put an arm around her and said “Don"t blame yourself.

  These people are masters of manipulation. You just acted the way

  they expected you too. If anything you did better than most and

  the scary part is that the good ones are successful with over

  ninety percent of the girls. They don"t mind spending some money

  as they will earn it back a hundred times over. You have nothing

  to be ashamed of.”

  It didn"t really make her feel much better but it was a start.

  Chapter 23:

  Back in her cell Kim tried to think things over once again.

  Things were turned upside down again and she didn"t know what to

  do. Clearly she couldn"t count on Jake coming to her rescue

  anymore. She didn"t want him too. He had done it all. He had

  arranged that she would be raped so he could play the hero. Then

  he had gotten her hooked on drugs and manipulated her into

  walking the streets and all by pretending it was because of her.

  And she had tried to protect the slime. She wished she could

  have him there so she could beat the crap out of him. She could

  never do to him what he had done to her though. She didn"t think

  she could be that evil but she would sure give it her best shot.

  He had alienated her from her family so he could have more

  control over her and she had let him thinking she was protecting

  him.

  He probably never shot one of the guys that had raped her.

  He had probably used blanks or shot high. It had all been one

  big performance and she had bought it all like a three year old

  sitting on Santa"s knee. The anger seemed to consume her but she let it. She would rather be angry than think about what was

  next. None of it looked good and it was better to just stew

  about the asshole that had put her here. The rest would come

  later. In her cell she stewed and over the next few hours she

  came up with over a hundred ways to kill or torture him and

  played each one in her mind over and over for satisfaction.

  Rose returned at lockdown and gave her a strange look. She

  must have looked like she was in a trance with an evil smile on

  her face as she thought about ways to hurt him. Kim told her the

  whole story and how Laura had explained it all to her. Rose was

  shocked and comforted her. The anger drifted away as Rose held

  her and sorrow came in its place. She thought about all the

  suffering she had felt and seen. She had suffered a lot but so

  had her mom and Ally. She thought of Annie and longed for the

  friendship that seemed a life time ago. She longed for her old

  life back, never would she think it wasn"t good enough anymore.

  Never again would she complain about her life being too boring.

  Boring sounded pretty good right now. Sure there was enough

  boredom here but it wasn"t boring. At lights out she got into

  her bed and cried herself to sleep.

  The next morning they got up and Rose took her to

  breakfast. They ate and sat around with a group of women for a

  while. There were also a couple of three year old boys running around the table. She still couldn"t get used to the kids

  running around in the maximum security prison. These kids had

  never seen the outside of the jail and were completely content

  within its walls.

  Around ten Rose nudged her and they went into the kitchen

  for her first shift in the kitchen. They did the lunch and

  dinner shifts and where Rose was clearly one of the people in

  charge, Kim was put into a corner to peel potatoes and whatever

  other vegetables were on the menu. The amounts were mind

  boggling and she started before lunch peeling for the dinner

  shift. Depending on what they had on the menu she had help but

  most of the time she was on her own. She figured it was due to

  her basic Spanish and status as the newest member of the kitchen

  staff that had earned her this lowly position but she was happy

  to have it. It was mind numbing work but it kept her busy.

  While she was working she always had her ears open for

  anything that was said and then she would repeat it softly to

  herself. It helped and after another month or so people stopped

  snickering whenever she would say something in Spanish. Another

  month or two later another one of the kitchen staff was released

  and she was promoted to cooking vegetables. But since there was

  a slow time after lunch she often helped the new girl in the slow times with the peeling; anything to keep her mind off her

  situation. />
  In her free time she read a lot and studied her Spanish. By

  August she was fluent which she felt was good as she wanted to

  be able to follow her trial and actually understand what was

  going on. She made many friends and the jail didn"t seem as bad

  anymore. As time went on she started to make peace with her

  situation and decided to just take things as they came. This

  didn"t mean that she was just going to let everything just roll

  over her but more that she wasn"t going to look for short cuts

  anymore. She was going to work hard and try to make the best

  life for herself that she possibly could even if it meant

  spending the rest of her life here in this prison. This train of

  thought seemed to make things easier for her. “Live life a day

  at a time” that was her new motto. This seemed to be the way

  many of the inmates that had the happiest appearance seemed to

  live.

  She made many friends and the work in the kitchen seemed to

  give a purpose in life. It also helped that she found out that

  kitchen employees were generally left alone by the ones that

  were trouble. One of the unwritten rules was that you don"t mess

  with the ones that handle your food. She still stayed clear of

  the ones that were reported to be trouble and when someone tried to put the moves on her she made sure she would turn them down

  very respectfully so that there were no hard feelings. Sometimes

  she considered hooking up in the prison, it seemed nice to have

  some companionship but it just didn"t do much for her. Maybe it

  had been because of her life on the street and she just didn"t

  miss the physical aspect of a relationship. All she needed was a

  hug every now and then and Rose, Laura, Maria or anyone in the

  kitchen staff was always available for that.

  Sometimes she got scared of how she had made peace with

  everything. Surely this had not been what life had had in store

  for her but usually she just dismissed those thoughts with “It

  is what it is” and she went about her business. The prison had

  almost become her new high school. It had cliques just like

  school had but here she had many friends where in school she had

  had only one.

  She thought of Annie a lot. Annie had probably graduated by

  now and was getting ready to go to college. Whenever she thought

  of that she vowed to graduate herself. With her Spanish up to

  speed she signed up for classes in the library in the mornings.

  The purpose of the classes was to obtain the equivalent of high

  school while in prison. The program was not that well used but

  the woman who ran it was very passionate about it and always

  managed to encourage enough of the women to take the classes to keep the program going. She was a former teacher that had shot

  her abusive husband. He had lied and since he had been the one

  on the floor with a bullet in his leg she had been found the

  aggressor and self defense was not accepted. She had gotten ten

  years for attempted murder.

  Kim found much inspiration from her. She had gotten a

  rotten deal and yet her main focus in prison was to make other

  people"s lives better and where ever she could and Kim would try

  and follow her example. Quickly she helped out with the studies

  when it came to English, the rest she needed enough help herself

  with but at least she was able to give something back. Gradually

  she started to get her self esteem back. She was loved and that

  felt great. And it wasn"t because of how she looked or what she

  wore. After all everyone wore the same clothes. It was because

  of how she acted. She was friendly and helpful and always there

  for anyone in need. It changed her perspective on life and she

  liked it and vowed to continue when she got out.

  Jake was also no longer on her mind. She would take care of him when she got out too somehow…if she ever got out.

  Chapter 24:

  It was two months before her trial and she used the money

  she made in the kitchen to call Nicandro, her lawyer. It wasn"t

  until the sixth attempt that she finally got a hold of him. He

  seemed preoccupied and too busy to talk to her. It took him a

  few moments to remember her, long enough for him to pull her

  file and look her up it seemed.

  Then he said “Yes, your trial is coming up in a few months.

  I"ve been preparing for it and I think we are ready for it.”

  She knew this was a lie. By now she had talked to plenty of

  inmates and discovered that drug related charges were dealt with

  harshly and her case was bleak at best. She had been caught with

  two pounds of cocaine in her suitcase and she had admitted that

  she had put it there. She had signed a confession stating this.

  A confession in Spanish that the officer had conveniently left

  out some of the details from. Details like her not being aware

  of the content of the box and she thought that the lawyer had already written her off. He promised to visit in the next few

  weeks but it seemed more like he was trying to get rid of her.

  He didn"t show in the next two weeks and she started

  bugging him again. After almost daily calls he finally showed

  two weeks later and laid out the trial for her. The judge was a

  tough one and the evidence against her was overwhelming. She had

  been caught with the drugs and in trafficking charges that alone

  was usually sufficient. She inquired if the statement she had

  signed could be thrown out because it hadn"t been complete but

  he didn"t think it could. He would check. He also explained to

  her that since she was an American, they would make an example

  of her for other Americans that were considering drug

  trafficking as a way to make quick buck. The penalty could be

  between ten and twenty five years. She gasped and he gave her a

  look as reassuring as he could muster. She was young he

  explained and even though her story was unconfirmed it might

  still hold some weight. Her young age might get her off on the

  shorter side of the spectrum. Ten to fifteen years he estimated.

  Fifteen years max he assured her. With parole she could be out

  in seven or eight years. She could be out by age twenty five.

  That was plenty of time to start over.

  Twenty five was still young he assured her and after she

  thought about it she agreed. She wasn"t happy about the prospect but it had an end. Twenty to twenty five years was only given to

  the most hardened of criminals, which she certainly was not.

  When he left he promised to visit her again soon. She told her

  friend about the meeting and they all comforted her with the

  sentiment that the prospect of being out in seven years was

  pretty good. After all she had already been there almost half a

  year and that would mean only six and a half more to go. As

  depressing as it had seemed at first she started to feel some

  hope again. After everything she had been through and knowing

  that there had been a force working against her, she thought

  that she could easily start over. Without someone to sabotage

  her it would be easy and she would not be so gullible anymore.

&
nbsp; She thought about her mother and Ally and missed them more

  than ever knowing that it might be a long time before she would

  see them again. For five days she worked on a letter to them in

  the evening. After five days she had a ten page letter and she

  read it over and over. It was perfect she thought and then she

  threw it in the trash. She wanted her mom to come see her and

  comfort her but she couldn"t bear putting her through more

  misery than she had already caused and decided that letting her

  mom know where she was would be selfish and cruel. It was best

  if her mom didn"t have to worry. She also decided it would not be fair to Ally. Ally would

  be a freshman in high school now. She would need her mom and not

  have her mom running off to Mexico to visit her loser daughter.

  Again she was on her own and she was going to get this resolved

  but she was still quietly hoping that the judge would see her

  side of things and see how she had been the victim of an

  unspeakable evil. After that he would have to let her go. But

  she realized those were just dreams and reality was that she was

  going to have to do the ten years, behave and be out in seven.

  After that they might require her to stay in Mexico for a while

  but more likely she would be deported back to the United States.

  Why keep a criminal longer than you need too?

  Two weeks before the trial and Nicandro came by again. The

  trial was going to be a judge only trial. No jury.

  “Is this good?” she asked.

  He shrugged and admitted that he didn"t know. It could be

  good or bad. A judge meant you only had to convince one person

  instead of a group. However he told her that the judge also was

  part of the prosecutorial team and that he too worked on

  building the case against her. This made her fearful. She

  inquired if he had tried to contact Jake again but he hadn"t.

  Neither of them thought there would be any merit to contacting

  him but she asked him anyway and he agreed feeling bad for her. Who knew maybe Jake had gotten a sudden conscience and would

  admit that she was innocent? Not likely but she would try

  anything at this point in time. He had done so much harm that

  she hoped he might actually do the right thing but from what

  Laura had told her that would not be the normal operating

  procedure for loverboys.